The red glow of the setting sun filtered through the window and outlined a figure wracked with sobs, giving the scene a very dramatic effect. The boy held his knees to his chest and had buried his face in them – hiding his crying eyes.
/Baka/ he thought, choking back another sob. /Boys don't cry…/
The harder he tried to stop the tears though, the quicker they came – each more packed with emotion than the one before.
Liquid, violet eyes peeked from their sanctuary and saw a uni-banged pilot with worried, green orbs cradling a blonde boy whose lapis pools quivered with empathy. Even the sloe-eyed boy who stood by the door looked sympathetic.
"Ah, man," he complained at the sight of his concerned audience, retreating to his lap and turning sharply so his back was to the crowd – making his chestnut braid float momentarily on an invisible breeze.
Quatre sniffled and dipped out of his koi's embrace. He turned to the two boys and shooed them out of the room, closing the door behind them. He soundlessly walked over to the weeping boy and rubbed the tension from the American's back.
"Relax Duo," Quatre's soft alto cooed. "Come here and tell little, old Quatre your problems." Duo lifted his head and looked at the blonde boy with eyes that said more than he was prepared for.
"Oh Duo," Quatre sighed, reading all the pain in those violet eyes. "Come here." Duo shifted and cried into the Arabian's chest. Quatre continued to rub his back until the sobs subsided.
/Ja, that's my silk shirt ruined/ the blonde absently thought when Duo finally sat up and he was able to survey the damage of the boy's tears.
"Tell me" was all he had to say. The Shinigami pilot turned his wet, violet eyes on him and the blonde shivered.
"Ja~aaaa – I don't know why I did it but I – I…" Duo paused and took a slow, quivering breath. Quatre reached up and rubbed his shoulders once more.
"Take your time."
Duo smiled and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.
"Arigatou, Quatre-man," he murmured, took a few deep breaths and started his story. A stream of memories came flooding from the braided youth's mouth.
Several breaths later – Quatre learned of secret meetings at the movie theatre in the second balcony; of their countless visits to central park; of walks they took together to watch the sunset and more.
"Duo," Quatre said soothingly. "It sounds like you two were really close friends."
"We were!"
"So – why the tears?"
Duo turned his back once more on Quatre and muttered something under his breath.
"Nani?"
"I said…I fell in love with him and told him and he hit me and left," he spit out rather quickly, voice shrill and hoarse. A horrified look crawled across the Arabian's lapis eyes and he opened his mouth to say something. One look at the bruise forming on the boy's left cheekbone confirmed his silent question and he held the American as he cried again.
"It's okay," Quatre cooed, rocking him gently. "Just wash it all out. Don't worry – I won't leave you alone tonight." After a while, Duo's sobs turned to soft snores and Quatre placed him on the sofa with a blanket.
"Poor Duo," he breathed as he propped himself against the side of the sofa, trying to find a comfy spot on the floor. "His heart trampled by a beast who can't see that the love confessed is mutual…"
****
Duo ran, but it was hopeless. Everywhere he turned there was a mirror – similar to a house of mirrors at a carnival.
/Hmmmm – looks like a dead end/ he thought and turned.
"Matte! I thought I came in that way," he shouted. He turned in a circle and figured he was trapped. Finally – after thoroughly making himself dizzy – he slid down the side of a mirror to the floor. Cold fingers brushed his cheek and he looked up into an icy, cobalt stare.
"Oh, it's just you," he said, startled at the boy's sudden appearance. "You scared me, man." A smirk – that looked more like a grimace on acid – formed unnaturally on the boy's lips, causing Duo to shiver.
"I'll be taking this," he said flatly and reached towards the American's black shirt. Cold fingers dipped into Duo's chest and he watched with horror-struck, violet eyes as the boy pulled out his still beating heart and held it on display for all the reflected Duos to see.
"Is that my…how did you…without even making a hole," Duo stammered. The dark haired boy glared at Duo, eyes flickering to the braided boy's chest before returning to glare at the violet-eyed youth.
Duo took the hint and looked down. His eyes widened in shock when he saw the gaping hole oozing blood. He stood abruptly and noticed a thick fog curling seductively around his thighs. The boy continued to glare at him.
"How could you?" Duo asked, voice harsh. "What did I ever do to you?"
"You fell in love with me," the boy said flatly, pulling a gun from somewhere in the depths of his spandex shorts. Duo's eyes widened at the sight and he quickly wiped away the little trickle of blood that made its way from his nose.
"Is that – is that for me," he choked. The boy snorted and aimed it at the beating heart in his bloody hand.
"HA!" the evil laugh escaped his throat like a prisoner running for freedom. "And waste a precious bullet on you?" The braided youth winced at the cruel words.
"If I'm standing here then…whose is that?" he asked, not thinking before he spoke…as usual.
"Why, I do believe it's yours," the boy answered in a sickeningly sweet way. "I stole your heart – remember?"
"Oh yeah," Duo muttered, rewinding to the memory that had temporarily fled. "So, how am I still alive and talking to you if you've got my heart?"
"You're not. You're dead."
The fog instantaneously lifted – as if on cue – and Duo gasped when he saw his body lying there, bleeding from the same gigantic hole in its chest.
"I don't believe it…"
"Look for yourself," the boy offered, waving his gun-toting hand at the mirrors. Duo looked in all of them twice before giving in. Each one reflected a dead Duo on his back – looking vulnerable even in death.
Hot tears stung his violet eyes and he turned to give an equally malicious glare to the dark haired boy before him.
"You ready?" the boy asked.
"Ready for what?" Duo grumbled, never taking his eyes off the boy.
"To watch your heart die," the boy retorted. The sound of a gun going off echoed dully in the back of Duo's mind as he watched – in slow motion – the bullet leave its chamber, enter his heart and exit through the boy's palm.
Duo dropped to his knees and clutched at the ever-bleeding opening in his chest. Only now did he realize how much blood he had lost as he kneeled in a big, crimson puddle. He dropped further and caught himself with his other hand. Slowly he fell all the way to the floor and closed his eyes.
A foot in his side brought violet eyes open seconds later. The boy rolled him onto his back and smirked, evilly, at the American, still clutching the now-still heart. Duo absently noted that the puddle he was dying in was warm.
"Naze?" Duo barely got out as the boy disappeared through a mirror. "Naze? Why'd you hafta go and kill my heart, man…ai shiteru." Duo looked once more at the mirror the boy left through and with his last breath uttered the boy's name.
