Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. If it did I would've done Zade a whole lot different and less wannabe love triangle, Lemon and George would've stayed together and AB and Lavon would've gotten together ages ago.
Summary: Zoe returns from NY after 2X22, but is not the same after a traumatic incident that happened in NY. No Joel.
Author's Note: I watched it all on Netflix and fell in love with Zade and the rest of BB! Although there are a lot of things I have a problem with, but I still loved it and besides that's what ff is for, so maybe I'll write something else and fix what bothered me. This takes place when Zoe comes back from NY and she's dealing with a trauma that happened there. I hope you guys like it! It mentions rape, but no graphic details! Let me know what you think! This is my first Zade.
One Step At A Time
When I finally came to I took note of two things. One my head was pounding like a drummer was in my skull continuously beating on my brain. And two I had to vomit. I also noticed the drool seeping out of my mouth and I hurriedly brushed a heavy hand across my mouth to get rid of the excess saliva. I peeled my eyes open cursing myself silently for falling asleep with my contacts in.
I stumbled to the bathroom and threw up into the toilet relieving every horrific moment that I had tried so hard to forget. After emptying my stomach I staggered into the shower and tried to wash away the hangover, but it was no use. My head was pounding and spinning and the nausea was still there. Although I wasn't convinced that the nausea was only from the drinking, but about the incident too. Once the shower began to run cold I tripped into my bedroom and began to get ready.
Usually I put my clothes out the night before, but after the incident I just wasn't feeling the same. Gone were the classy clothes, short skirts and shorts, the beautiful blouses, and tiny dresses. Now I just wanted to cover up all of my skin. I didn't want anyone to see the damage that still lingered on my body and I didn't want anyone to stare at me like they used to. I thought maybe it was because of me that the incident had happened. It was typical victimization thoughts, blame yourself. And I did, no matter how much I told myself it wasn't my fault that I had just drank too much and went into that bedroom to sleep it off. But I somehow knew it still was because of me.
If I hadn't been wearing that short dress. If I hadn't drank to forget about Wade. If I had been in BlueBell instead of New York. So many 'ifs' and no matter how much time had passed I knew in a few months I'd still be blaming myself. It had been one month since the incident and I still hadn't told anyone about it. Instead I ran from my issues back to BlueBell, back to the Carriage house, back to people who didn't know.
I tried to pretend everything was ok, but the lack of dressing like the New Yorker I was, probably drew more attention that I thought. I knew people probably could tell something was wrong, but no one had asked me about it yet. I dressed plainly, didn't wear make up, could barely look in a mirror, and I was usually drunk when not at the practice.
Granted I stayed in the carriage house and drank vodka—wine didn't help the demons that plagued me I needed something to make me forget—while watching marathons of Sex in the City or The Office. Anything to make me forget that night and what had happened. I had been back for almost a week and no one had approached me about the changes. Not one person. So I assumed they didn't care. It didn't surprise me, but despite myself it did hurt.
Once I was dressed I filled my flask up and put it delicately in my purse before taking off to the practice. I was so lost in thought I didn't notice a figure at the foot of my porch getting ready to approach. I was busy locking my door when I turned around and came face to face with Lavon.
"Hi." I said quietly giving him a small smile.
"Hey Big Z." Lavon said giving me his usual Lavon smile.
"What's up?" I asked walking down the stairs tentatively.
"I uh actually wanted to talk to you." he said quietly gesturing to the chairs on my porch.
"I actually have to get to the practice." I said knowing I'd left myself enough time to be able to talk to Lavon, but I didn't really want to talk with him right now.
He cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably. "It'll only take a second." He said.
I nodded reluctantly and sat in the seat as he took the other one. "What's up?" I asked fidgeting with the straps on my purse.
"Well uh…it's about how you've been since you got back." Lavon said quietly.
"Oh?" I said playing dumb.
"You've been aloof and I understand it probably has to do with Wade, but—" Lavon began, but I cut him off with a shake of my head.
"It's not about Wade. Actually I have barely seen Wade." I said quietly trying to ignore how hurt I was by that knowledge. Yes I'd seen him when I went into the Rammer Jammer my first night back, but I'd seen him talking to a pretty blonde and I couldn't take knowing he'd moved on when I was hurting so bad.
