Behind Your Back

Anime: Owari no Seraph (Seraph of the End)

Pairings: Iwasaki Shūsaku x Narumi Makoto (Pre when they're younger)

Warnings: Angst

Spoilers: Major spoilers for Chapter 41 / Episode 24 and major spoilers for Volume 6 of the LN

Set shortly after volume 6, chapter 2 of the LN and set sometime after Chapter 41 / Episode 24
*Written before chapter 42 was released.

A/N: Wanted to write these two as children for a bit

Summary: Childhood memories are sometimes sweeter than adult memories. (Shūsaku x Narumi)

"..."

Shūsaku poked his head into the training ground cautiously. Spotting the coppery hair easily enough before he slipped inside fully. Shutting the door behind him quietly so as to not disturb either Narumi or anyone else of the Narumi family. He was hard at work, Guren's words from the funeral seemed to have finally eased his wavering mind. Shūsaku could see how it was effecting him as time went on so he was glad they both attended the funeral. The execution was still fresh in both their minds but... Guren seemed trustworthy or at least Narumi trusted him so Shūsaku did too.

Shūsaku moved over with a spellbook before sitting on the floor near to begin reading. Narumi regarded him but continued with his training, wanting to become stronger. Shūsaku merely followed along but he too had to uphold the duty of an Iwasaki. His and Narumi's family's were close. The roaring sea and the stone cape. They matched each other well and were regarded as one of the strongest in Nagoya. Now it was the duty of their kids to keep with that legacy and neither of them had any intent to fall behind. Neither of them were going to sit back anymore.

So they exhaustingly trained until Narumi finally decided it was time for a break to replenish their energy. "Do you want something to eat Shūsaku?"

"..."

"Okay, I'll get you something." Narumi turned and went to get something for the both of them.

Shūsaku stayed put, being respectful since this wasn't his place. Narumi however barged off and made noise. Whining for someone to come help him get something. Shūsaku's expression didn't change but he felt a bubble of happiness at Narumi's tendencies. He would never change them but someone had to be respectful for the both of the them so he took on that job. Narumi came back quickly, handing Shūsaku his share before plopping down beside him. Grinning without a care.

"Thank you." Shūsaku gave a quiet nod.

"What were you reading?" Narumi prodded for conversation.

Shūsaku began explaining, asking if Narumi wanted to learn. Narumi listened to his explanation, trying his best in order to learn it as well. He liked working with Shūsaku in joint learning, it meant he could relax and still become stronger. Narumi revelled in the fact Shūsaku only seemed to talk this much around him. Anyone else, including his own parents, had never heard Shūsaku speak so much without pure intention. This was something only he could do and was proof of their long time friendship. Shūsaku barely spoke but he never was bothered by Narumi's boisterous personality and Narumi found himself seeking him out. Either for his own or Shūsaku's benefit.

Although part of the reason Shūsaku spoke so much may have been because he was covering for Narumi and had no reason to do so before this. All the adults were always bidding their time and waiting. Narumi was done waiting, he was going to follow Guren to victory. So Shūsaku was going to have to speak more and Narumi was going to have to get stronger. Narumi quietly ate as he listened and watched Shūsaku explain certain concepts. The more he talked, the more inspired Narumi felt. They were going to do this. They were going to stop being dregs.

A proper future awaited them and Narumi for once, felt hopeful rather than just faithful. The Ichinose's were really gentle and kind. They honoured their family and friends, which is why him and Shūsaku had so much freedom. Why they were taught to be friendly to each other instead of competing. If they wanted to survive, they needed family and friends backing them up. Which was why is was important for them to keep supporting the Ichinose family. Narumi had his answer now and the unpleasant well of suppression was starting to lesson. Even at eleven he could feel it.

"Ready to train again Shūsaku?"

Shūsaku nodded his head "..."

Narumi grinned and he began to practice his spells and work on his combat skills. Training with Shūsaku in how to work together, prioritizing their teamwork and capability to set up the other. They were battle partners. Narumi took the front line and Shūsaku worked from the shadows to assist and cast stronger spells. Hours of endless work and refinement went into the day. As it got late, Shūsaku got his attention as they settled from their most recent combo.

"I have to go home Makoto."

"Oh, right."

"..."

"You'll be back tomorrow right?"

Shūsaku nodded his head and began to collect his things to retreat back home.

"We now have a deadline for how long we'll have to tolerate this. Isn't that great Shūsaku?"

"..."

"Ichinose Guren is really going to lead us to a better future. A much kinder one that this..."

"..."

"I can really trust him..." Narumi hated how his voice wavered.

Shūsaku stopped in his collection and looked over his shoulder. He could see the slight shake, the heavy burden that Narumi carried resurfacing again. So he moved closer, trying to share the burden as well. Narumi always felt small and insignificant due to the bullying of other families. They over stepped their boundaries constantly so the Ichinose family was a warm beckon for not only Narumi but Shūsaku. Narumi's mouth had gotten him into a fair share of fights, he had a hard time with respect due to how other's treated him. No one ever showed it to Narumi so he just did the same back.

Narumi was tired and the execution of Sakae Ichinose only emphasised that point. The disrespect towards his body, the fact that their followers were shown the tape of what happened to their precious leader. Someone so gentle was killed and trampled over, no respect, left to rot. Narumi wondered if they all would be treated a similar way when they died. After all, the Ichinose followers were the least valued in terms of worth and capability. Canon fodder. Narumi shook as the tears began to spill once again, not fully out of his system despite the crying fit he did just a few days prior.