"Heero" drifted across the breeze that fluttered the tip of the youth's braid as the life drained from his violet eyes, his mouth still forming the name of the boy who stole his heart.
****
"-o!"
Everything was silent. The blood was still eerily warm as it swirled around him, but something was ringing through his mind, bouncing off the mirrors.
"-uo!"
/What the hell is that/ he thought as the mirrored horror he'd been trapped in faded to nothing.
"Duo – wake up!"
His lids flew open, revealing trembling, violet eyes. Quatre kneeled next to him, worry rippling across his face. Duo sat up and placed his forehead in one palm while the other hand flung itself to his chest.
"Duo – daijoubu desu ka?" Quatre's alto asked shakily. "You were whimpering in your sleep and then – and then it stopped. You got so quiet and didn't move. I couldn't even tell if you were breathing…"
"Quatre-man," the American comforted his comrade. "Daijobou. I just had a nightmare, that's all." He placed a reassuring hand on the blonde's shoulder, slowly telling himself 'it was only a dream' in his mind. The Arabian sighed with relief and took Duo's hands in his own.
"I have a question – but you don't have to answer if it's too painful."
Duo smiled at the Sandrock pilot and uttered: "ask away."
"Was it fun?" Quatre asked, realized what he said and blushed a little. "I mean…yeah. Did you have fun together?" The happy look on the Shinigami pilot's face faltered and he walked to the bench seat below the window where the emotion was overwhelming and tears where still fresh.
/He looks like a lost angel with the moon shining on him like that/ Quatre thought and sat across from the braided boy.
"Hai, we had a lot of fun together," Duo sighed, staring at the moon.
"Would you take it back if you could?" Quatre asked quietly.
"Iie. Not in a million years," he answered, playing with his braid. "It was the most fun I've had in all my years of existence." Quatre's sad look softened at the smile on the violet-eyed boy's face.
"I have an idea," the blonde sighed, meeting Duo's confused, violet gaze.
"I'm lost," he chuckled. "Idea for what, Quatre-man?"
"Ja~aaa – you want to at least thank him for all the fun times, ne?"
"I guess," Duo said thoughtfully.
"You know," Quatre said more assertively this time. "Thank him while bringing up old memories…"
"I have a plan!" Duo said jumping to his feet, a light bulb burning brightly in his mind.
"Pray tell…"
"Alright, this is what you've gotta do to help me…"
****
Heero Yuy, Login Access Code: 796601
E-mail Letter 1:
From 796602, Duo Maxwell
RE: IMPORTANT!
Heero sighed and after thinking a while, decided to read the boy's message instead of just deleting it.
Ne, Heero –
I'd like to talk to you one last time before a mission comes up or anything important like that. Meet me at the gazebo in the center of Central Park, next to the duck pond.
Duo
Heero hastily deleted the message and stood, unsure of what to do. The last dying rays of the setting sun glinted off the mirror across the room and caught his attention.
//Look at you – a boy looking for the love and comfort you never had and when it comes in a braided, violet-eyed package – you shove it away//
/I'm a soldier. Emotions equal weakness, especially love/
Heero's sad look hardened once again.
//Would you give it up already?!?// the lost boy inside him – the lover – screamed. //Look at you-//
Heero turned to really look at himself.
//What do you see?//
"A boy – iie, a perfect soldier with unruly dark hair and cobalt eyes," he replied flatly. The lover in him sighed.
"Wearing a green tank top, spandex shorts and sneakers…naze?"
/I am a perfect soldier and I won't let you interfere/ the soldier in him – who was much bigger and stronger than the lover – said forcefully.
//Would you at least go and hear what the boy has to say…kudasai?// the lover begged. The soldier blinked and scowled at the weakling pleading beside him. Heero took another look in the mirror, grabbed his jacket and left for the park. The lover smirked at the soldier as they went.
"The gazebo by the duck pond, ne?" he thought out loud. "That's a good ten minute walk from here."
Twigs and leaves and small branches crunched under his footfalls, alerting anyone of his presence. When he reached the clearing by the pond, he checked his watch.
"8:27pm" he said absently and looked at the dark gazebo that stood across the open field. "I wonder how long he's been waiting…" The Wing pilot whirled around when he heard a 'click'.
/Nothing/ he thought, turning back. /Just being overly cautious, that's all/ He stopped when he looked back at the gazebo – which was now illuminated by thousands of white Christmas lights. The band that occupied it started to play something Heero didn't recognize. He walked a little closer and stopped again when he noticed someone on the stage, its back turned to him.
Duo took a deep breath and turned to face the love of his life.
Quatre, Trowa and Wufei watched from the shadows off to the side of the whole scene.
"Kentou," Trowa said under his breath. A beaming smile settled itself comfortably on the Arabian's peach lips. Even Wufei looked anxious to find out the aftermath.
/Kudasai, let everything go right/ Duo inwardly pleaded, nervously fidgeting with his shirt. His usual tight, black jeans were replaced with loose fitting, black slacks and a white shirt hung off his shoulders, falling open just enough to expose his chest. Its sleeves billowed ridiculously in the breeze.
The braided boy glanced at Quatre, who flashed him two thumbs up, and all his previous nervousness vanished. He gave the conductor the signal and the song changed to something slow but upbeat and catchy. Duo turned to face Heero, who looked ill-amused, and started his brilliant plan.
"Danke schoen," he sang timidly, a little nervous. "Darling, danke schoen. Thank you for all the joy and pain." Heero folded his arms and glared at the baka who was making a bigger fool of himself, if that was humanly possible.
"Picture show – second balcony," he sang his heart out. "Was the place we meet, second seat, go Dutch treat, you were sweet."
Heero flashed back to countless meetings at the movie theatre. A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth when he thought more about it. They would sit in the second balcony and talk throughout the movie, throwing popcorn during really cheesy scenes and getting quiet when mushy stuff appeared on the screen. They would sneak into the theatre and Duo's ridiculous braid would often get stuck on something either on the way in or out, resulting in a slew of curses from the American's mouth that almost got them caught a couple times.
'We're just friends' is what he told himself then, because he felt that he needed to reassure himself that that's all it was he was feeling.
"Danke schoen, darling, danke schoen. Save those lies, darling, don't explain. I recall central park and fall – how you tore your dress, what a mess, I confess – that's not all."
