Author's Note: Welcome to The Lover's Cube 2.0. This is the reformatted and spell checked version of the story. As always, I don't own Sorcerer Hunters, just a fanfic writer ^^.

The Lover's Cube

"Package for a Carrot Glace," the delivery man announced to the priest at Saint Mama's temple.

"I'll....see that he gets it," the priest rattled the package, it didn't make a sound. "Wonder what this could be....maybe something that would help them with Sacher Torte?" the man shrugged and went back inside the temple.

*-*-*-*-*

"And now for your next assignment..." Big Mama explained.

Geez, Carrot thought, one task after the other. We never have time for more important matters.

Daughter materialized suddenly next to Big Mama, spooking the goddess and making her start a bit. "Daughter, what are you doing here?"

"There was a package for Carrot at one of the temples, I've got it here," Daughter made the square box pop from nowhere to her hands.

"A package for Carrot!" the Sorcerer Hunters, sans Carrot, remarked.

"Oooo gimme it," Carrot held his arms out. Daughter deposited the box in his hands. Carrot pulled the letter off the top and unfolded it.

Dear Carrot,
This is the Lover's Cube I was telling you about. I'm sure you remember how to use it. Make sure you send it back to me once you're finished with it.
Sincerely,
Lord Dain
P.S. the fake letter is underneath this one, just in case...

Carrot's eyes widened as he read, or well attempted to read the letter.

"What's wrong Brother?" Marron asked.

Carrot's eyes widened a bit more "It's a cry for help from Utsura!" he handed the note (the fake one) to the nearest person, who just happened to be Gateau.
Help the Killer Shark, it's back, please help us.

"How simple," Gateau remarked.

"It must have been on top of my box!" Carrot squealed.

"What is it?" Tira asked.

"Seems like something called the Killer Shark is back."

"But didn't you destroy the Killer Shark Marron?" Tira ran a hand through her wavy red hair.

"I did, why would it be back." Marron crossed his arms.

"Do you think we should check this out?" Carrot asked Big Mama.

The goddess put a hand on her chin and started thinking. She took a while to think, then finally said, "Yes, I suppose you need to finish the assignment."

"What did you get Darling," Chocolat pounced on Carrot. "Something for me?"

"That's not important now," Carrot shrugged Chocolat off and moved five feet from her. " We should be getting to Utsura!"

Is it just me or is he a bit excited about this assignment, Big Mama, Tira and Marron thought in unison. The Sorcerer Hunters left Big Mama's realm.

"Mille Feuille!" Big Mama called out.

A white gaseous haze shaped like a flame grew up in front of Big Mama. An image appeared inside of it, hazy at first then clearing up to reveal a slender man that looked like a woman with wavy purple hair in a high ponytail, dressed in all black and wrapped in a purple scarf that looked about twice his height.

"Mille keep a close eye on Carrot and co. I'm suspicious of this 'new assignment'."

"All right Mama," Mille winked and disappeared.
*-*-*-*

Utsura

"Why don't we visit Salad while we're here Chocolat, it's been awhile since we saw her," Tira suggested.

"Good idea, it's late she might let us spend the night."

And so the Sorcerer Hunters walked through Utsura to the Chips household. Carrot still had the box, which he neither opened nor explained what was in it. When they got to the Chips mansion Tira knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" a servant asked, from behind the door.

"We're Salad's friends" Chocolat announced.

The servant opened the door, she looked them all up and down, taking a few extra minutes on Gateau. "Well, you don't look any of Salad's friends that I've seen." She looked them over again, lingering over Gateau quite a bit longer. "But I guess I'd better let Salad see you. Follow me." The servant started walking into the house. The Sorcerer Hunters wasted no time following her. She stopped in front of what looked like the door to a bedroom and rapped on it.

"Who is it?" Salad asked from within.

"It's Asiago, I've got some people with me who say they're you're friends."
The door opened, and there was Salad looking younger than ever. "Chocolat, Tira!" She exclaimed.

"What about them," Asiago pointed at Carrot, Marron and Gateau.

"I remember you and you," she pointed at Carrot and Marron," but I've never seen him."

"Shall I have him removed," Asiago had a devilish very Chocolat-about-to-jump-on-Carrot look.

"He's with us," Tira said quickly.

"Oh O-K, Tell me when dinner is ready Asiago."

Asiago turned around, looking very disappointed and trudged off.

"Why don't we go into the living room to talk," Salad suggested.

"All right," Tira smiled.

