A/N: This one's been stewing for a while, and I've finally gotten around to writing it. Although, I admit, it turned out a little differently than I'd imagined. It transformed as I was writing it, but for the better I hope.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Suite Life or any of the characters from that show. I just felt like turning them into puppets for a bit, watch me make them dance!
Additional Note: I figure that Janice and Jessica are around 17 years old. They were with that modeling agency showed in 'Model Behavior' for a year, but were picked up by a larger and more successful agency (one not run by the devil that is Cindy, but could perhaps be owned by Tipton Industries) after leaving Cindy's tutelage. Also, this story will eventually contain a femslash relationship, you have been warned.
*****'*****
GRITS AND GLAMOUR
Jessica had been agonizing over this for weeks. Well, more like months…okay, years. She'd been freaking out about this for years but now…now she's finally mustered up the courage to tell the truth. She'd been keeping this to herself for four long, agonizing, terrifying years. Years where she'd been lying to her sister, hiding things, trying to make sure the secret never got out by destroying any evidence and being very careful about what they did together.
But now was the time for all that to change. Jessica couldn't take the strain of deception any longer. If she didn't tell Janice what was going on she'd just explode!
It had been a hard decision to make, finally letting go of this secret. She didn't know how Janice was going to take the news. For all that they're twins and more deeply connected than average siblings, they're certainly not mind readers and it was quite difficult for Jessica to predict how her twin would react. And this is such big news, but Jessica had been so discrete about it that she was fairly certain Janice wouldn't have a clue. But knowing that Janice had no idea only made things worse, it made things uncertain, and it scared Jessica badly. She didn't want to lose Janice, her sister, her best friend. But she had to get it out, no matter the consequences.
She'd decided two weeks ago that it was finally time to come clean. That was easier said than done, naturally. She'd debated when the best time to do it was. She'd been fighting with herself all those years to finally get to this point that now the moment of truth was upon her she had no idea what to say. So she planned a speech and scrapped it. She wrote another one and threw that out, too.
Over and over again she tried to write it out, or even say it out loud just once, and over and over again she met with failure. The words just wouldn't come. Every time she tried to speak a part of the elegant address she'd painstakingly prepared a lump formed in her throat, or her tongue tied itself in knots, or her brain just spontaneously forgot all the pretty words. Silence plagued her every moment.
Finally she wrote a piece that came directly from her heart, one that said everything she needed to say as simply and genuinely as possible. She took her sister out for a day on the town, enjoying sights and shopping and local cuisine until finally taking her back to the apartment they shared with their parents, sitting her down on the couch, and finally saying what she needed to say. Except the words, the beautiful phrases, the heartfelt speeches, the straightforward truths…died in her throat.
She just stared at her sister, mouth gaping and brain stalling, full to bursting of all the tension these last four years had built within her and completely unable to express herself. Coming so far, so close, and not being able to meet her ultimate goal stretched her soul just a tad too far and she snapped.
She broke down completely.
There was no stopping the flood of tears. No soothing the wrenching sobs. No calming the hysterical teen. Though Janice tried she could get no sense out of her wailing sister, so she rubbed her back and muttered comforting nonsense and waited for the storm to pass.
Finally, Jessica seemed to have cried herself out and Janice was ready to get to the bottom of this.
"What was that all about, Jess?"
Jessica, at the end of her rope and exhausted, decided to abandon all her previous plans and just laid everything out in plain words, "I've been so afraid to tell you this, Jan. I've been lying to you, to everyone, for years and I just can't do it anymore. It's destroying me. So, whatever you might think, whatever might happen, I need to tell the truth and I need to tell you first because you're the most important person in my life and I love you and you deserve to know." Jessica took a deep breath and looked her twin directly in the eyes, "Janice, I'm gay."
Janice waited for a moment with a quizzical expression on her face, "Is that what had you so worked up? Don't be silly! Of course you're gay! I've known that for absolutely ages!" Janice laughed, "I was afraid it was something serious. Don't scare me like that!"
Jessica was stunned, she spluttered, "Wha-what? You knew? How? Why didn't you ever say anything?"
"Jess, there's only so many times you can stare at Selena Gomez on the telly before I figure out something's going on. Besides, you always look at those Victoria's Secret catalogues for such a long time, but it's clearly not the knickers you're interested in because you've yet to buy a set from there. Honestly." Janice rolled her eyes at her sister and then, compelled to honesty herself, added, "Well, that and I may have read your diary when we were fifteen and seen all those entries about your crush on that cheerleader. But Jess, it was ever so obvious! I didn't suppose I had to say anything. I thought you knew that I knew, and then I found a letter by the waste basket last week and knew you didn't know I knew but thought you'd tell me yourself eventually and you have! And I'm ever so happy for you, Jess."
"You are?" Jess asked softly, "Really?"
"Really really!" Janice replied emphatically, "Jess, how could I not be? You're my sister, and I love you. No matter what."
"Oh, Jan!" Jessica threw herself at her sister and they hugged tightly for a long moment.