The small smile now pulled at both corners when memories of their escapades to Central Park flashed before him. One time stood out in particular: they'd been walking on the ledge around the fountain when Heero slipped and fell, ripping his green tank in the process. Duo took his black over-shirt off and gave it to the Japanese boy. Heero took it and playfully pushed the braided youth into the fountain. Duo grabbed his dark haired comrade at the last instant and took him down as well. A large water fight ensued.
'We're good friends' was his excuse at that time.
"Danke schoen, darling, danke schoen," Duo huskily sang, really getting into the song. "Thank you for walks down Lover's Lane. I can see hearts carved on a tree. Let us intertwine, for all time – yours and mine, that was fine."
A slight blush crept up his cheeks and a softness replaced the hard glaze of his cobalt eyes. Lover's Lane lead to Lover's Peak, which was notorious as the best spot to watch the sunset…among other things. Duo used to drag him out to Lover's Peak and the two would chat – erm, Duo would chat and Heero would listen – and watch the sun go down. One time Heero caught the braided pilot – red handed – carving their initials in the trunk of a tree. When asked what he was doing, he replied that this sealed their friendship. Now they were friends forever. The next day Heero inwardly chuckled when Duo's jaw dropped at the two hearts carved around their initials.
'We're really close, that's all' the Wing pilot would reassure himself from time to time.
"Danke schoen, darling, danke schoen. Thank you for seeing me again. Though we go on our separate ways – still the memory stays, for always. My heart says: danke schoen."
Heero's slight smile faltered when he realized why he was called out here and why Duo was singing to him.
/He's trying to bring up old memories and make me feel bad/ he thought, looking up at the movement that caught his eye.
//I wonder if he knows it's working…// the lover said quietly. Quatre, Trowa and Wufei stood off to the side of the gazebo, moving to the music that brought the words Duo sang to life. He focused his attention on the braided boy once more and shifted, a bit uncomfortably this time due to the audience they now had.
"Danke schoen, ohh darling, danke schoen," Duo sang out the climax, totally into the song. He put all his emotions and pent up feelings about Heero into the lyrics and they seemed to float through the air with an electric current.
"I said thank you for – mmmmm, seeing me again. Though we go on our separate ways, still the memory stays, for always. My heart says: danke schoen."
Heero didn't know what to think. The first time the Shinigami pilot poured his heart and soul out to him, he was confused and let the soldier in him handle it. Now he didn't know what to do. Something inside him was stirring – some powerful force that had been asleep for years and years – was now waking deep inside him. The words Duo sang to him touched him like nothing ever had and he realized, for the first time, that he'd run out of excuses. Sure they were friends, but what Heero now felt for the boy was something more powerful. Something stronger than before. There was only one explanation –
"Danke schoen."
– he was in love.
"I'll be the same," Duo finished softly. "Danke schoen." The violet-eyed youth placed the microphone back and bowed for his friends.
Quatre clapped and yelled "Bravo!" repeatedly.
Trowa smiled brightly and hailed the boy with applause.
Wufei had the tips of his thumb and forefinger in his mouth and whistled loudly, yelling "Encore!" between each shrill blast.
Heero didn't move. The wheels in his mind were turning as his heart fought for control.
Duo bowed once again for his comrades but as he straightened himself, his smile faltered and the happy look in his eyes vanished. He stood and stared across the field.
Trowa and Wufei didn't seem to notice because they kept applauding Duo and the band. Quatre noticed though and stopped – looking at Duo, then at Heero, and finally back at Duo.
"Oh no," he breathed, worry crossing his lapis pools as he watched Duo jump off the stage and slowly walk over to the Japanese boy. This action, however, caught Trowa and Wufei's attention and they all watched, anxiously, as the two boys met.
****
Duo offered a weak smile that didn't touch his eyes. Heero stared into those violet orbs. There was a glint of something in them that captured him, held him.
//It's hunger, baka// the lover's voice echoed from down deep. //Don't you know the look of need when you see it?// He peeled his eyes from Duo's with much force and stared at his feet.
/He's not wearing any shoes/ he thought. /That baka's not wearing any shoes!/
//No wonder he looks cold// the lover said, his voice sounding more powerful than before.
"I see you got my message," Duo muttered and Heero noticed he kept curling and uncurling his toes.
"Hn," he grunted in reply and glanced up, seeing the hurt in the boy's eyes and, again, he almost drowned in those violet pools, aware of the Shinigami pilot's needs this time.
He needed Heero and Heero needed him.
"Look – it's getting late and this shirt is doing nothing to keep the cold out," Duo said flatly, flinging his cheerful mask aside and – for the second time in his life – showing his true feelings. "I just wanted to say arigatou." This caught the dark haired boy off guard and he shot quizzical pools of cobalt at the braided youth.
"For what?"
"All the fun we had together, mou man…didn't you listen to the lyrics…"
"Hai – and I've listened to everything you've ever said to me," Heero sighed under his breath.
"Nani? Would you repeat that, I missed it."
Heero turned his back on his fellow pilot, unsure of the new feelings coursing through him.
"You should go home before you catch cold," he uttered stonily over his shoulder. "You'll be worthless if you're sick and a mission comes up." With that he left the way he came.
Duo's jaw dropped and he fell to his knees, his slacks sucking dry the moist grass beneath him. Quatre ran to his side and tried to comfort the boy as he cried but was thrown off as Duo flung his head back and screamed "IIEEEEEEE!!!"
****
Heero winced as the boy's cry echoed through the trees at the park's edge, causing a single, solitary tear to slide down his face. Inside, his heart was raging.
He had stopped walking halfway through the thicket of trees and decided to climb one to watch the moon and think.
The scuffling of shoes and sniffling of noses caught his attention and he looked below him at the solemn group of pilots.
"Wufei," Trowa said urgently. "Would you take Duo back and try to get him to sleep. Quatre and I will meet you there." Wufei nodded, took the sobbing pilot and headed for home.
Once out of earshot, Trowa turned to Quatre and growled "who does he think he is? Trampling on Duo's heart like that – he knew he loved him and he still did it!"
"Schhh, schhh," Quatre shushed, trying to keep his outburst under check. "Heero considers himself the perfect soldier. Emotions are dangerous to him -"
"But that gave him no right to treat Duo the way he did! Back there, Duo poured his heart out in that song and he just turned and walked away. I'm surprised he didn't try to swing at him or something stupid like th-"
Trowa stopped short at the look on Quatre's face.
