Hello wonderful readers(meaning, if you are reading this, you are wonderful)! I am back with what could possibly be the most random, weird, interesting, fun and laughable crossover ever made! (Well, in my opinion anyway) To give you a basic overview, Sheldon decides to have a fun dream with the Doctor from Doctor Who, but then his dream keeps getting interrupted by the most random characters possible, ones chosen specifically because they would annoy Sheldon the most :)
I will not specify which characters are in this story, but here are the fandoms(books, movies, etc.) that I plucked characters out of(in random order of appearance): Dukes of Hazzard, Jane Austin books, Star Wars, VeggieTales, The Vampire Diaries, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle stories, Percy Jackson & The Olympians, and The Big Bang Theory.
Please ENJOY the story and let me know what you think in a REVIEW! Thank you :) Li Li
Disclaimer(to protect my behind): Alright, I own none of these characters. None. Nada. Zilch. Nope. Nothing whatsoever. Never in a million years will I own them. Get the idea? Good. Then continue on with your reading.
Sheldon plopped down on his bed, heaving a groan. He had a bad day, with Leonard deciding to change the temperature(without proper written consent!) and Penny had thought that today would be a good try-calling-Sheldon-names-in-Spanish day(she still had no concept of how to pronounce dipstick in Spanish). But now the day was ended and he could finally go to bed and dream about a world much less emotional, more scientific and less Pennyish.
He pulled the covers snug and closed his eyes, ready to see what new adventures would await him.
"Sheldon, flip that switch, turn that thingy and hand me my sonic screwdriver." Sheldon was pleased to see that this night's adventure would be traveling with the Doctor, one of his favorite characters(not as good as Spock, but close).
"Of course, where are we planning on going?" Sheldon asked, doing as told.
The Doctor shrugged. "Depends, we have all of time and space to explore," He grinned at Sheldon, "Your pick."
Sheldon eagerly thought of a place and time that he would like to visit. "I have always wanted to see..." He was interrupted by a new voice.
"Oi, what is this place?"
Sheldon and the Doctor both turned to the unknown visitor, a boy of around 18 who had red hair. "Excuse, but who are you?" Sheldon asked.
Before the boy could answer, a boy of exact likeness came up from the corner. "Don't answer them, Fred, they look like Muggles to me."
"Ah, true that. But I still want to know where we are."
"You are inside my TARDIS," The Doctor answered. "But what I want to know is how you managed to get in here."
The two shrugged simultaneously. "No idea," replied the one called Fred. "George and I were just messing about in our invention room, trying to make a new potion that would put anyone to sleep for an hour with just one sip, and a great flash of light filled the room and the next thing we know, here we are in your, what did you call it? TARDIS."
"Funny name," the one called George remarked, "What does it mean?"
"Time And Relative Dimensions In Space." Sheldon and the Doctor replied together.
Fred leaped up to the console, starting to poke buttons. "Too much of a long and complicated name, if you ask me. What does this button do?" He asked pressing a blue button.
The Doctor jumped at him, trying to get to another button as the TARDIS suddenly jerked to one direction. The Doctor was finally able to stabilize the ship, but not before Sheldon was well fed up with the twins.
"If you would not mind leaving and going back to wherever you two inferior life forms came from, it would be greatly appreciated."
"Inferior life forms? I think as a Muggle you are using pretty big words to describe us." George replied, crossing his arms.
"Yeah, and besides, we can't just pop back to our shop, since we have no idea how we got here in the first place!" Fred added, crossing his arms as well.
The Doctor interrupted. "I can get you back to your home. But, who are you two anyway?"
"Fred and George Weasley," The two responded.
Weasley? Sheldon tried to place that name, but he could not remember where he had heard that name before.
"As for you, skinny guy..." George began.
"My name is Sheldon Cooper, PH. D, M.A..."
"Yeah, yeah, Sheldon with lots of letters after his name, our friend Harry Potter is a very important person where we come from, and is always willing to help us put Muggles back in their place."
"He is?" Fred whispered.
"With this Muggle, I think he would be willing to help," George whispered back.
Sheldon was not paying any attention to this exchange, his mind caught in a whirlwind of thought. Harry Potter? He hated those books! How in the world would these two characters from a stupid book series invade his dream? Oh, of course. Raj had fallen in love with those books, his two favorite characters being Fred and George Weasley, so he was constantly describing to Sheldon(much too Sheldon's annoyance) the adventures of the Twins in the books, and any fun stories from the addition of Fan Fiction that he had been able to get at. But why were they invading his mind now? He could think of no answer, and decided to let the Doctor get these two back to their proper worlds, so he could get back to his own adventure.
The Doctor at this time was busy punching in coordinates, while Fred and George were busy trying to punch buttons and pull lever.
Sheldon sighed and sat down, hoping that this issue would be resolved quickly.
"Excuse me," said a voice behind him, "but do you know where I am?"
Sheldon spun around to see a man with a high forehead, old-fashioned clothing and a pipe standing by Sheldon's seat, staring at him.
"Um, the TARDIS." Sheldon replied, not sure who these new person was.
"TARDIS? I am not familiar with that location. What part of London is it?"
"It is not part of London."
"No, of course not, I think I would remember such a place." The man thought for a moment before addressing Sheldon again, "I hope that you may be able to help me, sir. I was sitting in my flat before a great beam of light flashed and I now found myself standing here, unable to recognize what place this is. I wonder where Watson ended up at?"
Sheldon just stared at him. "Watson?" He asked, shakily.
The man nodded. "Yes, Dr. John Watson, my friend and fellow lodger. Have you seen him about?"
Sheldon tried to collect his thoughts. "Are you Sherlock Holmes?"
The man analyzed Sheldon. "Yes, I can see that I must be in a place that I am known. Are we still in England?"
Before Sheldon could even think of a reply, the Doctor replied, "No, but we should be soon."
"And who, dear sir, are you?" Sherlock Holmes asked, striding up to the console, "and what is this fantastic machine?"
The Doctor beamed, always pleased to impress people with the TARDIS. "My TARDIS. That means..."
"Time And Relative Dimensions In Space," the twins explained together, still looking for fun buttons to push.
Sherlock put his pipe in his mouth, thinking. "Time And...hmmmm." While he was in deep thought, the Doctor went back to punching in numbers.
"If you tell me where you are from and what time period, I can get you back to your home."
Sherlock pulled himself out of his thoughts and replied, "22B Baker Street, London, England. I am quite certain that you know what day it is."
The twins looked up. "Wait, I think I remember Hermione telling us a Muggle story that included that place. Are you Sherlock Holmes?" George asked.
"Yes, I am. But what is a Muggle?"
"A non-magic person." Fred answered.
"Non-magic person? My dear boy, there is no such thing as magic, only science and the research that is used to understand our world. What silly notions you seem to have grown up with."
"Oi, silly notions?" Fred replied, stalking up to Sherlock. "I will have you know, that there is such a thing as magic and that we use it everyday."
Sherlock seemed slightly amused. "Oh, really? Then show us what kind of 'magic' you can do."
Fred reached into his pocket, but came up empty. "George, where's my wand?"
George coughed. "Um, I think we left them on our workbench back in the shop."
"But how are we supposed to show our skills?"
Sherlock rolled his eyes. "So, your magic skills extend to how you point a stick, very impressive. I am sure you can do great things, such as stir a bowl of batter or poke someone in the arm."
