Disclaimers: This story contains references to shitty internet videos(don't look them up if you value your sanity or the contents of your stomache!) heavily implied beastiaslity, incest, off screen rape, drugs, baby jokes liquor , violence and many bad things . This story is intended as a parody if you do not like it please do not take it seriously!
It was prom night at Hetalia high. Germany sighed as he listened to "I like your booty but I'm not gay" blare from the speakers. "Ugh Americans have such terrible taste in music!' Ludwig thought to himself, 'It could be worse they could be playing 'German Sparkle party' That song was so stupid, he'd seen the music video for it and if it weren't for the fact that he also had seen '2 girls 1 cup' he'd say it was the worst thing to ever be seen on the internet! Still seeing to lezzies eat shit and puke it up was far worse than some gay techno song! Still, Germany would have preferred watching sick internet videos from his homeland then be at the prom! Not that he hated proms mind you, typically they were romantic affairs where young teen couples put on there best outfits and danced in a highschool gym, hoping to be crowned Prom King and Queen and maybe afterwards lose their virginity in a way that may or may not be totally regretted come morning and be the most awkward breakfast ever complete with the walk of shame, involving wrinkled formal where, messy hair, smeared makeup, and most likely dried jizz on the girls's dress with the used condom hanging off of it. All in all it was the typical dreams of young teens everywhere to make the prom the ultimate night of their young lives.
Still Germany wondered why he just had to be there at the prom. Then he remembered that it was because of his Italian boyfriend Itly. He insisted at going to the prom. Still, considering the night's recent events Ludwig wish he could disappear! So far, the dance was a grade A disaster from the get go. The prom's theme was 'Enchanting night under the sea' and was supposed to have a nautical theme to it. It certainly looked like they were under the sea, streamers of aqua marine and seafoam were hung everywhere you could imagine in the high school gym. There were balloons of the same color, even some of white and clear to look like bubbles to simulate the feel of being under water hung in colorful clusters. Also, there were all sorts of fish hanging up everywhere. The problem was that they were real fucking fish! Someone should have told the decorating committee that they weren't supposed to use real fish! Only plastic, or paper mache ones, but no they were actual fish of all kinds you could imagine. There were carps, sea bass, seahorses, even dwarf sharks, who were unfortunately still alive thrashing about flopping about their imprisonment of fishing line tied to them and strung over the dancer's head some foolish teens had poked and prodded at the angry fish earning themselves vicious bites in the process! Some of the students only needed band aids for their wounds, but one guy had the bright idea of sticking his finger in the enraged shark's mouth and got his finger bitten off for his troubles. He was whisked away the hospital to have his finger reattached although Mr. Rome had a hell of a time explaining to 911 that yes a teenager actually got his finger bitten off and no he was not on drugs or drunk of his ass although that would not surprise Germany seeing how Rome was a raging wino. Also still alive was a fairly large octopus sitting next to the refreshments on the buffet table. Speaking of which, Germany was avoiding it like the plague seeing how there was nothing but stale potato chips,overly sugary cupcakes and cookies, and a bowl of punch which had a shitload of booze poured in it thanks to the bad friends trio, France, Spain, and his idiot brother Prussia.
Almost all of the students had drank the punch and gotten completely drunk off of the alcohol tainted beverage. Spain had alot of the punch and had one point picked up the octopus and hugging it while joyously declaring;
"Paul mi hermano! Where have you been I thought you were dead I missed you!"
Romano facepalmed as he watched in annoyance as Spain hugged the octopus and cooed at it in Spanish about how much he loved the sea creature. Said sea creature was not happy about being stolen from his home at the local aquarium, and was even less pleased about some dumb human manhandling it and had wrapped its tentacles around said human's neck so it could throttle the dumb human and get him to let it go! Romano looked at the spectacle in annoyance and walked over to his boyfriend in an attempt to get the octopus from strangling Spain
"Let go of that dumb fish you damn bastard it isn't Paul its just some random ass octopus that stupid Korea bastard stole from the aquarium!" Romano shouted as he was trying to pry the enraged animal's tentacles off of the Spaniard's neck.