"He didn't."
Quatre opened his mouth then closed it and nodded. Trowa's eyes shrunk to green slits and Heero expected to see smoke stream from the boy's ears.
"Koi," Quatre said softly, placing a hand on the pilot's shoulder. "I used some of my sister's makeup to cover the bruise on his cheekbone. You really need to calm down though, and put tonight behind you…Duo needs to deal with -"
"Did he plan this?"
"Hai," the blonde sighed, blushing deeply. "Ja~aaa – sort of. I got the wheels turning but he thought of singing 'Danke Schoen' because it was exactly what he was thinking…or at least that's what he said." Trowa's visible eye softened and he put his arm around the flustered boy's waist.
"Let's go home," he breathed. "We should check on Duo before we go to bed."
Heero watched them leave then stared back at the moon with cobalt eyes that held emotions he couldn't put names to.
"What's happening to me?" he thought out loud and jumped to the ground. "Where to now?"
//Go to him// the lover beckoned, now equally as strong as the soldier. //Go to him now when he needs you the most//
"Ninmu ryoukai."
****
"Ohhh – man," he groaned. "Not this again." Duo stood in the center of a circle of mirrors once more.
Instead of icy, cold fingers on his cheek this time, a warm hand slipped into his. He glanced down then trailed his eyes up the arm attached to that hand till he reached a face, which was very familiar but very different as well.
Heero stood – smiling at him, all the love and affection he could muster dancing wildly in his eyes.
"Pinch me," Duo muttered and yelped when the Japanese youth pinched his arm. "I didn't mean it…"
Worry flickered across his comrade's face and he glomped the arm Duo rubbed.
"Gomen nasai," Heero said apologetically. "I didn't mean to hurt you but – you asked for it. Here, this'll make it feel better." Heero leaned in and kissed the pink spot on the boy's arm.
Duo stood there – jaw to the floor – staring at the strange boy in front of him.
"Yosh – who are you and what did you do with Heero?"
"I'm the side of Heero you never knew," he explained. "Before any of the training they put him through, he was me." He leaned in and closed Duo's gaping mouth before proceeding with a sigh.
"Then Dr. J came into his life and I was pushed aside. They drained my energy and rendered me powerless and a new force took over -"
"The perfect soldier," Duo absently interrupted.
"Hai," the lover replied. "Now I've gained more control then they'd ever expected and am planning on combining with the soldier to make him a real human boy once more." They heard a deranged war cry and an explosion in the distance that rattled the mirrors. The lover grabbed Duo's hand, fear masking everything in his wide cobalt pools.
"What was that?"
"I'll explain later but first I have to get you out of here before 'he' comes and kills your heart again," the boy said quickly and pulled Duo through a mirror with him.
And so the chase went: Heero's true self running for his life with the love of his life, chased by his stubborn war Heero.
****
A dark figure crept in through the window and glided over to the edge of the bed. He looked at the sleeping boy, listening to the occasional whimper that would escape his throat.
"I'm here now," he whispered, letting his feelings take over and leaned in closer. "No more tears." He kissed the slumbering youth's cheek, tasted the salty liquid on his lips and sighed.
/This is all my doing/ he thought. /Why do I have to be so goddamn stubborn!/
Duo whimpered again and rolled towards the boy cast in shadows – the moon shining through the window, illuminating the deep bruise on his cheekbone.
"I did that?" he gasped, not realizing his previous actions. "How could I touch him in anger. What was I angry at him for?"
/Because he scared you/ a voice, which had been quiet for a while, said. /You, we – I saw him as a weakness and thus…he had to be dealt with/
The perfect soldier gave a sigh of relief and the lover danced chibified circles around him.
/Make it quick – before I change my mind/ the soldier grunted, ceasing the lover's merry victory dance. He smiled and melted into the soldier.
Heero closed his eyes as a wave of purification washed over him. Now he was the soldier when he had to be – and himself the rest of the time.
"Duo," he whispered, looking down at the angelic face of his love. He leaned in and pressed a feather light kiss against the boy's lips then went to stand by the window.
Duo's eyes fluttered open as the softness of the touch was replaced with the cool breeze of loneliness. He sat up and looked around before his violet gaze settled on his pilot.
Heero stared at the moon – encased in her silver shadows.
"Duo," he breathed to the dark night, lifting the window and preparing to leave.
/Don't think about it Maxwell/ Duo lectured himself. /You poured your heart out to that boy twice and you got a nice bruise and a bucket of shattered dreams from it/
"I've hit you and don't deserve your forgiveness," he whispered to the swaying trees. "I'm not worthy of the love you have for me. God, I wish I could say this to you when you're not sleeping."
Duo fidgeted with the edge of his blanket. His dry eyes stared longingly at the dark haired boy, silently pleading him to turn and catch him awake.
Heero sighed and jumped out the window leaving "Ai shiteru, Duo" to float on the soft breeze. Duo's eyes widened at the words and – against all the protesting his mind shot at him – he believed them to be true with all of his broken heart.
"Heero!" he shouted and flew off the bed towards the window. Heero turned from his position on the lawn. Duo smiled down at him, his mind finally giving in to his rapidly mending heart.
/God, I'm such a sucker for romance/ he thought and leaned into the chilled night.
"Don't leave me again."
Heero smiled up at Duo.
"Never again," he called, walking to the side of the two-story building where he proceeded to scale the wall. Duo backed away from the window and closed it after the Wing pilot entered.
/This is the boy from my dream/ he thought, looking Heero over. /This is the trapped boy I saw the first time I looked in his eyes/
They stared at each other a moment longer before falling into each other's embrace.
"Yi~eee!" Duo squealed and jumped away from his koi. "You're freezing!" Heero snorted, looked at Duo shivering in his boxers and laughed. The look of shock quickly melted off the Shinigami pilot's face and he smiled.
/This is the boy who smiled at me when I confessed my feelings/ he thought and wiggled over to the bed, where he flopped on his tush. /This smiling boy who was immediately covered before he – hit me…/
The smile on his face faltered and his eyes cast down towards the floor. The Japanese youth saw this and sat next to the half naked boy, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his dark head on the American's shoulder. A genuine smile formed on Duo's brooding lips and he lay down, pulling Heero with him. The two fell asleep in each other's arms.
