We've stuck together through thick and thin, but this time, it's more important than ever that we stay by each other. I need to support them; they need to assure me they're fine. And we have to get through it all, together.
Ted clutches the leash of his guide dog; Ned clutches his head in agony. They stumble, they ache, but they stay strong… for me. They know I can't bear to see them suffer, while I'm only left with several scars. They remind me of our terrible past - a past of deceit and betrayal. They remind me of how stupid we were: fighting over the Clues so that we could be the most powerful people on Earth.
I remember it as though it was yesterday: the walls caved in and the ceiling came crashing to the earth. The cracking of tiles and bricks resonated in our heads. We were buried under the rubble and more kept falling. The last thing I remember before I blacked out was my brothers, calling my name; and the innocent bystanders, confused and screaming in terror. And it's my fault that we were the victims. I didn't listen when Amy and Dan told us not to go. I didn't trust them when they were the only honest ones in the race, because I stuck to the family motto: Trust no one.
And it was the worst mistake I ever made.
Now - as Ned almost falls to the floor, holding back tears and cries of anguish, and Ted relies on his other senses to compensate for his blindness, leaving everything to his imagination - I see the glances they give us in my peripheral vision. Glances of sympathy. And I reply by glaring back, because we don't need their pity. We brought this onto ourselves.
Not that they'll ever hear me say that.
In a way, our injuries are good. If it weren't us, it would be Amy and Dan, who are younger and have more of their lives left. Yet I still can't help but only focus on the negatives…
We're always the odd ones out: a duo of handicaps, and their sister, their carer. I may not be in as much pain as Ned and Ted, but my heart aches having to see my brothers almost helpless and me being fine. But I'm not fine. It's because of the fact that I'm not injured that I'm hurting so much.
I should be suffering with them because we do everything together; even get injured…
I gently guide them by their arms through the hospital doors to meet yet another specialist, and I wonder why it wasn't me instead… or at the very least, me as well as them.
I hide my tears. I don't want the others to know how weak I am. I guess they would understand - all of them but Jonah have siblings - but I still don't want them to see me as vulnerable and weak… but am I really anything else? Behind the masks of strength and dominance we all wear, what else is left but the weaknesses we hide?
Just a reminder that, although I'd love to, I don't own the 39 Clues.
For those reading my multi-chap, Some Secrets Are Best Shared- it will be updated as soon as the site allows me to upload the file.
Big thankyou to my amazing beta. (:
Please Review this- it means so much to me when you do!
~Nikki