So I had been avoiding him ever since, much like I'd been doing with the rest of the town. Maybe I was afraid that if I talked to them I'd let lose my secret. Or maybe if Wade even looked at me he'd see how broken I'd become. Regardless I didn't want people to think I was weak especially Wade.
"Why?" Lavon asked curiously.
I looked away and across the pond to where Wade's car was parked.
"Are you still not over his infidelity?" Lavon asked delicately.
Suddenly I turned to him with a scowl. "He asked you to talk to me, didn't he?" I asked angrily.
Lavon shook his head rapidly. "No Zoe, we're just all worried about you. Wade may have asked me about you a few times. I think he thinks you're still angry, but I'm worried and so is AB and so is like half the town. Is it because of his indiscretions?" Lavon pried.
I looked back across the pond and pondered what to say. The truth was obviously not going to happen so what else could excuse my behavior.
"Lavon…" I started and then my phone rang. I gave him an apologetic look and answered my phone seeing it was Brick. Once I hung up I excused myself from Lavon and told him I'd see him later. He told me we'd finish our discussion and then I was off to work.
Work was normal. I saw the patients, helped them, fixed them the way I knew I couldn't be fixed and as five struck I cleaned up and then went home. I paused in the middle of the town square and looked over at the Rammer Jammer wondering briefly if I should go in and get some food. But the thought of eating had long since passed. I hadn't been hungry since the incident. Yes I ate, but nothing that much. I knew I was losing weight, my previous size two clothes were becoming bigger on me and I knew I'd probably lost about ten pounds, putting me in danger of becoming seriously underweight. As a doctor I should care, as someone who was slowly drowning I didn't.
"Well look who it is." A voice from behind me said.
I turned around quickly to see Lemon smiling at me. Her typical Southern Belle smile planted on her lips. The one that said disdain, but I'll be polite and talk to you.
"Lemon." I said quietly taking a step away from her and towards the opposite direction of the Rammer Jammer.
Her smile dropped off her face as she took me in and she frowned. "You ain't lookin so good, Dr. Hart." She said quietly.
I shrugged and clenched my hand as my fingers itched to go into my bag and pull out my flask. I could handle being sober until I reached the backstreets and could drink my heart out on the way home, I thought.
"Are you ok?" she asked zoning in on me.
"I'm fine, Lemon." I said quietly.
"You don't look fine. I heard you've been standoffish since you came back. Is this about what happened with Wade?" Lemon asked gently.
I looked away from her not liking the pity in her eyes. "It's not about Wade." I said already knowing I was going to get tired of saying that.
"We were all rootin for you guys. You made him happy and I think he made you happy." She said uncharacteristically nice.
"I can't make anyone happy, Lemon. I'm kind of a mess." I said feeling my throat clog up suddenly from the emotions that were hitting me. My fingers were craving to pull out my flask and numb myself to the pain. The longer I stood with Lemon the more my distant façade was going to break. I could tell I was close to the edge and if Lemon continued her uncharacteristic niceness I was going to finally break. Finally tell someone what had happened.
"Zoe…" Lemon said quietly. For a moment I thought she was going to lean in and hug me and I was surprised to hope that she would, but instead she gave me a sympathetic smile.
"He missed you a lot. He didn't say anything, but he did. I think he finally understands what he did wrong and if I were you I'd try again. He's a good man, Zoe." She said patting me awkwardly on the shoulder.
I gave her a tight smile and took a breath in trying to keep the emotional shutter from my voice. "It's not about Wade, Lemon and he is a great guy. One of the best…I just can't…I'm…I'm not…" I trailed off feeling the tightening of my chest and the inevitably tears that were coming. "I have to go." I said suddenly turning towards the road that led to the plantation and running towards it.
I could hear Lemon yelling after me, but I ignored her as I tripped into the woods and when I was finally covered in shadows I took my flask out and drank it as quickly as possible. The alcohol hit my blood stream and suddenly the urge to cry was no more and I was as detached as can be. I stumbled home finishing the contents of my flask on the way and when I reached my carriage house I grabbed the Absolut and poured myself some more. I put a smidge of orange juice in the glass and continued my process of numbing my problems with the contents of a bottle.
I awoke to knocking on my door and I wiped the sleep from my eyes as I checked my phone. It was only 10 o'clock. I had passed out on my couch with the bottle of Absolut on the coffee table and the credits of some movie playing on the TV. I stumbled still half drunk to the door and opened it hesitantly. I let out a sigh when I saw Lavon on the porch. He gave me a small smile and held up a plate with food on it.