Duo found peace between heart, mind and soul, and Heero found the key to himself: a baka with violet eyes, a chestnut braid and a smile that could melt even the coldest of hearts.
/Baka/ he thought, choking back another sob. /Boys don't cry…/
The harder he tried to stop the tears though, the quicker they came – each more packed with emotion than the one before.
Liquid, violet eyes peeked from their sanctuary and saw a uni-banged pilot with worried, green orbs cradling a blonde boy whose lapis pools quivered with empathy. Even the sloe-eyed boy who stood by the door looked sympathetic.
"Ah, man," he complained at the sight of his concerned audience, retreating to his lap and turning sharply so his back was to the crowd – making his chestnut braid float momentarily on an invisible breeze.
Quatre sniffled and dipped out of his koi's embrace. He turned to the two boys and shooed them out of the room, closing the door behind them. He soundlessly walked over to the weeping boy and rubbed the tension from the American's back.
"Relax Duo," Quatre's soft alto cooed. "Come here and tell little, old Quatre your problems." Duo lifted his head and looked at the blonde boy with eyes that said more than he was prepared for.
"Oh Duo," Quatre sighed, reading all the pain in those violet eyes. "Come here." Duo shifted and cried into the Arabian's chest. Quatre continued to rub his back until the sobs subsided.
/Ja, that's my silk shirt ruined/ the blonde absently thought when Duo finally sat up and he was able to survey the damage of the boy's tears.
"Tell me" was all he had to say. The Shinigami pilot turned his wet, violet eyes on him and the blonde shivered.
"Ja~aaaa – I don't know why I did it but I – I…" Duo paused and took a slow, quivering breath. Quatre reached up and rubbed his shoulders once more.
"Take your time."
Duo smiled and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.
"Arigatou, Quatre-man," he murmured, took a few deep breaths and started his story. A stream of memories came flooding from the braided youth's mouth.
Several breaths later – Quatre learned of secret meetings at the movie theatre in the second balcony; of their countless visits to central park; of walks they took together to watch the sunset and more.
"Duo," Quatre said soothingly. "It sounds like you two were really close friends."
"We were!"
"So – why the tears?"
Duo turned his back once more on Quatre and muttered something under his breath.
"Nani?"
"I said…I fell in love with him and told him and he hit me and left," he spit out rather quickly, voice shrill and hoarse. A horrified look crawled across the Arabian's lapis eyes and he opened his mouth to say something. One look at the bruise forming on the boy's left cheekbone confirmed his silent question and he held the American as he cried again.
"It's okay," Quatre cooed, rocking him gently. "Just wash it all out. Don't worry – I won't leave you alone tonight." After a while, Duo's sobs turned to soft snores and Quatre placed him on the sofa with a blanket.
"Poor Duo," he breathed as he propped himself against the side of the sofa, trying to find a comfy spot on the floor. "His heart trampled by a beast who can't see that the love confessed is mutual…"
****
Duo ran, but it was hopeless. Everywhere he turned there was a mirror – similar to a house of mirrors at a carnival.
/Hmmmm – looks like a dead end/ he thought and turned.
"Matte! I thought I came in that way," he shouted. He turned in a circle and figured he was trapped. Finally – after thoroughly making himself dizzy – he slid down the side of a mirror to the floor. Cold fingers brushed his cheek and he looked up into an icy, cobalt stare.
"Oh, it's just you," he said, startled at the boy's sudden appearance. "You scared me, man." A smirk – that looked more like a grimace on acid – formed unnaturally on the boy's lips, causing Duo to shiver.
"I'll be taking this," he said flatly and reached towards the American's black shirt. Cold fingers dipped into Duo's chest and he watched with horror-struck, violet eyes as the boy pulled out his still beating heart and held it on display for all the reflected Duos to see.
"Is that my…how did you…without even making a hole," Duo stammered. The dark haired boy glared at Duo, eyes flickering to the braided boy's chest before returning to glare at the violet-eyed youth.
Duo took the hint and looked down. His eyes widened in shock when he saw the gaping hole oozing blood. He stood abruptly and noticed a thick fog curling seductively around his thighs. The boy continued to glare at him.
"How could you?" Duo asked, voice harsh. "What did I ever do to you?"
"You fell in love with me," the boy said flatly, pulling a gun from somewhere in the depths of his spandex shorts. Duo's eyes widened at the sight and he quickly wiped away the little trickle of blood that made its way from his nose.
"Is that – is that for me," he choked. The boy snorted and aimed it at the beating heart in his bloody hand.
"HA!" the evil laugh escaped his throat like a prisoner running for freedom. "And waste a precious bullet on you?" The braided youth winced at the cruel words.
"If I'm standing here then…whose is that?" he asked, not thinking before he spoke…as usual.
"Why, I do believe it's yours," the boy answered in a sickeningly sweet way. "I stole your heart – remember?"
"Oh yeah," Duo muttered, rewinding to the memory that had temporarily fled. "So, how am I still alive and talking to you if you've got my heart?"
"You're not. You're dead."
The fog instantaneously lifted – as if on cue – and Duo gasped when he saw his body lying there, bleeding from the same gigantic hole in its chest.
"I don't believe it…"
"Look for yourself," the boy offered, waving his gun-toting hand at the mirrors. Duo looked in all of them twice before giving in. Each one reflected a dead Duo on his back – looking vulnerable even in death.
Hot tears stung his violet eyes and he turned to give an equally malicious glare to the dark haired boy before him.
"You ready?" the boy asked.
"Ready for what?" Duo grumbled, never taking his eyes off the boy.
"To watch your heart die," the boy retorted. The sound of a gun going off echoed dully in the back of Duo's mind as he watched – in slow motion – the bullet leave its chamber, enter his heart and exit through the boy's palm.
Duo dropped to his knees and clutched at the ever-bleeding opening in his chest. Only now did he realize how much blood he had lost as he kneeled in a big, crimson puddle. He dropped further and caught himself with his other hand. Slowly he fell all the way to the floor and closed his eyes.
A foot in his side brought violet eyes open seconds later. The boy rolled him onto his back and smirked, evilly, at the American, still clutching the now-still heart. Duo absently noted that the puddle he was dying in was warm.
"Naze?" Duo barely got out as the boy disappeared through a mirror. "Naze? Why'd you hafta go and kill my heart, man…ai shiteru." Duo looked once more at the mirror the boy left through and with his last breath uttered the boy's name.