Shūsaku stood by him, calm as always. Letting Narumi get out his emotions of humiliation that had accumulating in his small number of years being alive. Shūsaku had hardened himself as well, his emotions having troubles reaching the surface but he was better at handling being stepped on. Where Shūsaku bid his time and remained quietly firm in his beliefs. Narumi roared out his faith and fought for it and constantly looked for truths and explanations. Narumi continued to cry. Words weren't something that would do in this situation, words were meant to convery meanings. That's why Shūsaku barely spoke, words should only be spoken with purpose. So instead, Shūsaku stared at him quietly but his action spoke more than words ever could.

He reached out his hand and once again stroked his back in comfort.

Narumi sighed at the memory.

It was nice to remember but... with remembering it brought bitterness and comparison. Where he started and where he was now. Where was his future? These were questions he needed to reflect upon. Where was the brighter future that he had been promised by his father? That he had trusted Guren to give him? He became respectful, learned how to hold his tongue in the right situations. He stopped getting in so many fights, he did what he thought was right, he shut up and followed Guren. Narumi found his family, found people he could be gentle with.

Narumi glanced to his side, expecting there to be more room... expecting there to be a person laying beside him. Instead he was still laying in his single bed, wishing that Shūsaku would rub his back so Narumi could get all his emotions out. Wish he'd silently reassure him that it was okay to feel these things and that he wasn't alone and everything would turn out in one way or another. Narumi felt tears in his eyes and cursed himself. He was supposed to be strong. Being strong meant he couldn't cry. Narumi had learned from that execution video years ago, he could not show weakness. If Guren could shoulder the death of his father and to show him respect when others could not. Narumi could do this.

He would carry the burden of his four dead squad mates with honour. He'd eventually get revenge and either stop being the lowest being on the planet or become a stepping stone for a brighter future. Narumi had a firm resolve. Hardened from years of abuse from the Hiragi's and their followers. Hardened from conquering the darkness inside his heart constantly as Genbushin tried every so often to force out. Narumi may be gullible but he knew what he was after. The people he trusted... Narumi wondered how much that had been abused...

He couldn't even follow Guren anymore... what kind of future was this? How was this a proper future? He no longer had his family. He had no squad mates to treat that way... well... Narumi knew that wasn't fully true. Everyone in the Moon Demon Company was family. Plus who knew he'd find a new family in a squad with a Hiragi in it? Narumi never would've guessed, then again, his entire life was full of twists and turns he didn't expect. One thing after another, never stopping. He could still feel pride in himself for making it to sergeant despite the fact the Hiragi family viewed them as dregs.

Although, he could thank the fact that was even achievable to how valuable Guren was making himself. Narumi could remember making it to sergeant, how proud he was. How his friends had thrown him a small celebration. Whatever they could throw together, it may have been the best day in Narumi's life. Where his accomplishments all felt like they were within reach. If he closed his eyes, he could imagine the smell of vanilla and the playful colours of flittering magazine clippings to replicate confetti. Narumi could remember all his squad mates crowding around him.

Kagiyama and Rika squishing him from behind causing him to bend over onto Yayoi and Shūsaku. He could remember scolding them to treat him with more respect since he now outranked all of them. Narumi could feel it, the slight tickle of happiness. The little things piled up the most. Like Rika's contact, Kagiyama's voice, Yayoi's scent, and Shūsaku's stare. Narumi associated himself with taste. He wondered if Shūsaku agreed? He wondered if he would ever let anyone else taste him other than Shūsaku. Narumi wished he had kissed Shūsaku before they returned to Nagoya.

Intimacies weren't something they often found time for. Shūsaku was reserved and Narumi was so busy with his own goals that their relationship fell into the background a lot. Shūsaku supported him though and they made do with minimal amounts of romantic endeavours. Though they had their moments and places, they shared a bed and a home. They'd huddle close after training sessions. Narumi often forced Shūsaku to taste test whatever he was cooking, just to have the brief contact with his lips as Shūsaku took it into his mouth. Only to watch as Shūsaku's eyes would display whatever his opinion on the recipe was.

There were always the mornings. Where when Narumi needed to rest to let his body grow stronger. Those moments were he could watch Shūsaku doze in a completely unaware state, watch Shūsaku's serene expression for quite a few quiet moments. It wasn't always like that though, sometimes their demons would invade their dreams and Narumi would wait and watch. Knowing Shūsaku would fight his demon off and then awaken with determination. Narumi would often reward him for being so strong, most of the time that meant staying in bed longer.

Eventually Narumi would begrudgingly leave to make them both breakfast. On several occasions, he'd say for Shūsaku to wait in bed. He rarely listened and instead would wander into the kitchen to watch him cook. Shūsaku said he liked watching the process instead of just receiving the end product. Narumi just complained at him for not listening to him but he couldn't help but actually enjoy being stared at. Small things, not that their family normally had time for large things. Not like this world allowed for such happiness to exist.

His four squad mates were dead, he'd never hear their voice again. He'd never hear Kagiyama mumble or yell. Never hear Yayoi's smooth or determined tones. Rika's kind or firm words. He'd never feel Shūsaku's silence again. Narumi grumbled out loud, his weakness was showing. No, this wasn't a weakness, loosing family was never a weakness. He may be a failure of a squad leader but he never failed them as a family member. Narumi would turn their deaths into strengths and he'd use that strength to keep his new family alive. Besides he couldn't stop just yet, he still had to rescue his family, Guren and now Mirai. Family takes care of family...

He could get used to that motto.

A/N: This ended up being a little less angsty than my last time writing Narumi post-chapter 39. Narumi is adorable and I worry about his sanity. Then I remember he's with a good squad and he had a good leader and family so he'll be okay.
I really like the symbolism between Narumi's and Shūsaku's surnames.
Narumi = The roaring sea
Iwasaki = The stone cape