Chapter 1
Eugene Weasley walked up to Harriet Potter. Eugene said, "Your scar looks particularly sexy today."
Harriet blushed in response. "Not as sexy as your orange hair."
Eugene said, "We should have sex."
Harriet replied, "Yes, baby, yes." She was already orgasming.
"Touch me like you touch your piano," Eugene said.
"Only if you finger me like you strum your guitar." Harriet said
Harriet unzipped Eugene's pants, to find out that he had jizzed his pants twice already. It was just like the whipped cream from Starbucks. It was beautiful. This fact caused her to orgasm again.
They undressed in lightning speed to a rhythm that closely resembled the song that has no relevance in pop culture right now, Nyan Cat. In fact, for some reason, Nyan Cat was playing in the background. Who knows with fictional movies, right?
Harriet and Eugene were both touching each other. Their moans occurred at the exact same times, as their touching increased in rhythm. Harriet orgasmed twice, and then Eugene orgasmed.
Eugene then said, "Blow me like you blow a whistle." The song abruptly changed to Whistle. Harriet started blowing on Eugene's nether-regions, causing him to orgasm in a matter of seconds. Eugene then reciprocated, blowing air into her donut-hole. She orgasmed again, and once she finished her second orgasm, they decide to actually unite physically, as Drunk In Love started playing. (They had drunk enough watermelon to become drunk in love at this point)
Eugene said, "WAIT DON'T WE NEED A CONDOM." Harriet replied, "This is a fanfiction who fucking cares." And then they united, and screamed together in love.
But the one thing they forgot was that they did all this in McGonagall's office. And McGonagall proceeded to expel them. However, it was oh so worth it.
Chapter 2
Anna Kendrick looked at the prince. The prince told her, "You can't go now! It's only midnight..." She replied, "Okay, let's get one thing straight. I can do whatever the fuck I want." Her brown hair and grey eyes enticed all those around her. She ran away from the ball so that she could get back to her acting work. She was excited to meet Eugene Weasley, the famous Portuguese-Indian ginger, and Harriet Potter, the best magician in the world. They had defeated many, but also had gained notoriety for fucking in McGonagall's room. Anna Kendrick really wanted to meet them. What she didn't say, however, was that they were both really hot. And she knew they thought she was really hot, so a threesome was in order.
As Anna came to them, she said, "My patronus is a corgi." Eugene said (slightly uncomfortably as he jizzed in his pants for the third time because he was actually meeting her) "My patronus is a fox."
"So what does the fox say?" Anna asked Eugene seductively.
"Let's all fuck like animals." Eugene replied
Foxes, dogs, and turtles (Harriet's patronus) are super hot together.
((EXCEPT THEY AREN'T BECAUSE THEY ARE DIFFERENT SPECIES EW))
They entered an amazing three-way kiss. Their lips were all touching each other, and all three of them entered an amazing orgasm. They shuddered because of the strength of the orgasm.
Anna laughed and smiled with her big beautiful lips. Her grey eyes sparkled with beauty that made the other two orgasm. Eugene's pants were getting really messy. "It's good that we're all crazy as fuck. Being well adjusted is probably fucking overrated."
Anna grabbed both of their heads as they all magically undressed. Eugene licked her top part while Harriet licked her bottom part. At this point, Benny Lava started playing. They started moaning and orgasming to the rhythm of the song. "You're the only people in the world I don't hate right now," Anna said. They smiled and agreed even though they didn't know what the fuck that meant.
Anna's brunette hair was now frazzled. "I LOVE YOU INSIDE ME" she screamed. Eugene put his thingy in her hole, while Harriet put her cat-like-thing on Anna's face-hole. Then the song changed to Pitch Perfect's Cup Song. You never really know with these random movie song changes, do you. Anna Kendrick was singing along, and her singing got raunchier and raunchier as she came closer and closer to orgasming. And then they all orgasmed again.
At this point everyone was super messy, but Anna Kendrick still looked super hot. They were all touching each other as "Partition" started playing. The killer baseline started and then they were suddenly in a limo. Harriet said, "Wha-" and Eugene cut her off saying, "THIS IS A FANFICTION WEIRD PLOT HOLES ARE FINE."
And then they were all kissing and touching each other. Eugene had jizzed his (non-existent) pants so many times now that he was exhausted. So they all slept on each other, as "Swan Lake" started playing. Little did they know that they were video-taped the whole time...
But it was worth it. #Loreal