Jar Jar Binks and the Fair Maiden of Rothor
Chapter 1: The Predicament
It was a beaitufil day on the Naboo. Jar Jar Binks had just woken up after a long night of sleep. When he got out of his bed Jar Jar found himself to be in a predicament. "Oh moy moy messa gottas big morning wood!" Jar Jar yelled in disbelief.
Jar Jar was so loud that he woke up even his neighbor, Boss Nass, who quickly ran to Jar Jar's house to help his friend.
"Dis is a big bongo messa thinks", said Boss Nass.
"Oh moy, whats messa going to do with dis", said Jar Jar in a very distressed voice.
Boss Nass thought for a very long time. He wanted to help his dear friend Jar Jar. For a while the too Gungans were very silent. In truth Boss Nass was very jealous of his friend. Since Boss Nass was king of the Gungans he had a large harem of Gungan women (and some men too!) to himself, but sadly because he was so fat, he would grow to exhausted after only having sex with two or three of his Gungan concubines. He also had a smell penis.
Then Boss Nass had a bright idea.
"Messa got da bright idea Jar Jar. You must go to the planet of Rothor as Gungan ambassador. They're you will have the sex with the Fair Maiden of Rothor. Surely this will increase the warmness of our diplomatic relationship."
Jar Jar liked this idea. Jar Jar liked sex and Jar Jar had not had sex for a very long time. Once Jar Jar was married to a fine Nabooian woman. But Jar Jar was very clumsy one day and accidently pushed her off the steps of his mansion and into a bucket of acid. It was very sad for Jar Jar.
"Messa will do it Boss Nass, yousa a good friend." Jar Jar packed his bags and got on his space ship to go to Rothor! But he was going to be in a big surpsie!
Chapter 2: Space Pirates and Space Sex
While in space, Jar Jar fell asleep in his spaceship. When he woke up he found that he was not in his spaceship.
"Where is messa at?" Jar Jar yelled out.
"Your in the prison of a space pirate ship" said an old man in a cell next to his.
"Oh moy no! Messa in big trouble then!" yelled Jar Jar. Then Jar Jar looked down and he still had his big boner. Jar Jar realized he was in even BIGGER trouble!
Then the pirate captain walked into the prison.
"Gungan, I have captured you because you have a big boner and I will cut it off and replace my penis with it."
Jar Jar was very scared.
Then out of nowhere a woman bounty hunter came! It was the same bounty hunter that had sex with Jabba! With her big guns she was able to quickly kill three of the space pirates. The space pirate captain tried to surrender, but the bounty hunter ripped of his left arm and beat him to death with it.
"Messa yossa saved messa's life! How can I repay usa?" said Jar Jar.
"With sex," said the bounty hunter. She must have seen his big penis.
Jar Jar responded by making out with her. He wrapped his gungan ear things around her waist too. It was very intament.
Then Jar Jar put his big penis inside of her vagina. They had sex for over 3 hours. It was so beautiful that the old man in the cell next to Jar Jar had a heart attack and died. But he died a happy death with a big boner of his own!
Now the bounty hunter's baby was going to be the son of both Jabba and Jar Jar!
Chapter 3: Royal Engagement
Even after having the sex with the bounty hunter, Jar Jar still had a big morning boner.
Jar Jar soon after arrived to the planet of Rothor and met the fair maiden of Rother.
"Greetings fair maiden, messa Jar Jar binks, messa your humble sex servant." Said Jar Jar.
"Gallant Jar Jar, come with me" said the fair maiden.
The fair maiden took Jar Jar to a large colosseum.
"You must fight for my honor Jar Jar against the royal black knight of Rothor, Shadow" said the Fiar Maiden.
"I will fucking kill you, you stupid fucking fish man!" yelled the Black Knight.
"No messa, you will die!" yelled Jar Jar in defiance.
Shadow, the Black Knight ran towards Jar Jar with his big lightsaber. He thought his would be an easy fight for Jar Jar did not have a lightsaber. But in his hubris he did not notice Jar Jar's big morning boner.
Jar Jar extended his hips up and when Shadow came in for the kill, he was impaled by Jar Jar's penis.
The crowd cheered!
The fair maiden then descended into the coluseem and said to Jar Jar "You have won my honor, now we shall have the sex!"
Then in the colosseum Jar Jar tenderly undressed the fair maiden. It was very romantic. Then he put his penis inside of her. With every pelvic thrust the crowd cheered. It was glorious.
After it was finished, Jar Jar's penis returned to normal. He was very happy. But the adventure wasn't over.
The queen of Rothor was secretly among the crowd. She knew that Jar Jar had to be her new husband. The only problem was that she already had a husband! She secretly called the head of the royal guard, who was her secret lover, to her study. Their they plotted.
The next day seemed like a normal day. It was peaceful and serene. While walking to the royal court with his retainers the king was stopped by what seemed to be like an injured old man in the streets. The king and his retainers came to help the old man.
While helping the old man to his feet, the king felt a sharp pain in his back. In his final seconds he realized that he had not helped up an old man, but instead a cousin who he exiled. Before the retainers could act a mob charged into the streets and clubbed them to death. The mob had seen the sex in the arena and they were supporters of Jar Jar.
The death of the king and retainers were not the only assassinations of that morning. A regime change requires the cleaning of offices. Members of the parliament that were seen as major supporters of the king soon met other grisly ends.
By the afternoon, Jar Jar was already married to the queen, and found himself the king of Rothor! It was fun adventure for Jar Jar!