You know what sucks? Being in love with your roommate. Apparently it wasn't enough that this blonde dude was adorable, kind, sarcastic, funny and smart, he just had to be British too. How can Newt be so god-dammed attractive?! It was difficult for Thomas just to smile at his roommate whenever he brought him dinner every time Thomas' exams came and Newt knows he forgot to eat again (they lived in an off-campus dorm and they go to different schools). It was difficult to just talk casually to Newt when all he can think about is how pink Newt's lips are and how kissable it looks (bet it taste nice too). Most of all, it was difficult to just ignore the fact that Newt likes to walk around their room shirtless and only wears boxer shorts. Thomas constantly has to cover his southern area because seeing Newt like that was extremely arousing.
So, you get the gist. Thomas is immensely in love with his roommate and he's much of a coward to do something about it. Part of it was because he wasn't even sure if Newt liked girls or boys or maybe both. The blonde hasn't brought anyone back to their dorm to introduce to Thomas (thank god for that) and he's never really talked about his romantic life with him. See the problem? They've been roommates for almost a year now and Thomas had been in love with him half of that so when Newt came back drunk to their dorm room, Thomas knew he needed to take care of him.
"God, what the hell did you drink?" He groaned as he lifted Newt up from their door to his bed. The blonde was still quite heavy despite his small frame.
"I dunno, Tommy." Newt croaked out as he wrapped his arms around Thomas' shoulders, "I c-can't remember."
Newt was giggling like crazy and Thomas had to bite his lips. Although his roommate was drunk as a skunk and was about to pass out, he still can't help it that Newt looks and sounds so adorable when he does that.
"Well, next time keep a list." Thomas said as he dropped Newt to his own bed. "Sleep."
Newt groaned and sat up again, exasperating Thomas. "I need to change." Newt said in a pout. To say that Thomas' stomach did a thousand somersaults was an understatement because he's knees always buckles when Newt does that to him.
"Ok, come here you big baby." Thomas' brain racked inside his skull. He did not even realize what he was about to do. He was gonna help Newt change and he was gonna touch Newt's bare skin. The mere thought of it made his cheeks hot and his hands sweaty. A million years of training won't have prepared him for this. Newt raised his arms up in the air and Thomas titled his head in confusion.
"Help meee!" Newt groaned and it was Thomas' cue to lift Newt's shirt up. His heart thudded in his chest as he grabbed the blonde's shirt and started taking it off. Once the shirt was off, Thomas can't help but stare. Newt's stomach was well-defined and his chest was a marvel to look at. He looked good and hot and Thomas had to mentally tell himself to not drool over him. "Tommy!" He shook from his daydream when Newt called again.
"Right! Sorry!"
Oh, God and that nickname! It made his heart flutter like crazy! Not only it sounds endearing when it came from Newt, it was like a petname for him. Like a couple. Ugh, he really needed a reality check.
Thomas turned to their drawer and picked out a shirt that was two size larger than what Newt would actually wear. He was gonna sleep so might as well be comfy. He turned back to the bed and saw that the blonde was up and taking off his pants. Thomas blushed at the sight but can't seem to turn away. Newt was shirtless, hair all messed up, and was taking off his pants. The only problem was, the blonde was so drunk that he was not even close to the button of the jeans he was trying to get off. Newt looked up and held Thomas' stare.
"Tommy?" Newt whispered, "Help."
Thomas' eyes widen at the offer. Taking the blonde's shirt off was one thing but taking off his pants? No way! Thomas had limits! Did he? It was enticing, really, but he was not a pervert nor he want to take advantage of Newt in a drunken state but the blonde did really need help. Thomas nodded and approached the blonde. His hands were trembling and when he was close enough, he stopped dead in his tracks. Was he really about to do what he was gonna do?
He reached for Newt's button and quickly snapped it open. Then he took the zipper and slowly pulled it down. Thomas' whole body was so hot and he felt like in any minute now he was gonna have a heart attack. When he was done, Newt chuckled.
"What?" Thomas asked, nervousness still laced in his voice.
"You bloody touched it." Newt giggled, plopping back to the bed.
Thomas was sure that his face was red with embarrassment! Did he really accidentally touch it?! MY GOD! He won't be able to look at Newt ever again! He felt like a pervert!
"I-uh- you- I just-" He babbled, clearly looking for some way to redeem himself from the major shame he was feeling.
"Don't fret, Tommy." Newt said, grabbing the shirt from Thomas and putting it on. "If a person was gonna touch me, I'm gonna pick you to be that person."
