Disclaimer: Pas mienne. Bah.
A/N: Reviews make me happy. And beware- Garret angsty stuff.
Shattered
You know you want to.
Garret scowled. Dark brown eyes glared fiercely at the bottle of scotch on his desk and the lone piece of paper beside it. Five minutes had gone by since he had printed it out, and he still made no move to get up and deliver it. So he sat completely motionless, gaze trained steadily at the two representations of the things that had without a doubt, clearly taken over his life.
It was official. He was at the end of his rope. Standing at the edge of the cliff, ready to step off. He just wasn't sure how to end it all.
Easy, he thought, lost to the world around him. It would be so easy. Pills, a gun… hell, he could even drink himself into total oblivion, no problem.
Death by scotch.
He laughed, a short, bitter laugh that echoed back to him in the small, deserted office. The blinds were shut, lights off, all except for dim lamp, and the light streaming in from under the closed door, providing him with the privacy he so desperately sought. Solace, solitude. His safe haven; his castle.
The long-hidden corner of his mind crept out and he supposed, for a minute, that if it was possible for a human to change into an animal with the same personality, he would most definitely be a turtle. If something went wrong, he'd hide away in his shell and never come out.
Like the coward he was.
This was shit. He had nothing to lose. So what was keeping him from putting the gun to his head and pulling the goddamned trigger?
Decision made, he sat back in his chair and slowly opened a desk drawer to reveal the deadly weapon. The world continued on in a dreamlike state, as he wrapped strong fingers around cold metal, and raised it to his temple. He closed his eyes… and bent his index finger toward his thumb, pulling the trigger.
"Garret?"
His heart pounded so hard he felt it would burst out of his chest. He didn't want to answer. He didn't want to move. He didn't want to live. A click sounded in his ear, and he tried again. It was jammed.
He opened his eyes and the world immediately went black.
Lily cried out in pure horror and rushed forward. As if in slow motion, the hand holding the gun went limp, and dropped down to the side, crashing against the side of the desk chair. His head fell back, his hand still loosely grasping the gun.
"My god, Garret," she whispered, gently dislodging the gun from his fingers. "What are you doing?" With her other hand she tenderly brushed his cheek with the back of her fingers and sighed. Tears filled her eyes.
Garret stirred and found himself opening his eyes to see the simple white ceiling of Lily's office.
As soon as she caught sight of his movement, she stood up, shoved her chair back, and stormed over to him. "What the hell were you thinking, Garret? That you would just die and suddenly everything would be okay? Are you insane?" Lily's hands emphasized the importance of her words and Garret struggled to sit up, making room for her on the other end of the couch he had previously been laying down on.
Abruptly, she halted her tirade and collapsed on the couch next to him, starting to cry. Feeling awkward, to say the least, Garret's arms encircled her and held her tight, pulling her closer and letting her cry on his shoulder, and it wasn't long before the tears he himself held at bay overflowed and spilled down his cheeks.
Lily lifted her head from its buried position in his chest and looked at him. "Garret… did you not think of the effect it would have on other people? On me?" She blinked red-rimmed indigo eyes at him, and grief washed over him.
"I'm- I'm sorry, Lily."
"Sorry?" She drew back and stared. "You're sorry?"
"What else do you want me to say, huh?" he snapped. "That I'm going to be perfectly alright and there's no reason to worry?"
"Is there?"
"Dammit, Lily!" Garret yelled, standing up and pacing the length of the small office. He swiftly turned to look at her when he heard her sobbing once more. He let out a shuddering breath and sat down again. "What is it?"
Lily forcibly inhaled and tightened her jaw. "I love you, and I want to help you. Why can't you let me? Why won't you let anyone in?"
Her words hit him hard, and he jerked back, startled and speechless. A million emotions pulsed hot within him; shock, sadness, rage, elation, fatigue, and countless more. He pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling the tears come again, and let his head drop into his hands, hot tears streaming down his cheeks. Lily could do no more than rub his shoulders as he cried, full of such pain that for the third time, she cried. When his sobs subsided, she hugged him, the simple gesture providing comfort for not just him, but her as well.
Taking a chance, she felt for his hand and twined her fingers with his. "Garret, please. Let me help you. You can get through this. I know you can. We can. Together."
"Together," he repeated slowly, and Lily smiled and tapped his shoulder.
"Look."
From the dark layer of clouds outside, the sun reappeared, shining even brighter than before. And if they looked close enough, they could see through the lighter clouds… the brilliant rainbow illuminating the sky.