Salad, Tira, Chocolat, Marron and Gateau started walking to the living room. Carrot lingered behind for a few seconds, then went back into Salad's room. He pulled the box from behind his back, set it down and scribbled a very hasty To Salad on the top. Then left and closed the door carefully behind him.

It was an ingenious plan. The Lover's Cube was a box made by Lord Dain that could trap two people of the opposite gender inside it's internal parallel dimension for a day. There was no way someone on the outside could get the trapped two out or communicate with them. It activated when any person of one gender touched it, they got sucked in and remained there until a person of the opposite gender also touched the box. Lord Dain was going to use it on Jinni but he figured that it needed to be tested and lent it to none other than Jinni's doppelganger Carrot. Oh it was an ingenious plan.

After Dinner....

"That was good," Salad remarked to nobody. She had just shown the Sorcerer Hunters to their rooms, and given Potato a good night kiss. She walked back to her room, her husband was still away, she'd have to sleep alone again. Drat she thought, if only he would get finished with his business. She opened the door to her room. There was a box on the bed, she walked to it, a large card board box with a scrawled For Salad written on top.

"This must be from Darling!" She squealed as she opened it. There was a another box under the cardboard one, a red box with a lot of little gold hearts all over it. "Now what kind of game can he be playing," Salad reached out to open the box.

But as soon as she touched it, it glowed brightly filling the dark room. A sensation not unlike putting your hand in front of a vacuum cleaner tingled on her hand, she started to be pulled forward and screamed before the box sucked her all the way in.

"Lady Salad!" A maid ran into the room a second later. The box was still glowing more faintly now than it did before. The maid screamed and grabbed the box. She shook it a bit and finding that to be no good ran out of the room with it. Maybe Lady Salad's guests will know something about this, she thought.

"What's going on?" Marron ran around the corner, his room was the closest to Salad's and he heard both screams.

"It's Lady Salad," the maid was on the verge of tears " I heard her scream and when I went in to see if she was ok only this box was there." She held the box out to Marron.

Marron stopped and thought for a moment, maybe this is what's causing the disturbance. He grabbed the sides of the box. The vacuum feeling gripped his hands and the box sucked him in too. This was too much for the maid, she hollered at the top of her lungs and fainted.

In the Lover's Cube...

Marron opened his eyes. One minute he went to grab that box from the maid and now he was in what looked like a...honeymoon suite? Salad was lying on the floor next to the bed, looking quite rattled.

"Salad, are you all right?" Marron stood and went to help her up.

"Yeah, I think so," Salad put a hand on her shoulder.

"What happened?"

"I touched this box and came here."

"Same here, but your maid was holding it and nothing happened to her."

Back outside...

Carrot was strutting over to Salad's room. She must have touched the box by now, he thought. Now all that needed to be done was for him to touch the box. He'd finally be alone with Salad, without the Misu sisters to stop him. He turned the corner and saw Tira holding the Lover's Cube, Chocolat next to her, Gateau behind them and a maid conked out on the floor. Nooooooooo he had to touch the box before Gateau did. He ran and leaped for the box, grabbed it and waited to be sucked in to Salad. No such luck, he ended up tackling Tira.

"Darling!" Chocolat shrieked.

Carrot stood up, what was wrong with the box. He grabbed it and started shaking it violently.

Back in the Cube...

The room began to shake, as though it was the epicentre of a violent earthquake. Marron and Salad were flung around the room like toys while the room rocked. When the earthquake stopped Salad grabbed her shoulder and yipped. Marron stood and went to her immediately.

"What was that?"

"Don't know, but one happened just a second before you came in."

Marron thought a while, then produced six spell cards and threw one on each wall, the floor and the ceiling. "That should help," then noticing Salad's confused look he added,

"Shield spell."

"I wonder how long we'll be in here," Salad mused. She started looking around the room. After peering into one cabinet she pulled out a bottle and gave a squeal of triumph. "Lookie! At least we won't dehydrate."

The raven haired man groaned silently, wine and himself didn't mix, the last time he had a drink was at a cherry blossom party. Just one sip and he was on the blanket, one little sip. Salad popped the cork out of the bottle and started downing it in remarkable large gulps. After draining nearly the entire bottle she looked at Marron sympathetically. "Did you want some," she held the bottle out.

Marron shook his head "Alcohol doesn't like me too much." Salad frowned, yipped and grabbed her shoulder. Marron popped up and sat next to her. "What happened to your shoulder?"

