Chapter 1

The rubble covered ground shook as a monstrously huge ship landed, sending a shockwave of vibrations across most of the destroyed city. Raging fires flickered and then regrew quickly as the Reaper landed. Suddenly, a bright ray of light pierced the dark sky, casting an eerie blue shadow across the battlefield. Harbinger and it's enormous sleek body was revealed in the sudden irruption of light. Regaining it's balance, Harbinger let out it's mechanical growl as it scanned the waiting soldiers below.

Fear creeped up Shepard's spine, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. It had taken up until this moment for her to really feel afraid. Not just out of tonight - but in all fifteen years of her time in the Alliance, probably in her entire life. Not afraid for herself - well at least not a lot. But for the soldiers all across the city, civilians on Earth, and her comrades. Her chest felt heavy with her last thought, seeming to press down on her lungs making it hard to breathe. She blinked several times, slow and heavy, before looking just behind her.

Her comrades stood, unmoving, breathlessly watching Harbinger begin it's brute attack. Garrus's beady black eyes were hard, and calculating - attempting to figure out a weak spot. But he also looked like he wasn't sure if he should be in awe or be afraid. James on the other hand - this hit home, just like it did for Shepard. His eyes were big, eyebrows furrowed together, shoulders low. His rifle was almost dangling to the ground, scraping against the rubble as he watched the monster destroy his home.

Shepard chewed the inside of her lip, as the crushing feeling came around again. Clenching her hand into a fist, she heard the scratch of metal on metal and her knuckles cracking.

"We've got to move!" Admiral Anderson shouted over another roar from Harbinger, interrupting Shepard as she tried to collect herself.

Whipping her head around, she watched as the Reaper begin to charge it's highly destructive beam. Swallowing hard, she yelled to her comrades. "Come on!"

Without checking to see if they were following, Shepard jumped off the edge of the mound of rubble she was standing on. Her ankle rolled painfully in her armor as she landed, causing her to stumble forward. Reaching for her dropped rifle, she began to quickly crawl back to her feet. Suddenly, Shepard felt a hand on her elbow, as James grabbed onto her and helped her up. They both nodded to each other in unison before gripping their rifles a little harder and sprinting forward.

They had barely ran five steps before the beam hit the ground just near them, causing an explosion. Shepard avoided it skillfully, gracefully swerving around a pile of rubble. Her feet were heavy though, as they hit the ground, sending painful shockwaves up her legs - making her muscles quiver and knees shake.

The beam neared them again. Shepard threw up her elbow, protecting her face from the harsh explosion. The side of her shoulder clipped her face, the jagged edge catching her cheekbone. Grunting, she kept on running - listening for the echo of her comrades' steps running behind her.

A sudden shadow began to grow across the ground in front of Shepard. Instinctually she dove forward, sliding underneath a flipping Mako. Frantically rolling on the ground, she scanned for James and Garrus. Her mouth grew in horror as she watched the Mako flip head over tail, until landing on it's back in an abrupt explosion right were they had been standing.

"James!" His name ripped out of Shepard's mouth as she threw herself forward, scrambling to the burning Mako. Stepping onto the back tire, she jumped over the edge, almost falling again as she landed awkwardly on the same ankle.

Garrus was pushing himself off of the ground, rifle still gripped in his talons. Other then some scorch marks and a torn piece of armor, he seemed fine. Shepard ran up to him, but he waved her away to Vega. Raising her hand, she double checked with him before dashing to James, who was still laying on the ground.

Her breath was frantic as she grabbed onto his arm, pulling him into her. Slouching under the weight, she walked him over to the front of another discarded Mako - before leaning him against it. Shepard kneeled in front of James, running her hands gently over his dented and battered armor. His eyes squeezed shut in pain, as she grabbed his shoulder. He put his head against the cold metal of the Mako, gritting his teeth.

But as soon as James saw Shepard reach to activate the comm, he grabbed her hand. "I'm okay."

