Title: Don't Do This

Author: Drey'auc475

STARGATE: UNIVERSE

Rating: K+ to T

Spoilers: 1x01 – Air, 1x07 – Earth & 1x09 – Life.

Genre: Drama/Romance/Angst

Setting/Season: Pre-Season 1 – Icarus Base

Summary: "I can't talk you out of it?" he asks softly. She visibly swallows before answering. "No, Sir."

A/N: This is my attempt at a SGU story just for kicks. Don't worry – I haven't abandoned my other project at all. Just a small hiatus.

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Cooper, Mallozzi and Wright. And I get nothing…

-----XXX-----

"I'm sorry, Sir."

He turns away from her to hide his face, to hide the hurt in his eyes.

"I know," he replies, fingers resting on the edge of the desk.

There's a silence before she says, "I'm resigning my commission."

His head snaps up to look at her. "You're quitting the Air Force?"

She hesitates, bowing her head slightly. "It seems like the right thing to do."

Moving around the desk he comes to stand beside her. She stays facing his desk, at attention, on profile. He can't help but think how beautiful she really is.

"I can't talk you out of it?" he asks softly.

She visibly swallows before answering. "No, Sir."

He watches her profile for a long moment, unable to look away. She grows more uncomfortable under his gaze and finally meets his eyes. The beginnings of tears are gathering in her eyes and all he wants to do is hold her. He hates himself that he's made her do this.

This entire thing is his fault.

"Just tell me why," he says, somehow managing to keep the hurt from his voice. She runs her tongue along her lower lip for a moment before using a forefinger to turn the framed photo on his desk toward him. With her lips pursed in a determined line she looks back up at him.

"I just can't do it anymore," she says. She turns her face away and stems a sob with a hand under her nose. "I won't do this to myself." Her voice shakes but she's trying to keep her dignity.

He can't help but step closer to her. "TJ, don't do this – we can work something out –"

She cuts him off with a humorless laugh. "Like what, Sir?"

He has to admit he doesn't have an answer for her. He really does love his wife, but he just can't let her walk away from him.

She looks up at him again and she can see he has no answer. She sniffs and looks down at her hands clasped in front of her.

"I applied for a scholarship in Colorado Springs. They told me I was a shoe in. If I get the job, I start in two weeks."

"TJ –"

"I've given the Air Force my notice –"

"Tamara, look at me."

She takes a deep breath before she turns her face to him again.

"Please… stay."

"Why?"

He opens his mouth to respond but again he doesn't have an answer. He wants to say that he needs her to stay for him but he's beginning to think that's why she's leaving. He also wants to say he loves her. But he'll lose her for certain if he tells her that. This whole thing happened so fast he's not even sure if that's true.

At his lack of response, she shakes her head and looks back down at her hands. He suppresses a sigh of disappointment at his own cowardice. Without looking at him again, she turns toward the door. And suddenly he can't let her leave.

His hand shoots out and catches her arm. Firmly he pulls her back to him and she falls into his arms the same moment his lips close over hers.

Her lips are soft and warm, exactly the same as the first time they kissed. There's still fire there, and it feels like electricity, grounding them to the floor. She became his conduit that first night, and he the same for her. They knew it was wrong, so wrong, but neither was able to stop themselves.

His hands slide down her back, stopping at her waist as he searches for the best angle to devour her mouth. He's surprised that she isn't fighting him. It's a complete contradiction to her words from just a moment ago and when her hands tighten on his jacket, he knows right then she doesn't want to end this either.

But the memory of his wife's face when she caught them together is etched into his eyelids and forces him to pull back. They stay close, foreheads touching, breaths mingling. He touches his lips to her ear.

"You are so beautiful," he whispers. He only says it because he knows not enough people have told her that in her life, which still surprises him. She shivers in his arms.

He wants to stay like this forever, just holding her in his arms but he knows he can't. And what makes this even worse is the promise he made to his wife. That he would stop this affair and go back to her.

The thing is, now that it's happening he doesn't want her to leave him. He's being selfish and he knows it.

Dropping his face to her blonde curls he tightens his arms around her before letting them drop. With a sniffle, she steps back. Tears run in streaks down her cheeks and she brushes them from her jaw. There are red rims around her blue eyes and he hates that he's made her cry. He hates that it happened at all.

Lifting a hand, he touches it to her chin. Her eyes flick up to his and he's worries that she'll start crying again. But she doesn't. She just leans forward, kisses him lightly on the lips and opens the door. She doesn't look back as she closes it behind her.

He leans back against his desk and scrubs a hand down his face. And so was the end of the affair between the colonel and the lieutenant. And yet Everett Young felt as though a part of him had died.

And for the young medic that was collapsed against the wall just outside, it felt like her world was falling apart.

-----XXX-----

Please review and tell me what you think.