I arrived home after work, early afternoon. I had run home to keep form getting wet. A huge storm was on the way. The air was warm and muggy and the smell of rain was all around. The slow drizzle had made up my mind and I had decided to shut up shop and get home before the storm hit.
Getting to the front door, I pushed it open and shut it, leaning against the door, sighing heavily from the relief of managing to stay relatively dry. Pushing myself off the door I made my way through the cozy house I shared with my husband. The house was quiet apart from the sound of a soft hum coming from the bedroom. Peeking round the door I saw Bofur sitting in front of the fire on a little stool, chiselling away at a small piece of wood he had been trying to make into a pretty young girl for a while now. The soft glow from the fire showed a look of concentration etched onto his kind features, which was making me chuckle silently.
Bofur had recently taken to toy-making as a hobby. A few months ago he had come to me, after being at work in the mines, a look of fear etched on his face.
***Flashback***
'Bofur?' Looking up from my sewing I saw apprehension covering his face. He had come straight from the mines, judging by the mess his hair and clothes were in.
'What's wrong? What's happened?' Standing up from my chair I hurried towards him, standing in front of him grabbing his shirt in balled up fists I shook him, as if trying to shake him out of his trance.
'Bofur!?' I still got no reply. 'For Mahal's sake say something! Anything!' His eyes unglazed slightly and he properly focused on me and as if seeing me for the first time since arriving home he embraced me without warning. Bringing me into a tight and almost desperate hug. His hands wound tightly around my shoulders and back, not allowing me to move.
'Lass' he sounded breathless, as if he had just run all the way home.
'Cave in…. mines…. some survived' pulling away from me, he grabbed my shoulders and stood arms length from me he continued.
'Some didn't' gulping, he began to shake slightly, as though the shock of it all had only just hit him. The light that was normally evident in his eyes was now no where to be seen. The constant state of content on his face now absent and replaced with pure distress.
'Mahal Bofur! Are you hurt? Were you involved? Come, sit.' Dragging him over to the chair I had been sitting in, I noticed he was limping. Forcing him into the seat I knelt in front of him and took a hold of his thigh, bringing his leg out straight towards me, the whole time carefully watching his face to determine if he was in pain.
'Tell me where it hurts Bofur.' I was worried about him and I wanted to fix what was wrong with him, as soon as I could to make him better. To turn him back into my, happy, positive Bofur and I was going to start with his leg.
'My ankle… I think… Dai, please I will survive, just come here.' I took my gaze off his ankle and back up to him.
'Bofur it could be broken, we need to get your boot off.' Why was he being like this, surely he wanted his body to be fixed as soon as possible, surely he was in pain?
'Please…. Dai…. come here' a hand appeared in front of my face, reluctantly I took it and Bofur pulled me onto his lap. 'I just need you close right now.' Taking a quick moment to think about what he had been through I arrived at the conclusion that if I were in his situation, all I would want is him with me. Resting gently on his lap, trying to avoid his ankle. I snuggled my face into his neck allowing his arms to rest on my waist, pulling me into him. I knew he was content just sitting with me, but I was getting restless and had begun to wonder who had lost their life in the cave in. Was it someone we knew? Is this why he was acting so strange. I understood that he needed to mourn. Cave in's weren't common but they weren't unheard of either. He would usually deal with them by mourning, but not like this. Normally, he would go to the tavern and drink some ale, drink away his sorrows, allow himself to wallow for a night only. When he would crawl into bed, I could always smell the heavy alcohol on him, but I was never angry at him for drinking the way he did, instead I pitied him because the next morning he would be his jolly, happy go lucky self again. However, I was perfectly aware that this was a mask, that this was his way of coping. There was of course a point where the coping mechanism would come to an end and his real personality would come through again. This behaviour was not normal, there was something different about it and I was itching to ask.
I leaned back and shifting my weight turned to look at him. His eyes had glazed over again and he was seeing something I couldn't. I had to try again, I had to ask and find out what had cause him to be in this state.
'Bofur?' it came out barely a whisper. 'How did you hurt your ankle?'
He turned his head to look at me and gulped. 'It was different this time, Dai. I was in the mine when it collapsed.' The colour in my face drained and my eyes began to water. 'But, there were dwarves further in than me. I had to help, I had to at least try. I was running to safety when I heard their screaming, they were shouting for help. Helg and I, we turned and ran back down the mine.'
'You fool, Bofur! It was suicide!' I was annoyed now. Jumping off of him I began pacing, allowing him to continue.
'We ran, but as we did rocks began to fall.' He was talking quickly now, he was blatantly upset. 'It got too dangerous for us to carry on, the ceiling was coming down on us. There were rocks coming from everywhere. I knew we had to get out of there otherwise we would be goners for sure.' Bofur had not moved from the chair. I, on the other hand was still pacing my head in my hands. I thought I was going to be sick. Bofur was not brave, he made stupid decisions, but never this stupid. How could he have been so utterly foolish? He was still silent. I was still unsure where his physical injury came into this story.
As if hearing my thoughts he began talking again, this time his eyes were closed. Cutting off his vision to this world and opening up the one inside his head. 'Helg, he tripped…. and …. a… a… boulder… from the roof.' He spoke slowly, it hurt him to relive it, anyone could hear that. I brought my head out of my hands to look at him. He had also turned white and was shaking again. All that was running through my mind was that I could of lost him. He was right, it was different this time. He was one of the miners who was in danger. Another wave of sickness came over me.
It took everything I had in me not to shout. 'I could have lost you, Bofur' it came out as a whisper. I had begun to shake now. Within moments strong arms were wrapped round me, stopping my knees from buckling underneath me. I know I was being selfish, but a life without Bofur in it was no life at all for me. Tears were now streaming down my face as I thought about him being in the mine when it collapsed. How scared he would have been and how helpless he would have felt.
'Sssshhhh, lass. It's okay. I ain't going anywhere.' I peeled my cheek from his chest and looked up at him, he had a tiny smile on his face.
'Promise me that you'll never do anything brave. Ever again.' I chocked out.
'I promise lass.'