She looked down at his hand, wrapped around hers and gave him a sort of sad smile. "Okay. I know." That feeling began to creep up around her chest again, she tried hard to not wheeze. Shepard had felt uneasy about bringing James along, and had even opted to bring Alenko instead. But she knew it was selfish. Hackett needed the best men on the field out here, and James was amongst them. She wasn't going to deprive him of that because of her own selfish desires and fears. But here he was, bruised and battered - attempting to continue on with a most likely suicidal mission. A knot began to form in her stomach now too, realizing the potential fate of James if he stayed on the battlefield.

Garrus suddenly slide in beside them, taking cover too. Shepard took the moment of distraction and reached for her ear piece. Speaking away from her comrades, she said, "Normandy, do you copy?" She paused, noticing Garrus's watchful look out of the corner of her eye. "I need an evac." As she finished speaking, she looked to both of them again. James had his eyes closed again, clutching his shoulder. But Garrus, he was looking Shepard bang in her eyes. He nodded.

A static rang through Shepard's ears, and the scratch of Joker's voice was barely audible. Suddenly, the sound of an incoming ship filled the sky, covering Harbinger's growls and the roaring of its beam briefly. Whipping her head around, she watched as the Normandy landed on the enormous pile of rubble they had all been standing on just moments before.

A sigh of relief escaped Shepard's mouth, as she grabbed onto James. "Come on." The metal of her armor scraped with his as she wrapped her arm around his waist in support. Garrus ran ahead, meeting the soldiers that had begun to travel down the ramp to cover them. Just as Shepard neared the ramp, she found herself looking up at James.

Noticing he looked over at her, his dark eyes studying hers. "I'm sorry." She breathed, almost choking. He blinked at her in confusion.

"Here - take him," Shepard grunted to Garrus, who flashed her a look, before reaching out and grabbing James's elbow - drawing him up the ramp.

"Shepard?!" Anger flashed across his face, his nose wrinkled up, distorting his scar.

"You gotta get out of here." She said lips pursed and teeth gritted.

"No. Fuck that." His nostrils were flared, eyebrows furrowed.

"James, you are in no condition to fight." She didn't want to plead. And she really didn't want to leave him like this.

"Bullshit!"

"Don't argue with me James." She practically growled at him.

"I can still fight...just...I'm not leaving you behind." Now it was James's who was pleading. His voice hit her hard in the chest, making it hard to breathe again.

She blinked several times, breathing through her nose before she said, "I... I need to know somebody's getting out of this alive."

James looked down, chewing his lip and shaking his head."Shepard, I...," He threw his one free hand up in the air, and gave her a sad look. "Good luck Lola." His voice broke.

Shepard swallowed hard, "You too James."

The rumble of Harbinger's beam snapped her back to reality. Whipping her head back, she watched as the Reaper began to step forward, shaking the ground. "Go!" She pointed her fingers at James, taking him and his outstretched hand in once more before turning away.

Drawing her assault rifle, she clutched it to her chest before taking off again. The sound of the Normandy lifting off behind her was a sweet noise, that was soon replaced by the sound of the Harbinger's beam recharging for another hit. Rolling to avoid another destroyed Mako, Shepard fell to the ground hard. She scrambled forward, her fingers trying to find purchase - but the rumble crumbled in her fingers. The omniscient sound of Harbinger's growl echoed in Shepard's ears, and her vision was filled with a blinding white light.

Pink circles dotted the inside of James' eyelids. He stayed still for a moment and watched them dance, before throwing his eyes open. Bright, sterile lights caused his pupils to shrink rapidly, and he was left slightly dazed as his eyes readjusted.

He drew in a ragged breath as he looked around him. He was in the Normandy's med bay, laying on one of the beds. Moving to get up, he felt a slight tug at his wrist and he looked down to find a thin, clear tube running into it. Squeezing his hand into a fist he watched as the veins in his hand bunched out and turn a deeper blue.

