One shock. Two shocks. Three shocks.

My body was beginning to convulse and my vision was terribly blurred. My memory was fading and I was soon forgetting how I came to be here. Strapped to this chair and forced to take electric shocks straight to my skull. I wasn't insane. Why was I here?

One month before:

Mother sat me down on the couch, a few minutes before she told me that we needed to talk. She didn't sound too serious…why, just a couple of moments ago she was smiling and hugging me. It wasn't anything serious.

She threw her body onto the couch, seeming exhausted from whatever endeavors she perused today. She let out a small sigh and touch her forehead with two fingers.

"Norman, I'm worried about you."

"I know mother, but you shouldn't be. Everything is under control. I mean, I don't even go to school anymore. I am practically here all the time!" I laughed, the situation felt relaxed until her face became sterner. More…serious.

"I want to help you. I'm scared for you and for me. I went to Colonial Heights psychiatric hospital and-"

I clenched my fists into the couch. I tried to hold back as much anger as I could and my jaw was clenched so tight it began to hurt, "You what? Is that where you've been all day? When you said you were running 'errands' Oh, I see." I couldn't look at her anymore, I fixated my gaze onto the floor. I felt betrayed.

"Norman, these people can help you! They-they aren't like that therapist! Gosh, no! They are professional and they know what they are doing." She placed her hand on my thigh and caressed it very lightly – she was scared to touch me.

"I don't need help, I just need you. Remember? It's always just been me and you."

"I know but you need help, help that I cannot give you Norman."

I turned my head to finally face her and she was scared, her look was no longer stern. She seemed terrified. Terrified of what my reaction would be? Or just terrified of me in general? I didn't know anymore. My emotions were running all over the place and the only thing that seemed to be conscious was my anger.

"So you've given up on me?!" I rose from the couch with my fists still clenched together.

"No, Norman! It's the opposite of that! I care about you and I want to help you!" She rose from the couch as well. I saw that she was shaking and it seemed she didn't know what to do with herself, so her trembling hands straightened out her skirt, "I've already gotten you a room. You're leaving tomorrow at eight am."

"Oh no, mother, I'm not going anywhere!" My anger was taking control. I saw her flinch and retreat back. It was no wonder she wanted to send me off to a crazy house, why, I was beginning to realize the situation. But that didn't mean I was going.

"Norman, you don't have a choice! You're going!" She stepped closer to me and it also seemed like her anger was taking control. She was done playing the sweet and caring mother role, it was time to take action, "You need help! You black out and- and you don't know what you do! So you're going and that's the end of it!" She waved a finger a few inches from my face. She always does that.

My anger was still very much alive but now my other emotions were starting to slip through. What was I going to do without mother? She was my entire world and the whole reason I was still here. How am I supposed to cope without her? How am I supposed to go along in life without her by my side? I was scared now, and it was showing.

"Mother, you're being ridiculous! What about you? I'll never get to see you!"

"They have visiting hours and days, sweetie. I'll get to see you as often as I want to." Her voice was calm again, her anger seemed to be over shortly considering I had shown another emotion of my own.

"But, it won't be the same. Mother, you're my whole world."

"And you're my whole world Norman. That's why I'm doing this, that's why I'm getting you help. Please, for us?" She stepped closer to me. Her heels lightly clicking onto the wood floors. She placed her right hand on my cheek and looked into my eyes. I always hated when she looked at me this way…with those beautiful and enchanting blue eyes. I would always give in to anything she wanted when she looked at me this way. And maybe it was for the best? The best thing for us.

"Okay, Mother. You're right."

I smiled slightly and held her hand that was placed on my cheek. She smiled in return, that smile that shows all of her gleaming white teeth and turns my heart into another emotion other than anger or sorrow.

"Thank you, sweetie. This is going to be good. I promise!" She stepped back and clapped lightly. "You should start packing soon. I'll help if you need me to, honey." She let out another smile. This one seemed forced. It didn't seem thrilled or enlightened like before. I could see behind that smile. That smile was worry and doubt.

"Of course, Mother."