"Wh-What?" Thomas' eyes widened at that. What was Newt saying? How drunk was he?! Newt took his pants off (he was wearing boxers) and threw them across the room and laid on the bed.
"I'm just saying that if anyone was gonna have sex with me, I'd want them to be you." Newt whispered against the pillow. Thomas, on the other hand, was frozen in the spot. Did he hear Newt correctly? Did Newt just say that? Thomas' whole body was vibrating with anxiety and uncertainty. Sure, Newt was saying all that but there was a huge possibility that it was the alcohol. "I fancy you, Tommy. And not just fancy, more like fancy-fancy."
"Y-You like me?" The revelations made Thomas' head swim in overload.
"Yeah. Had bloody wet dreams about us too." Newt giggled, "Shhh! Don't tell Tommy. Don't tell him I like him! D-Don't tell him I want to kiss him everyday." Newt whispered ad he snuggled more into his pillow.
Thomas' heart was palpitating out of his chest and his breathing has quickened so immensely that it was unbearable. Was all this true? He can't do this if it wasn't! It's too much actually and he'd rather have been shot down directly rather that given false hopes. He looked back at Newt and found the guy snoring loudly. He slowly turned to his side of the room and laid on the bed. His mind was reeling with questions and he just hoped that whatever Newt was saying, that somehow there were some truth in it.
"So, a little birdie told me that Newt woke up without his pants today." Minh noisily sat right across from him, disturbing the peaceful lunch Thomas was having. "Did you molest Newt in his moment of weakness, Tomboy?"
Thomas choked on the food he was eating and apparently it was a funny scene for the shank, "Shut up, Minho. I can control myself, unlike you."
Minho leaned on the table and gave Thomas a scary smirk, like he had some evil plan or something. "You realize that you basically told me that you want in in Newt's pants, right?"
Thomas blushed immensely at the realization. He stared at the food he was eating and started stuffing his face with it. Not only did he out himself to Minho, he basically outed himself that he liked a guy to the whole campus since Minho was the gossip train in this school.
"YOU DO!" Minho yelled, laughing his ass off.
"Shut up, slinthead!" Thomas warned in gritted teeth. "Did Teresa, that blabbermouth, told you about that?"
Minho just shrugged and took the apple on Thomas' tray. "Look, dude. I've guessed for sometime now. I mean, whenever you bring Newt when we hang out, I basically have to restrain myself from puking from all the heart-eyes you give to him."
Thomas groaned in annoyance. He was so sure he was being discreet! His gazes never lasted longer that 5 seconds and when it did, it would be because Newt looks so good or he's smiling that same smile that makes him swoon.
"Don't worry though, I won't tell anyone about it." Minho whispered, keeping himself from laughing out loud. "You should be thankful that he doesn't go to school here because I would just go and tell him right now so you guys wold just fuck already."
Thomas spitted the water he was trying to drink and coughed so loudly that the noises around them minimized a little, "What the hell are you talking about?" Thomas aid in between coughs, grabbing some napkins he managed to get from the counter.
"Really?" Minho asked, confusion in his face, "Oh, man. And I thought you were smart."
"What are you-"
"Newt likes you too, shank." Minho said, bitting his (well, Thomas' to be exact) apple again. Thomas fell silent. So all that drunk Newt said to him last night were true? It couldn't be, right?
"Wh-"
"Seriously, Thomas." Minho scolded, "You guys look at each other in a disgusting way. I'm even surprised when Teresa told me that you guys aren't screwing each other yet."
"Shut up, Minho." Thomas whispered, he wanted to make the guy talk softer. "How would you even know what he feels?"
Minho eyed him like he was crazy, "Because he basically laughs at everything you say?! Because he always stays closer to you than necessary?! Because he can't seem to take his eyes of you when you're talking?! Because of the way he smiles at you?! Because he calls you Tommy?! Do you want me to go on? Because I have, like, a list in my bag somewhere."
Thomas tried to let it all sink in. Was he being stupid this whole time? Did Newt really did all that? Well, Thomas was sure he always does that to Newt. Was it possible? Did Newt actually like him too. He was suddenly pulled out of his reverie when he saw a flash going off.
"This is some Disney movie shit." Minho mocked as he took a picture of Thomas lost in his thoughts.
Thomas only groaned in annoyance.
Exams were coming and Thomas did not want to deal with his feelings, not when all he wanted to do was bust his ass in his chem midterms because of how poorly he did in prelims. He decided to take a day off from the university and just stay at his dorm and study for the whole day. It wasn't such a bad idea considering that the people outside were just gonna be a distraction and he really needed to do better.
