Rurouni Kenshin Outtakes
By Aya Honey
Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rurouni Kenshin characters. But it'd be fun if I did.
Warning: Another fic that doesn't make any sense at all…
Scene when Seijuurou Hiko is about to attack Kenshin with the Kuzu-Ryu-Sen for Kenshin to learn the Amakakeru Ryuu-no-Hirameki
Seijuurou: Prepare yourself, Kenshin. (He starts his attack)
Seijuurou: Hiten Mitsurugi-ryu. Kuzu-Ryu-Sen
Kenshin: I still can't… I won't die!
The two of them attack at the same time.
Seijuurou: Good blow…
Kenshin: Yours was good too…
Seijuurou: ···
Kenshin: ···
The two of them fall to the ground, with blank eyes
Director: Kenshin… Seijuurou... What happened to you guys?
Staff man: Um… sir… (He's near the two of them) I think that both of them are dead…
Director: What? Noooooooooo….! (Then falls to the ground unconscious)
Scene when Shishio is about to attack the battered Kenshin in what it seemed their last attack
Shishio: Aaah! (He is running with his sword in hand)
Shishio: Waaa!(He trips with his bandage and falls)
Kenshin: ··· Oo;
Sanosuke: Did you see that? Ha ha ha ha! (Points Shishio with his right hand while the other is grabbing his stomach because he is laughing too hard and has tears on his face)
Shishio: ···! (Lifts up his head looking at Sanosuke and veins begin popping in his forehead and head) ÒÓ
Sanosuke: Ooops! O.O
Saitou: Idiot…
Director: Hey, Shishio, you can't kill him! Hey, Shishio stop! Aahhh!
In the background Shishio is chasing Sanosuke with sword in hand.
Scene when Kamatari is about to fight Kaoru and Misao, talking of his great love for Shishio
Kamatari: That's why I love him so much, and that's why I'll fight you and defeat you. Because if I do that, Shishio will love only me and forget all about that ugly Yumi…
Yumi: Who says I'm ugly? And who says he will ever love you! Just look at you, you aren't even a woman!
Kamatari: What did you say! What matters here is the feelings and how much you are useful to MY Shishio-sama! And in that, I greatly surpass you!
Yumi: What did you say… you gay man! And he's NOT YOURS, but MINE!
Kamatari: What you already heard, you… you weak ugly woman!
The two of them start facing up, their foreheads together, each of their eyes capable of kill each other, and veins popping in the back of their heads.
Director: Hey, you girls, well, I mean, you two! Stop fighting! We have an anime to make!
Shishio: Those are my girls… (He has a visible smirk on his face)
Director: I really wonder sometimes if he's a bi…
Scene when Tomoe is in Kenshin's lap dying (Take one)
Kenshin: Why…? Why did this happen…? (He's crying)
Tomoe: Well, that's because… because…
Director: Cut! What is wrong, Tomoe? Did you forget your part?
Tomoe: Um, well, yeah… Kind of… Let's try it again, okay?
Scene when Tomoe is in Kenshin's lap dying (Take two)
Kenshin: Why…? Why did this—huh? (He stares wondering at Tomoe)
Tomoe: ··· (Starts giggling)
Director: Cut! Tomoe, what is wrong with you?
Tomoe: Oh, sorry. It's nothing. I promise I won't do that again.
Scene when Tomoe is in Kenshin's lap dying (Take three)
Kenshin: Why…? Why did—huh? Hey! Tomoe!
Tomoe: (She's laughing very hard) I… can't … ha ha… help… ha ha ha it! This situation… ha… somehow… is so funny… to me…ha ha
Kenshin: (Looking amused) This is the first time I see Tomoe laugh like this…
Director: Why! Why did you have to start laughing in this scene! Couldn't it be in another situation! Aaaahh!
Scene when Tomoe is in Kenshin's lap dying (Take four)
Kenshin: Why…? Why did this happen? (He's crying)
Tomoe: ··· (Her shaky hand makes her way to Kenshin's cheek with a knife, and is about to cut Kenshin's face and make his X scar, when…)
Kenshin: Hey, stop right there! I already have this ugly scar in my face, and you still want to make another? No way!
Director: Aahh, Kenshin, damn you and your vanity! This isn't fair… (He starts crying)
Scene when Soujirou and Kenshin are fighting for the first time
Kenshin: AAHH! (He goes running sword in hand to attack Soujirou)
Soujirou: With that I'm afraid you won't defeat me. (He says that with his typical smile on his face, and makes a swing with his sword, attacking Kenshin)
Kenshin: This can't be—argh! (His sword breaks in two and the broken part of it goes flying stabbing Kenshin's chest)
Kenshin: ··· (Lays unconscious on the ground)
Soujirou: (Goes near where Kenshin is) Um, Kenshin-san… are you alright? Kenshin-san?
Director: Call the ambulance! It'd be really better for him to survive, or else Soujirou… I'll let Kamatari take your role!
Soujirou: What! Oo
Kamatari: Really Director? I promise that I will make it better than HIM! (He points to Soujirou)
Soujirou: Director! You can't let that (Pointing to Kamatari) QUEER guy go taking my place! (Speaking to Kamatari) You'll only ruin this show!
Kamatari: Say what!
The two of them start fighting with their weapons.
Director: The reason for them to fight is weird… Come to think of it they are WEIRD… (Then he suddenly realizes something) ! O.O Hey! Don't kill each other!
Scene when Kenshin finds Kaoru's lifeless body on the dojo during the fight with Enishi
Kenshin: No… Kaoru-dono… Kaoru… (Starts crying)
In the background… Sanosuke and Megumi suddenly found what happened too… They have shocked faces.
Sanosuke: What…! Kaoru is dead…
Megumi: Kaoru… dead…
Sanosuke: Jou-chan… is dead?
Megumi: Dead… (She's totally shocked)
Sanosuke: Wait a minute… (Goes where the corpse is and takes a better look at it) Hey! This isn't Kaoru!
Megumi Kenshin: What!
Sanosuke: This one is just too beautiful to be really her…
Megumi: Yeah… Now that you mention that, you got a point…
Suddenly, someone appears…
Kaoru: WHAT. DID. YOU. SAY? (She really looks pissed off)
Sanosuke: See? I told you guys she wasn't dead!
Kaoru: Sanosuke! (Starts hitting him with her bokken)
Sanosuke: ··· (Lays motionless on the ground all bruised and with bumps on his head)
Enishi, Kenshin, Saitou, Yahiko, Jin-Eh, Shishio: ··· OO; (They all look freaked out and make a way to Kaoru to pass)
Enishi: She's scary… Oo; I really admire you Battousai for surviving all this time you've come to live with her… How did you do that?
Kenshin: I still don't know… -;