"I must have hurt it when the room started quaking just before you got in."

"Let me see it." Salad held her arm out. A soft light spilled from Marron's hands. He held them inches away from her injured shoulder. The light encircled the raw skin soothing it and repairing the rough muscle underneath. Salad clearly wasn't prepared for something like this and moaned softly as her shoulder knitted. In fact she continued to moan even after Marron pulled his hands away. She smiled like a mischievous little school girl and pinned Marron's shoulders to the bed.

Back in the Not-Cube World...

Carrot was in tears. The cube wasn't letting him in. No what if that idiot Count Peanut touched it first NOOOOOOOOOOO!!.

"Wath going here?" A whiny lispy voice asked.

For once in his life Carrot was glad to see little Count Pizza. He dropped the box and leaped at the little kid, encircling him in a ring of arms.

"What are you doing!" Count Potato (for all you people that don't know him that at last is his real name, Count Potato Chips ^^) squealed.

"I'm so glad you weren't sucked into that box dear dear Count Peaches," Carrot cried all over Potato's PJ's even blowing his nose on them.

"That'th dithguthting!" Potato whined, trying to free himself from Carrot's sleeper hold/hug. "And it'th Count Potato Chipth, Radish!"

Carrot dropped Potato, "Hey it's Carrot you little ingrate."

"Really you two," Tira fussed like a mommy.

"Don't you think we should be investigating this box," Gateau sighed. He looked around all of a sudden like he suddenly lost something. "By the way, where's Marron?"

"Wasn't his room closest to Salad's?" Tira asked.

"OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Carrot shrieked. When he realized all the Hunters and Potato where staring at him with sweat drops above there heads he smiled and laughed. "What I'm just concerned for my little brother."

"Darling, what are you up to," Chocolat eyed Carrot murderously.

"N-nothing nothing at all thank you very much."

"Sorry Carrot, not good enough." Tira and Chocolat whipped off their outer clothes, and stood before Carrot in full dominatrix mode. Chocolat proceeded to cut Carrot up with her wire, while Tira tied him up.

Outside the Chips' Residence...

"Now where could they have gotten too..." Mille mused aloud. "Miss!" A teenage girl stopped and looked back at him. Mille ran over to her and pulled out a folded picture. "Have you seen anyone in this picture, besides me of course." The girl took a good long stare at the picture.

"Yeah, they went into the Chips' house before dinner."

"Thanks sweetie."

"No problem Ma'am"

Mille had a little laugh moment before running to the Chips' house.

Back in the House....

"Talk Darling, what were you up to?" Dominatrix-Chocolat demanded.

"I already told you, NOTHING!" Carrot fumed, trying desperately to wriggle free from the rope.

"Don't lie to me Darling."

"I'm not lyin'!" Carrot lied.

"Then what the hell is this thing?" Gateau almost yelled. Ever since he figured Marron was in the box he'd hoarded it and didn't let anyone else touch it.

"THE HELL IF I KNOW!" Carrot shrieked.

"Carrot!" Mille pounced on Carrot from the shadows, scaring the hell out of Chocolat, Tira, Gateau, Potato and Jeeves(who by the way is Potato's ummmm 'keeper', he made an off camera appearance.)

"Where did you drop from!" Carrot tried to squirm away from the cross dressing Haz knight.

"Did you get in trouble again," Mille traced little circles on Carrot's bound chest.

Back in Cube Land...

Salad had managed to get Marron's sash off and the buttons on his surcoat unbuttoned. There was one problem though. While she used her teeth to undo Marron's sash she had to use her fingers to unbutton the buttons. That gave Marron enough time to escape. Now he was against the headboard of the bed.

"Come on, I wont hurt you," Salad giggled. Marron didn't budge, in fact it looked like he clung closer to the headboard. "Is this you're first time?" She inched forward very slowly on all fours. Marron nodded nervously, sweat beads began to saturate his forehead. "I said I wasn't going to hurt you. Are you going to be a good boy or am I going to have to tie you up?"

This confused Marron, had she been taking lessons from Chocolat and Tira? He didn't move forwards or back wards.

"Oh well," Salad giggled again. "This is going to be fun." Marron's sash found it's way into her hand. And after that found it's way around it's previous owner's wrists and around the bed posts. "That's better," Salad purred. She pulled Marron's surcoat apart as far as it would go seeing that his hands were tied up. When that obstacle was out of her way she moved further down.

"Mama." Marron oathed once Salad reached well....'Little Marron'.