"Dinner!" He heard Newt scream from the door and the blonde entered the room with Chinese food and 2 boxes of pizza. He smiled at his roommate when his stomach grumbled in hunger. He hadn't even noticed that he did bot eat anything today. Thank God for Newt.
"Oh, you are the best! I love you!" Thomas said, getting up from the bed and grabbing the Chinese food first, taking a whiff of it. He meant the "I love you" part platonically but the slight blush on Newt's cheeks actually made Thomas regret his choice of words.
"Haven't eaten anything again, have you?" Newt asked, putting the pizza down on the small table that they had.
"Yup." Thomas said as he started digging in, not even noticing Newt's palm twitching. "Good thing I have you."
Newt chuckled as he prepared some plates for the pizza, "So, having fun studying?"
"It's more fun with you." Thomas absent-mindedly said. Newt turned to him and he looked so distressed. Thomas stopped eating and got up. "What's wrong?"
"I'm gonna regret this." Newt whispered and just like that, he was charging at Thomas. Thomas took a step back but Newt's hands were already on his nape, pulling him in. In an instant, Newt's lips were on his. It took him by surprise and it took a full minute before he realized that Newt was actually kissing him. He was about to kiss back when Newt pulled away. Thomas felt himself getting hazy and dazed.
"Bloody hell, Sorry! I-uh- sorry!" And just like that, Newt had ran put the room and Thomas was left there standing, his mind still reeling from the daze he got himself in to.
"What the hell just happened?"
The exams are terrible and Thomas' nerves were dancing with anxiety. He still had another day before exams were finally over but he was sure he did well in his chem exam but he still wouldn't keep his hopes up. It seemed like his professor was out to get him, always making him do difficult stuff to do and hard equations to memorize, it was torture. Not only that, but he can't seem to take a certain someone out of his mind. Usually, Newt would just randomly pop out of his mind but this time, after that kiss, it's all he can think about.
Newt had gone MIA the past two days and Thomas was very close to losing it. He wanted to talk to Newt but how can he do that when the blonde didn't even bother replying to any of his texts. It was torture! Thomas grabbed his keys and opened their door. His head was still swimming in his thoughts that he doesn't even notice Newt sitting in his bed.
"Hey." Thomas freaked out from the sudden voice that filled the room and turned so quickly that he thought he was gonna give himself a whiplash. He clutched his chest and breathed out.
"Geez! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?! God!" Thomas leaned on the table where he put his keys and closed his eyes, trying to focus on his breathing.
"Sorry." Newt whispered.
"It's okay. I was just reall-umph!" Thomas turned to face Newt but he was being kissed again. Thomas managed to get his facilities together rather quickly and kissed back. Newt's lips were soft, just as he thought it would be, and they tasted like coffee. Thomas grabbed Newt's nape and brought him closer, deepening the kiss. He felt Newt's tongue brush against his lower lip and he let Newt enter. The feeling of Newt's tongue search his mouth was amazing. The daze he felt from the first kiss was coming back and he can only moan in the kiss. But, unfortunately, the loss of air got the best of them and they had to separate.
Thomas still had his hands on Newt's nape and he breathed long and hard. "I'm so sorry, Tom-"
"Shut up." Thomas whispered back. He leant forward again, kissing Newt chastely. "We'll talk about this after my exams, alright?"
Newt only nodded and smiled at him. "Good."
Thomas grinned too and kissed Newt again. This time, it was more needy than the last one. Their lips moving in sync was amazing and Thomas can't get Newt and his lips put of his head.
"Thomas!" He snapped out of his daze-filled recollection when Teresa's voice interrupted him.
"What?" Thomas asked, trying his hardest to hide his southern problem.
"That's like the third time you've zoned out on me, what's happening?" Teresa asked, throwing her books back to her locker. The exams were finally over and they were about to go out to celebrate but all Thomas can think about is the blonde back at his dorm, waiting for him.
"Newt kissed me." Thomas blurted out. Teresa froze in her place and his mouth was agape, with a smile slowly forming. When she finally let the news sink in, she squealed so high, Thomas thought that dogs would howl.
"You go get it, Tom!" Teresa punched him playfully, "You finally got one of you wet dreams come true!" Thomas groaned in annoyance and started walking away. He knew telling Teresa that dream was a mistake. Hell, why did he even think that it was remotely a good idea to tell anyone? Not unless he was planning on running away the very same day and vanish from this place. He heard Teresa catching up to him. "So, did you guys, you know." Teresa asked, wiggling her eyebrows in a suggestive way.