When they separated Janice grinned at her twin, "Now then, shall I help you find some girls? I know quite a few who-"
"What? No! I don't need any help," Jessica said indignantly, "besides, there's already someone I-" She cut herself off hoping Janice wouldn't pursue that.
But Janice's interest was piqued, "Oh? Someone you…? You've already got a lady in mind! Tell me, who is she? Do I know her? Is she pretty? Is she famous? Have we worked with her?"
"Slow down, slow down," Jessica laughed as she raised her hands to fend off her sister's torrent of questions. "Yes, I've someone I like rather a lot. You do know her. She's absolutely gorgeous. No, she's not famous and we've never worked with her, but she could be famous someday if she wanted to be."
"Tell me. Everything." Janice demanded, "Who is she?"
"Well, you remember last year when we were aboard the S.S. Tipton?" Jessica asked, scooting closer to her sister and lowering her voice conspiratorially.
"Of course," Janice replied, huddling closer, "When we created Woodlander and Zack was there and hunkier than ever. You met her on the ship?" A sudden thought struck Janice, "Don't tell me it was London? Or one of the models, they were quite shallow."
"No, I told you, she isn't famous. London is already famous and those girls were so not my type. I like them a bit smarter than that."
"Well, there was that Addison girl," Janice mused. "She was a bit thin but seemed scrappy, and certainly full of energy. You know, I watched her arm wrestle everyone on the lido deck before that party Zack threw. She made a lifeguard cry."
"It wasn't her," Jessica shook her head, suddenly relieved she hadn't encountered Addison for more than a brief introduction.
"Well, then tell me!" Janice prodded her sister, "Don't keep me in suspense!"
"It was Cody's girlfriend, Bailey," Jessica quietly admitted with a gentle smile.
Janice looked confused, "The one you were fighting with the whole time?"
Jessica rolled her eyes, "We weren't fighting at all. That was all in Cody's head…except for that last one where we pretended to fight just to shut him up. Bailey and I actually hit it off splendidly. She was so sweet, and nice, and smart. And absolutely adorable! Like a puppy you just wanted to cuddle. Oh, you should have heard her giggle. She was ever so enchanting. We had such a nice time together." Jessica emitted a dreamy sigh and smiled, "We were instant friends."
Janice smiled to see her sister so smitten, "So, did anything more than friendly happen?"
"Oh, no! No," Jessica reared back a bit, "Of course not! She was with Cody and I would never do something like that to him. Besides, I doubt she even knew I was interested in her that way."
Not liking the slump Jessica's shoulders had taken when she finished speaking Janice decided something had to be done, "She wasn't available then. You know, I've been talking with Zack quite a bit since then, he tells me Bailey and Cody broke up a little over a month after we left the ship."
"Yes," Jessica replied, "I knew that. Bailey called me shortly after it happened. She had to return home to her family's farm so they split up. She said he started dating some blonde the next week. So far she hasn't dated anyone, she says the boys in her hometown all think too small and she wants to be more than a farmer's wife."
"I see," Janice said, "and you still like her?"
Jessica smiled wistfully, "Very much so."
"Alright," Janice marshaled her thoughts, "What I'm hearing is that the girl you like is completely single and has been for quite some time. The two of you have chatted regularly for the last year and you're still quite taken with her. Correct?"
"Yes," Jessica said slowly, "What of it?"
Janice looked at her sister with an expression that clearly said 'duh! You can't be this foolish!' "What of it? For pity's sake, Jessica, think for a moment. The girl you like, and have liked for over a year, is single. She's available. She wants more than the small town life. You're single, you're available, and you live more than the small town life! What are you doing here when you could be out there wooing her?" Janice finished with a dramatic hand gesture towards the open window and flopped ungracefully back into the couch cushions.
"I," Jessica was caught entirely by surprise, "I have no idea. It never even occurred to me…"
Janice sat up and slung her right arm around her twin's shoulders, "Of course it didn't. You may be the smart twin but when it comes to romance you're a bit flat footed." Jessica nudged her sister but didn't protest. "No matter, Jess, that's what I'm for."
Jessica laughed, "And what do you propose I do, oh wise one?"
Janice stood and began pacing, back and forth, with a pensive look on her face. As she continued to move her expression brightened until she stopped and stared at her sister with a fierce grin, "I've got it! Oh, have I got it. We just need you to get near her, right? Well, no problem. I have the perfect idea." Janice shot off up the stairs leaving her sister confused on the couch and suddenly quite worried.
"Jan?" Jessica called, "Janice, what are you thinking? What are you going to do?"
Janice popped her head around the top of the staircase and winked at Jessica, "Fear not, Jess. I've got it all planned out. It's absolutely brilliant! Marvelous! Ha!" She disappeared again.
Jessica wondered what monster she'd just unleashed upon her love life and thought about fretting over Janice's plans, but decided she'd just be relieved she had finally admitted her feelings and her world hadn't ended.
*****'*****
THE END of Part 1
A/N: I'm evil. I know. I have more in mind (though I hadn't intended this to be a lead-in) but it's still in its infancy. Please review. Let me know if you're interested in seeing how it all turns out.