The Rage Beat
By: Shikibu Murasaki
Disclaimers: Gravitation does not belong to me. It belongs to the very talented Maki Murakami whom I also love and adore and is my favorite mangaka. (Although as other people seem to think I like Minekura-sensei better, that is wrong) I'm not earning anything for this fic. And I think I can live with that. If it's THIS fun.
Author's Note: Thank GOODNESS! It's been a long time since I wrote a Gravitation fanfic. I hope I hadn't lost my touch and that I can still get the hang of it. Anyway, I would just like to note that there is another OC insertion here, as you remember that from the summary. Uhm… nothing serious but a few swear words here and there, maybe. I'd appreciate some reviews and readings.
Here we go.
Chapter One
Silence Is Easy
Even the sound of the grandfather clock was annoying to him as it was ticking on the wall. He sighed as his golden eyes glanced around his room. The piles of manuscripts on his table, the coffee mug had been there for two hours and he had not gotten up yet to fill it up again, which was a surprise even to himself. He took a deep breath and took off his reading glasses, polishing them a bit with the cloth of his shirt. He looked up and saw that it was a few minutes past ten o'clock. The room was seemingly quiet except for the ticking of the wall clock. The light was a little dimmed. He frowned to himself as he tried to fix it a bit. He looked in front of him, already on the last chapter. He was a few moments away from saving it and calling it a day and a few hours from now, he'd slap the newly written romance novel into one of his publisher's face. That would've assured him a few months off, of course. Until he would have to write a new one. All he had to do was finish this one.
And he had been trying to do that for a full hour now and nothing was coming into mind.
He scowled a bit as he leaned back, putting his glasses back on. Staring at the blank page on his laptop, it seemed almost hopeless. He was usually good at making relationships end in his stories and he couldn't figure out what was so different about this one. He already had something in mind earlier, but the more he wrote and focused on another chapter, the more vague and unclear it began to be. Until it was totally gone in his head. Was he supposed to kill her off? Was he supposed to kill him off? Maybe he would just make a meteor land on the both of them and end the world in some way? God knows he was willing to do just that to get the stupid story off his back.
He shook his head as he got up and picked up his coffee mug, his slippers brushed against the marble floors of his house as he opened the door and stepped out. The living room was as quiet as it was in the study. He looked around. Everything was in place, the chairs, the carpet, the table. He headed onto the kitchen where the coffee maker was. Maybe another re-fill would clear his nerves and bring back the desired ending into the story. Tomorrow was the deadline and he had to work fast.
As he took another step towards the kitchen, he stopped to pause. Looking back at the small table in the middle of the living room. It was cleared if it weren't for one familiar mug that was by the side – it wasn't filled with anything. Though there were still dregs of coffee from when it last was. He studied it for a moment, looking up at the clock again. Now only five minutes before ten thirty. There were slippers by the doormat that didn't belong to him. The couch was empty and the magazines were still scattered a bit on the floor as they were the day before. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and sighed.
Yuki! Tadaima!
He shook his head and opened the door to the kitchen. Things will continue to be quiet for the duration of the night and he hopes so. He didn't want anyone disturbing him and any slight distraction or loud noise would be absolutely unforgivable.
He shut the door to the kitchen.
Shuuichi paused, his pen stopped scribbling on the half crumpled piece of paper for a moment. He looked up as a few people passed by the room he was in. It was a few minutes away from ten thirty and not much people were in the building. Some of the musicians were already taking their leave, calling it a day. The only people who would be left were the managers and producers. He heard Sakano and K talking about it earlier. It was for the upcoming Music Fest by the end of the month. It should've been a very busy month for all of them, and truthfully, he should've been very cheerful and excited about it. But somehow, he couldn't find the energy for it. He sighed again as he leaned back on his chair, about three empty cans of soda by his side. He saw the paper again, only a lousy sentence on it even after two and a half hours of sitting there, staring into empty space with the blotting pen in his hand. He sighed and put it down for a moment, running a hand through his hair.