"I thought you might me hungry." He said gently.
I nodded and let him in going back to the couch and sipping on the last of the vodka. I made a mental note to go pick up a new one soon.
"Thanks." I said scooting onto the couch and watching as he set the plate of food on the coffee table. I stared at it willing my self to eat it, but instead I grabbed the almost empty bottle of vodka and poured more.
"You should probably eat." He said taking in the mess my usual clean house was. There were more bottles of vodka scattered around the place and I was thankful he didn't comment on it.
"What's going on Zoe?" He said as I took a drink and began to pick at my food.
I sighed and gave him a sad smile. "With what?" I asked going back to playing dumb.
"Lemon told me what happened in the square today. How you were acting. She's worried and when you have Lemon worried…" Lavon trailed off with a shake of his head.
"I'm sorry." I whispered staring down at the plate.
"Did something happened? In New York. Is that why you've been so weird since you got back?" Lavon asked.
I didn't say anything choosing instead to tentatively bring a bite of the food he brought to my lips. It was good, but I couldn't bring myself to eat another bite.
"You've been dressing oddly with jeans and long shirts and sweaters. I don't think I've ever seen you go this long without make up and I'm pretty sure you've lost weight. Not to mention you haven't been in the kitchen lately and you've been quiet. When you're quiet like this it's…weird. You—"
"Something bad happened in New York." I said finally cutting him off.
He stared at me waiting for me to go on. "What happened?"
I didn't respond instead focusing on trying to eat another bite.
"Zoe, I am your friend. You can tell me anything. I will not judge you. I won't tell anyone. Please tell me what's going on so I can help you." Lavon said putting a hand on my arm.
I stiffened immediately at his touch and I pulled away shrinking into the couch.
Lavon stared at me confused and then something seemed to click as he registered the look on my face. "Zoe, what happened in New York?" he asked again slowly and deliberately.
"I uh…I can't say it." I finally stuttered out feeling tears gathering in my eyes. I reached for the glass and downed the whole thing wanting to make the feelings go away.
"Zoe…" Lavon said gently.
"I uh...I was…um…the worst thing that could happen…Gigi took me to this party and I got really drunk because I was still hurting over Wade…these two guys…please Lavon don't make me say it." I begged tears despite myself rolling down my eyes.
The look on his face had sympathy written all of it and I felt sick to my stomach knowing that I was the victim. I'd never been a victim.
"Did you call the police?" he finally asked.
I shook my head, "No. What's the point?" I whispered running a hand through my hair.
"Zoe there are people who can help you. If you want to fill out a report I'll be with you all the way. They could hurt other women and—"
"Lavon, it's been a long night. I just want to go to bed." I said standing up.
Lavon stared at me for a moment as if debating whether or not he should fight me on this.
"Zoe you should see someone. There are people who can help you. I can help you. Wade can help you. AB can help you. Even Lemon can help you." Lavon said gently.
I shook my head vehemently. "I don't want anyone's help. I just want to pretend it never happened. As for Wade…I never want him to know. He'd…he'd think I was dirty. He'd never want me now after…after what happened." I said trying to put on a brave face.
Lavon stared at me not knowing what to say. "He's not going to think that, Big Z. Wade loves you. He told you himself. He's waited all summer for you. He's turning into a really decent guy. No more sleeping with women either. He's waited all summer just for you." Lavon said trying to get that through my head.
I shook my head and nodded to the door. "I just want to go to sleep." I said quietly.
He stood and got up before he left he gave me a small smile and told me if I ever wanted to talk he'd be there. I didn't doubt him. I just didn't want to talk ever about it. Like I told him I was just going to pretend it didn't happen. I went to bed that night with a heavy heart and when I woke up tears stained my pillow.
A few days later as I walked home with an extra big bottle of Absolut from the liquor store I stopped to pour some into my flask. Once I was done I began to drink. It was Friday and I was off for the weekend so I had big plans to stay inside and drink until I was ok again. Maybe I'd clean too. As I stumbled down the road my feet growing heavy with every gulp a car pulled up next to me. I glanced at it not at all surprised to see Wade sitting in the driver's seat.
"Hard day?" he asked a teasing smile on his face.
