A/N: I do not own Uraboku, it's characters, or the song The Reason.
Shusei sat by the bed waiting for Hotsuma to wake up. Yuki had spent the night healing him and he was out of danger, but he had been resting for 2 days now. Shusei was lost in thought about his partner; he couldn't believe that he let him down. He wasn't quick enough, didn't try hard enough, and now all he wanted to do was hold the one he loved in his arms and kiss all of his wounds. He knew that he could never reveal this to the blond, but his chest ached every time his partner got injured.
Hotsuma started waking up slowly when he felt a soft weight on his chest. Shusei's head was on his chest while he sat next to the bed. Hotsuma ran his hand through the brunette's hair.
"Hotsuma, you're awake. Are you hungry, do you need some water? How do you feel?"
"I am fine Shusei, but I could use some water." Shusei hopped up and quickly got a glass of water.
"You have been out for 2 days now. I will tell them to get you some food." Shusei quickly left the room with a baffled Hotsuma staring at the closed door.
When Shusei was outside the room, he finally broke down and cried. He was so glad that Hotsuma was ok, but he couldn't forgive himself. He needed to distance himself from the other. He knew that if he continued to have these feelings for his partner, that it would make things worse when the battle was over. Either one or both of them would die, or if they succeeded, he would have to watch Hotsuma find a girl and settle down. Both scenarios broke his heart.
Shusei decided that once Hotsuma was healed completely, he would start to distance himself. He knew he could keep himself busy with school and work at the police station. He just had to make sure that he did these things alone so he could try and get over the love he had for the fiery blond.
After another day of rest, Hotsuma was back up and feeling better. He was to go back to school and get things back to normal. When he woke up and got ready he went in search of his partner. Shusei hadn't checked on his as much yesterday so he had gotten bored sitting in his room. When he reached the dining room for breakfast he found Shusei had already left for school without eating again.
Hotsuma was pissed, not only did he not eat, he left him again and it was his first day back. He ran out the door with the food that Tomos had made for Shusei. When he arrived at school, he went to the 2nd year class and to his surprise Shusei wasn't there yet. He started to get worried wondering if something happened on the way to school.
He waited by the first door to Shusei's class and just as the bell was ringing, he saw Shusei walk in the other door about 20 feet away. Hotsuma was about to head in and hand Shusei the food when the teacher told him to go to his class. He caught Shusei's eye for a second before the older boy turned to face the front.
As Hotsuma sat in class, he didn't pay attention to a single part of the lessons. His mind was occupied with why Shusei barely acknowledged him. He decided he would ask at lunch and figure out what was going on.
Lunch came and went with Hotsuma being unable to find Shusei. He asked all of the Zweilt and Yuki and couldn't find him anywhere. He decided that he was going to have to track him down later or he would be late getting back to class.
Shusei had gone to the roof to have lunch alone and think some more. He knew this would be tough, but he felt a sharp pain every time he saw Hotsuma's confused face. He knew the other didn't know why he was being avoided, but Shusei just couldn't see it going well if they continued like they were. Shusei knew that the day would come when his love would be taken away and wanted to make it as painless as possible in the future.
After school was over Shusei quickly made his way to the police station alone. Hotsuma saw Shusei hurry away from him and head on without him. He was starting to get pissed. Why was Shusei acting like this? He couldn't think of anything that he had done wrong recently to cause his partner to ignore him.
Shusei came back to the twilight mansion late in the evening and went straight to his room and grabbed his things to shower. Once he finished in the bathroom he headed back to get some sleep. When he reached his room he found an irate blond waiting for him.
"What the hell Shusei, why have you been avoiding me. What did I do?" Hotsuma yelled.
"I'm not avoiding you." Shusei said as calmly as possible.
"Like hell, I didn't see you all day, you left before me and who knows where you went for lunch, then when I tried to catch up to you after school, you hurried ahead."
"Hotsuma, I just had things to do. I was fine alone."
"What does that mean, you aren't alone, I am your partner, and if something is bothering you tell me now."
"There is nothing bothering me, not could you leave. I need to get some sleep." Shusei's voice had a harsh bite to it. He didn't like this conversation. He wanted to just be alone.
"No I will not leave; first of all you haven't eaten. Who knows if you ate at all today? Second, I know something is up, why won't you just tell me."
"Look just leave me alone ok, don't bother me. I have eaten today I don't need you to check up on me, you are not my mother, and I am fine so back off." Shusei seethed.