''This is no good…'' he said to himself. ''I've been sitting here and nothing's coming.''
He wished he could disappear.
The thought dawned to him and his eyes widened. He moved back, the feet of his seat screeching slightly on the floor as he moved his chair backward. Why did he feel so tired? Was he that tired that it drove him to think these thoughts? He looked outside the window as it was already dark and it must've been freezing cold out there. He didn't know whether he should've gone home or not. He had bitten off more than he can chew this time, both of them. After this fight.
He and Eiri had another fight. Well, he really wouldn't call it a fight, as it was the usual Eiri being moody again due to his writer's block and taking it out on him again. Things usually got ugly after that, and he would always end up either being sent out or being shut out completely from his lover's hearing. Which meant the door being slammed on his face and being left outside the study, pondering exactly what he did wrong this time around.
Though these things were always reconciled in the end, and Eiri Yuki would go back to his quieter and comparatively speaking, more gentle side. It was considered a rare moment – and Shuuichi enjoyed it to the best that he could. Though, it's not that he minded Eiri's true self. In fact, he had already come into terms with it and had accepted it just fine. Though he wished that sometimes, it wouldn't be the same old formula. He loved Eiri, he would take as much as he could. But sometimes, it hurt too much.
It became unbearable for the most part.
But he knew he could never really hate his lover for it. And that was his personal curse. He accepted that fact long time ago. Whenever Eiri would get mad, it was always something he did. He was always the one who did stupid things. The last thing he wanted to do was upset his lover in any manner and he would always hate himself because he always ended up doing it.
Now he was starting to wonder if his presence was helping the novelist any better. Maybe he was just a distraction all along.
He sighed deeply and shook his head.
Just then, the door opened Hiroshi and Suguru both stepping inside the room, they seemed to be equally happy that day. Smiles on their faces as they conversed on about the gig last night. Hiroshi had the newspaper in his hand. Shuuichi looked up momentarily before he sighed and shook his head again.
''Ah, Shuuichi – there you are! Have you heard? –'' Hiroshi paused and then blinked, already noticing the glum aura around his best friend. He paused for a moment, already knowing what it's about without Shuuichi having to say anything.
Meanwhile, Suguru paused and blinked once – he turned to Shuuichi, also noting how down he looked. ''Shindou-san? What seems to be the matter.'' The youngest member of Bad Luck turned to see the pieces of crumpled paper all over the desk and the floor. He was starting on a new one, which seemed to have more erasures than there were words.
''Is that the lyrics for the new song?'' Suguru asked as he took a seat across their vocalist. Shuuichi continued his somber mood as he nodded.
''What happened with Yuki-san again?'' Hiroshi sat down beside him and looked at him. He didn't bother to pretend he didn't know. He preferred he be honest with Shuuichi so he could help – which was usually by listening to him rant on.
But this time Shuuichi paused and shook his head. ''I made him mad again.'' His tone was soft and almost lifeless. It sounded nothing like the Shuuichi Shindou they knew at all. Suguru paused to listen as he watched Hiroshi patiently wait for answers.
''Did you make too much noise while he was working?'' Hiroshi started his check-list of 'what could possible make Eiri mad enough to kick Shuuichi out of the house' – he had a mental note of the things, the source was from listening to all of his best friend's stories and rants about arguments they've had in the past. The one he mentioned was almost always the reason.
Shuuichi nodded. ''He wasn't feeling well when I came home last night. He had a headache, but I kept wanting to cheer him up – so I tried to talking to him.'' He hung his head in shame as he took a deep breath. ''I guess it just made things work.'' He sighed again. ''I always mess things up with him and I.''
