It was just an average day at Kira Task Force Head quarts, when then…it happened.
"Hey L… how are you?" asked Light in a suspiciously cheerful voice. L glared. What was he playing at?
"…good?"
"Good. Say, how about we have sex?" Light nonchalantly reclined in a swivel chair with his arms behind his head, like all other douche bags in anime. Why do they always have to put their arms behind their head? WHY? NORMAL PEOPLE NEVER DO THAT!!!!!!! L merely blinked.
"Excuse Me, Light-kun?" L was praying he had misheard light. Sure, L was very sexually frustrated, and he's imagined doing Light's girlfriend, but Light? Hell no. Nuh uh. He wouldn't hit on that shit with a baseball bat.
"I said, do you want to have sex with me?" Light raised an eyebrow and did some creepy half smiley thingy that he probably thought was sexy but just made him look like a constipated douche bag. Not that he wasn't. He hasn't taken a dump since the seventh grade. But that's a whole other story….
L's mouth dropped open. "Umm…." L wasn't sure how to go with this. Plus, Light wanting to do it with him totally increased L's suspicion by 48.9%. Because L knew from the beginning that Kira was a horny bastard who totally wanted to bone him. Plus, the videos….L shuddered just thinking about the video's Kira sent that one time….
"I'll give you a piece of cheesecake…" Light sangsong.
L sighed.
"Fine. I'll have sexual intercourse with you. Only for the cake. Oh, but on one condition….you must wear a J-Dog Mask, you know, like from that one band Hollywood Undead."
"Meh…fine. But only because I;m a horny douche bag and am too gay to do it with my girlfriend"
And so they had sex. It was sexy sex filled with sexiness and sexual sexy sex things. Like five minutes of sexy sexual sex sex sex. You know, like sexy? But sexy and sexual? And sexilicious. Yeah, you know what kind of sexy sexyful sexual sex I'm talking about? Yeah, I know you know, so stop questioning my logic!