"Back off, back off, what the hell, why are you being like this?" Hotsuma was getting pissed he couldn't understand what had happened to his normally calm partner.
"Maybe I don't want you around for a while; I just need some time alone."
"Shusei…" Hotsuma, was struck dumb, Shusei had never told him to go away. He didn't know how to handle it. His eyes welled up as his partner just stared at him with emotionless eyes.
"Fine, if that's what you want, I will leave you alone. Just please eat and if something is bothering you. Talk to someone, even if it isn't me." With his head hung low, Hotsuma left the room closing the door behind him.
As soon as the door clicked, Shusei broke down again sobbing. He hated this, he felt like someone was squeezing his heart in a vice and he couldn't breathe. The utter despair in his partner's eyes when he left the room tore him up, but he had to do this, right? He needed to distance himself. As he lay on his bed curled into the fetal position, he thought to himself that if this is the right thing to do, why does it hurt so much.
Hotsuma went to his room and let the tears that were building up slowly fall. He didn't know what happened, but Shusei was going through something and wouldn't tell him. He knew that he must have done something for his partner to say those things, but he couldn't figure it out.
Both boys cried themselves to sleep that night wondering what was going to happen in the future.
A week passed with neither boy saying anything to the other unless absolutely necessary. Everyone at the mansion noticed the normally inseparable pair now didn't even occupy the same room for more than a few seconds at a time.
Yuki tried to talk to both men and neither would give any information. Both stated they were fine and just busy. After another week of silence from the two the rest of the team decided that they needed to do something. It would not be good for them to go into battle like this, plus they were really worried about their friends.
Tsukumo listened to both with his God's ear and they decided that Hotsuma would be best to go to as Shusei had made sure that his thoughts stayed under wraps , Hotsuma however let his thoughts flow and they could tell he wanted to apologize to Shusei, but didn't know how to get him to listen.
"Hotsuma" Yuki and Tsukumo knocked and entered his room.
"What's up guys, do you need something?" The pair could tell Hotsuma hadn't been sleeping as he had giant bags under his eyes and his voice was flat.
"We came to help you with Shusei." Yuki said.
"Thanks, but we are fine."
"We know you aren't and it hurts me to see you guys fighting." Yuki pleaded.
"We aren't fighting; well I don't know if we are, I don't know what happened so I have to just give him what he wants."
"What does that mean?" Tsukumo asked.
"Well, Tsukumo, My partner, the person I trust more than anyone else in the world told me that he doesn't want me around and that I needed to leave him alone. You want to fix that." Hotsuma barked with a bitter tone.
"I am so sorry Hotsuma, we will do everything we can to fix this, I know this must be killing you." Yuki stated as tears trailed down his face.
"Look I know you guys want to help, but I don't think you can. So if you don't mind I am going to go to sleep."
"Hotsuma, maybe we can find a way for you to talk to Shusei, would that help at least?" Tsukumo had an idea, but didn't know how Hotsuma would feel about it.
"He won't stay in the same room as me, so how can I tell him I am sorry or anything for that matter without him just leaving."
"Well I have an idea, but it would require you to, um let's say come out of your comfort zone."
"I will do anything to work it out with Shusei, or at least find out why he has been avoiding me."
Tsukumo let the other two in on his idea. Yuki giggled when Hotsuma blushed and sputtered. This would be very interesting. Now they just had to get everyone else on board and get Takashiro to agree to the plan.
On Saturday the Zweilt were gathered in the main living room as Tachibana had stated that he had a message from Takashiro.
"Everyone, we have new orders from the boss." He stated in his normal teasing manner.
"Well what it is?" Yuki asked
"Tonight you all will be going to a restaurant where apparently you are to eat dinner and relax with each other, out of the mansion."
"Wait that's it? I thought we were getting orders, what if we don't want to go." Hotsuma said, playing his part.
"These are the orders and according to Takashiro, it is mandatory for all of you." Tachibana smirked at this; he was excited, and wouldn't miss this for the world. He would have more material to tease the blond after this.
"This will be fun; we don't go out very often." Stated Yuki
"Well I guess if Yuki is going we need to go and protect him." Hotsuma grumbled.
"Excellent, everyone be ready to leave at 6:00." With that Tachibana left the room.
Shortly after Hotsuma tried to say something to Shusei, but he just got up and left. The others in the room saw the sadness in the blonde's eyes, before he quickly put up his walls.