Fred and George looked about ready to pounce on Sherlock, but the Doctor wisely jumped in. "Alright, I don't think we need to argue over who can point a stick the best. Sheldon, could you come and help me?"
Sheldon sighed and stood up, hoping that these people would soon be gone. At least Sherlock was sticking to logic and keeping the Twins occupied.
Sheldon helped to pull some levers, but the computer was not responding. An error message showed on the screen, and the Doctor took out a hammer and tried hitting it away, but nothing worked. Pretty soon a voice came from the computer, a male voice.
"Hello? Can anyone hear me? Where am I and how did I get from my kitchen to this place?"
"We can hear you, can you hear us?" The Doctor called out.
"Yes, quite clearly. Hey, is there any way that I can see things? It is awfully dark in here."
The Doctor tried a few buttons, and suddenly a red tomato with eyes, a nose and a mouth showed up on screen.
"Thank goodness, I was getting worried about being stuck in there. Thank you for the help."
"You are welcome, but who are you and how did you get inside the TARDIS's computer?"
"TARDIS?" the tomato answered, "I have no idea what that is or how I got in here. I was just talking to Larry, trying to decide what sort of Christmas party we should throw this year."
"Um, okay, I seem to be getting a lot of people who show up here like that. What is your name?"
"I am Bob the Tomato."
Fred snorted. "Naming what kind of veggie you are seems to be redundant."
"Yeah, why not just stick with Bob the Red, or Bob the round. Seems a little more descriptive then just what vegetable category you fit in,"George added.
"It was the name I was born with, so what is wrong with that? But, getting back to the point, how do I get out of here and back to my home?"
The Doctor tried a few levers. "I will have to work on it a bit, and I cannot get anyone home until I have this computer problem fixed, so if you will excuse me..." The Doctor opened a hatch and climbed down to where the computer wires were.
Sherlock approached the screen, memorized. "How extraordinary, a talking picture that moves. This place is really the height of scientific discovery."
Sheldon nodded. "My thinking exactly. Which, by the way, Mr. Holmes I must compliment you on your great scientific discoveries yourself, and your ability to never let emotions or supernatural superstitions get in the way of logic."
"Thank you, it is nice to see that I am not the only logically thinking person in this place."
"Hey!" The twins yelled.
"If I may ask, what constitutes supernatural superstitions?" Bob asked.
"Religion..." Sherlock stared.
"God..." Sheldon added.
"Heaven..."
"Hell..."
"Magic..."
George held up his hand. "Hold it right there. Magic is real, we will prove it to you as soon as we get our wands back."
"And the ones you mentioned before that are true and valid. Magic may not exist, but God certainly does." Bob chimed in.
"Wait, you don't think magic exists, but you stick up for some invisible guy in the sky? And you think we're looney." Fred remarked.
Bob turned to the twins. "Magic is nothing more than a weapon that Satan uses to draw people into themselves and away from God, believing that by merely summoning a 'power' they can do incredible things, without turning to God, and they instead end up turning to Satan, who does not require payment for his 'gifts', until death rolls around."
Before you could say 'and let the fur fly', the twins and Bob were engaged in a full fledge theological/supernatural argument. The twins maintained that magic did exist, and that Bob was the naive one to believe that God or Satan was even a factor. Bob countered that if magic exists, where does it come from? Does it just Exist in the world, and some people have the ability to use it, or can anyone learn to use it by 'believing' in it?
Sherlock and Sheldon exchanged knowing looks and turned back to the benches, reclining on them and discussing some of Sherlock's finer points of scientific research.
As he and Sherlock talked, Sheldon thought her heard a voice say, "excuse me." He ignored it, and no one else noticed it.
"Excuse me!" The voice shouted after being ignored for a minute.
Bob and the twins shut up, Sherlock and Sheldon turned around and the Doctor poked his head up from the hatch.
The voice belonged to a beautiful, brunette woman, mid-twenties, who was wearing the shortest shorts any of the men had ever seen(except the Doctor, but those shorts were on a fat man in the Vodae system, and he did not want to remember that trip).
"Excuse me, but do ya'll know how I got here?" The men just stared at her, not able to form coherent thoughts in their minds.
Bob was the first to respond. "None of us have a clue, we all just randomly showed up here."
The Doctor collected himself and added, "Yes, just randomly. If you would tell me where you are from, I can try and get you back there as soon as I can fix my computer that he," pointing at Bob, "has invaded."
"Hey! I did not mean to 'invade' anything, I was just minding my own business when I showed up here on this screen. I am sorry for that, but I had no control over it."
"The talking tomato picture is correct, none of us meant to be here." Sherlock agreed.
"So, where are you from?" The Doctor asked.
"Hazzard County, in..." The woman began.
"Hazzard!" Sheldon cried. "What is your name?"
"Daisy Duke."
Sheldon just about collapsed. Daisy Duke, of the Dukes of Hazzard! In his dream! Why on Earth would she be...of course. Howard loved the Dukes of Hazzard, mostly so he could stare at Daisy Duke, and he was constantly talking about the show and trying to get Sheldon to watch it. Why were everyone's favorite fictional characters invading his space?(although, the tomato was still of unknown friend relation.)
While Sheldon was thinking this, Daisy had told the Doctor all her relevant information and he had disappeared down the hatch once again, leaving the TARDIS passengers standing around.
"So," Fred began, "what do you believe in: God or magic?"
Daisy stared at him like he had just fallen off a dead horse. "Um, what?"
Sherlock jumped in. "You will have to excuse them. They seem to have the bodies of teenage boys, but the minds of infants when it comes to science and how the world works."
Daisy grinned. "I thought that teenage boys never had a brain beyond an infant?"
Bob laughed, catching Daisy's attention. "What is that?"
"I'm Bob the Tomato, pleased to meet you."
"Nice to meet you, Bob. So tell me, what's a vegetable like you doing in a place like this?"
Bob sighed. "I wish I knew. It has been quite an interesting experience that God has placed me in. I have never met such an varied group of people in my life. And, the subject of discussion has proven to be quite thought-provoking."
"Right," George interjected, "About that, have you ever actually met a wizard before? And if not, how can you know for certain that magic does not exist?"
The debate began again, and Daisy took a seat to watch the show, thinking the three contenders had all gone crackers, but was interested by the subject matter.
Sherlock turned to Sheldon. "Do you have a light? I was hoping to start smoking my pipe again and begin to think through how I could have gotten here."
Sheldon shook his head, beginning to feel grumpy. "No, I believe that smoking creates the worst stench in the world, filling the atmosphere with poisonous gases."
Sherlock was not pleased with this observation, and went in search of a light from other passengers.
Sheldon was slightly unhappy about making his favorite book character upset, but he was too depressed to dwell on it. His perfect adventure dream was being ruined by his 'friends' favorite characters. He wished he could make them all go...wait! This was his dream, so he could just focus hard and will all the characters away.
He closed his eyes, focusing all his energy on getting those people out of here. Perhaps everyone except Sherlock could blow up, and Sherlock could use his genius to leave. Yes, that would please Sheldon.
He focused hard. Nothing happened. He focused harder. He could still hear the stupid theological debate going on. He focused even harder, holding his breath in order to put all his thought process into willing everyone away. He felt his lungs beginning to beg for air, but he ignored it. This was his dream. His escape from the stupidity of reality. No one was going to ruin this for him. All he had to do was focus all his mind on...
