I don't know why, but I just felt like writing some angsty Codiase. *shrugs*
WARNING: Slash, swearing, and mentions of rape. So, it's rated a strong "T".
Disclaimer: *sarcastically* I totally own WWE... That's why I'm writing fanfiction for it instead of firing Kelly Kelly and writing storylines! (LOL)
Pairings: Codiase and Candy.
Ted DiBiase Jr's POV
I clench my teeth. I don't say a word- I'm too afraid.
Randy always has his arm around you, like you're in his possession, like you belong to him. His eyes are always cold, daring me to take you from him, but I can tell by his smirk that he knows I wouldn't dare. Everything is about being the dominant species with him- everything is like a food chain.
And of course, in his head, he's the king of the jungle. And he's always daring me to challenge him, because he knows that I know the sick things he does to you. It's almost like every time he puts his arm around you, he's saying: I dare you, Ted. Try to take Cody from me. Try to take what's mine and see what happens...
I never dare.
I think Legacy scarred me. Since that stupid group, it's like I cant defy him at all anymore. He branded me, he twisted my mind, so that I would be loyal... and now, years after Legacy is done, I'm so loyal that I let him have you. You, the only man I've ever loved.
I'm so fucking sorry, Cody. If I could rewrite history, if I could go back and save you, I would do it in a heartbeat... I should have told you I loved you before Legacy, before you fell hopelessly in love with him. I should have saved you. You should have ended up with me, not with Randy...
But none of that happened.
And you lie to me, you tell me that it's all okay. You tell me he doesn't hurt you. You say the lies that everyone believes, everyone but me- I got this black eye in a match. This scar came from when I tripped. The bruises on my neck are from being chokeslammed.
I know the truth, Cody. He hits you. He screams at you. He rapes you.
And I let him do it.
I'm too scared of him, too loyal to him, to tell someone. I'm too scared to save you. And it kills me inside, because I know for a fact that it's all my fault. If I weren't such a coward, you'd be in my arms right now. You'd be safe.
You try to tell me it's okay, it's not my fault, you make your own choices... I hate to belittle you, sweetheart, but you don't. It's not that you're stupid, because you're not, but... you tend to fall in love too easily. And when you fall in love, good God, you fall hard. And you would do anything for the person you're with. And that means that you're exactly Randy's type- someone he can turn into a push-over. Someone he can control.
I should have saved you.
Every time you two come near me, I feel like I'm going to fucking burst into tears. You love Randy, and you show it off in public.
You don't love me.
You did, I remember. We were 15, and you turned to me and kissed me. You didn't say anything before you did it, you just dove in without preamble. All I wanted was to kiss you back, but instead, I pushed you away and stared at you. I don't know if I was afraid, or if I was just in denial...
"I'm not queer, Cody."
You blushed like crazy and apologized, begging me to still be your friend. I said, "It's cool, man. Just... don't do that again. Okay?" You nodded, agreeing.
I kick myself thinking about that day. Destiny gave me a choice, a decision to make: be with Cody, or don't. I picked the wrong answer, I followed fear instead of following my heart. And now, I have to live with knowing that because of my stupid decision, because of my stupid cowardice, you get beaten. Because of me, Randy rapes you.
I'm sorry, Cody. I'm sorry that I'm a coward, I'm sorry that I can't help you. That I can never be your hero. I'll hate myself for the rest of my life...
Reviews would be appreciated. :)