Finally after some work, they got the octopus to stop throttling Spain and Romano threw it to the floor, it landed at the feet of Japan, who was standing near the bleachers .looking bored. Japan had hoped to do some dancing and even have some 'private time' with Greece, but said Greek was sitting in a chair fast asleep. Japan saw the octopus thrashing about on the floor and smiled mischievously. 'Perhaps I can have some fun after all!' Japan thought to himself, as he scooped up the octopus and ran into the boy's room locking himself in the handicapped stall. Pleasured moans could heard from the stall and cries of "Oh yes! Octopus-san harder!" were heard from said stall. Most of the students were horrified at what the heard and ran from the bathroom even if they had to go badly opting to relieve themselves outside near the dumpsters, some of the boys tried to sneak into the girls rooms only to be greeted with screams and were chased out by the angry girls who were calling them perverts. So there Germany sat, his stomach nauseated and churning due to the stench of dead (and still alive in some cases) fish, and his head pounding from the way to loud music. He looked on in disbelief as he watched guys running from the bathrooms screaming about not being able to unsee the nasty sight of Japan getting freaky with the octopus. Italy bounded up to Germany smiling
"Vee! Germany isn't this a a fun dance so far?" Italy asked Germany. Ludwig look,ed up at Feliciano and sighed
"Ja, I guess although what's this about Japan and an a octopus?" he asked although inwardly he didn't really want to know the answer. Italy looked at him and replied:
"Vee I'm not sure Doitsu, I tried to go into the bathroom to find out but fratello would not let me go in there and said I didn't need to see the Japanese bastard violating a fish! Is Japan really violating Mr. Octopus how could he do that?" Italy asked Germany a confused look on his face.
Germany merely shuddered at the thought of what Japan and the octopus were doing and said;
" I don't know nor do I want to know!"
Italy frowned"But Doitsu what are they mphp..!" was the Italian's response as Germany clapped a hand over his mouth.
"Let's not discuss this anymore!" Germany growled dangerously at Italy.
'Ok let's dance!" Italy cried grabbing Germany by the wrist onto the dance floor.
So Germany and Italy danced among their fellow students, it was nice as Italy ground his cute body into his to the music, although Ludwig would have picked a better song selection other than "The Bedroom Intruder remix" which was said to be France's theme song which fit the wine sucking perv perfectly if you asked him. Said perv was with his friends and idiot brother using a bat to try and play pinata with one of the sharks dangling from the ceiling in a drunken stupor. Prussia took a swing at the shark but missed hitting Romano instead. The hot headed Italian grabbed the bat from Prussia and proceeded to beat him with it. Spain tried to grab the bat from Romano and stop him from beating his friends head in but his efforts were futile. France just wondered off to harass a drunken England who was dancing with America.
Meanwhile Russia was enjoying the night with his love China and the couple were happily dancing with each other. It was quite cut until Belarus stalked up to him and grabbed Russia from, behind and said:
"Big Brother I have been looking for you everywhere! I have proof that we can get married now! Here meet our son!" she replied holding up a small bundle which in fact was a newborn baby boy. Russia and China looked at Belarus in shock!
'Ayuh! Who's baby is that? What did you do? Kill a pregnant woman for that baby?" China asked in shock not for one second putting it past the crazed girl to do such a thing in her insane hope to get her brother to marry him.
"Do not mock me you stupid Chinese pig! The baby is mine and Russia's! 9 months earlier, I snuck some sleeping pills and viagra into his vodka and had my way with him! So now that we have a child together you must marry me marry me marry me!" Belarus said an insane light in his eyes.
Horrified but wehat his little sister told him, Russia ran away crying "Go away go away! I'll never marry you!"
Belarus ran after him in hot pursuit, in her efforts to chase him she accidentally dropped the baby. China caught the baby just in time before it hit the floor.
"If you are Ivan's son I feel sorry for your father aru! I hope you don''t wind up with any weird defects thanks to your crazy mommy!" China said as he held the baby watching as Russia ran in sheer terror from his little sister.
All of a sudden the gym was engulfed in flames! France had tried to rape England who was so angry he set the gym abalze trying to curse the Frenchman with his magic. All of the students and chaperons fled from the burning building as fast as they everyone made it ok. Japan nearly tripped as he ran from the place his pants down to his waist, the octopus still on him with its tentacles jammed in Japan's ass. Everyone looked at him in disgust, and Japan de-tangled himself from the sea creature and pulled up his pants. Germany sighed and took Italy home muttering how this was the worst prom ever Though after a nice cold beer he and Italy made love to him.
Rumor has it, Japan still has the octopus as a pet which he uses it for 'tentacle fun times'. England and Belarus were committed to a mental institution for their crimes. England was released after a few weeks. Belarus may be staying there longer... it turns out the baby is in fact hers and Russia's and Russia and China have decided to keep the little one and raise him as their own. His name is Moscow and he is a happy and healthy baby who loves his daddies very much.
A few months later Italy asked Germany if he wanted to go to the Sadie Hawkins dance, after remembering the disaster of the first dance, Germany said "NO WAY IN HELL!"
The End.