"Hey you, skinny guy, I got a couple questions for you."
Sheldon gasped for air as his eyes flew open and he found himself staring up at a man, probably considered handsome by female humans, casually leaning against the TARDIS's railing, wearing black pants and a black shirt.
"What?" Sheldon managed to say between breathes.
"Okay, good, your alive. Or, mostly alive anyway. Two questions: One, where the heck am I? And two, who is that fine looking lady in the shorts and low top?"
"You are on board the TARDIS, a ship of some kind, I believe," Sherlock answered, coming up with a lit pipe and a frown, "And that lady that you seem to be rudely staring at his a Miss Daisy Duke, who is stuck along with the rest of us here until the Doctor, the captain of this ship if you will, solves his, um, 'computer' problems, as he put it."
The new guy smirked. "Daisy Duke, huh? Never watched that show, but I always admire a lady pretty enough to wear those shorts. A little dinner for her, and maybe later I could have my own sort of dinner on her..."
"Who are you?" Sheldon asked, getting into the drill.
"Damon Salvatore, you can add a The at the beginning if you would like. By the way," he pointed to the debaters, "what's with the kids yelling at the red ball? They do realize that they are arguing with a dumb looking computer graphic, right?"
"Dumb looking!" Bob yelled, "And a red ball? I am a tomato, sir, not a play toy."
Damon laughed. "You have got to be kidding me. Since when do computer's have feelings? Where are we? Lost in Space?"
"You have no idea," Sheldon mumbled, racking his brain for this new characters. Hmm, perhaps a favorite of Leonard's? No, Leonard didn't like attractive men who didn't wear capes. Made him feel that the only way those guys could look and be that cool was if they had been bitten by a radioactive spider or were from an alien planet. Whose then could he belong to? Suddenly, it hit him. Penny! Damon Salvatore was a character from some t.v. show she loved called The Vampire Diaries. Just what he needed, a lady's man invading his dream, with offers of dinner for the woman and a later dinner for him, uh...wait, he's a vampire? Oh dear.
Sheldon scrambled up, running to the Doctor. "Um, Doctor, we may have a slight problem."
"What?" The Doctor called from the depths of the TARDIS.
"We have another new person, but I think we need to send them back quickly."
"That is what I am trying to do."
"No, I mean really quickly, like right now. The man is very dangerous and could possibly kill us all. Well, at least you all. I am kind of safe since this is my supposed dream." Sheldon mumbled at the end, still not pleased that he was unable to will everyone away.
The Doctor poked his head out. "Sheldon, I cannot send anyone back until I fix the computer. Now, who is the problem?" Sheldon pointed at Damon, who was trying to smooth talk Daisy. "Him? Why is he a danger? Is he an alien?"
"Um, well, no, actually. He is a vampire."
The Doctor snorted. "Vampires do not exist, Sheldon, you of all people should know that. If he tries to harm anyone, let me know. But until then, just try and fix the 'problem' yourself." The Doctor went back down, and Sheldon knew that he would be unlikely to reach him again for a while.
Sheldon steadied himself and turned towards Damon. He would be certain to keep an eye on the man, but he would try and keep his distance, as to avoid being a possible snack. Although, perhaps Damon could be convinced that twins were quite appetizing and then that would solve that annoyance for Sheldon as well! Sheldon perked up a bit at that thought, but refrained from attempting to put it into action as the Doctor would not be pleased if the floor got dirty.
Sherlock was sitting off to the side, seemingly lost in his pipe, so Sheldon decided to approach him and try to make amends for insulting his greatest past time.
But he was stopped by Daisy slapping Damon and storming off to the other side of the control panel. Damon rubbed his cheek. "Hmm, I take that as a no then. Man, she takes things WAY too personally."
"I am sure that whatever you said to her made you deserve a slap to the face," Sherlock remarked, his mind still lost in his thoughts.
Damon glared at Sherlock. "All I asked was if she wanted to find a room somewhere and 'get to know each other'. She seemed receptive until she decided that I was a bit bold. Most women are in my arms within minutes, no idea why she was not so open."
"Perhaps her mind is strong enough to stand up to compulsion," Sheldon blurted out, hating that Penny had talked about Damon so much that he even knew what compulsion was.
Damon glared at Sheldon. "How do you know what compulsion is?"
"The same way that I know you are some sort of vampyric creature who just wants to drink her blood." Sheldon retorted, not caring what he held back or told them.
Fred and George stared at Damon. "Vampire?"
"How cool!"
"How fantastic!"
"Can you really turn into a bat?"
"Do you sleep in a coffin?"
"Ever met a werewolf you didn't like?"
"How does this compulsion thing work?"
"Is it like hypnosis?"
"Can it get us some food?"
"Can it get us a date?"
Damon glared at the two of them, not sure who to respond to. Then Bob decided to chime in, "Vampires do not exist either. They are on the same level as wizards: pure fiction."
Damon decided to confront the tomato rather than the twins. "Watch it, salad topping, if you weren't on that computer screen I could suck the, well, um...If you had blood I could totally suck the life out of you right now."
"Oh really?" Bob retorted.
"Really!"
"Really?" The twins asked at the same time. Damon groaned and stalked off, as the twins abandoned Bob to bombard Damon with questions about vampires, compulsion and werewolves(the last one especially annoyed Damon, since the twins thought werewolves were one of the coolest things ever).
Sheldon was silently hoping that Damon would get so fed up with the twins that he would decide to really prove that he was a vampire, then maybe drive a stake through his own heart, just to make Sheldon happy.
Sheldon turned back to Sherlock, but noticed that he had gone over and sat with Daisy, asking her questions about where she came from. Sheldon was a bit peeved that Sherlock found a Jeep-racing, short-short-wearing, Southern girl more fun to talk to than him. But then again, his entire dream seemed to be crumbling around him. He decided to see what the two were talking about.
"So, you say that you and your two cousins race around in 'cars' for fun?"
"That's right."
"How fast do you go?"
"Oh, over 100 miles per hour at times."
Sherlock stared at her. "A 100 miles per HOUR? Extraordinary."
Daisy shrugged. "I guess so. I have always wanted to ride in a car going 200 miles per hour. I can just imagine the thrill that would be."
"The TARDIS can go much faster than that, passing through time and space." Sheldon noted.
Daisy crossed her arms. "Oh really? Sorry, Sugar, but I am not convinced that I was not just kidnaped and brought to this place, along with the others, and we are now locked in the room of some warehouse."
"She is right, Dr. Cooper, you have not provided us with any valid evidence that we are not here because of kidnaping nor that we are even moving at all. I would now if we were in a boat or even an ocean liner, but as I do not feel the movement of the sea beneath us, nor do I suspect that a wagon of this size even exists, I can only conclude that we are locked in a room somewhere, as Miss Duke said, and not allowed to leave."
Sheldon was at a loss. Surely he could find evidence, but he knew the TARDIS door to be locked(that was another glitch that Bob coming on the computer had caused), so what wonders could he show these two that they would believe? Darn Sherlock! Why could he not just trust Sheldon at his word? This was HIS stupid dream after all!
Sheldon huffed and puffed for a moment, mumbling incoherent excuses and reasons for believing him, as his two witnesses just stared at him, not impressed. Amazing how much Sherlock Holmes and Daisy Duke could look alike when not impressed with someone. Odd.
