A/N: This story takes place a few years in the future.
Disclaimer: I do not own Code Lyoko.
Slipping Away
by Zeakari
The room was dark, save for the pale light of the monitor screen casting eerie shadows about the room. An ominous feeling seemed to weigh down the air of the room, unnoticed by its sole occupant. Nothing moved except for his hands, the constant clacking of computer keys creating the only sound within the gloomy room.
"Dammit," Jeremie cursed under his breath as he heard the sound of knocking on his door. He kept a stiff silence, in hopes that whomever had knocked would assume he wasn't there and leave. He had no such luck, though, as the knocking continued. He quickly minimized everything on his computer screen, not wanting anyone to see his work. He stood, pushing his chair harshly out of the way, almost knocking it over as he began to make his way to the door. He opened it to see whom it was that had gone out of their way to bother him, squinting as his eyes adjusted to the bright yellow lights in the hallway. Emerald eyes stared up at him, filled with concern. Jeremie's eye twitched. "What do you want, Aelita?"
The girl shuffled her feet, looking nervous under the scrutiny of his gaze. "Jeremie... I... Is it alright if I come in?" He stood there for a moment, considering telling her no. He stood aside, though, not saying anything. She stepped into the room and looked around. It had been so long since she set foot in here. She noticed the poster of Einstein that had once hung proudly on the wall near his bed was no longer there.
"Well?" she heard him grunt. The hairs on the back of her neck began to stand as she could practically feel him staring at her, boring a hole through her with his eyes. She never used to feel uncomfortable around him before. It had taken her a while to work up enough courage to just to knock on the door, let alone confront him. She didn't want to turn around. She was afraid of what she might see in his eyes.
"I'm worried about you, Jeremie," she said, keeping her back to him for the moment. "You've been acting strange lately."
Déjà vu. Where had he heard this before?
"Okay...?" he urged her, quickly becoming impatient.
"You... You know you can tell me if anything is wrong. I'm your friend." She turned around, but stared at the floor rather than look up at him. "This is so similar to the time you used that headset and it made you sick. You're not..."
Oh yea, now he remembered. "Do you really think I'm stupid enough to try that again?"
The girl flinched visibly. "I didn't mean that, and you know it." She looked up at him, seeing his ice-colored eyes staring back at her. Out of nowhere, she could feel the sting of tears wishing to well up in her eyes and spill over her cheeks. She inhaled and held her breath, hoping to keep them at bay. She did not want to cry, especially not now. She had to appear strong. Under that cold gaze, she had to show that she was not afraid of him. Otherwise it may push him away even more.
But those eyes... they were so cold. Where was the Jeremie she had known less than a year ago? He was never this way before. He looked almost hostile, like if she made the wrong move he would hurt her. Knock her to the floor and kick her side until she screamed, his expression unchanging, at least until he got blood on his hands. Then he would smile, glad he had gotten rid of her for good, and then lick the sticky, wet substance as if it were a delicious treat.
She released her breath, horrified at what she had imagined. How could she think such a terrible thing about her closest friend? This was insane. She had to stop this.
"Jeremie, you need to get out of this room," she started. "The only time I see you is during class. You don't come to lunch anymore. You don't hang out with us anymore. Was it something that we did or said that might've hurt you? ... Did I do something?" She stepped closer to him, practically begging with him. She grabbed a hold of his hand. She almost let go when she felt how cold it was, but instead she squeezed it tight. "Please, Jeremie, tell me what's wrong."
"There's nothing wrong," he said, not reacting to the physical contact.
"Then come with me," she pleased. "We'll go to a restaurant together and have dinner, just the two of us. It doesn't have to be fancy, just come with me. We haven't had a decent conversation in so long. I want to see you."
He broke eye contact with her to stare over her head. A small reflection of the computer's screen light could be seen on his glasses, obscuring his eyes. "I'm busy right now. It's very important."
Aelita felt her heart sink as whatever hope she had of getting him to go with her were dashed. When they were younger, he would have more than likely blushed deeply and stumbled over his words at that proposal. After all, it was practically a date she was asking him to, and yet it was as if she had merely asked about the weather.
She could feel her pulse begin to race as unexpected anger welled up inside of her. How could he be doing this to her? To all of his friends? It was as if he were just tossing them aside like a toy he no longer had interest in. They had beaten XANA, so she knew that it wasn't life-saving important. What could possibly be so important that it made it okay for him to neglect his friends? Did he care about them at all? Did he care about her?