I looked at him for a moment and then took a sip from my flask.
"What you got there, doc?" he asked nodding at the brown paper bag in one hand.
"What can I do for you, Wade?" I asked looking out at the road towards the plantation.
"I was thinking I could give you a ride since you know you live across the pond." He said as if it was the most sensible thing in the world.
I bit my lip and then shrugged knowing I still had a ways to go and knowing it was going to rain soon. The clouds were darkening rapidly and the last thing I wanted was to be stuck in the rain. I slid into the car and put the bag between my feet and then took another sip from the flask as we began to drive along.
"So what's new?" he asked trying for small talk.
"Nothing." I said quietly staring out the window.
I heard him shift next to me. "Listen, I know you've been avoiding me. I know you probably haven't forgiven me even though you've been in New York for three months, but…I've been waiting for you. I haven't seen any other girls or even looked at any other girls. I waited for you because I love you and I know it'll take some time for us to get back on the right path and for you to trust me, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm ready whenever you are." He said shakily.
I continued to stare out the window trying to block out his romantic speech. Two months ago I would've been ecstatic to hear what he had to say. Now I didn't know what to think. I was happy that he waited and he cared, but I also knew I couldn't be with him. I wasn't ready sexually and I wasn't ready emotionally. Yes I had forgiven him, but I didn't trust him and as if we didn't have issues before now we had a boatload more.
"I forgave you before I even went back to New York, Wade." I whispered still staring out the window.
"Good! That's good." He said surprised and happy.
There was silence in the car as he took that in.
"So maybe this weekend we could go to Mobile? Maybe go to this new restaurant that opened up? Tom and Wanda said they had really good—" Wade began.
"No." I said shortly taking a sip from the flash. I continued to stare out the window watching the clouds grow darker.
"No?" Wade asked astonished.
I shook my head as we neared the plantation.
"Why the hell not?" he asked his voice growing hard.
I didn't respond as I finished up the rest of what was in the flask and grabbed for the bottle between my feet.
"Zoe, what is going on?" he demanded to know as I lifted the bag into my arms and reached in. Suddenly he pulled over and we jerked to a stop. I sloppily held on to the bottle for dear life and looked over at him confused.
"Why are we stopping?" I asked hoping he didn't notice the slur in my tone.
"I just poured my heart out to you for the second time and all you say to me is 'I forgive you, but I don't want to go out with you.'" he said angrily.
I looked down at the console between us avoiding his eyes. I didn't want him to see how broken I was. "That's not what I said." I responded.
"No, but that's basically it. What do I have to do to get you to forgive me?" he asked angrily.
"I do forgive you! I just don't trust you." I said finally looking up at him and matching his loud tones. "I'm happy you waited for me! I really am! I waited for you too, but I'm just…I can't go out with you right now." I said fidgeting in my seat as he stared at me intensely.
"Why not?" he demanded to know.
I shook my head not wanting to tell him the truth.
"Is there someone else?" he asked vulnerability leaking into his voice. "Is it Golden Boy George?" He asked his voice getting louder.
I looked up at him and into his eyes wanting him to understand now more than ever. "I've been over George for a long time, Wade. I just didn't know it until I went to New York and the only thing I thought of was you. I love you. I want you. It's always been you." I said the honestly that comes with drinking finally slipping out.
I gulped and looked away from him scared to see his reaction.
"Then why have you been acting this way? Why have you been avoiding me?" he asked quietly.
I looked away and rubbed a hand through my hair.
"Why have you been dressing differently and being holed up in your house? What's going on, Zoe?" he asked.
I bit my lip and hugged the bottle to my chest.
"Did something happen in New York?" he asked gently.
"No." I spat before grabbing my purse and opening the door. I hadn't noticed it started raining as I got out, but I didn't care. We were almost to the pond anyway and I knew if I sat in the car for more than a few minutes longer with Wade Kinsella he'd know the entire truth. And I didn't want that.
I should've known that Wade wouldn't leave me alone after I bolted out of his car. But I didn't expect to see him so soon. After I had gotten home I'd opened the new bottle and began to drink it until I passed out till morning. When I awoke I took a shower and went back to drinking not wanting to be alone with my thoughts. Around noon I decided to go outside for a walk, but taking one look at the sky I knew it was going to rain again, so I hiked it to Lavon's and went into the kitchen hoping to find something small to eat. All of my clothes were beginning to hang off of me and I knew if I didn't start eating normally again I was going to be a bag of bones. I didn't want that, but I also didn't want to eat. Everything made my stomach turn and I felt sick.