''It's not always your fault, Shuuichi.'' Hiroshi hated it most of the time when Shuuichi would put himself down. Plus it was always his job to snap him out of it. ''Sometimes, Yuki-san can get a bit too moody, when it happens – he gets carried away. Besides, you know he doesn't hate you, really –''
''I know that!'' Suguru was surprised by Shuuichi's sudden tone. But calmed down as the vocalist cast his eyes down again. ''I can't hate him either – I just want to stop being a burden to him, really. I don't want him hurt…''
''You're not hurting him, Shindou-san.'' Suguru said as he looked up, his tone was as-a-matter-of-factly, as always. But he seemed to be considerate and careful as he spoke. ''Maybe this time around he's hurting you – it also interferes with the way you work with things.''
''Don't blame Yuki!'' Shuuichi slammed his palms on the table. ''It's not his fault! He's just really working hard!''
''I wasn't trying to make him look bad, Shindou-san.'' Suguru continued. ''But I was stating a fact about your condition. Everyone is concerned about you, don't you know that?''
Shuuichi paused and then sighed, his brows easing up and the frown disappearing from his face.
Hiroshi sighed and patted him on the back. ''Maa, Maa. Calm down a bit, Shuuichi.'' He paused and then took a deep breath. It was time to snap a bit of sense back to his friend, or at least offer a bit of a solution. ''I don't know Yuki-san like you do, but from the way I see things – I think he's starting to think about what happened between you two already. He'll probably be sorry in his own way.''
Shuuichi looked up at him with big hopeful purple colored eyes. ''Really!''
Hiroshi now noticed that enthusiasm has crawled back into his best friend. Though he was careful to make sure that Shuuichi wouldn't get carried away. ''Yeah. I'm sure – just give him some time, you know talk to him when it's –''
But it didn't seem to work as Shuuichi jumped off his seat, now with a smile on his face. He clenched his fists and nodded. ''Great! I can call him and talk to him about it now! I'm sure he misses me already anyway!'' he then raced out the door.
Hiroshi paused and then sighed, shaking his head as he looked at the doorway where Shuuichi once was.
''Was that such a good idea, Nakano-san?'' Suguru asked, staring at the same space.
''You know what? I sure hope it was…''
Cameras flashed everywhere and the voices of journalists throwing questions all at the same time. They all gathered around him as he stepped out of the limousine, he looked at them and nodded – even smiled at the most of them. He shook hands with those who extended their own. Waving to the cameras that took his picture – he was stopped by a few microphones, waving his bodyguards away from him as they tried to take him away from the press.
''Slow down, Slow down.'' He told them as he shook his head. ''We're not in a hurry.'' He turned to the press and smiled. ''Fire away, I've got time to answer a few.''
''How does it feel selling over a million copies of your new single after just two weeks of it's release?'' a female reporter managed to ask.
''I've got to tell you, it feels great.'' He answered with a nod and a slight grin. ''It's kind of strange, though.''
''Strange? What way do you mean?''
''Well, when I was part of the literary guild, I would've been lucky enough to get ten thousand yen for a poem.'' He laughed and shook his head. ''Now that I'm doing this, a lot more than I bargained for is shoved towards me. I really am grateful.''
More pictures of him were taken as he smiled and turned to answer another question when a voice echoed from behind him.
''Of course, I'd expect your arrival to cause quite a stir, Masaki Taro-san.''
Taro looked up and turned to see a familiar man walking towards him. The mere sight of him sent even more cameras flashing and more questions thrown by the press.
''I wouldn't be here without your help, Seguchi Touma-sacho.'' Taro answered with a smile and a nod.
Touma smiled in his usual way as he nodded back with respect. He looked towards the cameras and smiled for a bit, nodding to the reporters before he approached Taro.
''I'm sorry. I know you all have a lot of questions for Masaki-san – but I'm afraid he has other things to attend to.'' Touma addressed the reporters with a slight nod. ''Right this way please, Masaki-san.''
Taro and Touma made their way inside the building.
''Thank you for having me, really, Touma-san. It's such an honor.''
Touma smiled and shook his head. ''I give credit when it's well deserved.''
TSUZUKU
Reviews and Comments? Please do. I'd like to know what you think I should do with it or how I should improve it.