"Fine," she uttered. She wanted to say more. She wanted to say so much more that her throat hurt from containing it. But the energy she felt from the anger was quickly dissipating to be replaced by a feeling of helplessness. She couldn't even help her friend. He was right in front of her, but she couldn't reach him. She let go of his hand, letting it drop lifelessly to his side. "I'll go then." It was a wonder she was able to keep her voice steady. For a split second she wondered if bursting into tears would change anything. Would he try to comfort her like he used to whenever she felt sad?
She walked around him and stepped out the door. She would have continued down the hall if it weren't for his voice calling out her name. She turned, her eyes widening. He was looking at her, his eyes still dull. But was there something there? He winced a little.
"Maybe tomorrow? There's no school."
Her heart thumped in her chest. Her throat closed up and she couldn't speak, so she merely nodded, unable to keep a smile from spreading across her lips. He nodded back and abruptly shut the door. She blinked, staring at it in surprise. She felt a wetness travel down her cheek. She rubbed at it with the back of her hand, puzzled. She was crying.
Inside the room, Jeremie was still holding onto the doorknob. He glared at it, as though he hated it. What did he just do? Now he would have to drag himself out of the room tomorrow. He didn't have time for that, he had work to do. Now he would have to go somewhere other than in front of his computer. It was a horrible waste of his time. He shouldn't have to be bothered by this. Why was that girl so persistent? She was like a little pest, always bothering him.
His eyes twitched and widened. He released the doorknob and held it palm up before himself, staring at it now as though he had never seen it before. What was wrong with him? This was Aelita he was insulting. Aelita. She was his angel in darkness. Did he not love her?
His hand closed into a fist. She had held his this hand not but a moment ago, yet he had felt nothing. He had felt his heart beat faster, but it may as well not have. It was if his body were reacting to what emotion he should have felt, but he could not feel it. He was numb. She had reached out and touched him and he had felt nothing.
Something was wro- NO!! Nothing was wrong with him. He was just busy. That was all.
Scrambled eggs and a big, greasy sausage. That's what sat on his plate. It may not have looked all that good, but he knew he liked the taste. He ate it before, he would know. The cook was really good at that, making the food not look so great, but the taste usually being very good. But for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to eat it. The thought of it made his stomach turn. His drink was another story, though. Only a few minutes at the table and his cup was already empty. He wanted more, but the cook more than likely wouldn't give him another one. Why was he thirsty but not hungry?
His friends burst out laughing at a joke that he didn't hear. It was probably told by Odd. He was the jokester, after all. Always joking around, never taking anything too seriously. Everything was just a silly little joke to him. Did he not know how to shut his mouth for once and realize that there's more to life than making someone laugh?
Jeremie shook his head at these thoughts, taking a deep breath to calm himself. He had been feeling irritable lately and he couldn't figure out why. It probably had something to do with his deteriorating eating habits. It wasn't so bad, it wasn't as though he was starving. It was just that he couldn't bring himself to eat too much or he would feel sick. He hoped it would pass soon. Being so easily irritable was not all that great. It made him check himself more often, which in turn also started to frustrate him. It was a vicious circle.
What really unnerved him was the fact that it was his friends that he was starting to become more and more frustrated with. He hoped that it was just because of the fact that he hung out with them all the time, so he was unconsciously directing his anger toward them. That seemed logical, but why was it happening, he just couldn't figure out. Was it hormones? That would make sense. Chemical changes within his body causing him mental stress. That made sense.
Jeremie leaned forward and poked at the sausage with his fork, watching it roll around in its own juices. Yes, yes, it made sense. It was a good explanation. His stomach did a flip-flop and he pushed his tray away.
"You gonna eat that, Einstein?" he blinked when he heard Odd ask. He shook his head and the boy immediately dove for his food. Pig.
"Are you all right, Jeremie?" Aelita asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.
He gave her a reassuring smile. "Yeah, I'm just not hungry right now. No worries."
She smiled back and they returned to their original conversation. Jeremie tried to catch up, having not been paying attention at all up until now.
"I'm so glad you came, Jeremie," Aelita said once more. She had repeated herself several times, and it looked as though she would not stop. She was practically skipping as she held the young man's hand. They were walking down the street toward the restaurant she had picked out. It was really just a cheep fast-food joint, but for all she cared, it could've been the fanciest restaurant in town or a roach-infested bar.