When I walked into the kitchen I found Lavon and Wade talking quietly. Although when they saw me they both shut up really fast. I gave them a weak smile and then went to the refrigerator to see if there was anything to nibble on.
"I made pancakes." Wade said drawing my attention from the fridge.
I stared at the pancakes debating whether I could eat them or not. I decided for it since nothing in the fridge looked good so I sat at the counter in my usual seat and handed Wade a plate. He gave me five and I raised an eyebrow at him.
"I'm not going to eat all of that." I said trying to put the pancakes back.
"Zoe eat the pancakes you aren't looking so good." Wade said pushing them back on my plate.
I stared at them, "Why does everyone keep saying that! Is it because I stopped wearing designer clothes and not wearing make up! Maybe I got tired of it! Maybe I didn't want to wear any of that stuff anymore! Maybe I just don't want anyone to notice me." I yelled looking between the two of them.
They looked at me shocked and I got off the stool to leave them, but Lavon interfered knowing what I was actually going through.
"Zoe! You need to eat something. We're just worried about you. If you don't want to wear that stuff you don't have to, but please eat." Lavon said.
I stared down at the ground and tentatively walked back to the island and looked at my pancakes.
"What exactly is going on?" Wade asked as I picked at my pancakes.
"What are you two hiding?" he asked looking back and forth between Lavon and I.
I avoided his gaze, but I heard Lavon sigh. "Zoe you need to tell him." Lavon said quietly.
I shook my head too scared to say the words. If I say the words it'll make everything more real and I don't want that. I wanted to pretend it didn't happen. I wanted to go back to carefree Zoe who enjoyed life and interacted with tons of people. I wanted my old self back, but now I just felt broken. So completely broken. I just wanted everything that hurt to go away. But on the other hand if I told Wade would it help? Could I ever be carefree Zoe again? I figured maybe the way to get back to being me was to come clean to finally face my demons.
"Tell me what?" Wade asked feeling lost in the conversation.
Lavon gave me a sympathetic look and reached out to touch me, but when I recoiled he thought better of it. Wade watched suspiciously and I knew that what I so desperately wished to go away wasn't. Maybe it was time to come clean.
I let out a small sigh and reached into my sweatpants pocket before taking the flask out and drinking from it.
"Zoe. Stop." Wade said grabbing the flask from me.
"Tell me what's going on." He demanded to know and threw the flask in the sink.
I let out a little whimper and looked at Lavon who gave me and encouraging smile.
"Lavon can we have a minute?" Wade asked without taking his eyes off of me.
Lavon nodded and got up and disappeared out of the kitchen.
Wade waited until he was out of the door before turning to me. His eyes burned into me and I felt my stomach twist into nerves.
"Now tell me, what's going on? Why are you drinking so much that you could rival Crazy Earl! And why are you dressing so un-Zoe like? What's wrong with you, doc?" he asked anxiously.
I sighed and bite my lip trying to concentrate on the pain instead of what I had to tell Wade. I needed his innocence for a bit longer so he'd look at me like he loved me instead of how he was going to, like I was dirty and pathetic and asking for it.
"Is it because of what happened? Between us with that wom—"
"It's not about your…indiscretions." I said tired of everyone going straight to that.
"It's not about you, Wade." I said quietly picking at my chipped nail polish.
"Then what is going on?" he asked angrily.
"Something happened in New York." I whispered staring down at my nails. "Something really bad." I added.
Wade let out a deep breath. "I thought you said you waited for me. Did you sleep with someone, doc?" he asked trying to sound angry, but I could hear the hurt in his voice.
I closed my eyes and opened them finally concentrating on Wade and his hurt blue eyes.
I took a deep breath and began. "I spent two months wallowing over you Wade and by the end of the second month Gigi had, had enough. She wanted me to be me again. She was going to a party at one of her friend's houses and she asked me to come. I drank a lot, to the point where I almost blacked out. Gigi didn't want to leave so she told me to go into one of the bedrooms to sleep it off until she was ready. So I did." I paused and looked out the window behind Wade. I took a deep breath in and a deep breath out as he waited patiently.
