Chapter 1

Santana Lopez didn't like being at home.

Correction: She liked being at home, just not with the people she lived with. Most 6 year olds enjoyed being surrounded by people, but not Santana. She was different.

Santana lived in a big house in Lima Heights Adjacent with her Mami, her Papi, her 9 year old brother Enrique and her Abuela. Since Mami and Papi were always working, it was usually Abuela who took care of Santana and her brother.

Abuela had come to live with them 3 years ago from Puerto Rico after her husband had died. Santana, being 3 years old at the time, had wanted to welcome her grandmother by staging a tea party. But when she brought Abuela up to her room where she had set up a little table with stuffies and a plastic tea set, she simply scoffed and told her that she shouldn't waste her time with this nonsense.

Later that day, Santana threw out her tea set and never had a tea party again.

For the next two years she did everything she could to please Abuela. She did her chores, wiped her feet on the mat by the entrance so as not to track mud in the house, and even made her breakfast in bed once (bread with butter and some orange juice). But Abuela either didn't notice, or didn't care. Every day, she would serve them dinner at 6 o'clock on the dot, and she would always have a new insult ready for her and her brother.

"You slouch too much!"

"Eat something, you too skinny!"

"Why you don't brush your hair before coming to dinner! People will think I don't take care of you!"

Funny thing was, she only took care of them by the most technical terms. Yes, she fed them, and washed them, and drove Enrique to school, but she never showed them love, or compassion or any interest in what was going on in their lives. There weren't many girls of Santana's age around Lima Heights. In fact, Santana and her brother made up %50 of the children that lived there. Of the other kids, one was a 16-year old boy with more tattoos and piercings than bare skin, and the other was a little girl around 8 years old who lived with her aunt and uncle. Santana had tried introducing herself, but the girl had just kicked her in the shins and ran away.

When she showed Abuela the bruise, she told her to walk it off.

Since there were no kids her brother's age either, it would make sense that they would just play with each other, right? Wrong. Enrique never wanted anything to do with her, and when he did, all he wanted to do was wrestle. Her brother didn't seem to have any friends at school, and he would always come home looking sad. She had tried asking him about it, but he just said, "Leave me alone! It's none of your business!" Since her brother always seemed sad, she would try wrestling with him to make him feel better, but it never seemed to work.

This time, she didn't bother showing Abuela the bruises.

Santana felt really alone.

But whenever she felt sad, or lonely, or abandoned, she would go up to her room and open her big wooden box. The chest had been a present from her aunt Sonya for her third birthday. She had made it herself, and she had painted it pink and purple, which were her favorite colours. And inside the box was a collection of dolls. There were stuffed ones, plastic ones, big ones, small ones, blonde ones, brunette ones. They were all the dolls that Aunt Sonya had collected throughout her life. "Anytime you need a friend," She had said, holding Santana's small face in her hands. "Just open this box and they'll be there for you. Always."

Santana's favorite doll was a tall, brunette Barbie with tanned skin. It had been Aunt Sonya's since she was a little girl. The name on the box had been Samantha, but since Sonya couldn't read when she was Santana's age, she had somehow mispronounced it Snix, and the name had stuck. Santana made up a whole life story for Snix. She had a Mami and a Papi who were always home, and a little sister that she always took care of. She had many friends, and her life was perfect. Snix would always go on amazing adventures around the world, to jungles, or castles, or mystical caves. Santana would pretend that she was Snix. That way she could escape this world and enter one where people cared about her.

Her brother would laugh at her, and Abuela would scoff, but Santana didn't care. Snix was her only friend, the only person she could count on. She would spend all day creating new adventures for Snix. Perhaps today she would go under the sea and rescue a fish with a broken fin! Or maybe she would go in to a haunted house and save a group of kids from some mean ghosts! The possibilities were endless!

One cold day in December, when Santana was 5 years old, Mami and Papi were able to make it home for dinner. This was a big deal in their house, and Santana couldn't wait. They were making idle chitchat comfortably when Papi dropped a bomb.

"Santana, next year, you will be going to kindergarten." He announced.

She dropped her fork. Kindergarten? As in school? She couldn't go to school!

"Papi, I can't go to school! I have to stay home and make up stories for Snix!" She exclaimed.

"Who is Snix?" Papi asked, confused. Santana explained the whole story, and Papi shook his head. "I am sorry, Santana, but I am not neglecting your education so that you can play make believe with some silly doll."

"But, Papi-"

"No buts. You are going to school next year, and that is final." He stated.

Santana didn't speak for the rest of the meal.

That night, after Mami and Papi went to bed, Santana lay awake. How could they do this to her? She couldn't go to school! It was too…different! What would she have to do there? Would she meet new people? Maybe making friends wouldn't be so bad, she thought. No. Snix is the only friend I need.

Suddenly, the door creaked open. Enrique crawled in and sat on her bed.

"So," He started. "Sucks that you have to go to school, right?"

Santana nodded quickly. "I wanna stay home and play with Snix!"

He scoffed. "Not because of your stupid doll! Because school is hell on earth!"

Santana's eyes widened. She had never heard her brother say a bad word.

"Look, you're going to Blue Olive, right?" Santana nodded. That was where her brother had gone. "Well, I'm going to tell you a little secret about that school. The teachers may tell you that it's all fun and games, but that's only true for people that are tough."

She cocked her head to the side. What did he mean by that? "Like those men with muscles in those magazines that Mami is always reading?" She asked.

He rolled his eyes. "No, stupid. Not physically tough. Mentally tough. Like, you don't let anything make you cry, and you're mean to people to get what you want."

"B-but I don't want to be mean to people." Santana said quietly.

"Well, you better, because you know what happens on the first day of school?"

Santana shook her head nervously.

"All of the kids band together, and they pick who they think is the weakest kid, and….they shove their head in the toilet!"

Santana was shocked. So if she wasn't mean and tough, the other kids would shove her head in the toilet? No, she didn't want that! She couldn't go to school now!

"And don't even think about telling Papi," Enrique said. "He won't believe you. He'll think it's just some dumb ploy to get out of going to school." He smiled wickedly. "Well, good night! Sweet dreams!" He said before walking out.

Santana lay awake for hours after that, thought after thought racing through her head. Was she going to be the weakest kid there? She couldn't be…but what if she was? All the kids would shove her head in the toilet! This would all be so much simpler if she didn't have to go to kindergarten. But she wasn't allowed to…what was she going to do?

Then it came to her. If she didn't want her head shoved in the toilet, the answer was simple. She had to become tough.