When he did not respond, she glanced over at him. He walked with a slouch, and was so thin and pale. Dark circles could be seen under his eyes, indicating his lack of sleep. He used to have a sleeping problem before, but never bad enough to cause his eyes to be so dark. She could see it more clearly in the light of day. It disturbed her how much he had changed right in front of her. She hoped that she could bring him back to normal, though, for his sake and hers.
They reached the place and entered. It wasn't too crowded inside, a few people but plenty of empty seats. They approached the counter, a pimply-faced teenager at the other side of the register. "How can I help you?" the girl asked, plastering on her face a big smile that could only be fake. Aelita tried to ignore it as she ordered her food.
Jeremie merely ordered a drink and nothing more. Despite that, he refused to allow her to pay for it. He did not offer to pay for her order though, which was just as well since she would not have let him anyway. They made their way to a table with two seats and sat to enjoy their meal. That may be inaccurate, though, for they didn't even eat at first. Jeremie fiddled with the lid and straw of his drink while Aelita stared at her wrapped cheeseburger instead of eating it. She almost felt afraid to move in front of him, which unnerved her. She remembered that once she could tell him anything and everything, but now she couldn't even bring herself to eat in front of him. He had never judged her before for anything, why was this such a difficult thing to do now? They used to eat lunch together all the time, of course with their friends. She almost began to panic. She was the one who had brought him here. She had wanted to talk to him, but nothing was happening. They were just sitting there in silence.
"Eat."
She looked up in surprise. Jeremie nibbled at his straw, staring down at the table. His eyes darted to the sides. She watched him do this for a few moments until he glanced up at her.
"You should eat," he told her, speaking around his straw. "Don't just waste your money like that."
She almost laughed out light right there, but managed to contain it to a small cough. She unwrapped her food and took a bite, glad to have something to do now other than sit and stare. She felt a little more comfortable. He had told her to eat, that was better than nothing. Maybe he wasn't as lost to her as she had thought. She decided to try talking, not caring how awkward she might feel She spoke of things that had been going on, hoping something would catch his interest and he would actually speak back to her.
"So, Ulrich and Yumi have really hit it off now. They're getting really close. And... and Odd actually seems to be settling down. You remember that girl Sam? He's been visiting her more and more often, and I haven't seen him with any other girls hanging on him in a while. It's kinda strange seeing him that way, but I'm glad for him." She felt a pang of sadness as she said these things. She shouldn't have to tell him these, he should be with them and already know. He hadn't hung out with them in a while. She started to giggle despite her sadness as she recalled a humorous event. "Oh, you missed it. The other day, Sissi was harassing Odd because he had brought Sam to eat lunch at our school. It was so funny, he told her..."
She continued, but nothing would coax him to respond. She paused and looked down, frowning as she noticed his lack of food. She grabbed her container of fries and placed it in front of him. He raised an eyebrow and glanced up at her, still chewing on his straw. "You should eat too," she said, smiling softly at him. He stared at her for a moment before his eyes traveled down to stare at the little container. His eye twitched and he stopped chewing on his straw, becoming completely still. Aelita's smile dropped a little and she leaned forward. "Jeremie?"
"I'm not hungry," he said abruptly, snapping the side of the lid of his cup.
She shook her head. "You look like you haven't eaten in days. Just eat some."
Jeremie suddenly sat up straight, pushing both his drink and the container away from himself. If it were't for Aelita's quick reaction to grab at them, they would have spilled all over the table. She stared at him in shock as he slunk forward and rubbed at his temples. His glasses slipped off of his nose and fell to the table, but he didn't react to it at first. He dropped his hand on top of it and picked it up, moving as if he had no energy. He looked up at her, a strange expression on his face.
"Why are you bothering?" he asked. He started to twirl his glasses in his hand instead of putting them back on. "What's the point? Am I fun? I haven't been fun. I haven't been showing an interest in your company, but you still persist. Why are you bothering with me?"
Aelita's eyes narrowed. "Because I care about you. Isn't that enough? We all care about you. Your friends are worried for you, and you don't seem to care."
"Why should I?" he snapped, gripping the table with his free hand.
"Because I love you!"
Jeremie wanted to laugh out loud. Love wasn't something he cared about anymore. All it meant to him was that someone wanted his attention, not caring how he didn't want to give it to them. He wanted to be alone, but love forced him to be with someone. He didn't need to be with someone, but apparently this girl before him wanted to be with him. Why should he care? She should have enough consideration to realize that he didn't want to be bothered by her. Why didn't she understand that?
"What if I said I didn't care?"