"I didn't hear them come in, but I awoke to these guys…they uh…they videotaped me and they took turns having…having…sex with me…I tried to fight them off, but…I'm not exactly big." I said trying to laugh. It came out more as a strangled sound.
Wade stared at me his brain trying to process the words.
"Gigi finally found me. She took me home and asked me what had happened, but I didn't tell her. I didn't want to tell anyone." I whispered.
Wade sat there not knowing what to say as he ran a hand through his hair continuously.
"What exactly are you saying, Zoe?" he asked not able to understand what had happened. I guess I didn't blame him, bad things didn't happen in Bluebell.
"I was raped, Wade." I said before sliding out of my seat and walking to the door. I hesitated for a moment not wanting to look at the pity in his eyes. "That's why I can't go out with you. Who would want me now." I said staring out the door before twisting the handle and sliding out.
I didn't get very far before Wade grabbed me and spun me around. I jumped nearly a foot in the air when he touched me and he held his hands up in a surrender position. Neither of us noticed the rain that had begun to fall around us.
"I'm not going to hurt you." he said quietly.
I guess something in my face must have said otherwise because he even took a small step backwards.
We stared at each other for awhile neither of us knowing what to say.
"Did you call the police?" he asked finally.
I shook my head, "there's no point. It's my own—"
"It's not your fault, Zoe. You have to know that. Those guys…if I could find those guys I would kill them, ya hear? I would torture and kill them for days and they'd be looking for the body for years. You don't deserve that no one does, but you especially. I don't think you're tainted or whatever you think is going through your head. I still want you. I still love you and I know it's going to take awhile for us to trust each other again and for you to be comfortable, but we love each other and that's enough." He said passionately.
I watched as he took a few small steps forward waiting for me to tell him to back down, but I didn't. Instead I took a small step closer feeling for the first time in a month that a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
"I'm not sure when I'll be ready, you know. It's going to take some time." I whispered staring up at him.
He shook his head, "That's fine. As long as we try again we can move as slow as we want. You need to learn to trust me again and I need to learn to become the man you deserve." He said lifting his hand and began to reach for me, but right as he was about to touch me he sighed and took a step back.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't—"
"Wade, it's ok I'm not made of glass." I said a ghost of a small appearing on my face.
He gave me a gentle smile back. "So about this weekend, do you want to maybe go to Mobile? Check out the restaurant?"
I nodded slowly wondering if what I was doing was right. "Are you sure though? I mean, I'm kinda a mess." I said quietly fidgeting in front of him.
He smiled and shrugged. "Yeah, but I love you anyway." His smile dropped and he regarded me seriously. "I will be here for you, Zoe. Whatever you need. I will always be there for you." he said.
I nodded slowly not knowing how to take his declaration.
"I think you should stop drinking too." He said so quietly I would've missed it if we weren't so close.
I raised an eyebrow at him.
"It's just—it's not going to help. It'll just make everything worse and anyway you're better than that, doc. You're Doctor Zoe Hart you can do anything." He said giving me his usual Wade smile.
I nodded feeling self-conscious at his belief in me.
"I'm going to be ok, Wade. It'll just take time." I said.
"I know, I just want you to know I'm here for you."
"I know and I appreciate it and I accept your offer for a real date on whatever day you pick for the weekend."
"Good. I'll pick you up tomorrow at 7." He said before taking another step forward.
I smiled slightly as he shifted nervously in front of me. "Is it ok, if I kiss you?" he whispered his signature Wade smell drifting into my nostrils.
I nodded and he leaned down and gave me the gentlest and sweetest kiss I'd ever had. The gesture was almost heartbreaking as he moved away.
"We should probably go back." He said before taking a step back.
I stared at him for a moment as he stared at me and then we tentatively walked back to the house our arms brushing each other's as we moved. When it came to go our separate ways I pressed a chaste kiss to his cheeks and muttered my thank you.
When I got home I began to clean my house and a real smile blossomed on my face the first one in a month. I wasn't by any means better, but I did feel a weight had been lifted off me. It would take a lot of healing and a lot of talking it out, no drinking and running, but I figured with people around that cared and with Wade being supportive maybe I could overcome the incident and look to the future.
One step at a time.
(A/n: Sad, I know, but I hoped you liked it! This was my first Zade so I hope I kept the characters believable. Please review!)