Words Unspoken
I hate this; I see the hurt in his eyes every time I yell at him or tease him and call him names. I wish I could stop and just tell him how I really feel but I'm deathly afraid of rejection. I'm afraid that we'll end up like my parents stuck in a loveless marriage with a lousy burden like that I am to them. I'm sitting at a tree in the park and pondering this, as I write it down in my diary.
I tell him I hate him that I hate all about him, his hair his attitude and his smile but in reality I love all of those things about him. I wish I could run my fingers through his hair and have him smile at me all the time not just these rare times when we're not fighting, I would love to have an excuse to watch him while he is dancing or playing basketball and stare at those muscles/abs of his.
I wish he was mine so I had an excuse to chase off those fangirls of his. My fanboys definitely don't help my relationship with Nagi they often try to make him stay away from me. I wish that I could make the angst and hurt and pain in those beautiful eyes of his go away when I tell him I dislike him or that I hate him. Now I ask whatever force that there is out there, to give me a sign that me and Nagi were meant to be together.
I closed my diary and stared at the sky it was such a clear blue, just then somebody sat down beside me. I looked and to my shock I saw that it was Nagi, he looked at me and said "Rima-Chan are you okay?" I just nodded and glomped him, he was taken aback but still hugged me back. I felt my heartbeat speed up he didn't push me away or do nothing. I put my head in the nape of his neck and breathed in his scent, he smelled wonderful; I wish I didn't have to let him go but I did and pecked him on the cheek then stood up and began to walk away.
A hand on my shoulder stopped me and turned me around, Nagi, he pressed me against his chest as he hugged me really tight against him, I didn't mind and I could feel his muscles as he hugged me. I wrapped my hands around his waist then he brought a hand to my chin and relaxed the hug, he pulled my chin up and stared in my eyes.
We stared into each other's eyes then he leaned down and captured my lips with his, it took me a little while to realize that Nagi was actually kissing me but I kissed him back with passion. I moved my hands from his waist to around his neck and pulled a bit on his hair as we kissed; I stood on my tippy toes and tried to melt into him, our kiss full of need and unspoken passion, lust and love.
When we finally pulled apart we were breathless but we stayed close together our body's melting into one. I didn't want to let go of him but looked him in the eyes and he was looking into mine he smiled down at me, a smile I had longed to see meant for me and not someone else. I smiled back at him, a smile full of happiness something I haven't done for years these were the words unspoken.