She gasped, giving him a wide-eyed look. "I know you love me. I've seen you. You used to blush whenever you saw me. That one time I kissed you, you couldn't get your mind off of it for weeks. I know you used to love me!"
The young man gave her a small smile and a laugh, obviously out of pity. She wanted to slap that smile off of his face. "The key words are 'used to.' " He put his glasses back on and looked around the room, not at her. "You're getting attention. They're watching us through the corners of their eyes, I can see it. They want to give you their attention. Isn't that enough? I'm only one person, what do I matter? There's more than one of them and only one of me. Isn't that enough?"
"You're not making any sense," she snapped. She was angry and hurt. How could he be so cold to her?
He stood, looking at everything but her. "There's nothing wrong with me. This is a waste of my time. I want to leave now."
She stood too, not caring that they were gaining the attention of others in the restaurant. They could stare all they wanted, she didn't care. "Is that it, Jeremie? So that's all I am is just a waste of your time?"
He glanced around at the floor, not saying anything. His eyes traveled up, like he wanted to look at her. His eyes didn't quite reach her face, instead seeming to focus more on her neck.
"Yes."
He walked out of the restaurant, slouched over and hands in his pockets, while Aelita merely stood there and watched him leave..
Again with this blasted food. Now it was steak and potatoes. Just like before, his drink was now empty but his food was left untouched. Now he was starting to get a headache. It was probably from lack of food or something. Did people get headaches if they don't eat enough? Or was that when they didn't drink enough? He couldn't remember, his headache was stopping him from doing so.
A high-pitched voice suddenly piercing his annoyed thoughts didn't help matters much at all.
"Hello, Ulrich!" Sissi chirped at one of his friends as she stopped at their table. Why? For the love of sanity, why? Why now? Why ever? Was she actually so stupid that she could only function in the most basic of ways? That seemed to be the case. Despite insult after insult from Ulrich, her apparent lack of brain-meats stopped her from making the smallest of conclusions that maybe, just maybe, Ulrich wasn't in love with her. Was it really that hard for her to figure that out? Was it really? "Why don't you ditch these losers and come hang out with me? You know you want to."
"My GOD!" Jeremie found himself shouting out before Ulrich or Odd could shoot back an insult. It was their job to do so, after all, but he couldn't help himself from cutting in for the first time. Before he even realized it, he was standing up, adrenaline rushing through his veins from the sudden burst of anger. "Seriously, are you that stupid? Do you actually think that insulting his friends will make him want to hang out with you? Scratch that, apparently you're unable to think!"
He lowered his voice mockingly to sound stupider. " 'Adhur! Ulrich your friends suck!' 'Wow, I suddenly want to hang out with you and be your boyfriend! Let's screw like rabbits just like in your sick little fantasies!' " He slammed his fists onto the table, his voice returning to its normal pitch, but becoming louder. "Leave us the hell alone!!"
By this time, Sissi's face was very pale. If this had come from someone like Odd, she would have more than likely tossed back a few insults, but this was Jeremie. Jeremie was nice, he didn't even know how to insult someone for all she knew. She made a small noise, like she wanted to say something, but quickly quieted herself. She pivoted on her heal and took her leave, not saying anything in response.
Jeremie took a few breaths, having run out during his rant. He jerked violently when he felt a tug on his shirt. It was Aelita. She wanted him to sit down. He complied, albeit hesitantly.
"What the heck was that?" Yumi asked.
He rubbed at his temples and shook his head, coming to realization with what he had just done. "I... I'm sorry," he uttered softly. "I think I'm coming down with something. I should probably go see the nurse."
"Well... I must say, that was awesome!" he heard Odd cheer him, obviously not taking the situation seriously, just like any other time. "I didn't know you had it in you, Einstein. We're rubbing off on you, that's for sure."
Jeremie couldn't help but smile a little at this, despite being irritated with him.
"I'll go with you to the nurse," Yumi said, standing up. "You're probably just coming down with a cold and it's messing with your head. It should go away soon enough.
Jeremie's eyes constantly darted around as he walked away from the restaurant, taking quick looks at everything and everything as he passed them. He stumbled a little and instantly glared accusingly at all of those around him. Some caught his gaze and nervously moved themselves further away from him as they passed.
"Jeremie!" he stopped at the sound of Aelita's voice. His head twitched to the side a little, as though indecisive as to whether he wanted to turn or not. He could hear her footsteps catching up to him, but did not look back just yet. "You forgot something," she said as soon as she had reached him.