Sheldon finally decided to do the only thing he could do and proceeded to stomp his foot once, spin around, and walk back to the other side of the control panel to sulk. The two witnesses just rolled their eyes and proceeded to continue their discussion of 'modern' transportation.
Unfortunately, Sheldon was not able to sulk for more than a minute before being interrupted by a tap on the shoulder. He looked up. "What?" he asked curtly.
The girl before him glared at him. "Sorry for interrupting you, but I was hoping that you would be able to take time out of your glaring at the floor to tell me where I am and how I got here."
Sheldon groaned before replying, "You're on the TARDIS, a ship somewhere in the universe. The Doctor, the owner of this TARDIS, is busy fixing the computer, but as soon as he is done, then you can tell him where you are from and he can take you back there."
"Ah," The girl said, contemplating this new information. She had long blond hair, piercing blue eyes(piercing as if she would willingly stab you with a sword if you stared at her too long) and wore an orange t-shirt that said Camp Half Blood on it. The camp's name seemed vaguely familiar to Sheldon, so he decided to ask, "Who are you?"
"What?" The girl asked, her mind coming back to Sheldon, "Oh, Annabeth Chase."
The name was connecting to another name, so Sheldon asked, "Daughter of a goddess, correct?"
The girl was shocked. "Yes, Athena. How do you know that? Are you monster or an oracle?" The girl searched her clothes, looking for a weapon of some kind, but coming up empty.
Sheldon groaned loudly and put his head in his hands. A Percy Jackson and the Olympians character, another one of Raj's favorite book series, just what he needed. At least, from what Raj told him, Annabeth was the smart one, so at least he didn't get stuck with a dumb character.
Some crunching made him look up, only to see a guy with the bottom half of his body looking like a goat, chewing on the metal bars that surrounded the control console area.
"Grover! Stop that!" Annabeth yelled at the goat man, who sheepishly stopped gnawing on the furniture.
"Sorry, but I am starving! Hey, you, skinny pale guy, you would not happen to have pop cans on you by any chance?"
Sheldon now hoped that Damon would leave the twins alone and see if goat blood appealed to him.
Annabeth gave Grover a pointed look and then turned back to Sheldon. "Alright, so we are on the TARDIS, somewhere in space, under the command of a Doctor. Seems a bit unlikely and a badly told lie, but I will come back to that later. Right now, who are you and how do you know who I am?"
Sheldon stood up, becoming rather tired, even though technically he was asleep. "I am Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PH.D, M.A., etc, etc. I work at a university, and the only way I could even know that you possibly existed was because one of my so-called 'friends' told me about you. I should have been able to block it out of my precious memory space, but for some reason it stuck. Now, there are several other people who are in the same predicament as you and your smelly half-farm animal friend over there. I am sure that you will find someone to talk to."
Annabeth looked like she was trying to decide if Sheldon was lying or not, while Grover suddenly realized what Sheldon had called him. "Hey, farm animal? I will have you know that goats, especially satyrs, have been revered for thousands of years for their intelligence, good hygiene..."
"Yeah, yeah, tell it to the tomato over there." Sheldon walked over to another seating spot, hoping that the two new arrivals would take a hint.
"I do have name, you know," Bob said, still just hanging out in the computer.
"Really? What is it?" Annabeth's science-oriented interest was piqued.
"I am Bob the Tomato, and I do not normally hang out in some strange computer. I was actually at home with my friend, Larry the Cucumber, deciding on plans for the Christmas party we hold every year, when suddenly..." And Bob proceeded to go into a long dialogue of describing how he got there, who else was there, and what had been going on with everyone. Since Bob was in the TARDIS's computer system, he was able to pretty much watch everyone from various spots and was able to know that Fred and George were now debating between themselves whether vampires or werewolves were cooler, while Damon was rummaging around the storage spaces looking for some hard liquor; Sherlock and Daisy were still talking about technology, especially transportation and communication, and the Doctor was trying to untangle one of his legs from some wires, while trying to punch computer buttons with one hand and using the Sonic Screwdriver to reconnect some cables with the other.
Annabeth was enthralled with the computer system that Bob was currently inhabiting, asking Bob questions about what type of systems he could run and what each button did. Grover was just wanting some cans. He finally had to settle with a metal pipe he found and sat on the floor nibbling on it.
Sheldon, for his part, was being pretty calm about the whole thing, deciding to just ride out the dream, knowing he would eventually wake up and be able to go about his usual life.
But, as would have to happen as he was now beginning to relax, a hand decided to tap him on the shoulder. He turned around and was flabbergasted to see a young woman, in very old style clothing, standing behind him, looking worried.
"Excuse me, dear sir," She said, giving him a small curtsy, "But I seem to have lost my way. You would not happen to know where I am and how I would be able to get back home?"
"Um, well, not really. Everyone you see is pretty much stuck in the same situation as you, so if you would just find someplace to sit, the Doctor will eventually be able to help you."
"Doctor? Sir, I assure you I am quite well. I was wishing that you would merely be able to point me in the direction of the exit of this, well, amazing building. Is this a church of some kind?"
"Hardly!" Sherlock said, walking up. "Unless you wish to refer to this place as a Temple of Science, but there is no religious affiliation in this place at all. Now, miss, who are you and where do you hail from?"
The young women was relieved to find a fellow Englishman. "My name is Emma Woodhouse and I am from Hartfield."
"And how did you seem to end up here, Miss Woodhouse?"
"Well, I was taking stroll towards my friend Mrs. Weston's home, when suddenly a large beam of light surrounded me and I found myself lying on the ground a little way away from here. I do hope that my father does not begin to worry about me. He frets about me so much, in fact he was warning me all this morning about watching for rain and perhaps I should take the carriage instead. Oh, how he would be astonished to see me here now."
Sherlock contemplated her story, turning to Sheldon. "What do you think, Sheldon? Do you find her story plausible or is she another victim of The Doctor's kidnaping?"
"Huh?" Sheldon had not been paying attention. He was trying to place Emma in friend's likes. He was certain that he had never read or watched her before, but then which of his friend's had? That was the question.
Sherlock shook his head and turned to Bob the Tomato. "Mr. Bob, do you have any helpful ideas of how we may make Miss Woodhouse more comfortable?"
"Well, I think her name sounds familiar, but I would suggest some tea, which can be found in the kitchen area off to your right, through that door. Just tell the computer there what you want and it will create it for you. Really quite an amazing machine, from what I can tell."
Emma approached the screen, amazed. "A talking picture? How is that even possible? And a picture of a, what did you say? Tomato? I have never known vegetables to look like that, or to have a voice at all."
Daisy walked up. "Yeah, sure is something. I was impressed to, but from the looks of your outfit, I would say that this would top your list of amazing sights."
Emma nodded as she turned to Daisy, but then stopped in shock. "What in Heaven's name are you wearing?"
Daisy looked down at her shorts and shirt, realizing that this might not be the best set of clothing that she could have put on that morning. First, Damon would not stop flirting with her or referring to her as 'a light snack', and now she had just shocked a girl who looked like she was either from the past or a religious cult.
"Well, see, where I come from this is what we wear when we work outside. I was supposed to help my Uncle Jesse fix some fences, while my cousins were working on the barn's roof, so I didn't have time to change before showing up here."
