In honor of celebrating Summerween today, I thought I'd write this because it seems no one else has. So HAPPY SUMMERWEEN, ALL! Plus, I have a time limit! It's 10:25 so let's get this going!
Ford cursed under his breath as the ceiling rattled and excited exclamations found their way through the vending machine door and down into the basement. Two test tubes of questionable content wobbled precariously in their holders, but he needed to add exactly three drops of one to the other in order to get perfect results of his potion. He took a dropper and very, very, veerryy carefully added one, two, thr-
"Hey, nerd!" Ford missed the third drop as his brother yelled at him from the stairs he had installed in replacement of an elevator.
"Gah! Stanley! I'm working on something, can't you see? I was almost there!"
"Woah, calm down, Sixer," he brother appeased. "We're just excited, come on!" Ford found himself being helplessly dragged by his brother all the way upstairs. He struggled for a moment, but gave up after a second. No matter how old, his brother had always been the stronger one. The boxing lessons had paid off.
After surviving the stairs (which would probably leave bruises later, it's not the first time he'd ever been dragged up a flight of stairs), his brother dragged him to the living room, where it was different.
Way different.
Decorating the walls were strings of gold, black lights and invisible ink (so that's where his stash had gone). There were blood splatters on the wall, handprints and words begging for help. The whole room was dark, but the hallway light was on, shedding some light onto the floor where it seemed some sort of gruesome display of a human body lay.
"Stanley, what is this?" Ford hissed as they stepped over the 'body' and into the hallway. His brother didn't answer and led Ford to his rarely-used room and threw a bundle of clothes at him.
"Change into it," Stanley directed.
"What?"
"Change into it," he said again, turning to leave.
"Why?"
Stanley sighed. "Because it's Summerween. Now put it on!" He tried to close the door but Ford's foot caught it.
"I'm not putting this on, Stanley," he said, eyeing it. "No."
"Come on, Sixer, join the fun," Stanley pleaded. "Its the first Summerween with you back, and the kids are really excited!"
"Oh, funny. I didn't know you were a kid, Stanley."
"Hey! At least I do things with them!"
"Like dress up in silly costumes and go hunting around town for terrible candy?"
Stanley glared at him. "It's more fun than sitting in a dark basement every day and doing boring science that makes you think it's more important than family."
"Huh," Ford said, trying to hide the fact that that had hurt him. "I thought you said that I couldn't consider them family, and that I'm not your family anymore?"
"If you wanna go there, then yes, in a roundabout way. You know I-"
"Fine," Ford sniffed. "Then why should I dress up in silly costumes for people who aren't family?" He turned and went into his room, throwing the costume into the hallway behind Stanley and slammed the door. He sat and listened as Mabel and Dipper came down the stairs, laughing at whatever their Grunkle had dressed up as.
"Where's Great Uncle Ford?" He heard Mabel ask.
"Oh, uh," Stanley said. "He's... He's sick tonight. He won't be coming with us."
"Aww," Mabel whined. "And we were gonna have such a good time, too!"
"Yeah, I was kinda looking forward to that," Dipper said dissapointedly. "Oh, well, we'll just have a great time with you, Grunkle Stan!"
They laughed all the way out the door and Ford could hear them until they disappeared around the driveway.
Slowly, he trudged back downstairs and resumed his work, only to be interrupted by the doorbell.
He groaned. Stupid trick-or-treaters. Couldn't they see? The lights were off and nobody seemed to be home. He tried to wait it out, but the doorbell got persistently more annoying as it rang faster. Finally he went back upstairs and answered the door.
Standing in the doorway was a tall man, wearing a hat not unlike Fiddleford's, a long trench coat and a smiley face mask.
"Trick or treat," he said in a deep, gravelly voice.
"Uh, I'm sorry, but aren't you a little too old for this?" Ford asked, leaning against the door frame. "I mean, great costume job and all, but, seriously?"
The thing in front of him growled and suddenly Ford found himself struggling for gravity as he was lifted off the ground. A voice began speaking, but he wasn't sure if it was from a mouth or in his head because it sure as hell didn't sound like it but-
Someone from old, no longer lost
Hides in the dark, but at what cost?
Ashamed of what his family will say
He chooses to not partake in this day.
When twelve o'clock strikes and the family's not there
He will wish that he had gone with them, in the costume he'd wear
Unless 500 pieces you bring
Back to me upon this Summerween.
Be but warned, for when the last light goes
There's no turning back for they're never coming home.
And then it was just... gone.
Ford blinked as he realized that at some point he had fallen onto the floor. He took in the monster's words.
"It's going to take Stanley," he gasped.
Five minutes later, Ford was back in his room, staring at his costume in the mirror.
It was a scientist costume.
Which fit him well, he supposed. It was complete with a button up shirt with some sort of fake stains on it. There was a lab coat complete with pocket protector for some colorful pens that, when clicked, dropped with some sort of liquid.
He pulled on the black gloves to go with his costume, not even thinking about it.
And then, he realized.
The gloves had been modified to fit six fingers. His family really had counted on him going with them.
He smiled and determinedly applied the red tint around his eyes and the dark-purple-laced-with-red contacts. Thankfully, they didn't hinder his eyesight, so he could still wear his glasses. Looking at the instructions for the hair, he was supposed to just gel it up sticking out every which way.
So he styled it like Shifty's favorite character, the man from the can of beans Ford loved so much.