Pushing himself up more carefully, this time, he used his elbows to brace himself. A jolt of searing pain went through his shoulder, causing him to cry out. He almost collapsed back into the bed, but the sound of footsteps caused him to bite down on his tongue and push himself up until he was slouching forward.

"Oh, Lieutenant you shouldn't be up." Doctor Chakwas voice echoed throughout the med bay as she rushed through the doors to his bed.

He stared down at his boots, hunching his shoulders forward. "What happened?"

"You dislocated your shoulder and fractured your femur during the final charge against Harbinger. The Normandy was called for an evac, and now we are stationed just outside the Citadel right now - waiting for Admiral Hackett's next orders." Chakwas didn't look at James while she spoke, checking the IV bag next to his bed.

James closed his eyes, trying to think. He didn't remember a thing. "Who.. who called the evac? I don't remember."

"You suffered some head trauma, so that's not surprising. Commander Shepard did Lieutenant. She got you to the Normandy before you passed out in the Shuttle Bay from the pain." She moved her eyes to her omni tool now, monitoring James's vital signs.

"Oh fuck." A flash of memories went through his closed eyes, his teeth clenched together as he remembered arguing with Shepard to let him continue fighting. "She's still out there isn't she?"

Chakwas's tender eyes met his finally. The old woman pursed her lips together, nodding.

"Oh mierda." James mumbled, a sinking feeling forming in his gut. "Has anyone heard from her-?"

She shook her head before he could even finish his sentence. "I don't know James." It was the first time she hadn't formally addressed him. "I can get Joker on the comm for you, but I need you to lay back down. Please." Her hands had grabbed his forearm gently, pushing him back down.

James obliged, slowly laying back down putting his weight on one side of his body, caressing his injured shoulder.

"I'll let you speak to Joker privately if you want, just don't go anywhere. I need you to stay put." Chakwas's tone was stern, shaking with a strange authority.

James swallowed, before nodding. He wasn't sure if he was going to be able to keep that promise - no matter his condition.

Chakwas let out a sigh, before nodding too. She left without a word, grabbing a datapad before gliding through the sliding doors.

James sat up as soon as he saw the doctor past the window that looked into the med bay. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and hunched forward putting his elbows on his knees. There was a moment of silence before a familiar voice filled the room.

"Vega?"

"Joker," James almost jumped out of the bed at the sound of his friend's voice. "Talk to me."

Joker's sigh caused the comm to crackle slightly. "James I- I don't know. We are all in the dark right now. I don't like this." His voice was shaking.

"We need to find her Joker." James was glad that he was speaking through the comm and not in person. He wasn't sure if he was going to be able to keep it together.

"I know. I know. I want to too but-," A beep interrupted Joker, cutting him off. "Hold on." A long silence filled the med bay, as James waited for Joker to speak again. "I just spoke with Hackett."

"Okay?" James was standing now, leaning up against his bed, clumsily holding onto the IV stand to keep balance. His leg almost buckled under his weight as he listened.

"Admiral Hackett just lost contact with Shepard. He wanted to know if we had could contact her. She's MIA now."

James knuckles turned white as he gripped the IV harder. "Where did he hear from her last?"

"On top of the Citadel Tower." James heard Joker let out a loud breath through the intercom.

James fumbled with his IV tube, before ripping it out. Stumbling forward, his hands dug through drawers of medical supplies before he found a packet of medi gel. Ripping it open with his teeth, he rubbed some on his wrist and under his shirt as close to his tender shoulder as possible.

"James?" Joker spoke again, waiting for a response.

The medi gel spread a warm feeling across James's upper body, taking the edge off slightly and making his jaw relax from gritting his teeth. Throwing the medi pack on to the floor, he almost blurted out, "Look, I know you won't like this but I need you to get me onto that Citadel." James swallowed, bracing himself for a negative response.

"Done."

James's ears perked up. He didn't think it would be that easy. "Really?"

"Shepard's my best friend. I'm not going to leave her behind. No way." Even though James couldn't see his face, he knew Joker was dead serious.

