Why Me?

By: Beth Diane

Summary: Buffy wonders why she was the slayer. Why not someone else? What makes her so special? This is partially set in Journal form. Please review!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Buffy characters, so don't sue me, k?

Chapter 1: You See Yourself

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After I was told that I was the slayer, I didn't know why. I didn't understand why I was so different from everyone else.

"You are the chosen one." He said. "You have to save the world." He said, but I still cannot figure out why. Why am I the only one who can save the world? Why was I chosen? Who decided that I was going to be like this? Has it been decided since I was born? Were my parents Slayers too? No, they couldn't have been. All the slayers before me have died. That's why I am the slayer now, right?

* * *

"Buffy, what's wrong?" Willow asked. Willow and Buffy had been best friends since Buffy had moved to Sunnydale. They were sitting in the library, waiting for Giles to tell them what was going on in the Hellmouth.

"Nothing's wrong, Willow." Buffy replied, staring off into space. She was thinking about why she was the slayer.

"I know that something is wrong." Willow countered. "You're off in your own little world. Something is obviously wrong."

"It's just something that Cordelia said the other day." Buffy replied.

"Wow, something Cordelia said has got someone thinking!?" Xander asked, walking through the door of the library. Xander was Buffy's other best friend, also since Buffy moved to Sunnydale, but he had been Willow's best friend since they were little kids.

"It's not like that." Buffy said defensively.

"I wish it were like that though. You guys need to give Cordy more credit." Xander replied.

"For what?" Willow asked. "All she does is sit here and make herself look ditzy."

"Look ditzy? Don't you mean, be ditzy?" Buffy commented, only half smiling.

"So, changing the subject . . . " Xander said, "What's up, Buff?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Buffy sighed. Cordelia insulted her. That was what got her thinking. Cordy asked her why she thought she was so special. Cordy asked her why being the slayer gave her so many privileges and then she stormed out of the room. How was Buffy supposed to explain to Willow and Xander that she couldn't figure out why she was the slayer. Giles had explained it to her, but not in depth. He didn't seem to know.

"Buffy? Are you still with us?" Willow was snapping her fingers in front of Buffy's face.

"Yeah. Sorry." Buffy said, snapping out of her thoughts. She knew that she should tell Willow and Xander. They were worried about her, but she just didn't know how.

"What's bothering you, Buffy? You can tell us." Willow said.

"It's nothing." Buffy said quickly. "I don't know why I told you anything." Buffy jumped out of her chair and rushed out the door. On her way out, she almost ran into Giles.

"What's your hurry, Buffy?" Giles, the librarian and also Buffy's watcher, asked.

"No hurry. I have to get to class." Buffy said, rushing out the door.

"What's her deal?" Giles asked, once Buffy was gone.

"Did Giles just say 'deal'? Xander looked at Willow, smirking. Willow smiled and looked back at Giles.

"We're not sure." Willow answered, frowning. "It has something to do with Cordelia saying something." Giles looked shocked, but he didn't say anything.

"What time is it, Giles?" Xander asked. Giles looked at his watch and told Xander what it said.

"That's funny." Xander said, "Buffy's first class isn't for another half- hour."

* * *

"So Buffy, why did you leave so suddenly this morning?" Willow asked Buffy after school. "where did you go?"

"I told you I had class." Buffy said hastily.

"No you didn't." Willow said, "You're first class didn't start for thirty minutes, so where did you go?"

"No where." Buffy said, shrugging. "I just had to get away from the questions."

"So, will you answer them now?" Willow asked.

"I guess, Will, but please don't tell Giles."

"Whatever, Buffy, what's wrong?"

"Why am I the slayer?" Buffy stopped walking. She turned to face Willow. "Why was I chosen? What makes me so special?"

"I don't know, Buffy. Why are you asking me this? What did Cordelia say?"

"She asked me why I thought I was so special, and she asked why I had so many privileges because of a birth right. Why am I so special, and was being the slayer a birth right? If so, does my mother know? Does she have something to do with it?" Buffy asked, blinking back tears of frustration.

"I don't know, Buffy." Willow replied. "I really don't know." The two of them stood there in silence for about five minutes.

"It's a good thing that you are the slayer, Buffy." Willow said, "You're good at it too."

"Are you sure about that?"

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A/N: Please review and tell me what you think!!!