Hey everyone! Chelseyelric here once again with exciting news! As of today, I am the only person to have ever posted a rated M Rolf/Kevin slash fic on this site! XD Isn't that exciting! X3 Though I'm sticking to my old ways and teasing you guys with a setting in the first chapter and making the smut chapter later on (because this is a oneshot and giving the whole thing to you at once would just be crazy XD), I'm hoping that this will inspire more fics for this pairing :3 Anywho, on with the show! XD

He rang the doorbell and waited with hands in his pockets as the smell of Rolf's farm filled his nose.

He hated that smell.

Earlier that day, Kevin had been invited to Rolf's house for some holiday he'd never heard of and didn't care about, but when Rolf told him there would be food, the red-head hopped on his bike and came over as fast as he could. Rolf may be weird, but the dude makes some awesome steaks and stuff.

The son of a shepherd finally answered the door with a huge smile on his tanned, rugged face and his deep black hair a mess as usual, but there was something missing: his shirt. His muscular chest and arms were just...there.

"Hey, dude. What's-" He grabbed Kevin's shirt, pulled it over his head and pushed him inside. He stood there at a loss as to what had just happened while he fixed his hat.

"Give me my shirt back, man!" Kevin jumped for it, but the foreign youth held it out of his reach.

"It is very disrespectful to wear the shirts of T in a host's home on this, the most sacred day of Kontushlidad, Kevin. Do not worry; you will receive it upon your leaving, yes? Now, however is time for the etunga-lee!" Rolf squealed excitedly and led him in the direction of his den.

"Dude, what's etanga-" Kevin almost ran into him as he suddenly bent over in front of him.

"Dude, seriously, what the heck?"

"Ah, you must do the touching of the toes to show respect for ones ancestors. This symbolizes the hard labors they had to endure to come to this roosipalooz of a country. Come, Kevin, join Rolf." He really didn't want to, but then he began thinking about the meat and figured, why not? Kevin bent over and touched his toes easily, his shaggy red hair hitting his face. They then stood only to sit on the mats in the middle of the floor with a bowl between them. Rolf said some things Kevin didn't understand and touched the food in the bowl. The bowl in front of them was full of small brown kiwi looking things.

"Are those the, uh, etungutungs?"

"The etunga-lees they are, yes? Please, guests first,"

Rolf held out the bowl and Kevin reluctantly took one. When he sniffed it and took a bite, he found it was soft and juicy. He chewed it slowly, getting used to the texture and was filled with a strange sort of warmth. It slowly traveled through his body, starting with his throat. Oh, it was wonderful, like melted honey. He could see why Rolf had gotten so excited about it. Rolf stuck one in his mouth and closed his eyes, savoring every second of the treat.

"This is a rare delicacy from Rolf's homeland. It is only eaten on the third day of Kontushlidad. We are not to eat too many, or we are to conbushil our innards and spoil the feast," He popped another two into his mouth and stood.

"Speaking of such things, Rolf must go check on the sausages and jerky of beef for tonight's meal. Please enjoy until Rolf returns," and with that, he touched his toes and left the room.

Kev ate another of the fuzzy fruits and the warmth began to tingle pleasantly down his spine. Then he ate another and another and another, each time feeling warmer and warmer until it developed into a heat. Every part of him seemed to be on fire, but it wouldn't burn him up. He laid there on the ground, sweating and panting heavily thinking of how he was going to cool off when he suddenly became too weak to move. He began to feel tingles set in, and couldn't quite describe how it felt. He just knew that it didn't feel bad.

"Kevin?" He heard Rolf ask from what seemed to be miles away. "Kevin!" He turned his head slowly in Rolf's direction and saw him running toward him from the kitchen. Rolf almost entered the living room without touching his toes, but thought it better to do it quickly and then come to Kevin's aid.

"How many of the sacred fruits have you consumed, Kevin?" Rolf asked as he hurriedly checked for a pulse and felt Kevin's forehead. His hands felt icy and Kev didn't know if he wanted him to continue or go away. Kevin just couldn't seem to make up his mind.

"6 or 20, I don't know, man," he groaned out, leaning into Rolf's touches. Rolf cursed something under his breath in his foreign language.

It was then that Kevin was weightless. At first he was confused, but then saw that Rolf had picked him up off the floor and was placing him on the couch.

"I am so sorry, Kevin," he said in a low sympathetic voice as he felt Kevin's forehead in a different spot.

"Why are you apologizing, man?" he asked in a slur.

Rolf began to blush and rub the back of his neck, his arm muscles flexing Kevin noticed.

"I should have explained the sootsa of the etunga-lee to you, Kevin, for it would not just ruin your stomach's grumblings for Rolf's feast, but make you feel a feeling one such as yourself could not handle. Etunga-lee, in your crisscross tongue language, would sound something like 'the fruit of passion'."

Kevin sighed. "Dude, do you mean passion fruit? Cuz I've had that stuff and these are not it"

"No, Kevin. It..." Kevin watched Rolf's lips as they moved to explain something to him. He didn't really catch it because he was beginning to realize that something was happening. "...as it will make you feel such a passion that cannot be satisfied except by-" Rolf blushed harder and Kevin wondered why he'd stopped.

"You must remove the juices from your body or it may come to harm you. You must do this by...by, how do you say it...milking yourself?" he said.

Kevin wasn't sure if he'd heard him right. "What? I can't milk myself, dude. I don't have an utter or anything and I'm definitely not a chick." he said completely missing the implication and feeling kinda strange.

"No, no, you must, how else can I say it? Maybe...I should just bring into your sight what I am meaning," he said and nervously got over Kevin.

"Kay, man," he said, almost out of it trying to figure out how he felt different.

Rolf placed his open palm on Kevin's right nipple and Kevin sighed. His hands were strong but soft and oh so cold.

"Mmm, Rolf," he moaned out.

Rolf swallowed nervously and slid his hand down toward the place that needed to be milked. He'd never done this, not with anyone else. He had always been too busy working in the farm and was too tired when the day was out, but, oh yes, he knew what to do. He looked up and saw Kevin watching him with half-lidded eyes. He smiled down at him and Rolf gained enough confidence to grab him through his jeans.

Kevin hadn't been expecting this, but it wasn't unwelcomed. He thrusted into Rolf's hand and gasp/moaned.

See? What did I tell ya? Smut LAAAAATER XD Anyway, you should know the drill by now: once I receive enough reviews to continue I will. After all, Chelseyelric lives on comments and peanut butter