"Heero" drifted across the breeze that fluttered the tip of the youth's braid as the life drained from his violet eyes, his mouth still forming the name of the boy who stole his heart.
****
"-o!"
Everything was silent. The blood was still eerily warm as it swirled around him, but something was ringing through his mind, bouncing off the mirrors.
"-uo!"
/What the hell is that/ he thought as the mirrored horror he'd been trapped in faded to nothing.
"Duo – wake up!"
His lids flew open, revealing trembling, violet eyes. Quatre kneeled next to him, worry rippling across his face. Duo sat up and placed his forehead in one palm while the other hand flung itself to his chest.
"Duo – daijoubu desu ka?" Quatre's alto asked shakily. "You were whimpering in your sleep and then – and then it stopped. You got so quiet and didn't move. I couldn't even tell if you were breathing…"
"Quatre-man," the American comforted his comrade. "Daijobou. I just had a nightmare, that's all." He placed a reassuring hand on the blonde's shoulder, slowly telling himself 'it was only a dream' in his mind. The Arabian sighed with relief and took Duo's hands in his own.
"I have a question – but you don't have to answer if it's too painful."
Duo smiled at the Sandrock pilot and uttered: "ask away."
"Was it fun?" Quatre asked, realized what he said and blushed a little. "I mean…yeah. Did you have fun together?" The happy look on the Shinigami pilot's face faltered and he walked to the bench seat below the window where the emotion was overwhelming and tears where still fresh.
/He looks like a lost angel with the moon shining on him like that/ Quatre thought and sat across from the braided boy.
"Hai, we had a lot of fun together," Duo sighed, staring at the moon.
"Would you take it back if you could?" Quatre asked quietly.
"Iie. Not in a million years," he answered, playing with his braid. "It was the most fun I've had in all my years of existence." Quatre's sad look softened at the smile on the violet-eyed boy's face.
"I have an idea," the blonde sighed, meeting Duo's confused, violet gaze.
"I'm lost," he chuckled. "Idea for what, Quatre-man?"
"Ja~aaa – you want to at least thank him for all the fun times, ne?"
"I guess," Duo said thoughtfully.
"You know," Quatre said more assertively this time. "Thank him while bringing up old memories…"
"I have a plan!" Duo said jumping to his feet, a light bulb burning brightly in his mind.
"Pray tell…"
"Alright, this is what you've gotta do to help me…"
****
Heero Yuy, Login Access Code: 796601
E-mail Letter 1:
From 796602, Duo Maxwell
RE: IMPORTANT!
Heero sighed and after thinking a while, decided to read the boy's message instead of just deleting it.
Ne, Heero –
I'd like to talk to you one last time before a mission comes up or anything important like that. Meet me at the gazebo in the center of Central Park, next to the duck pond.
Duo
Heero hastily deleted the message and stood, unsure of what to do. The last dying rays of the setting sun glinted off the mirror across the room and caught his attention.
//Look at you – a boy looking for the love and comfort you never had and when it comes in a braided, violet-eyed package – you shove it away//
/I'm a soldier. Emotions equal weakness, especially love/
Heero's sad look hardened once again.
//Would you give it up already?!?// the lost boy inside him – the lover – screamed. //Look at you-//
Heero turned to really look at himself.
//What do you see?//
"A boy – iie, a perfect soldier with unruly dark hair and cobalt eyes," he replied flatly. The lover in him sighed.
"Wearing a green tank top, spandex shorts and sneakers…naze?"
/I am a perfect soldier and I won't let you interfere/ the soldier in him – who was much bigger and stronger than the lover – said forcefully.
//Would you at least go and hear what the boy has to say…kudasai?// the lover begged. The soldier blinked and scowled at the weakling pleading beside him. Heero took another look in the mirror, grabbed his jacket and left for the park. The lover smirked at the soldier as they went.
"The gazebo by the duck pond, ne?" he thought out loud. "That's a good ten minute walk from here."
Twigs and leaves and small branches crunched under his footfalls, alerting anyone of his presence. When he reached the clearing by the pond, he checked his watch.
"8:27pm" he said absently and looked at the dark gazebo that stood across the open field. "I wonder how long he's been waiting…" The Wing pilot whirled around when he heard a 'click'.
/Nothing/ he thought, turning back. /Just being overly cautious, that's all/ He stopped when he looked back at the gazebo – which was now illuminated by thousands of white Christmas lights. The band that occupied it started to play something Heero didn't recognize. He walked a little closer and stopped again when he noticed someone on the stage, its back turned to him.
Duo took a deep breath and turned to face the love of his life.
Quatre, Trowa and Wufei watched from the shadows off to the side of the whole scene.
"Kentou," Trowa said under his breath. A beaming smile settled itself comfortably on the Arabian's peach lips. Even Wufei looked anxious to find out the aftermath.
/Kudasai, let everything go right/ Duo inwardly pleaded, nervously fidgeting with his shirt. His usual tight, black jeans were replaced with loose fitting, black slacks and a white shirt hung off his shoulders, falling open just enough to expose his chest. Its sleeves billowed ridiculously in the breeze.
The braided boy glanced at Quatre, who flashed him two thumbs up, and all his previous nervousness vanished. He gave the conductor the signal and the song changed to something slow but upbeat and catchy. Duo turned to face Heero, who looked ill-amused, and started his brilliant plan.
"Danke schoen," he sang timidly, a little nervous. "Darling, danke schoen. Thank you for all the joy and pain." Heero folded his arms and glared at the baka who was making a bigger fool of himself, if that was humanly possible.
"Picture show – second balcony," he sang his heart out. "Was the place we meet, second seat, go Dutch treat, you were sweet."
Heero flashed back to countless meetings at the movie theatre. A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth when he thought more about it. They would sit in the second balcony and talk throughout the movie, throwing popcorn during really cheesy scenes and getting quiet when mushy stuff appeared on the screen. They would sneak into the theatre and Duo's ridiculous braid would often get stuck on something either on the way in or out, resulting in a slew of curses from the American's mouth that almost got them caught a couple times.
'We're just friends' is what he told himself then, because he felt that he needed to reassure himself that that's all it was he was feeling.
"Danke schoen, darling, danke schoen. Save those lies, darling, don't explain. I recall central park and fall – how you tore your dress, what a mess, I confess – that's not all."