"No!" Thomas denied immediately. "Don't be disgusting!"
"Yeah. I'm sure some hanky panky with Newt would be disgusting." Teresa mocked as she clutched her bag in he shoulders. "In all seriousness, are you guys together now?"
Thomas thought about the question. Were they? They spent the remainder of last night, after studying, making out on Newt's bed. The memory of it was enough to make Thomas' knees buckle. Sure they spooned after it and fell asleep but they never really had a chance to talk a little since Thomas forgot to put an alarm on and he woke up with only 30 minutes to spare before his first exam started. "I don't know, really."
"You guys haven't talked yet?"
"I told him that we'll talk right after the exams." Thomas remembered his own words. Now that he realizes it, he paused from walking. His exams were finally over and they would be talking about it. Oh, God! They would have to talk about it! Thomas' heart suddenly started to beat much faster. "Oh, shit! The exams are over!"
"No shit, Sherlock." Teresa scoffed and started walking again but Thomas grabbed her.
"This means we actually have to talk, T!" Thomas yelled, pacing back in forth, "Shit! I can't do that! What if he would tell me that he was just having fun. That it was all a joke. I can't take that!"
"Calm down, Tom." Teresa soothed but Thomas' nerves were fired up. He can't seem to calm himself or even think of one coherent thought. He dreamed about him and Newt getting together and now that he was a step closer to getting there, he fears it was some sick joke the universe was playing on him. "Just go back to your dorm and talk to him, okay. It's gonna be fine."
"Wh-What about the party?" Thomas said, frantically finding ways to postpone the talk, "I-I must go or Minho will be mad at me!"
"Thom-"
"I also need to go to the grocery! Gosh, I think we don't have enough food!
"Th-"
"I should have my car checked! It's been doing this thing lately that I fear is gonna be damaging. It's like this hissing sound and it's really irritating. I should take it to an auto-shop, right? I mean I can't-"
"THOMAS!" Teresa yelled, effectively stopping Thomas from pacing and blabbering like an idiot. "Look, I'll deal with Minho. We'll go grocery shopping tomorrow and we'll take your car to be fixed but right now, you have to talk to Newt because you are losing your bolts, okay?"
"B-But I-"
"Are we clear?" Teresa said in gritted teeth, clearly trying to intimidate Thomas, which was clearly working. "Now go out there and get some!"
Thomas' heart was drumming out of his chest. Not only did he look like a creepy stalker outside his own dorm room but he was also visibly perspiring. He was sweaty all over and specially his hands. He was so nervous and he wanted to bolt but if he did, then he'll never get over this. Best case scenario, after the talk, they kiss and live happily ever after. Worts case scenario, Thomas gets his heartbroken and he's left with picking it up alone but at least that's a result. He needed to do this now. Why prolong the agony when he can just open the door in front of him and just get this over with. Just as he was about to grab the door, handle, the door suddenly opened and Newt was on the other side, ready to go somewhere.
"Hey." Newt whispered, as he stumbled backwards. "I was just about to get you. You said your exams would be over by 3 and it's 5 now so I got worried."
"Y-You got worried?" Thomas asked, his eyes blown out wide. His heart was beating like crazy because of nervousness but his stomach was filled with butterflies. It was a confusing feeling.
"Of course. I don't know what I would do to myself if you got hurt, shank!" Newt smiled at him, "You're my Tommy."
Thomas' body suddenly got disconnected from his brain because he surged forwards, pressing his lips against Newt's. Newt's lips were chapped but it still tastes really good. Really damn good. Newt was returning the kiss, so that's a good sign. He pulled away from the kiss and sighed. "I'm sorry."
Newt only chuckled as he snaked his hand all the way to Thomas' nape, causing the brunette to shiver. "Don't be."
Thomas tried. He really did. But the weight of everything that's been happening, it's just so big and present and he can't keep lying to Newt anymore. "I love you, Newt."
Newt's smile vanished and Thomas knew he made the wrong choice of telling the blonde that. Newt backed away from him and dropped to the bed. The only good thing was Newt did not look angry or worried. He looked shocked and surprised. "Wow."
"I'm sorry." Thomas looked at the ground, wallowing in despair. Of course, Newt would never feel the same.
"You really have to stop apologizing, Tommy." Newt whispered and when Thomas looked up, he saw Newt smiling and with the little ounce of bravery left in him,
"Tell me?" Thomas whispered, looking for distaste in Newt's face.
