The story that I'm about to tell you now can be thought of as sad by some, or you can say that I got what I deserved all along; but one thing that I want to make clear before we begin is that there is not one day that passes by where I don't think about what I did or rather didn't do-and what I could have done to change the outcomes.
I had always been a selfish girl; I loved money more than family, I was friends with everyone but I betrayed them faster than criminals with guns held to their heads. I was that girl that could go anywhere and still make guys drool and girls sigh with envy. Yes, I was that girl. But I wasn't like that before: before my dad died of a heart attack after he caught my mom cheating on him with a guy who was half his age, before my beloved grandma was killed by a stupid teen in a hit and run leaving me alone to fend for myself. Many blamed my parents for how I turned out, but I don't blame anyone but myself.
Ah... Bad night I thought as I puked the rest of my cheap night into a toilet in a dusty and run-down motel(it's name was lost to me)down the street from the club I stumbled out of. I chuckled as I thought of the look on the old mans' face behind the check-in desk, but suddenly the things I had done tonight all caught up with me and I started to sob. I had a thought that maybe tonight would be the night... The night that I killed myse-but suddenly I was pulled into a hug and I sighed as I inhaled the familiar aftershave and leaned into the his warm embrace subconsciously noticing his strong and calloused hands gently caressing my hair. Relaxed, I whispered a thank you before I drifted to sleep in his sturdy arms but not before I heard him say I love you.
I woke up to the summer sun shining into my eyes. I know I'm at home and I look down to see myself in my old baggy tee. "You're awake." I turned around to find Ryoma my best friend since forever in a simple white tee with washed out jeans but even dressed in that he was like a greek statue glistening in the sunlight. "I thought you might have wanted some coffee." He said, holding up his right hand and making the cup more obvious. But when I reached out my hand to grab the sup, he pulled it away and in a serious tone said, "We have to talk about what happened last night Sakuno! I thought you promised me not to party like that anymore! I don't want to keep finding you lying beside a toilet in some motel or dinner and then have the workers give me looks of pity as I carry you out!" Feeling embarrassed I started to pace back and forth, I clumsily put on my pants and grabbed my shoes as I said, "You can't tell me what to do! I'm an adult now so just leave me alone!" I stormed out, slamming the door in his face, but I knew as I stumbled down the stairs that he would follow. He always did.
As I stepped outside the building, I heard all the bustling sounds of New York City during the morning rush hour but what I didn't notice was the busy cars driving to work. All I remembered next was a flash of white and blue then someone pushed me out of the way of the incoming car. I heard a crash. Then silence. I was vaguely aware of people screaming and yelling at someone to call 911 but I must have been in shock. Gradually, I felt something wet and sticky in my hands and I found myself surrounded by a sea of blood. Ryoma! Ryoma! I thought as I crawled towards him. I shook his lifeless body and yelled for him to wake up. I screamed at him to stop joking and I cried for him to open his eyes; to call my name. I felt others trying to break us apart but I fended them off. I know they'll take him away, I know they'll hurt him so I shrieked at them. I carefully cradled Ryoma's head and gently caressed his handsome face painted with blood. Selfish till the end, I tightly grasped his hands and as the tears ran down my face I whispered. "I love you too."