Emma stiffened. "So, you are a farmer's daughter?"
Daisy put her hand on her hip. "Yes, and what is wrong with that?"
"Nothing, I just don't know many people who fall in that category. One of my dearest friends was considering marrying a farmer, but I talked her out of it, convincing her that she should aim up in her marriage sights."
"What's wrong with marrying a farmer? Who do you think provides the food for your fancy table?"
Sheldon blocked his ears as he tried to get away from the two women who were beginning to argue over farming and suitors. He was NOT in the mood for relationship drama, he had enough of that with the whole Leonard-Penny break up, and, wait, Penny! That was where he had heard of Emma. She was a Jane Austin character, even had a whole book named after her. Sheldon groaned. Oh, just wonderful. Now he had a Regency-era, upper-middle class matchmaker to contend with. How he wished the Doctor would hurry up the fix the TARDIS, or that he himself would just wake up already!
"I am not saying that being married to farmer is particularly a bad thing, but a lady should always aim higher when deciding on a marriage partner. You would not always have to be the one to fix fences or wear such 'working' clothes. Perhaps you could find a nice gentleman to call your own, who would be able to provide a nice home and fortune for you and your future children."
"Really? And what kind of man should I marry, then?"
"Me." Damon said, sauntering up, with Fred and George right at his heels. He leaned against the TARDIS control panel as he smirked at Daisy. "I like to think of myself as quite the catch."
Daisy rolled her eyes. "Yeah right. I would sooner marry that vegetable on screen than you."
Bob's eyes widened. "What? Marry? Who? Wait a second, why I am mixed up in this?"
"Because you are random talking vegetable on a 'computer' screen, we can't help but throw you in the middle of things," Fred answered helpfully.
"Gee, thanks." Bob sighed and shook his head, mumbling something about twins and the multiple wife issues that Fred and George deserved.
Sherlock decided to take the brief moment of interrupt and say, "Perhaps some tea and food is in order," He offered his arm to Emma, "Now, where in England exactly do you come from?"
Emma was distracted with describing the places and people that she knew about as Sherlock led her towards the kitchen.
Grover popped his head up from the floor. "Kitchen? Hey, maybe I can get some soda cans or something." He jumped up and followed Sherlock and Emma.
Fred and George stared after him. "Wait, was that what I think that was?"
Fred nodded. "I think so, George."
"A real life..."
"Talking and moving..."
"One of the coolest creatures on Earth..."
"A Satyr!" The two shouted together and raced after Grover.
Sheldon thought about asking them why they were so excited by a man with hoofed feet, but decided against getting involved. He was more interested in seeing who would end up getting hurt first: Daisy through getting her blood sucked out by Damon, or Damon by getting slapped in the face.
Annabeth seemed torn from following Grover to make sure he was alright and wanting to see Damon, whom in the few minutes she had seen him was giving her the creeps, get his face punched in.
Things were tense for exactly 3.6 seconds before the Doctor called out, "Has anyone seen my rubber duck glove set?"
Everyone stared down at the hole that his voice came out of, not quite sure if they heard him correctly. Annabeth spoke first, "A rubber duck glove set?"
"Yes," the Doctor answered, "Green fabric with little yellow ducks all over it. Got it at a souvenir shop on Grabuldoor, in the year 3056. Apparently they were some rare creations copied after designs on Earth, especially the duck part, that the Grabuldoors consider some sort of mystical creature. No idea why I bought them, but I saw them and just had to have them. Anyway, they are made of some of the strongest material ever and are perfect when working with possibly shockable wires. Again, does anyone know where they are?"
Annabeth looked at everyone, all shaking their heads, then replied, "No, at least no one up here."
"Darn. Hmmm, wait, here they are! No need to worry, I have found them and we are back on track with fixing the computer system, now if I can just reach that far wire..." Spark sounds and a yelp were all that was heard before silence. Everyone was a little worried, but just decided not to interfere, for fear of hearing some more random stories about gloves and mystical ducks.
Finally, Damon crossed his arms and smirked at Daisy. "How about this, Miss Daisy, we just decide not to go to dinner. Not that I don't think you would be an, um, appetizing companion, but I think that you would not agree with me."
Daisy just glared at him. "Fine. Just keep your creep-filled hands off of me and we should be able to survive here for goodness-knows how long until we can go back to our homes." She spun around and went to the other side of the consul, settling down on the table and starting up a conversation with Bob about where he was from and who Larry was.
Damon just kept smirking, turning to Sheldon. "She is quite the firecracker, isn't she? Hmmm, too bad we would not be able to have some fun together. Oh well," Damon turned towards the kitchen, "I guess I'll go see what the smarty-pants old-fashioned looking guy is up to with the semi-pretty girl. Maybe she might like to go to, I don't know, tea or something." And with that, he strolled off towards the kitchen.
Annabeth looked at Sheldon and shrugged. "So far, this has turned out to be one of the more interesting, less dangerous adventures of my life," She looked around the area before spotting the Doctor's toolbox, which he had carelessly left behind when he went down, "What is that? Oh, is that some sort of laser?" She ran over and began to examine each instrument, leaving Sheldon alone, again.
Sheldon just stood there for a second, trying to figure out what he should do now. Everyone seemed to be occupied, or at least were not annoying him, but what should he do? He thought about trying to make himself wake up, but then again he was interested in seeing if Damon would eat someone(preferably the twins) or if someone would just stake him through the heart. For the moment, Sheldon decided to go into and kitchen and find some dream food to give him something to do. When he turned around, he almost ran into the person who was suddenly standing behind him.
Well, not actually a person, more like a giant wall of fur. The wall of fur turned around and yelled at Sheldon in weird animal noises. Sheldon did not even need to think for a second before he recognized that Chewbacca was that giant wall of fur, and that he finally had a character from a movie that HE had actually watched. Okay, he would have preferred Obi-Wan Kenobi or Yoda, but Chewbacca was at least a start.
Unfortunately, Sheldon could not understand a thing that Chewbacca was saying(and that was after perusing Star Wars forums for a Wookie dictionary), and Sheldon was getting slightly worried that Chewbacca would decide to rip his arms off.
Thankfully, he was saved by the beep of a small robot that rolled out from the corner, and a voice saying, "Artoo! Do come back here! You have no idea where we are or if we might be melted down at any time. Just let Chewbacca handle it."
So, instead of Obi-Wan or Yoda, he got the giant wall of fur that couldn't talk and two droids that could drive a person up a wall, if pushed. But, at least he didn't get a Sith Lord or Han Solo(Sheldon didn't need another villain-type of character or a flirt to deal with, Damon filled both those roles perfectly).
Sheldon just stared at the three new characters, as Artoo beeped impatiently at Chewbacca, Chewbacca groaned at Threepio, and as Threepio scolded Artoo. This was definitely going in his fan fiction story.
Suddenly, the Doctor stuck his head up through the floor and just about had a heart attack(a double one, at that).
"Sheldon! What in the universe is going on up here? Who are those people?"
"Um, they just showed up like everyone else."
The Doctor groaned. "Great, now I have non-Earthlings to deal with. I thought it would be simple to just bop around Earth from time frame to time frame, but I guess now I have to travel to other planets to drop off hitchikers." Sheldon was unsure as to why the Doctor was upset.
"Will that be a problem?"