Newt bit his lip and stood up, walking towards Thomas. When he got close, he looked Thomas right in his eye. "I can't."
Thomas' heart felt like it was stomped. His stomach lurched in so many ways and he wanted to vomit. This was it, rejection. This is how it feels to be rejected by the one you love. It feels awful. It feels depressing. It feels sad. He fought the tears that was threatening to escape his eyes and fall. He refused to look so weak in front of the boy he loves.
"I can't because I'm not there yet but..." Newt took his hand and place it in his chest. "Feel that?" Thomas looked at Newt and he was smiling. Newt's heart was beating fast and Thomas wasn't sure were Newt was getting at so he only nodded. "It's how I feel for you, Tommy." Thomas squinted his eyes, not really getting the point in all of this. He just wanted to get out of this room and just cry somewhere. He'd just been struck down.
"I get nervous when I'm around you. I always wanna look good whenever you're around. And when you talk," Newt bit his lip, "I just wanna kiss you. I wanna hold you, cuddle you, sleep in your arms. Tommy, I don't know what I'm feeling but I know it's close to love but I wanna be sure before I tell you because you deserve that. So don't think that I don't want this, us, because I do."
Thomas' tears were flowing down his cheeks. Newt liked him. He really did. He was never rejected. He lips were quivering and just feels so happy. He can't think straight because happiness was the only thing that enveloped him. "Y-You do?"
"I do." Newt whispered, "I mean, have you looked in a mirror? I would be a stupid shank to turn you down." Thomas laughed at that and he hugged Newt with all his might. They hugged for what felt like centuries and Thomas never wanted that feeling to end. It was so beautiful.
Newt kissed him when he pulled away and Thomas kissed him back. The negativities vanished from his body and all he feels was Newt. All he needed was him. He loved the blonde and he was willing to wait for the blonde to love him back.
"Summer's here!" Minho yelled as he popped open the champagne they were saving for the celebration. Newt and Teresa wooed as the loud pop enveloped the room and the music was playing in the background. Thomas was preparing the pizza as he looked back at his friends, having fun and hanging out. This was a pre-party, because Thomas wanted to celebrate with his friends only, but they were gonna attend a bigger one when the clock strikes 9 PM.
All in all, the year was pretty great. Thomas managed to pass Chemistry with an average of 90 percent (he managed to kick ass in the finals) and Minho and Teresa managed to pass all their subjects too, with Teresa as a candidate for making it in the Dean's List. Newt also passed his subject (he had always been a Dean's Lister back at their school) and their relationship was better than ever. Being roommates never gave them any problem because they still gave each other their own space. They got clingy sometimes but that's only because that's how they really are normally.
The dates were fun too. Newt would always bring him to fancy restaurants, despite Thomas' constant nagging of not doing so, and the night always ended with them doing stuff on one of the beds. Thomas took a more subtle approach, hitting Newt where it truly matters. For example, he remembered Newt telling him that he liked going to this park that was an hour away from where they lived so Thomas took him there. The catch was, he also ordered some catering and a band to play for them. Cliché, he knows, but it was all for Newt. Let's just say that the blonde was so happy, they did not even made it back to their dorm and just pulled over a dark alley. The adventure of winning the blonde's heart was his priority after all.
"Hey, slugger." Thomas shook as he was taken by surprise. He felt arms around his waist and a chin on his shoulder. He turned as saw a smiling Newt. "What's keeping you? Teresa and Minho are arguing about something again which I don't really understand."
Thomas turned and kissed Newt chastely, "Just finishing with the food. Are they giving you a hard time?"
"Not as hard as I get when you come out of the shower." Newt whispered and Thomas playfully punched him. He took the plates with the pizza and shoved two to Newt. "Here, give this to Teresa."
Newt only chuckled at him.
Thomas wrapped his arms around Newt's middle as the blonde was resting his head on chest. The party sucked so they decided to just leave early and let Minho and Teresa have fun. This was much better.
"Tommy?" Thomas only hummed in response as he kissed Newt's hair. "I have to tell you something."
"Yeah?"
Newt crawled on top of Thomas and rested his chin on his chest. Thomas chuckled at the sight. "I love you."
Thomas' smile vanished as his heart started to pick up it's pace. "R-Really?"
"I'm sure." Newt smiled, "Cause you're the best damn thing that ever happened to me."
Thomas kissed Newt so fast, he was sure it would have hurt but Newt did not back away. He kissed back and in no time, shirts were thrown to the floor.
"I love you too, Newt."