I was dared to come up with a 'bad ending' for my savior!Noel AU and this is what came out.

I am definitely planning on writing more about this scenario (in which Noel is the one chosen to become the savior, not Lightning) so I must say that this oneshot is NOT included in the 'true timeline' of what I have in mind. This is just a very bad, very sad 'what if'.

That being said, this has spoilers for the ending of LR so, if you're trying to avoid those, you'll want to leave NOW.

Bhunivelze was… gone.

Not dead – can one even truly slay a God? – but the deity wouldn't ever be an obstacle to humanity's survival again.

Or at least, he thought - hoped - it was the case.

Noel wasn't sure of what had happened, if he were to be truthful. Looking up at the almighty being and watching him for a moment didn't offer any explanations either: was he truly dead? Or just in a crystal slumber, bound to wake yet again to threaten mankind?

With a shake of his head, Noel decided that, in the end, it didn't really matter. They had won once. They would win again, should it be required.

Still wondering, he vaguely registered steps growing closer to him. They were many: some light and hesitant, others filled with purpose and unwavering. Then there were Snow's. Thunderous. Noel snorted quietly. That infuriating man never truly changed, in the end.

He envied him.

When God woke him up from his self-imposed crystal nightmare, he had promptly offered him Hope's soul as compensation in turn for his services as the savior. He was quick to accept – maybe too quick, considering how much he preemptively knew of Bhunivelze's cruelty as the goddess Etro's creator – and soon he found himself mere days from the end of the world and with too big of a burden on his shoulders.

Nevertheless, he had vowed to do all that it took to undo his mistakes; to somehow make it up to humanity and – most importantly - Hope for all the hurt and pain and death he had caused. He would see it through-

"Noel?"

- But minutes away from the definite end, Noel knew he couldn't do both. Not entirely. Looking over his shoulder, he quickly checked to make sure everyone was accounted for, which they were. Even Lightning, small and still as intimidating as she had been as an adult as she stood beside her sister. Even Yeul, whom Caius had freed from her fate as a seeress at his insistence that she should be given a chance to live and who had glued herself to Serah's side since then, looking at him expectantly.

Even Hope, unharmed and safe and still in his Academia uniform as he had been the day he died, slowly making his way towards him.

Noel forcefully took a step back.

"Noel…?"

"The time has come that one must make a choice." Caius said over from somewhere behind him, hiding amongst the hundreds of Yeuls that formed the chaos lapping at their shins. "The living do not need a God, but the dead do. A God to protect them, a God of salvation."

"One must become that God." The Yeuls echoed as one. "One must rule over the Unseen Realm and from there, one must look over the cycle of death and rebirth. One must live in the shadows of death."

"… Someone has to take Etro's place." Lightning clarified, glaring past Noel at the older guardian. "So why don't you do it? You held her heart, Yeul her eyes: who better than you to take her place?"

"Would you be willing to offer your sister and your friend as a sacrifice, then? They too were blessed with the Goddess' curse: shouldn't their place be in the dark with us?" Smirking as Lightning and Snow stood protectively in front of Serah and Hope, Caius gave a quick shake of his head. "No, we will not take her place. We are tired. We will vanish with what is left of this world and finally achieve eternal rest."

"Then who-"

"I will." Smiling despite the pain, Noel shook his head. "C'mon, Lightning. Don't look at me that way." He admonished, taking another step back as the earth beneath his boots began to quiver. "You know Bhunivelze had other plans for me besides being the savior. He shaped me and made me stronger with every challenge he put in our way just so that I could take Etro's place when it was time for the world to end. I have to."

"No, you don't." Lightning retorted angrily, the full strength of her glare now focused on him. "You can't just come all this way to give up in the end, Noel. You saved us and we saved you in return, not because we owed you but because you're part of us. You can't just throw that all away and ultimately let Bhunivelze win!"

"Then what do you want to do? If no-one takes Etro's place, the new world we fought to take back from Bhunivelze will just succumb to the same fate as this one. There will be no God then to give us another chance. Please, Lightning. We both knew I would have to do this for a long time now." Don't make it harder than it has to be. "If not me, then someone else has to do it... and I can't do that to any of you.

"Most of you don't even know me. No-one will miss me at the end of the day."

"Yeul will miss you." Hope quickly mentioned and Noel flinched. He knew the other would have something to say about his decision. He knew but- anger? He could take it, violence too, but not the hurt in the other's tone. "She was just freed from her fate and granted a new chance: aren't you her guardian? You're abandoning her.