The Doctor nodded. "If the thingy under that important thingy keeps messing up, we will be lucky to just travel through time without having our genes ripped out of us. As for actual space travel, especially long distances, we may have to just tell those three newbies to find a room and bunk with us for a while. Hey, you," He asked Annabeth, who looked up at him(laser still in hand), "Know anything about timey-whimey, spacey-wacey stuff?"
"Uh, not really."
"Hmmm," The Doctor thought for a moment, "Oh well, come down here and you can at least hold the Sonic Screwdriver. Just, whatever you do, don't point it at your big toe. It can do incredibly scary things to a big toe."
Annabeth looked a little unsure, but the opportunity to explore the innards of the TARDIS was too big of a temptation and so followed the Doctor down.
Sheldon stood there, seeming to be on the verge of tears. "But, but, I am the only one who is allowed to hold the Sonic Screwdriver." He sat down slowly, ignoring the mixture of robotic beeps, Wookie grunts, and chatter coming from the kitchen towards the console area as the three newbies headed off in that direction.
"Oh, cheer up, your dream will probably be over soon and then you can go back to your world."
Sheldon shrugged. "I don't know if it ever will end, and... wait a second, who are..." He stopped, stunned, for there, in all her odd glory, was the female body that the TARDIS had temporarily inhabited in one episode. "You're, You're.."
"The TARDIS? Yes, that would be the correct assumption," She smiled at him, "And you are Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PH. D., etc, etc, etc. So many letters after your name, did your parents run out of ideas?"
"But why are you here? Your body was, well, destroyed. It is impossible for you to be here."
"Impossible? Really? You are complaining about ME being impossible, while you have a Satyr, a sexy vampire, twin wizards, a demi-god girl, a short-short wearing country girl, a Regency-era lady, two droids, a Wookie, a vegetable for a computer system, and Sherlock Holmes himself, all in your dream? You have a weird sense of, um, weird."
Sheldon stared at her, before grinning slightly. "Finally! Someone I am actually excited to see! I have so many questions for you, where to begin? Well, I have always wanted to know..."
"Do you think Bob is cute?"
"Uh, sorry?"
"Bob the Tomato. Do you think he's cute?"
"That has nothing to do with my question."
"I know, but your questions are so boring, I thought I would focus on something more interesting, like, the cartoon character inhabiting my computer system. I kind of like the way he looks. His eyes are sweet. Do you think his eyes are sweet?" Sheldon kind of tried to answer, but she held her hand up, "Wait, no you don't. But I think his eyes are cute. And that green thing on his head is a bit alluring. Of course, that could be the human body side of being breaking into my thoughts. Do humans like green things on men's heads?"
"What? I have no idea, but..."
"You're right, humans aren't THAT strange. I mean, they are really strange, but not in that way. Hmmmm, I still never learned if fish have fingers. Maybe I should ask Sherlock Holmes, he would probably know," She stood up, grinning at Sheldon, "So, are you coming or not? You have been up here too long. All the fun stuff is going on in the kitchen, and I think we should crash their little instant pudding party."
"Instant pudding party?"
"You'll understand when we get down there."
Sheldon could only follow her out of the consul room, still in awe of how random the TARDIS could be.
As the two approached the kitchen, sounds of talking, pans clanging and a blender going were heard. TARDIS opened the door and the went in, and Sheldon stopped in his tracks, the scene before him causing him a slight brain aneurysm.
Chocolate instant pudding was everywhere, on everyone, and even some how on the floor in the hallway outside the kitchen. The occupants themselves looked like they had just come out of a pudding fight, or they had decided to imitate Chewbacca. Sheldon just stared at everyone, not sure what to say, but thankfully TARDIS took over the job.
"My goodness, this looks like a party, can we join? I can bring the ability to fling pudding far distances, Sheldon can be the object that we fling pudding at."
Everyone stopped talking and turned to the pair.
"Who the heck are you?" Damon asked, wiping pudding out of his formerly-sexyish hair.
"Oh! I'm the TARDIS."
"TARDIS?" Sherlock asked, "But the TARDIS is an object, a machine, which just happens to be inhabited by a talking tomato. How can YOU be the TARDIS?"
"Well, the long story is long, but the story version is that Sheldon needed some company and I thought that I would step in. Any other questions?"
Emma raised her hand slightly. "I have one. Will you be able to help us get out of here? Not that I have not been enjoying the company of these people, attempting to make this 'instant chocolate pudding', but my father can get so worrisome when I am even five minutes late returning home."
TARDIS winked at Sheldon. "Oh, don't worry, I am sure that your father will be just fine and that you will be able to return to your home in due time. But for now, I think we should ditch the pudding and break out some real food. Like dry milk powder."
Everyone just stared at her.
"Uh, dry milk powder?" Fred asked.
The TARDIS nodded. "Yes, dry milk powder."
"Why dry milk powder?" George asked.
"Because it is such a silly concept. Milk, which is naturally wet, becoming a dry substance, a powder. I have always wondered how they did that. I mean, I do know how they do that, but it is still fascinating. Besides, it makes a fine mess when thrown up in the air and smeared all over the place. Almost impossible to clean."
"Why do you..." Sheldon began
"Want to make a mess?" TARDIS interrupted. "Just because it is something that the Doctor gets to do all the time, and then I have to clean it up. It is about time that I got to enjoy the fun he has," The TARDIS paused, "About time? Huh, I do believe that would be called a pun. Totally unintentional, but that is funny."
Sheldon tried to get the conversation back. "Alright, you want to make a mess. But why now? Why not do it some other time, in some other place. You have complete control of, well, you, so you can create anything you want. And why in the world are we even discussing this? This makes absolutely no logical sense and, are you even listening to me?"
The TARDIS was licking chocolate pudding off her finger and she shook her head.
"Why?"
"Because I already know what you are going to say, and it is all rather boring and 'logical'. Come on Sheldon, not everyone gets to have this much fun while asleep. Loosen up, have some pudding, and go check on the Doctor and Annabeth. I think you might be able to show off your large brain capacity there."
Sheldon was silent, staring at her. He then asked, "You think so?"
The TARDIS shook her head. "I don't think things, Sheldon, I know. Now, off with you or be prepared for instant pudding flinging."
Sheldon was about to protest, but then saw the evil glint in the Twins' eyes, and decided that checking on the Doctor was a good idea.
When he arrived back at the control room, he heard the Doctor yelling something (probably profanities) in some alien tongue, while Annabeth stared down the hole at him, holding the end of an extension cord. She looked up when Sheldon came closer.
"Do you have any idea what he is saying?"
"Even though I am fluent in many languages, including Vulcan, I cannot translate what the Doctor is currently saying. Which is incredibly odd since the TARDIS translates all languages into the language that a person speaks, so we can all understand each other."
"I am currently blocking that feature on the Doctor," Bob said, still on the computer screen, "I don't think you want to know what he is saying."
Annabeth nodded. "Probably not. So, Sheldon, I think you may be able to help me."
Sheldon snorted. "Of course I may."
Annabeth ignored that. "The Doctor needs this extension cord hooked up to the, um, pink cord, I think. But he failed to mention what pink cord and where it is. Any ideas?"
"Oh I have plenty of ideas. The one you probably want to hear is the pink cord would be the transmobilization key cord. It should be right under this hatch." Sheldon lifted a hatch from the floor and revealed a bunch of cords, one of which was pink. Annabeth brightened up.
