Because how could I resist writing this after that finale. Enjoy.
"And if I'm telling the whole truth, no matter who gets hurt, it goes like this: I am in love with you, but you are in love with him."
Silence. She desperately wants to find the words, find the words to make him stay. He is easy. She does not have to sneak through security checkpoints and past cameras to see him. She can kiss him in the middle of the busy D.C. streets, out in the open for everyone to see. They can get Gettysburger and drink cheap beer and dance the night away to her beloved records. Her relationship with him is not made up of stolen moments sewn together by hope.
But no matter how hard she tries to move on, she knows deep down that she will never be in love with anyone but Fitzgerald Grant. So she stands there, silently affirming the words Jake just spoke to her. He sighs slightly and shifts his position.
"You are owed, Olivia. If you want what's yours, go and take it." He leaves her with those parting words, and she barely hears the elevator door ding shut as she gets lost in her thoughts.
"You own me, you control me, I-I- belong to you!"
"You own me, you control me, I belong to you!"
He is hers. She is his. No matter what happens, that will always be the absolute truth. She leans against the doorframe, subconsciously twirling the ring that suddenly feels abnormally heavy on her pointer finger. There's still so much hurt inside of her, still so much pain. But when she closes her eyes, she remembers the feeling that ran through her earlier when they talked on the phone. She smiled. She laughed. She felt warm. She knew it would take a while to fully accept what he did for her, but she could not continue to deny herself the love she knew she deserved. She could not spend any more nights drinking wine alone until it lulled her into a restless sleep. She could not keep pretending as though she did not need anyone. She needed him, more than ever.
The sound of her phone ringing drags her out of her thoughts. She shuts her door lightly and locks up before trotting over to her phone. The White House. Her heart drops into the pit of her stomach.
"Hello?" She murmurs.
"Hi Miss Pope." A voice answers. "I'm Charlotte, Lauren's substitute while she's on maternity leave."
"Hi Charlotte. What can I do for you?" She takes a seat on her couch, pulling her poncho close to her to brace herself for her answer. She has learned to expect the worse when she got a phone call as her many years as a fixer, especially when it was from someone she was not close with.
"Um, I was instructed by Lauren to inform you of certain events if they presented themselves…" She starts awkwardly.
"Go on." Olivia responds impatiently.
"Mrs. Grant is moving out of The White House. But this is confidential information, of course." She feels her heart drop into the pit of her stomach and start to throb.
"As of when?" She inquires breathlessly.
"Tonight. He also fired Cyrus Beene and appointed Elizabeth North as Chief of Staff." Olivia could hardly believe it. Fitz was finally acting like the man she voted for again. But what could this mean for them? She found herself standing up and making a beeline for her bedroom.
"Is he in? I'd like to talk with him about how we're going to move forward from this." She murmurs, almost laughing at the double meaning of what she just said.
"He just left with a small secret service detail, but you are welcome to come here and wait for him at the residence. He shouldn't be gone long. I can let you in. That way you can have some privacy away from potential press." Olivia makes a mental note to thank Lauren for grooming this girl so well and threw an oversized purse onto her bed with her freehand.
"That would be great Charlotte. Thank you so much. I will be over in about ten minutes."
"I will meet you at the Residence gate. If you still have your White House ID, bring it. President Grant recently changed a lot of his security detail, so the guards may not recognize you."
"I still have it. I'll see you in ten."
"Alright Miss Pope! Take care." She clicks her phone off and throws it into her bag.
She walks over to her lingerie drawer and pulls out Fitz's favorite white La Perlas. With a smirk of satisfaction, she slips her garmets off and puts it on. She studies herself in the mirror behind her for a few moments. She notices how healthy she looks. Color was visible in her flushed cheeks, the weight she had lost in captivity was almost all gained back. She runs a hand down her stomach and smiles slightly before padding over to her closet. She pulls a black tank over her head and tops it with a silky lounge top. Comfortable, but still chic. It reminds her slightly of the outfit she wore when they ran out the clock together. She pulls on some silk pants and throws in her overnight accessories before making her way back to the living room. She furiously types in her code to her safe and takes out her government ID card. The last thing at the top of her purse is a wine bottle that she grabs off of her counter.
"I'm going to take it." She whispers to her empty apartment before shutting off the final light.
Fitz barely comprehends what he is doing before he finds himself standing outside of Olivia's door. He wants to tell her everything, but he does not know if she will even want to talk to him. While it seemed as though things were returning to normal based on their phone conversations, it did not mean she was ready to talk to him in person. He wanted to give her space. He wanted to be a better man. The ring was back on her finger, so he knew that she didn't hate him. But other than that, he had no idea where they stood.
Mellie had betrayed him. It was not the first time she ever had, but after months and months of trying his best to rectify his past mistakes, he was done with letting everyone else control him. Even though he is arguably the most powerful man on planet earth, he felt completely powerless. Mellie, Cyrus, the American public. He was nothing but their puppet. Now he feels weightless, and the only person he wants to share his euphoria with is her.
So he rings the doorbell, waits a minute, knocks. No answer. The elation he was just feeling falls to the floor beneath him.
"Do you want us to open the door sir?" One of his new agents asks him. He smiles weakly.
"No." He responds weakly, making his way back to the elevator.
Olivia slowly walks down the empty halls of the residence, a slight panic rising in her stomach. What if he doesn't want her anymore? She shakes her head and laughs slightly, criticizing her conscious for reverting to a teenage mindset. He will always love her, but will he want to talk with her? She knocks gently on the door to his bedroom. After a few moments, she pushes it open. She puts her bag down on a chair and looks at the folder sitting on the table. Brandon's Bill. She smiles and picks it up, sitting in another chair to begin to read it.