The small smile now pulled at both corners when memories of their escapades to Central Park flashed before him. One time stood out in particular: they'd been walking on the ledge around the fountain when Heero slipped and fell, ripping his green tank in the process. Duo took his black over-shirt off and gave it to the Japanese boy. Heero took it and playfully pushed the braided youth into the fountain. Duo grabbed his dark haired comrade at the last instant and took him down as well. A large water fight ensued.
'We're good friends' was his excuse at that time.
"Danke schoen, darling, danke schoen," Duo huskily sang, really getting into the song. "Thank you for walks down Lover's Lane. I can see hearts carved on a tree. Let us intertwine, for all time – yours and mine, that was fine."
A slight blush crept up his cheeks and a softness replaced the hard glaze of his cobalt eyes. Lover's Lane lead to Lover's Peak, which was notorious as the best spot to watch the sunset…among other things. Duo used to drag him out to Lover's Peak and the two would chat – erm, Duo would chat and Heero would listen – and watch the sun go down. One time Heero caught the braided pilot – red handed – carving their initials in the trunk of a tree. When asked what he was doing, he replied that this sealed their friendship. Now they were friends forever. The next day Heero inwardly chuckled when Duo's jaw dropped at the two hearts carved around their initials.
'We're really close, that's all' the Wing pilot would reassure himself from time to time.
"Danke schoen, darling, danke schoen. Thank you for seeing me again. Though we go on our separate ways – still the memory stays, for always. My heart says: danke schoen."
Heero's slight smile faltered when he realized why he was called out here and why Duo was singing to him.
/He's trying to bring up old memories and make me feel bad/ he thought, looking up at the movement that caught his eye.
//I wonder if he knows it's working…// the lover said quietly. Quatre, Trowa and Wufei stood off to the side of the gazebo, moving to the music that brought the words Duo sang to life. He focused his attention on the braided boy once more and shifted, a bit uncomfortably this time due to the audience they now had.
"Danke schoen, ohh darling, danke schoen," Duo sang out the climax, totally into the song. He put all his emotions and pent up feelings about Heero into the lyrics and they seemed to float through the air with an electric current.
"I said thank you for – mmmmm, seeing me again. Though we go on our separate ways, still the memory stays, for always. My heart says: danke schoen."
Heero didn't know what to think. The first time the Shinigami pilot poured his heart and soul out to him, he was confused and let the soldier in him handle it. Now he didn't know what to do. Something inside him was stirring – some powerful force that had been asleep for years and years – was now waking deep inside him. The words Duo sang to him touched him like nothing ever had and he realized, for the first time, that he'd run out of excuses. Sure they were friends, but what Heero now felt for the boy was something more powerful. Something stronger than before. There was only one explanation –
"Danke schoen."
– he was in love.
"I'll be the same," Duo finished softly. "Danke schoen." The violet-eyed youth placed the microphone back and bowed for his friends.
Quatre clapped and yelled "Bravo!" repeatedly.
Trowa smiled brightly and hailed the boy with applause.
Wufei had the tips of his thumb and forefinger in his mouth and whistled loudly, yelling "Encore!" between each shrill blast.
Heero didn't move. The wheels in his mind were turning as his heart fought for control.
Duo bowed once again for his comrades but as he straightened himself, his smile faltered and the happy look in his eyes vanished. He stood and stared across the field.
Trowa and Wufei didn't seem to notice because they kept applauding Duo and the band. Quatre noticed though and stopped – looking at Duo, then at Heero, and finally back at Duo.
"Oh no," he breathed, worry crossing his lapis pools as he watched Duo jump off the stage and slowly walk over to the Japanese boy. This action, however, caught Trowa and Wufei's attention and they all watched, anxiously, as the two boys met.
****
Duo offered a weak smile that didn't touch his eyes. Heero stared into those violet orbs. There was a glint of something in them that captured him, held him.
//It's hunger, baka// the lover's voice echoed from down deep. //Don't you know the look of need when you see it?// He peeled his eyes from Duo's with much force and stared at his feet.
/He's not wearing any shoes/ he thought. /That baka's not wearing any shoes!/
//No wonder he looks cold// the lover said, his voice sounding more powerful than before.
"I see you got my message," Duo muttered and Heero noticed he kept curling and uncurling his toes.
"Hn," he grunted in reply and glanced up, seeing the hurt in the boy's eyes and, again, he almost drowned in those violet pools, aware of the Shinigami pilot's needs this time.
He needed Heero and Heero needed him.
"Look – it's getting late and this shirt is doing nothing to keep the cold out," Duo said flatly, flinging his cheerful mask aside and – for the second time in his life – showing his true feelings. "I just wanted to say arigatou." This caught the dark haired boy off guard and he shot quizzical pools of cobalt at the braided youth.
"For what?"
"All the fun we had together, mou man…didn't you listen to the lyrics…"
"Hai – and I've listened to everything you've ever said to me," Heero sighed under his breath.
"Nani? Would you repeat that, I missed it."
Heero turned his back on his fellow pilot, unsure of the new feelings coursing through him.
"You should go home before you catch cold," he uttered stonily over his shoulder. "You'll be worthless if you're sick and a mission comes up." With that he left the way he came.
Duo's jaw dropped and he fell to his knees, his slacks sucking dry the moist grass beneath him. Quatre ran to his side and tried to comfort the boy as he cried but was thrown off as Duo flung his head back and screamed "IIEEEEEEE!!!"
****
Heero winced as the boy's cry echoed through the trees at the park's edge, causing a single, solitary tear to slide down his face. Inside, his heart was raging.
He had stopped walking halfway through the thicket of trees and decided to climb one to watch the moon and think.
The scuffling of shoes and sniffling of noses caught his attention and he looked below him at the solemn group of pilots.
"Wufei," Trowa said urgently. "Would you take Duo back and try to get him to sleep. Quatre and I will meet you there." Wufei nodded, took the sobbing pilot and headed for home.
Once out of earshot, Trowa turned to Quatre and growled "who does he think he is? Trampling on Duo's heart like that – he knew he loved him and he still did it!"
"Schhh, schhh," Quatre shushed, trying to keep his outburst under check. "Heero considers himself the perfect soldier. Emotions are dangerous to him -"
"But that gave him no right to treat Duo the way he did! Back there, Duo poured his heart out in that song and he just turned and walked away. I'm surprised he didn't try to swing at him or something stupid like th-"
Trowa stopped short at the look on Quatre's face.
"He didn't."