"Thank you." She hooked it up and suddenly the Doctor stopped yelling.
Bob must have removed the block on the Doctor's language, because they heard him call up to them, "Yes! It works. We are getting closer to fixing this mess, Annabeth, and soon you and Grover can go back home."
Sheldon answered back, "Good, because I think the TARDIS is getting too crowded for my taste."
The Doctor popped his head up. "Oh, don't be such a stick in the mud, Sheldon. A bit of variety is good for you. Besides, this has been one of the best groups of people I have had on the TARDIS is a very long time. Next time I'll make some popcorn then we can really have a fun time."
"As long as you don't make instant pudding," Sheldon mumbled.
"What was that?" The Doctor asked.
"Nothing." Sheldon changed the subject, "So, what do we need to do next?"
"Well, I think I should work on this on my own for now. You two go find some food or something, I know how humans like to eat regularly. If I need anything I'll have Bob send for you."
Bob shrugged on screen. "Well, I guess being the computer message boy is not the worst fate imaginable."
The Doctor disappeared again, leaving Sheldon and Annabeth alone. "So," Annabeth began, "What else do you know about me, Dr. Cooper."
Sheldon frowned a bit. "More than I care to know. Besides the fact that you are a demi-god, daughter of Athena..."
"Demigod?" Bob asked. "Oh wonderful. Vampires, wizards, demi-gods, sounds like a twisted version of the Wizard of Oz."
"More like the version created by preteen readers who enjoy fantasy and science fiction," Sheldon remarked.
Annabeth glared at Sheldon. "Fantasy? I am fantasy? I will have you know that even though it is hard for a normal human to comprehend, demi-gods do exist, and not just in the minds of 'preteen readers', whatever that is supposed to mean."
"What about a normal tomato? Where do we fit in?"
Before Annabeth could retort Bob's remark, someone said, "Excuse me."
The three looked over to find a proper-looking gentleman, possibly from the same time period as Emma, standing at the edge of the console room, looking around, a bit confused. "I seem to have stepped through the wrong door. However, the door will not reopen for me and I am a bit impatient to get to my library."
The three people staring at him sighed, "Who are you?" They asked together.
The man stared at them. "My name is Mr. Darcy."
Sheldon threw up his arms. "Great! What is this, some twisted version of a chick flick from Penny's mind?"
They all stared at Sheldon.
"Chick flick?" Mr. Darcy asked. "Sir, I assure you that I am not, nor will I ever be, part of a 'chick flick'. Now, would you please tell me how I may get back to my home?"
Annabeth stepped forward. "You're THE Mr. Darcy? As in Pride and Prejudice? As in you are married to Elizabeth Bennet?"
Mr. Darcy actually looked shocked. "How do you know of my marriage to Elizabeth? Who are you?"
Annabeth shrugged. "I only know about it from listening to the girls in the Aphrodite cabin gushing for the 'hot and super romantic' Mr. Darcy. Drives me crazy sometimes."
"Why in the world would they discuss me? And what does 'hot' mean?"
"They mean you get sunburned easily," Bob piped in. "Anyway, if you will just make yourself at home and wait until The Doctor is able to take you home. That is the easiest explanation."
Now Mr. Darcy looked absolutely confused, although he mostly hid it well. "Sir, I do NOT get sunburned easily, so those ladies from Aphrodite's cabin are incorrect in classifying me as 'hot'. As for this Doctor character, I pray that I may speak with him in order to fully understand this situation."
"Ah, sugar, don't worry. We're all in the same boat, and it is better if you just go with the flow and relax. Supposedly we have not been kidnaped, but we can't do anything about it even if we were," Daisy explained, walking up.
Mr. Darcy opened his mouth to reply, but shut it abruptly when he saw what Daisy was wearing. He was finally able to avert his eyes, but he kept his mouth in a line and seemed to be extremely uncomfortable.
Sheldon was trying to hold onto his sanity. Mr. Darcy. In his dream. Why? He had never even read any stories by Jane Austin, and if this occurred from Penny's continuous talking about Jane Austin, why did he get Mr. Darcy? He got Emma, why not another leading lady, like Elizabeth Bennet? And why was he even bothering to ask himself these questions? He had a talking tomato in his head, for pity's sake, trying to figure out why these people were in his dream was a futile effort.
Annabeth and Daisy began a conversation about where they were from, Daisy wanting to understand the whole demi-god thing, completely ignoring both Sheldon and Mr. Darcy.
Bob was trying to keep tabs on the other 'travelers' who were in the kitchen, not quite sure why there was a frosting and tofu cake burning in the oven.
During all this, Mr. Darcy was getting extremely uncomfortable and slightly peeved at being ignored and surrounded by people dressed in the strangest and most improper clothes. He had settled to standing alone, giving everyone a face of deep disapproval. But his situation was quickly invaded by the charming, egotistical blood-sucker Damon himself.
"Hey, another male here to join our group of lost souls/kidnap victims/people just out to have a good time. Welcome, and you are...?"
"Mr. Darcy." He answered, not impressed with this new person.
"No way, Mr. Darcy? Wow, this place is becoming my former girlfriend and snack's bookshelf," Damon looked Mr. Darcy over, "However I fail to see what she finds so dang sexy about you. I mean, between you and Edward Cullen, you would think that I looked like mince meat, but I am just not seeing what she finds so appealing about you."
Mr. Darcy stared at Damon. "Sir, I can assure you that I am not from your, er, 'girlfriend's' bookshelf, and I do not know who this Edward Cullen is, nor do I care to be compared to other people I have never met, especially by a man I have only just seen."
Damon laughed. "Wow, your manners certainly remind me of home. You would have thought that I just stepped out in the late 1800s for all the formalities I hear from you, Sherlock over there and Emma."
"What about me?" Emma asked, walking up. When she spotted Mr. Darcy, she was excited to see another person wearing the style of clothing she was familiar with. "Oh, good day." She curtsied.
Mr. Darcy bowed, also relieved to see a person from his own time. "Good day to you, as well. I am Mr. Darcy."
"Emma Woodhouse." Emma replied.
Damon stared at the two, annoyed at Emma's attention being diverted to a man in tight pants. Damon could totally beat him in a tight pants smackdown.
Damon pulled Emma away, giving her his most charming smile. "Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you and I go find somewhere private and, um, talk. I find your home fascinating and would love to hear more about your family."
Emma seemed torn. "Well, I was actually hoping to welcome our new guest, Mr. Darcy. It is hard trying to understand what is going on(I still have no real idea what is happening), and I think it would be nice to talk to someone from my own area of life. Not that I am not flattered, Mr. Salvatore, but we come from such different backgrounds and lifestyles, what could we possibly talk about?"
Mr. Darcy spoke up, "I greatly appreciate your help, Miss Woodhouse, but if you wish to go with Mr. Salvatore, do not stay on my account."
Miss Woodhouse smiled at Mr. Darcy. "I assure you, sir, that I would feel irresponsible if I left you here to fend for yourself. The people here, although gracious, come from rather, odd worlds, and you may be a bit shocked at times hearing what they talk about."
Mr. Darcy glanced at Daisy. "I quite agree, a bit odd indeed. Well, if you insist, Miss Woodhouse, perhaps you would care to show me where I may get a proper cup of tea."
"Oh, of course, please follow me," Emma said, quite pleased, and led Mr. Darcy towards the kitchen area.