He turned to her, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. He caught sight of a drink container held up to him and frowned. She gave the container a small shake, causing the water and ice inside to slosh around noisily. This was his drink? He didn't even notice when he had left it behind. He reached up and took it, the confused look not leaving his face. It was when a hand connected harshly with his cheek, snapping his head to the side, that his expression changed to that of surprise.
"Don't ever say I'm a waste of your time again," she said sternly. He turned his head back to her, seeing the vigor in her emerald eyes. "Because I'm not. I'll continue to 'persist' until I get my answer. And you know exactly why it's you that I'm 'bothering.' I just told you back there; I love you. You being one out of many doesn't mean a thing to me. I'm going to help you whether you like it or not, whether you think you need help or not."
She grabbed a hold of his free hand and started to walk. He allowed himself to be lead, but his stare was cold. Their walk was silent and they barely acknowledged each other's presence, the only change in that being when he stopped to toss his untouched drink in a trash bin. It was when they reached the school that Jeremie suddenly wrenched his hand out of hers. She turned to look at him in surprise. "What are you-"
"I am not some little, helpless child," he growled. "I don't need someone to hold my hand and tell me what to do. I'm very capable of making decisions for myself and I cannot figure out why you have yet to realize that."
Aelita shook her head. "Jeremie, you're not yourself. You've deteriorated into this angry, pitiful little man and I can't stand watching this continue. I only want to help you, but you-"
"You don't want to help me, you want to help yourself," he scoffed, crossing his arms. "You say you love me. I once would've more than likely reacted in a positive way and returned your feelings, but I'm not now. You hate that and you want to force me to be someone I no longer am. Besides, why bother with high school love, huh? It never lasts. There is nothing wrong with me, I've just grown up."
"There's no way someone could become so bitter in such a short amount of time," the girl insisted, her eyes beginning to water from the sting of his words.
He began to pace before her and her eyes narrowed as she merely watched. "I'm not bitter, I'm just busy."
"You never used to be so busy as to forsake your friends. What's so important that you've had to isolate yourself, hmm? We've already beaten XANA, what could possibly be more important than your own life!?" Tears now flowed freely from her eyes, but she paid them no head. Jeremie looked over at her and noticed the tears. He approached her but she stepped back automatically, immediately regretting it. He hesitated for a moment, a thoughtful look on his face. He grabbed her shoulders, causing her to gasp. Her mild surprise was short-lived, to be replaced by utter shock when Jeremie pressed his lips against hers.
Her eyes were wide, but only for a second. They quickly closed as she enjoyed the kiss, unexpected though it was. She brought her hands up to the back of his neck and pushed, making it much more passionate. This was it. She could feel spikes of electricity running up and down her spine as she repeatedly told herself this was really happening. It seemed to last an eternity, yet it was all too soon when he finally pulled himself away from her. Despite this, she was still feeling the kiss and couldn't bring herself to open her eyes right away. It was after Jeremie let go of her shoulders that she dreamily opened them
"You..." she whispered, hope welling within her chest. "You..."
"There you go, are you happy?"
"I... what?"
"That was a stupid question, you look elated. I'm going now," Jeremie said bluntly and turned to leave.
"Wha-Wait!" Aelita grabbed a hold of his arm.
Jeremie sighed harshly and looked back at her. "What now?"
"What now? What do you mean 'what now?' You just kissed me!"
At this, he turned completely to her. She let go of his arm and he put his hands together, fingers spread. He leaned down closer to her face, as though addressing a child. "Yes. I kissed you. You wanted me to kiss you. I gave you something you wanted. Now I want something from you in return. I want your ignorance. Ignore me like I want you to. Give me what I want, please."
"You... You can't just... You asshole!" she slapped him hard. Like before, his head snapped harshly to the side, but instead of a look of surprise on his face there was an amused smile. He turned again and walked away. This time, Aelita did not stop him. She merely glared at him as tears spilled over her cheeks and fell to the cold dirt. "God, I hate you, Jeremie. Why are you so... so..." Her voice cracked and she turned away.
Jeremie heard this as he continued to walk. Hate? Contradictory to her earlier statements, but this might be good. She may leave him alone now. Briefly he recalled a famous quote. "There's a fine line between love and hate," he muttered out loud without even realizing it. He made his way to his room to enjoy the rest of the day in solitude.
The battle has only just begun.
A/N: Wow, been a while, eh? This is a one-shot, so I WON'T be continuing it. Why do I always end up writing angst?