-Okay, so Sasuke and Naruto are enemies, right? Then why are they working together! Oh, wait, Naruto asked for Sasuke's help? Oh, that makes sense . . . in a different dimension where nothing is correct. And why the hell is Naruto running from Sakura who has a huge needle? Flu-shot, you say? Wait, Naruto's scared of a flu-shot? Oh, god, he's going to be the next Hokage and he's scared of a shot…
Yay! A new fanfiction! But technically, it's going to be a whole bunch mashed together chronically. But this is my first attempt at a comedy, so don't flame me! Please don't.
Chapter One
The Flu-Shot
"HHHHHHEEELLLLLPPPPPPP MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEE! SSSOOOOMMMMEEEBBBBOOODDDDYYY!" (HELP ME, SOMEBODY!)
That horrible, loud, glass-breaking scream was heard all over Konoha as the blonde ninja ran out of the village gates. He kept running and running and running and running until…
BUMP!
"Who the hell—Oh, Sasuke, hi!" He waved to the missing-nin and his team. Then the idiot glanced behind him and saw this trail of smoke coming in the far distance, and his eyes almost popped out of their sockets. "OH MY GOD! SHE'S COMING! SORRY, NO TIME TO TALK! I GOTTA GO! GOTTA GO, GOTTA GO!" He looked both ways, trying to find an escape route.
"Dobe, what are you doing?" Sasuke asked, ever-so-innocently. (A/N: Ha-ha, we know Sasuke's not innocent.)
Naruto didn't answer. He just took a shovel (out of nowhere) and started digging a grave.
"What are you doing?" Sasuke and his team asked this time.
"Hiding." Naruto dived into the hole and covered himself. "If Sakura asks, tell her I went that way." he said through the meter of dirt.
Team Hebi looked at each other and just shrugged. Soon, that trail of dust came near and out came…a pedophile! No, it was just Sakura.
"Okay, now where did he go? That idiot! I'll strangle him, I'll pulverize him, I'll—" She turned around and just stared at Team Hebi—well, mainly Sasuke because he was standing right in front of her. "Oh, well, this is embarrassing…" Sakura could have blushed, but there were more important things to do. "Did you see where Naruto went?"
"Who?" Suigetsu asked, but Sakura had dust in her ears and eyes (well, hello, she was running so fast), so she thought it was Sasuke who said that.
"Oh, wait. Let me translate for you. Ahem. Hn, hn, hn, hn, ah, eh, Naruto, hn . . . and oh, yeah, hn." she said. "Does that make it easier for you?"
"Oh, yeah, perfectly easier." Karin muttered.
"Hey, Sasuke, why do you sound like a screechy bitch?"
"Sakura, do you have sand in your eyes or did you drink a gallon of coffee?" the Uchiha [bastard] asked.
"No" was Sakura's answer. "You—are—just—standing—in—my—way." She poked his chest with every single emphasized word—no, wait, with every single emphasized syllable.
"Sakura, can you stop poking me?"
"No…" she shook her head. "Well . . . tell me where Naruto is and I'll spare your chest from being poked."
"That way." All of Team Hebi answered. It would have been convincing, but they were pointing at all different directions. (Karin was pointing at the sky.)
Sakura just glared at the rogue ninjas and crossed her arms. "No, seriously, guys. I have no time for this."
"Did you try Ichiraku ramen?" Sasuke asked.
"Yes, I tried it already. I know how it tastes." Sakura answered. "I mean, Naruto brings me there almost EVERY—SINGLE—DAY!"
"No, no, I mean the stand."
"Why would I eat the stand?"
Sasuke mentally slapped himself. "Sakura, I think you're spending too much time with Naruto."
"Well, excuse me for wanting to spend time with the only teammate I got left since somebody left to work with a stupid pedophile who probably stole his virginity and since that same somebody nearly killed his replacement."
"You know I didn't mean to kill that snow-white guy. It was an accident."
"Che, right… Accident my ass…"
"What was that?"
"Nothing!" Sakura giggled nervously.
"Why do you need Naruto for anyway?"
"It's flu season," was Sakura's blunt answer as she turned to look in all directions.
"And?"
But Sakura didn't answer. "Now, if I were a stupid ramen-loving fool, where would would I'd be?"
"Gee, I don't know," Karin said, sarcastically. "Oh, wait! Maybe IN A PLACE THAT HAS RAMEN!"
"Quiet, bitch!" Sakura screamed back. "Nobody asked you! Now shut up and be a good quiet little Hinata."
"A WHAT?" Karin screeched.
"Hinata, Hyuga Hinata." Sasuke answered. "She's a quiet girl."
"Oh…"
"Well, anyway, I'll see you guys later." Sakura said, walking off. "Oh, when I find that dobe, I'll kill him! I'll strangle that dirty little neck of his and then I'll boil him and I'll…" Her voice trailed off as she went further and further away from Team Hebi.
"I don't even want to know what she has planned for the sorry fool…" Suigetsu said.
All of Team Hebi nodded their heads in agreement.
"Is she gone?" Naruto asked, suddenly popping out of the ground like a daisy.
"Well…" Juugo was about to say something, but then there was a flash of pink and…
BAM!