After a few pages, she begins to get restless, so she places it back where she found it and grabs the bottle of red wine out of her bag. She wanders down the hallway to the dining room and slips a wine glass off of the shelf. She grabs a tumbler and scotch bottle for Fitz and returns back to his room. She pours him a glass of scotch and leaves it on the table before pouring herself a glass of Chardonnay. She takes a long swig and relishes the feeling of the alcohol dripping down her throat. To clear her head, she decides to walk out onto the balcony, Fitz's favorite thinking place. She admires the beautiful scenery in front of her and nurses her glass for only a few moments when she hears the door to the bedroom open. She is surprised to find herself being extremely calm, her stomach finally settling. The white door to the porch swings open and Fitz trudges out, a slightly sad look on his face. He slides his hands into his pockets for a few steps before taking them back out to rest against the railing. He lets out a loud sigh and stares out into the late night scenery.
"Nice view." She comments. She swears she has never seen him turn so fast. It brings a small smile to her face. They stand in silence for a moment.
"Hi." She offers, enjoying the shock on his face.
"Hi." He responds confusedly. He raises an eyebrow as to ask how she was standing on his balcony. She just smiles and nods as if to assure him that she is here on her own accord.
"You're here?" He breathes, furrowing his eyebrows. She slowly starts to make her way towards him.
"I'm here. Charlotte is very helpful, and informative." She is now standing in front of him and cannot get over how cute he looks when he is surprised. She wants to pin him down and kiss him right then. He lets out a small laugh, prompting her to smile.
"What happens now?" He asks, a small smirk gracing his lips. He does not want to push her. She smiles wider.
"Whatever we want." She responds simply. He laughs shortly again and steps towards her. She locks eyes with his and feels her heart beating through her chest. God did she love him. No one else could ever make her feel this way. She does not notice the death grip she has on her wine glass until his hand is on top of it. She smiles as he gently lifts it out of her grasp and places it onto the table.
Then they are chest to chest. Toe to toe. She breathes in the intoxicating smell of his cologne and feels the warmth flowing off of his skin. Her hands softly grip his sides as she leans in to kiss him. It is short and sweet, and she pulls away to run her hand up and down his soft neck and breathe him in. She is home. He is hers, she is his. Another sweet kiss leads to another, and soon his hands are cupping her face, their bodies melding into each other. She pulls away again to smile and look up at him, her vulnerability subsiding when she sees the love in his eyes. She throws her arms around him and they continue kissing, his hands making their way down her back. Suddenly, her feet are lifted off of the ground as he twirls her with joy. She giggles as he makes his way down to her neck, his smile pressed against her hot skin. Then they are through the door, falling onto his bed in a warm heap, his lips returning to meet hers. Her shirt comes over her head and floats to the ground to join her pants as she yanks at his stubborn white dress shirt. He sits up and takes it off along with his pants, marveling the woman splayed out on his bed.
"Are you sure?" He asks cautiously as he returns to kneel in front of her. She takes his hand and presses it against her heart. He feels it thump against the soft pad of his hand.
"This-" She murmurs, her breath catching before she can continue. "Is yours." She hates being vulnerable, but in the moment all she cares about is letting him know that she loves him unconditionally. She studies his eyes as they fill up with tears.
"I thought I was going to lose you." He admits in a low whisper. She shakes her head and sits up to cup his face.
"I am here. And we are together. There is no one day anymore. One day is now." She says excitedly, a tear running down her face. He thumbs it away and strokes her cheek lovingly. She presses her forehead to his.
"Please make love to me Fitz." She nearly begs, running her hand down his bare back. He feels his ring pressed into his side as he lays her back down, plating soft kisses to her collarbone and pulling her tank over her head. Her breath hitches as she feels his fingers slide her La Perlas off. And then they are one, ecstasy running through their veins as they rock in unison. Every nerve ending in her body is electrified, her heart threatens to pound out of her chest. He guides them slower than usual, allowing them both to make up for lost time together. Her fingers claw at his back for support as they arrive together, his deep moan sending her off over a cliff of no return. Her eyes roll in the back of her head and she feels small droplets of blood collect underneath her fingernails. She smiles as she knows he loves when she marks him and brings her ringed hand to run through his now-matted curls.
"I love you." She breathes easily into his ear as she leans up to kiss it. He kisses his way to her ear.
"I love you too."
"Oh did you want to drive pretty princess?"
She wakes with a start, throwing the sheets off of her as she sits up. She panics for a few moments before she realizes where she is. She turns to look down at the body stirring next to her.
"Come here." He murmurs, opening his arms to her. She nestles into his body and closes her eyes, inhaling his scent.
"We're in this together." He assures her, running his hand up and down her arm. He feels tears falling against his skin.
"We're in this together." She repeats as his heartbeat lulls her to sleep.
She does not have a nightmare for the rest of the night.
I have no words for 4x22. If you want to know how I feel, just look at my twitter (itsmebeccax), Vine (becca pope), and YouTube (AleccaOfficial). My live reaction reel to the episode is nothing short of priceless. As soon as the episode ended I knew I had to write this. I think I liked how it turned out. This might turn into a multichip, but it depends on feedback and would probably be a three shot or something close. Leave me a review here and make sure to check out my 4x22 review and live reaction reel on YouTube :P
XXX, Becca
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