"Hotsuma, did you pick out what you planned to do?" Yuki asked softly
"Yes, but I don't know if it will matter." Hotsuma said as he left the room.
The gang pulled up in two cars to the restaurant that Takashiro had picked. They all got out and went in. As they were seated they found it was not only a restaurant, but a Karaoke bar. So there were people up singing while they ate.
Hotsuma kept glancing at Shusei who did his best to avoid the younger man's eyes. He knew that if he looked into those eyes the pain in his chest would amplify by what he saw. The past 2 weeks had been horrible. He missed his best friend so much, but still couldn't bring himself to come clean.
As Shusei was lost in thought, he didn't notice Hotsuma get up from the table. He continued not paying attention until he heard the announcer for the Karaoke again.
"Ladies and gentlemen, next on the stage we have Renjo Hotsuma singing a song for someone very special to him."
Shusei looked up and noticed Hotsuma standing holding a microphone staring at him. He was going to get up and leave, but had Luka on one side and Tsukumo on the other holding him in place. As the music started Shusei looked up to the stage.
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with every day
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
When Hotsuma finished the song, still looking at Shusei, he noticed tears running down his partners face. Shusei couldn't take anymore and pushed Tsukumo's arm down and ran outside. Hotsuma followed him only to find him sobbing in the ally beside the restaurant.
"Shusei, I am sorry. I don't know what I did to make you so angry with me, but if you still feel like you don't want me around, I will go to Takashiro and tell him that he needs to split us as partners. I can't stand the thought of not being with you, but if it's what you want I will go away from you forever."
Shusei just cried harder hearing these words. The last 2 weeks of emotions bubbling to the surface he clung to the man in front of him and sobbed into his shoulder.
"Please Shusei tell me what I did, tell me what is going on. I have been so worried for you and you wouldn't even stay in the same room as me."
"I-It's not y-you…" Shusei got out with a broken voice.
"Then what is it?" Hotsuma was holding his partner as tight as he could. He never wanted to let go, but didn't know what would make the older boy break down.
"I… I…"
"You what, you can tell me anything Shusei, please." Hotsuma stroked the brunette's hair.
"I love you" Shusei whispered
"What?" Hotsuma wasn't sure he heard correctly.
"I am in love with you, and it hurt seeing you injured and I was scared of the day that would come when you decided to leave me to get married or if one or both of us died in the battle. I just couldn't take the pain, so I thought I should distance myself." Shusei sniffed but kept his head buried in his partner's neck.
"Why didn't you just tell me this?" Hotsuma, now understanding what was wrong.
"What was I going to say, hey Hotsuma, I'm in love with you, I want to kiss your wounds and have you hold me."
"That or you could have just done it." Hotsuma said
"I am sure it would have gone over great, what would you have thought if you woke up to me kissing all over your body. I am sure you would have beaten the crap out of me."
"No, I would have thought my love has finally come back to me." Hotsuma whispered into Shusei's ear as he held him tightly.
Shusei blushed furiously at hearing this confession.
"Shusei, you seem to think my heart is fickle so let me state this clearly now. When we married in our previous life, I meant every word of my vows. I pledge my love to you in this life and those thereafter. Shusei you are the only one I will ever love in every lifetime. Please don't ever doubt that." Hotsuma said as he placed his hand on the older boy cheek and kissed his lips tenderly.
"Wait, why didn't you say anything before now?" Shusei questioned
"Well you were always very popular with the girls at school and you never really acted very lovey-dovey towards me so I figured that you only loved me as a partner now that we are both men. It hurt, but I thought it was what you wanted."
"You idiot, I have been so worried about your reaction, had I know we could have…" Shusei closed his mouth quickly and blushed all the way to his ears.
Hotsuma noticed this and smirked. He knew where Shusei was going with his statement.
"We could have what my love?" Hotsuma purred in Shusei's ear.
"Ummm… nothing, we could have avoided this is what I was going to say." Shusei was still looking down at his feet finding them very interesting.
"Are you sure that's what you were going to say, because there are a lot of things we could have been doing." Hotsuma said as he captured the blushing boy's lips in a heated kiss.
Inside everyone was wondering what was happening outside.
"Tsukumo, can you tell what's going on?" Toko asked.
Tsukumo concentrated on the two and blushed bright red at what was going on.
"They seem to have worked it out." Tsukumo said as he blushed again. Luka looked at the boy next to him and smirked understanding what was probably taking place. The rest of the group didn't catch on as quickly.