Big Bunny Episode 8
Suzy was lying on the ground, watching a bug. It was a large black beetle, bigger than any bug she had ever seen. She was suddenly reminded of the large pink rabbit- a bunny bigger than any bunny should ever be. Big Bunny told stories, horrible stories. Stories about turnip tyrants and coats that ate hands and illicit office love. Suzy was glad when the bunny had to leave the forest- the only problem being that he had taken Suzy's best friends with him. Lulu and the round-headed boy were not the smartest people ever to walk the face of the earth. In fact, they had been stupid enough to climb into a giant picnic basket and go away with Big Bunny. So now, Suzy had nothing to do but watch bugs. As much as she hated to admit it, she did miss Lulu, the round-headed boy, and even the giant pink rabbit.
~*~
Lulu and the round-headed boy were inside a picnic basket. It was swinging through the air, carried by Big Bunny. The couch was inside of the picnic basket, and they were sitting on it quite comfortably, except when the basket swung so high that their heads hit the ceiling. Suddenly, a memory forced its way through Lulu's thick skull. Suzy, when she had seen the couch, had said, "That's not a couch- that's French bread!" At the time, Lulu had dismissed it as more of Suzy's usual paranoia (not that Lulu knew that word), but now she wondered if it was true. She leaned down and took a bite, and sure enough- French bread! Good thing, too, because she was tired of the French fries and mayonnaise that the bunny had provided for them. All at once, the basket stopped swinging and fell to the ground. The flap on the right opened up, and the face of Big Bunny loomed over Lulu and the round-headed boy.
~*~
Suzy was still watching a bug. However, she had been watching this particular bug for several hours now, and was wishing she was doing something more interesting. If Big Bunny was still there, she and Lulu and the round-headed boy would probably be visiting him right now. He would probably be telling some horrible story, but at least it would be more interesting than watching bugs. Suzy stood up and stepped on the big black beetle.
~*~
Lulu and the round-headed boy hopped out of the picnic basket. "Hello, Fuzzy Bunny Friend!" said Lulu, grinning up at the pink rabbit.
"Hello, tasty children! How was your trip?" said Big Bunny, looking down at the smiling children.
"It was fun! And you know what? Suzy was right! The couch IS made of French bread! It's delicious!" For the first time, the round-headed boy spoke.
"I want to be French someday…." Lulu jumped up and down.
"Me too! Me too!" The bunny, tired of talking about French things, said,
"Delectable children- would you like to hear a story?"
"Yes, please!" Said Lulu. She and the round-headed boy sat at Big Bunny's feet, waiting patiently for the story to begin.
~*~
Suzy walked back to her house, planning what she was going to do. She filled a blue backpack with the things she'd need- a sweater, a carrot, a picture of Muffin, and her favorite book- How to Survive Encounters With Giant Pink Rabbits. She brushed her purple hair and put on a clean red dress. Leaving a note to her parents on the kitchen table, she put the backpack on her back and walked down the street, past the smashed beetle, and towards the Crusty Pines Executive Housing Complex Phase III.
~*~
"Once upon a time, there was a pony. The pony was pink and white, and had a horn on its forehead."
"A unicorn?" Lulu interrupted.
"Yes. A yoo-ee-corn. The yoo-nee-corn was very sad, because the yoo-nee-corn was very bored and wanted to do something with its life. So the yoo-nee-corn left. The yoo-nee-corn wandered for years and years, until it was eaten by a giant bu- er, chipmunk. Yes, a chipmunk. The chipmunk ate the yoo-nee-corn's horn and left the rest for his chipmunky friends. Theeeeeee end."
"Hurrah!" Said the round-headed boy.
"That was a great story!" Said Lulu.
~*~
Suzy walked through the Crusty Pines Executive Housing Complex Phase III, and straight out the other side of it, into the paper-thin layer of trees that was all that was left of the forest. She passed through that in about 5 minutes, and found herself standing at one end of a grassy green meadow that extended for miles and miles. She saw something pink in the distance, and ran towards it. However, it turned out just to be a flower.
~*~
Lulu and the round-headed boy had not taken a bath for a week. Even Big Bunny was noticing. He said,
"Tasty children. You must bathe yourselves. Here, take this bar-bee-kyoo sauce and rub it on yourselves. Then, pour these bacon bits over your heads, then you can take a nap in this nice bowl of lettuce- I mean, soft green blankets. The round-headed boy immediately did as he said. Lulu followed suit, but was secretly wondering why he wanted them to pour barbecue sauce and bacon bits on their heads.
"What would Suzy say if she were here? Lulu thought to herself. Lulu imagined Suzy saying,
"What?! I'm not pouring that stuff on my head! Stupid rabbit." Lulu sighed. Oh, how she missed Suzy.
~*~
Suzy continued through the meadow, past the pink flower. She eventually came to a tree. This was no ordinary tree, however. This tree had leaves. But the leaves were no ordinary leaves- they were all exactly shaped like Suzy. The fruit of the tree was shaped like Lulu, and there was a bush right next to it with fruit shaped like the round-headed boy.
"That's weird. Abnormal. I'm not eating that fruit." Suzy thought to herself. Although, she was so very hungry. There was no harm that could be done by eating it…. Right? Suzy picked a piece of each kind of fruit. She bit off the right arm and the left leg of both the green, Lulu shaped fruit and the purple, round-headed boy shaped fruit.
~*~
Suddenly, Big Bunny got a very, very strong craving. About four minutes later, Lulu and the round-headed boy were each missing their right arms and left legs.
~*~
Suzy was getting a weird feeling about the fruit. She decided that meals would have to come from somewhere else, and tossed the fruit to the ground. All at once, two things happened- first, Suzy noticed a small forest about 200 yards to her left. Second, two familiar-sounding screams came from that direction. Suzy sprinted towards them as fast as she could.
~*~
Lulu and the round-headed boy, after they screamed, stood in front of Big Bunny completely shocked into silence. He was standing there with blood dripping from his mouth, a small pile of human bones lying at his feet. Lulu was the first to speak.
"Why did you eat our arms and legs, Fuzzy Bunny Friend?" Big Bunny thought fast.
"Um…. I wanted to make sure that you did not taste good. If you tasted good, then…. Um…. Wolves would eat you. Do not worry, crunchy children. The wolves will not eat you." The round-headed boy cheered. Lulu was a bit suspicious, but too tired to argue.
"Well…. Alright, bunny. Shouldn't we go to sleep now?" Before Big Bunny could respond, a familiar figure ran into sight. Suzy stood in front of them, panting, out of breath, and staring in shock at the bloody stumps of her best friends' limbs. Once again, Lulu was the first to break the silence.
"Hiiii, Suzy! We missed you!" Suzy picked up a very large rock and threw it at the bunny's face, knocking him out cold. She grabbed Lulu and the round-headed boy by their left wrists and sprinted all the way home. Nobody has seen Big Bunny since then- although Lulu and the round-headed boy insist on leaving cheeseburgers on the lawn every Easter, and in the morning, they're always gone, along with a few neighborhood children.
~THE END! W00T!~