Quatre opened his mouth then closed it and nodded. Trowa's eyes shrunk to green slits and Heero expected to see smoke stream from the boy's ears.
"Koi," Quatre said softly, placing a hand on the pilot's shoulder. "I used some of my sister's makeup to cover the bruise on his cheekbone. You really need to calm down though, and put tonight behind you…Duo needs to deal with -"
"Did he plan this?"
"Hai," the blonde sighed, blushing deeply. "Ja~aaa – sort of. I got the wheels turning but he thought of singing 'Danke Schoen' because it was exactly what he was thinking…or at least that's what he said." Trowa's visible eye softened and he put his arm around the flustered boy's waist.
"Let's go home," he breathed. "We should check on Duo before we go to bed."
Heero watched them leave then stared back at the moon with cobalt eyes that held emotions he couldn't put names to.
"What's happening to me?" he thought out loud and jumped to the ground. "Where to now?"
//Go to him// the lover beckoned, now equally as strong as the soldier. //Go to him now when he needs you the most//
"Ninmu ryoukai."
****
"Ohhh – man," he groaned. "Not this again." Duo stood in the center of a circle of mirrors once more.
Instead of icy, cold fingers on his cheek this time, a warm hand slipped into his. He glanced down then trailed his eyes up the arm attached to that hand till he reached a face, which was very familiar but very different as well.
Heero stood – smiling at him, all the love and affection he could muster dancing wildly in his eyes.
"Pinch me," Duo muttered and yelped when the Japanese youth pinched his arm. "I didn't mean it…"
Worry flickered across his comrade's face and he glomped the arm Duo rubbed.
"Gomen nasai," Heero said apologetically. "I didn't mean to hurt you but – you asked for it. Here, this'll make it feel better." Heero leaned in and kissed the pink spot on the boy's arm.
Duo stood there – jaw to the floor – staring at the strange boy in front of him.
"Yosh – who are you and what did you do with Heero?"
"I'm the side of Heero you never knew," he explained. "Before any of the training they put him through, he was me." He leaned in and closed Duo's gaping mouth before proceeding with a sigh.
"Then Dr. J came into his life and I was pushed aside. They drained my energy and rendered me powerless and a new force took over -"
"The perfect soldier," Duo absently interrupted.
"Hai," the lover replied. "Now I've gained more control then they'd ever expected and am planning on combining with the soldier to make him a real human boy once more." They heard a deranged war cry and an explosion in the distance that rattled the mirrors. The lover grabbed Duo's hand, fear masking everything in his wide cobalt pools.
"What was that?"
"I'll explain later but first I have to get you out of here before 'he' comes and kills your heart again," the boy said quickly and pulled Duo through a mirror with him.
And so the chase went: Heero's true self running for his life with the love of his life, chased by his stubborn war Heero.
****
A dark figure crept in through the window and glided over to the edge of the bed. He looked at the sleeping boy, listening to the occasional whimper that would escape his throat.
"I'm here now," he whispered, letting his feelings take over and leaned in closer. "No more tears." He kissed the slumbering youth's cheek, tasted the salty liquid on his lips and sighed.
/This is all my doing/ he thought. /Why do I have to be so goddamn stubborn!/
Duo whimpered again and rolled towards the boy cast in shadows – the moon shining through the window, illuminating the deep bruise on his cheekbone.
"I did that?" he gasped, not realizing his previous actions. "How could I touch him in anger. What was I angry at him for?"
/Because he scared you/ a voice, which had been quiet for a while, said. /You, we – I saw him as a weakness and thus…he had to be dealt with/
The perfect soldier gave a sigh of relief and the lover danced chibified circles around him.
/Make it quick – before I change my mind/ the soldier grunted, ceasing the lover's merry victory dance. He smiled and melted into the soldier.
Heero closed his eyes as a wave of purification washed over him. Now he was the soldier when he had to be – and himself the rest of the time.
"Duo," he whispered, looking down at the angelic face of his love. He leaned in and pressed a feather light kiss against the boy's lips then went to stand by the window.
Duo's eyes fluttered open as the softness of the touch was replaced with the cool breeze of loneliness. He sat up and looked around before his violet gaze settled on his pilot.
Heero stared at the moon – encased in her silver shadows.
"Duo," he breathed to the dark night, lifting the window and preparing to leave.
/Don't think about it Maxwell/ Duo lectured himself. /You poured your heart out to that boy twice and you got a nice bruise and a bucket of shattered dreams from it/
"I've hit you and don't deserve your forgiveness," he whispered to the swaying trees. "I'm not worthy of the love you have for me. God, I wish I could say this to you when you're not sleeping."
Duo fidgeted with the edge of his blanket. His dry eyes stared longingly at the dark haired boy, silently pleading him to turn and catch him awake.
Heero sighed and jumped out the window leaving "Ai shiteru, Duo" to float on the soft breeze. Duo's eyes widened at the words and – against all the protesting his mind shot at him – he believed them to be true with all of his broken heart.
"Heero!" he shouted and flew off the bed towards the window. Heero turned from his position on the lawn. Duo smiled down at him, his mind finally giving in to his rapidly mending heart.
/God, I'm such a sucker for romance/ he thought and leaned into the chilled night.
"Don't leave me again."
Heero smiled up at Duo.
"Never again," he called, walking to the side of the two-story building where he proceeded to scale the wall. Duo backed away from the window and closed it after the Wing pilot entered.
/This is the boy from my dream/ he thought, looking Heero over. /This is the trapped boy I saw the first time I looked in his eyes/
They stared at each other a moment longer before falling into each other's embrace.
"Yi~eee!" Duo squealed and jumped away from his koi. "You're freezing!" Heero snorted, looked at Duo shivering in his boxers and laughed. The look of shock quickly melted off the Shinigami pilot's face and he smiled.
/This is the boy who smiled at me when I confessed my feelings/ he thought and wiggled over to the bed, where he flopped on his tush. /This smiling boy who was immediately covered before he – hit me…/
The smile on his face faltered and his eyes cast down towards the floor. The Japanese youth saw this and sat next to the half naked boy, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his dark head on the American's shoulder. A genuine smile formed on Duo's brooding lips and he lay down, pulling Heero with him. The two fell asleep in each other's arms.
Duo found peace between heart, mind and soul, and Heero found the key to himself: a baka with violet eyes, a chestnut braid and a smile that could melt even the coldest of hearts.