Sakura kicked Naruto in the face and sent him back flying. She took out a walkie-talkie and yelled into it. "Cherry Blossom to Mountain Pig, Cherry Blossom to Mountain Pig! I have the victim in sight! I repeat, I have the victim in sight! The place is just outside of Konoha! I repeat, the place is just outside of Konoha! Requesting back-up!"
"This is Mountain Pig," Ino said on the other line. "We got your message. We're sending reinforcements to your location. Just make sure the victim stays within your sight! Reinforcements will be there shortly."
"Affirmative, Mountain Pig." Sakura said. "Cherry Blossom, out!"
"Oh no!" Naruto screamed. "I gotta get out of here!"
"Oh no, you don't!" Sakura screamed, taking out a huge rope and lassoing it around Naruto and then tying the fool up. "You ain't going anywhere! You've caused the whole village too much trouble already!"
"Oh, come on, Sakura! Have mercy!" Naruto pleaded. "Sasuke-teme, come on! Help out an old friend!"
Sasuke sighed. "Sakura, just exactly what did Naruto do?"
"He refused to take his flu-shot, that's what!" Sakura said, stomping on Naruto stomach. "He destroyed mine and Tsunade's offices, made a run for it, got the whole entire ANBU group on his tail, destroyed the main road of Konoha and the gates, and now he's going to pay!"
"Nooooooooo!" Naruto cried. "Come on, Teme! Say something!"
Sasuke turned to Sakura. "How can I help?"
"SASUKE!" Naruto shrieked. "How could you betray ME?"
"Dobe, you're the one who's causing trouble now. I'm not going to help you."
"YOU HEAR THAT, NARUTARD!" Sakura yelled. "SASUKE AIN'T GOING TO BAIL YOU OUT THIS TIME, WHICH MEANS I GET TO CHOOSE WHICH NEEDLE-SIZE I WANT YOU TO GET! AND GUESS WHAT? YOU'RE GETTING THE HUGE ONE!"
"Noooo! Sakura, please! I'm begging you!" Naruto cried on his knees.
"Too late for that, Naruto!" Ino yelled as she and the whole entire Konoha 11 appeared. "You're getting that shot!"
"NO! NO!" Naruto shook his head furiously. "PLEASE NO! PLEASE I'M BEGGING!"
"Hinata, the shot! Administrate it now!" Sakura commanded.
"H-Hai!" Hinata stepped out of the crowd, holding out a huge needle.
"No, no, no! Hinata, please don't!" Naruto cried.
"I'm sorry, Naruto…" Hinata said as she stuck the needle into Naruto's arm. "But this is for your own good!"
Naruto's head slumped forwards after the shot was administrated.
"Anoo . . . is he supposed to do that?" Karin asked.
"Anoo . . . Hinata, was that the correct syringe?" Sakura asked.
"Anoo . . . Lee g-g-gave it to me…" Hinata answered, pointing at the green-spandex wearer.
"Lee?" Sakura asked deadly.
"It is the correct one!" Lee said in a salute. "The cover said, 'S10920IK98HM,' just as you asked, Sakura-san!"
"Anoo . . . Lee?"
"Yes, Sakura-san?"
"It's supposed to be 'S10920IK98HN,' not 'S10920IK98HM'!"
"Oh…"
"Is that bad?" Kiba asked.
"Very because it's a pain reliever with a whole lot of side effects!" Sakura said.
"And one of them would be..?" Sasuke asked.
Naruto's head suddenly popped out, his eyes as big as dinner plates. He looked at Sasuke and began to drool. "Ooh, fried chicken! Let me at it!" And he pounced.
Luckily, Sasuke moved out of the way, and Naruto hit a tree.
"I found the correct syringe!" Shizune's voice was heard in the distance. "I—" She took a good look at Naruto and sweatdropped. "Anoo . . . what happened here?"
"You don't want to know, Shizune." Sakura said. "You don't want to know…"
✿°. ·∴终わる∴· . °✿
°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°
Anoo = um
Okay, I know the ending stunk! But the next chapter shall be better (and longer)! Just wait for it! There wasn't a lot of couplings in here yet, but just wait! Oh, and please review! And read my other fanfictions!
Preview:
"Oh, shit…" Sasuke said as he picked up Sakura bridal-style and jumped out of the HUGE snowball's way. But just when Sasuke thought they were safe, Chibi-Ino big-sized began to punch the tree they were on. (Ino's evil laughter could be heard in the background.)
"I thought they could only throw snowballs, not punches." he said to the kunoichi resting in his arms.
"Well, technically, she's not breaking the rule." Sakura said. "The snowman, regardless of anything, is made out of snow. And Ino herself is not throwing the punches; her snowman-self is."
Sasuke scoffed. "Annoying…"
"EXCUSEZ-MOI!" Sakura shrieked. "DID YOU JUST CALL ME—"
"I wasn't talking about you!"
"Oh," Sakura said, forgetting about her anger. "Then carry on."
"Hn." And then Sasuke carried her off of the tree.
"You're not getting away that easily!" Ino said, chuckling darkly. She moved the controls again, but this time they snapped and broke. "Oops! I guess it really is made out of snow after all…"