Finally pulling on his boots over the black pants, Ford was ready to go.
You know, those floating shoes from Dimension 106/' would totally make me look cooler, he thought to himself, and a quick trip to the basement and one more back to his room for a pillowcase, he was ready.
Ford deactivated his shoes and quietly peered through the trees at his brother and the two 13-year olds.
Stanley himself was dressed like Frankenstein, with Mabel as a female-ish version (or was it the wife? 30 years was a long time to not catch up on the Frankenstien movies) and Dipper as a smaller version of Stanley.
Oh, I'm the mad scientist that invents all of them, Ford thought sadly, guilt weighing on him. They really have been planning this.
Stamping it out of the way, Ford slid out of the bushes he was hiding behind and quietly hovered over to his family, who were walking down the street to another house.
"...when the cops aren't around!" He heard Stanley say.
Mabel shook her head. "Grunkle Stan, you have to know to be stealthy enough so that everything's legal even when the cops are around!"
They all laughed and turned up the walk to another house. Ford followed silently, even holding out his bag when the lady was giving out candy.
Before she could say anything, Ford roared in Stanley's ear and watched in pleasure as he, Mabel, and Dipper all jumped four feet in the air.
Unfortunately, he was too busy laughing to hear 'left hook!' and was promptly knocked back several feet in the air.
"Ford! Do not EVER DO THAT AGAIN!" Stanley yelled at him, while the lady at the door snickered. Dipper and Mabel leaned on each other for support, recovering from mini-heart attacks.
Ford wiped the tears from his eyes and faced his glaring brother.
"Whoo... Stanley, you were right! This is the best night ever!"
Stan reared his hand back for another punch, but stopped when Dipper and Mabel jumped up to give Ford a hug in the middle of the air.
"You came!" Mabel cried excitedly. "Yay, now we're Franken-Twins!" At the curious look everyone gave her, she explained, "Because Grunkle Stan and Great Uncle Ford are twins. And me and Dipper are twins. So it makes sense!"
Everyone agreed and after Stanley calmed down, they gathered their candy from the lady, who congratulated Ford on his appearance and his performance and gave him extra candy.
"Where's Zeus?" Ford asked as he hovered down the sidewalk beside them as they left.
"Soos," everyone automatically corrected him.
"Oh, sorry. Where is he?"
"He's out trick-or-treating with his grandma tonight. He didn't come," Dipper explained.
"What about Mindy?"
"Wendy," everyone automatically corrected him again.
"Sorry."
"Actually, I don't know where Wendy is," Dipper said. "I thought you were sick, Great Uncle Ford."
"Oh, well," Ford splattered as they turned up to the next house. "I took some space medicine, because I wanted to hang out with you guys, and here I am!"
Dipper laughed. "Where'd you get those hover-shoes?" They turned into the next house. The watermelon was already out though, so they continued on.
"I got these from Dimension 106/'," Ford said proudly, puffing up his chest.
"Oh, cool, where's that?"
"Well, it's a dimension where everything is made of gravity so it obviously defies it- which us why these hover shoes are so-"
"Nerds," Stanley and Mabel said at the same time. They laughed and high-fived.
"For your information-" Dipper and Ford said at the same time. Stan and Mabel just laughed more.
After hitting the rest of the Houses on the street, Ford had totally forgotten the reason he'd come- to save his family.
As they turned the corner, something moved in the bushes.
"What was that?" Dipper asked nervously.
"Scaredy-cat," Mabel teased and punched him on the shoulder. The group kept walking.
After a minute, Mabel stopped in her tracks. "Dipper, look!"
It was the Summerween Trickster.
"Have you gotten my 500 pieces, yet?" It asked Ford, picking him up out of the air.
Oh shit.
"Ah... n-no..." Ford stuttered nervously, trying to get a stable grip on gravity.
"Yeah we do! Right here!" Mabel shouted, pulling a grappling hook out of nowhere (where did she get a grappling hook?) And used it to climb the monster.
"Oh, no," it said, hooking Ford onto a nearby tree branch and facing the children. "Not you again!"
"Me again!" Mabel exclaimed triumphantly. She pulled Dipper up with her.
"Oh, no, you too?"
"Me too," Dipper confirmed.
"And here-" they pulled up three bulging bags of candy "-is your 500!"
And they tossed exactly 500 pieces of candy into the monster's mouth.
Ford dangled helplessly in the air, realizing that hover shoes might not have been the best idea. He watched as Stanley, Mabel, and Dipper throw candy and the monster while threatening to eat him, and he eventually ran away into an abandoned alleyway.
Grinning, the three high fives each other as Soos happened to drive by in his pickup.
"Hey, doods, need a ride?" He offered.
Mabel raced forward, shoving candy in her mouth. "SHOTGUN!" Stan and Dipper raced after her, Dipper beating Stan by a couple feet, but probably only because he was old. Soos turned on the radio and drove down the road, music blasting as they laughed and talked together, Mabel shoving candy in her mouth. They drove off to the Mystery Shack together.
"Uh, guys?" Ford cried helplessly after them.
"Guys?"
He kicked his feet and looked at the ground and suddenly wished he hadn't. It seemed so very far away...
"Guys? Guys! Stanley! Dipper! Mabel! Zeus? Hello?"
WOOHOO FINSIHED AT 11:54 BAM BABY