Damon just glared at Mr. Darcy, bound and determined to separate the two Jane Austin characters as soon as he could.
Sheldon, on the other hand, was pleased with the tension building between Damon and Mr. Darcy. He hoped that Damon would keep those two people busy so he could relax for a bit.
But even as the two men and lady left, Sheldon's dream of relaxation was not to be. For just as he sat down, Chewie, Artoo and Threepio all walked up, arguing amongst themselves.
Threepio approached Sheldon first. "Excuse me, but when can we return home? My circuits are on overdrive trying to comprehend this, this impossible machine."
"Impossible machine?" Sheldon asked.
Artoo beeped a couple times, but Threepio shushed him. "Yes, impossible machine. The talking red graphic computer system told me that this space ship is capable of not only traveling through space, but of being able to travel through time as well. Obviously that is ridiculous, but Artoo is convinced that the graphic speaks the truth, while Chewie wants to know the mechanics of it in order to form an opinion. I think that we should just go home and forget all about this place."
Before Sheldon could answer, he was rudely interrupted by the TARDIS. "Be careful of what you wish for, we may be able to completely wipe out all memories you have and replace them with images of dancing monkeys."
Sheldon stared at her. "Dancing, monkeys?"
"Yes, dancing monkeys."
"What could that possibly have to do with these three?"
"Nothing. But you have to admit, it would be hilarious!"
Sheldon was scared as to where this conversation could possibly go, but he was saved that issue by Fred and George suddenly starting up their old argument with Bob again, starting an insane chain reaction.
"Magic does exist you..." Fred said.
"Green headed..." George said.
"Chubby..."
"Grumpy..."
"Stew ingredient!" The two yelled together.
Bob ignored their insults, holding true to his belief that they could not use magic. Eventually the three dropped down to the level of a four-year-old's argument: 'Can too!', 'Cannot!', "Can too!', etc.
Then Sherlock got into a argument with Annabeth because she noted that she could use magic as well, which Sherlock disregarded.
Daisy started to defend Annabeth(girls have to stick together), but she was stopped by Emma coming in(with Mr. Darcy and Damon in tow), remarking on the state of all the ruckus and why everyone was shouting. When Daisy explained the situation, Emma laughed, saying that the possibility of magic existing was absurd, and that Annabeth must be dreaming.
Well, Daisy was still peeved about the 'farmer's daughter' remarks earlier, and so she and Emma began to delve into a fight over if magic was possible, but that quickly turned into a 'class clash' over marriage circumstances and wealth(oh boy).
Damon loved watching two pretty girls fight it out, and mentioned to Mr. Darcy about how 'cool' it would be if their fight escalated to a higher, more 'chick fight' level.
Needless to say, Mr. Darcy was greatly offended by this remark, especially considering Emma was a lady and Daisy was, well, he was still trying to sort that out. The two men started arguing about it, but were cut short when Artoo ran into Damon while being nibbled on by Grover(apparently Artoo looked like the Satyr-equivalent of a steak). Chewie was trying to pull Grover off, but he wasn't budging, and Threepio was starting one of his wailing episodes.
The TARDIS was trying to get the Doctor's attention, only able to get random shouts and squeals from him.
Sheldon was left to lean against the railing surrounding the console and hope for the light of dawn to soon wake him from this crazy dream.
As the noise escalated, and fists started clenching, everyone heard someone shout, "Hey!"
Silence descended and they all turned to see the owner of the voice. The young woman smirked at everyone. "Okay, I can recognize some of you, not all but some, and I am wondering what the heck is going on. Any offers to answer?"
Sheldon could only stutter, drawing the woman's attention. "Sheldon! Is this your dream I'm in? Because if it is, where can I get off?"
"Pen, Pen, Penny? Sheldon was able to ask.
The woman nodded. "Uh, duh, who else would it be, Spock? Wait, please don't turn me into Spock. The pointy ears would look horrible on me." She walked towards him. "So, this is what the great Sheldon Cooper dreams about."
Sheldon gathered his wits together. "Well, not normally."
"Oh, so this is a special occasion? Wait, is that Daisy Duke? Seriously? Oh, I get it," She winked at him, "This is THAT sort of dream. Well, I always thought that you had a typical guy side of you somewhere in that big brain of yours. Although," She pointed, "Is that Damon Salvatore? The hot guy from the show that I watch?"
"Well, um, yes."
"Okay, that makes no sense. Unless, well, I just won't delve into that rabbit hole for now. So, who are the rest of you?"
Slowly, everyone introduced themselves to Penny, who just could not stop raising her eyebrows at Sheldon. Once introductions were done, Sheldon asked, "Now, why are you here? Are you here to just make trouble? Steal my favorite characters away and replace them with your chick-flick, soap opera horror stars?"
"Soap opera horror stars?" Penny asked, "No. See, I'm here to mark the end of your dream. It's time to wake up, Sheldon, and go back to the 'real' world of physics, Legos and super hero costumes. Are you ready?"
Sheldon was so relieved he could only nod.
"Good, then you have to kiss me."
"What? And expose myself to the millions of germs that surrounded your lips, including those of other men whom you willing sold your mouth to?"
Penny rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, I was just kidding, but thanks for the compliment. No, you just have to follow me outside and then you will wake up. Think you can handle that?"
"Yes, I do believe so," He straightened his shirt, "Lead the way."
"Don't you want to say good bye to your dream characters?"
Sheldon glanced at the crowd of random people staring at him. "Absolutely not."
Penny shrugged. "Okay, then right this way."
Sheldon followed Penny to the door of the TARDIS, opened it to reveal a blinding light, and then Sheldon walked into it.
Blink. Light.
Blink. Still some sort of light.
Blink. Still there, but he could recognize it as sunlight.
Sheldon opened his eyes fully. Yes, he was finally back in his own bed, with his own windows letting in light, and with his own closet door(that was an important thing to him).
He was back! And he couldn't be happier. Even though his dream had its good points(The Doctor, Sherlock Holmes, The TARDIS), he still wished to forget everything else that had happened.
Knock, knock. "Who is it?" Sheldon called out.
"It's Leonard."
"You may enter."
Leonard opened the door. "Hey, did you sleep well last night?"
"Yes, why do you ask?" Sheldon questioned.
"Well, it's just that I kept hearing you yell out random names like Daisy or Bob or Grover."
"Oh, that. It was nothing. Just a bit of a odd dream."
"Um, okay. Just checking," Leonard closed the door, still looking confused.
Sheldon was glad to have the issue done with, and began to put his robe on when his phone rang. "Ahoy?" He answered.
"Hey, Sheldon." Penny said.
"Ah, Penny, what do I have the pleasure of your early(as in before noon) rising to bug me on my cell phone?"
"Nothing important, only: REALLY? Daisy Duke AND Mr. Darcy? Is there something you want to tell me?"
Sooooo, how did you like it? Or did you hate it? Or did you even understand it? Or am I just being annoying? Either way you thought, please let me know in a REVIEW, as that is the butter to my bread that sustains my fan fiction writing. I also wanted to apologize in case any of you think I did not portray certain characters well. I am more familiar with certain characters that others in this story, and I tried to write them the way I believe they would behave. So, Flamers, you may flame me, but I tried my best. Anyway, thank you for reading(and hopefully reviewing), and until I write again, Li Li.