Moving his hand up, James rubbed his face in relief before running his fingers through his hair.

"I can get you as close to the Citadel as possible, but you're going to have to get down to the Shuttle Bay and get the Hammerhead fired up, okay?" Joker's instructions were quick and clear. Vega was already limping towards the med bay doors before Joker was even done speaking.

"James?" James wasn't sure if it was the comm crackling or Joker's voice breaking. "Good luck."

"Buena suerte Joker," James said, trying to sound as genuine as possible. He couldn't help but feel bitter to the phrase. Good luck. Out of all the things he was feeling that's what he choked out to her. Maybe it was because he hoped that it wouldn't be his last chance to talk to her.

The med bay doors slid open, and James slipped his head through first to make sure the path to the elevator doors was clear. Limping forward, he gritted his teeth as he avoided putting too much pressure on his supposedly fractured leg. The sound of footsteps behind him caused James to increase his pace. He practically threw himself around the corner and into the elevator, avoiding whoever it was.

James rested his forehead onto the cold, metal surface of one of the elevator walls - giving himself a moment to catch his breath. His fingers gripped his thigh, attempting to relieve some of the pain as he turned towards the console in the elevator. As much as he hated to admit it, he hurt. How he was going to be able to get back into his armor and down to Shepard he wasn't sure. But there wasn't anything or anyone that could stop him. He wasn't going to let her slip away from him. No way. James stretched out one of his arms, trying to reach the console without moving from his place up against the wall.

The elevator jerked down, not riding as smoothly as it usually did. Either way, James let out a sigh of relief - he was almost there. Clenching his fists together he waited in anticipation for the doors to slide open to reveal the shuttle bay.

The sound of the doors sliding open echoed throughout the Shuttle Bay, that was eerily empty. The soldiers that had filled the room before were now deployed. Probably dea-. James stopped himself from finishing his thought. "Esteban?" James called out, limping into the familiar room.

There was a sudden clanking of metal on metal, causing James to flinch slightly. Peering around the upgrade table, James saw Steve sliding out from underneath the hammerhead, his dirty hands streaking against the side of it.

"Vega!" Steve scrambled up, meeting James half way. The two clasped hands before pulling each other into a hug. James winced slightly, gritting his teeth. Steve's eyebrows furrowed with concern, before James shook his head at him.

"Esteban I'm fine." James wandered over to his locker and began pulling out his armor, piece by piece, with one hand. Each one clanked loudly onto the ground as he reached for another. Once they laid in a pile, James began to pull them on, avoiding eye contact with Steve as he struggled.

"You can't go by yourself." Steve began, stopping for a moment when James shook his head again. "I don't care what you say James!"

"You're not stopping me." James growled, moving to meet Steve face to face, his helmet clutched in his hand.

Cortez swallowed, stepping back first. "Just let me speak. Please."

"I'm listening." He turned around, loading up his assault rifle and pistol to his back holsters.

"Kaidan's already in the hammerhead. He'll fly with you. Joker called us on the comm after you. I know you want to do this - I want you to do this. But you can't do it alone. What if Shepard needs medical attention? You can't fly the hammerhead and take care of her, you -"

James caught his rant. "Hey, hey Esteban." He grabbed onto Steve's shoulders, before nodding to him. "Thank you. Thank you." They both gave each other fast nods.

The moment was broken as the hammerhead suddenly fired up. "Okay! She'll get us where we need to be - she took a lot of damage, though." Kaidan called out of the sliding doors of the shuttle. "If we are gonna do this Vega, we gotta do it now." He was already in full gear, his omni tool out and ready to go.

James chewed his lips. "Yeah. Okay." His fists were clenched as he climbed on the hammerhead.

"I'm gonna fly if that's okay." Kaidan said, sliding into the pilot's chair. "You're track record ain't too hot." He gave James a cheeky smile, attempting to make him laugh.

James didn't reply. He just stared at the shuttle bay doors, his breath shallow.