"What about Serah? Did your journey together mean nothing? Lightning, Mog, even Snow will miss you. I will miss you. So what about us, Noel? Do we not matter to you?"

Still holding onto the other's hands, Noel fought to find the right words to say. He had been so busy saving souls and running all over what was left of the world that he hadn't even thought of what he would - should - say when they finally met again. In the end, only a chocked up apology made it past the tight knot in his throat. "I-I'm sorry." he said, squeezing Hope's hands tighter. "I'm so, so sorry, Hope. You were the only one who had done everything right on their end to save the future and we couldn't even protect you, I'm sosorry. It wasn't fair-"

Seeing the other's face soften as he kept stammering, he only fell silent when he was pulled forward and their lips first met in a chaste, yet firm kiss.

It hurt to be reminded. He knew that Hope knew that too: it didn't take a genius to realize that the older man was counting on it to sway him - to hold him back - but as the massive waves of chaos rose and started to destroy what was left, Noel could only give him a pained smile.

"That is exactly why this is goodbye."

Touching his chest where once shone Eradia of the purest white, Noel saw rather than felt the transition run through him as his heart pulsed with light - once and then twice - before it faded to a dull violet glow. It had been underwhelming in the theatrics but overwhelming in the weight of the responsibility that now lay on his shoulders and, for a brief second of weakness as it all became too much, Noel felt like crying.

He was eighteen.

It felt like yesterday when he had been just a boy, alone and the last of his kind, until his path was set. Did Etro see what would happen? Did the Goddess already know he would be her successor when she let him through the gate?

Was that why he had been saved in the first place?

All he had ever wanted was a future with people in it. How simple life had been back then… But no matter.

Squaring his shoulders, Noel pushed it all back and buried it deep inside. There just wasn't time.

So with a last look at his friends and a swing of his arm, he quickly banished them from the realm, ignoring their protests and cries for the sake of their welfare. They would be alright. Angry and hurt, perhaps they would never forgive him… but they would be safe. And that was enough.

They were going to be reborn in the new world they had secured together and finally get to live, free of Gods and their ulterior motives. He would watch over them and make sure of it.

He was still a guardian deep down, after all.

Soon, he found himself alone, whatever had been left of the world finally having been consumed by the unrelenting waves of chaos. It was dark and empty, save for the crystalized God behind him - a constant reminder of his struggle and new duty.

He was Noel Kreiss, God of Death.

And the cycle of death and rebirth was now his burden.

Time quickly lost its meaning.

Between countless deaths and births, Noel had long lost the ability to feel pain or joy, eventually becoming numb to the inevitably of it all. Too many times had he seen his friends be reborn and die again, some too soon and in too much pain. Too many times did he come in contact with their souls and then pushed them back into the world, knowing with sad certainty that soon enough they would meet again… But as he watched, the apathy slowly became a sharp blade, carving him and tearing his heart apart, bit by bit.

He ached to be selfish, just once.

Cradling the chaos of a soul just returned to the realm of death, Noel let it caress his cheek and flow between his fingers. Hope.

He had died of old age, this one reincarnation. Surrounded by his kids and his wife, he had returned peacefully to his side… But he had seen so many others; so many versions of the man he loved dying that soon the pain became a constant. A Hope who died at birth. A Hope who had sadly been at the wrong place, at the wrong time. A Hope who hadn't even been wanted.

A Hope who had died alone. A Hope who had married.

A soul who had loved countless others through the centuries and none of them were him.

How wrong would it be to keep him…? To keep Hope beside him in that empty space so he no longer would feel lonely?

He didn't even remember the last time he had spoken out loud. He didn't think his voice would work anymore. Would it crack? Would it come out at all?

Perhaps it was just another piece of his humanity, lost in the currents of time.

He didn't want to lose any more.

Just one soul. Just this one, to ease his misery… But as the chaos twisted to take the form of its owner, Noel knew he couldn't do it. He couldn't do that to Hope. He deserved to be happy, not to be caged in the shadows beside him.

In the end, and with one last caress to the cheek of the spectrum, Noel condensed the soul with care and pushed it gently back through the unseen gate. Once more, he watched as Hope was born, red and wrinkled and screaming as he was put in his laughing mother's arms. This was the way it was supposed to be.

Noel had chosen to become the God of Death. Alone.

And so he would be for eternity.