Back In the Outside World...

"Mama!" Potato whined. He lunged at Gateau, desperately trying to get the box that imprisoned his mother.

"I shall help you Master Potato," Jeeves jumped on Gateau and threw punch after punch on Gateau's forehead. Of course these were nothing more then gentle breezes to the mountain of muscle that was Gateau.

"Maybe Big Mama should have a look at this," Mille suggested, getting off Carrot, but picking him up and holding him like a teddy bear. Chocolat didn't like the way Mille was holding Carrot and grabbed his legs started a tug of war between herself and Mille.

"That sounds like a good idea," Tira tried to sound perky but failed.

"All righty," Mille surrendered Carrot to Chocolat. "Give me the box, Gateau."

Gateau shook his head side to side, holding the box like a pillow against his temple.

"Come on Gateau," Mille used the same tone a teacher would for speaking to a slow learner. "The sooner you give me the box the sooner we can get Marron out."

Hearing the words 'Marron out' Gateau quickly thrust the box at Mille.

"That's so nasty," Carrot said dryly.

"What is Darling?"

"......"

Mille took the box and opened a window to Big Mama's realm. The goddess woke up from her nap with bags under her eyes and streaks in her make-up. "Huh wah is it?" She asked quite drunkly.

Everyone but Mille screamed. Big Mama woke up mentally, turned and reapplied her make up. "Now what was it that you needed," she gave one her huge sparkly smiles.
"Marron and a local sorceress were sucked into this box and there doesn't seem to be a way to get them out." Mille explained.

Big Mama looked at the box, a bunch of deep lines appeared on her face. Finally she looked up and proudly exclaimed. "There's nothing to worry about. It's just a lover's cube, very popular back in the days."

The Sorcerer Hunters, Mille, Potato and Jeeves all sweat dropped.

"And you said it was Marron and a local sorceress so calm down, what could happen. By the time they got sucked in tomorrow they'll be out."

Back In the Once Popular Cube...

"My God," Marron gasped. Salad was just finished with....'Little Marron'. A few minutes ago he would've called it rape but now it seemed that he'd lost all his sense.

"How was it?" Salad purred, she was right next to him on the bed. All her hair hung loose, it actually made her look just a teeny bit older (but not much). "Now you're equal with Carrot," she giggled.

"What do you mean by that?"

"The way Carrot goes at girls he's definitely been around the block before."

"No my brother's just desperate. Very desperate."

"Really, I never took him for a virgin. You, yes but him, no. You think he'll be mad if he finds out?"

"Probably."

There were a few seconds of silence before Marron spoke again. "Why you want to see what he'd do?"

"Kinda."

"Then untie my hands and lets give him something to get mad about."

"Oooo Marron you're so bad."

Back in Normal Land....

Gateau resumed his hoarding of the box once Big Mama's window closed. Potato and Jeeves also continued their assault on Gateau for the box. And of course none of them made Gateau twitch.

"What are we gonna do for the next twenty two hours?" Tira asked.

"Let's make our baby Darling," Chocolat pounced on Carrot and stripped her shirt.

"Git offa me," Carrot moved out of her way and tried to keep her from smashing her boobs in his face.

"Why don't we play Twister!" Mille pulled a twister board out from nowhere.

"Yeah!" They all agreed.

Many Many Many Many Many Many Hours Later...

"Let's see here," Mille licked the tip of his feather. "Now the scores are Gateau-50, Chocolat-45, Myself-42, Tira-38, Jeeves-35, Carrot-12 and Potato-0. Awww C'mon guys we have to let Potato win at least once."

"Yeah guyth," Potato whined.

"Ha ha ha ha shorty looks like you've met your match." Carrot gloated.

"But you're right after him in rank Darling."

Carrot sulked "Only because you keep trying to attack me and make me lose my balance."

"Don't worry Carrot, you can win right after Potato," Mille draped his arms around Carrot.

"Help," Carrot leapt from Mille's arms and into Chocolat's.

Back In the Little Red Cube...

Marron and Salad crashed on the bed exhausted. "I gave up counting after the sixth,"

Salad gasped. "I never started."

Salad's eyes turned bright green, she fainted.

"Salad!" Marron's hands started glowing again. He placed them on her forehead and she came to. But when she saw Marron, she screamed!

Back In Twister Land...

"Yeeeeeeeeeeek!" the sound of Salad's scream emanated faintly from the box.

"Mama!" Potato screamed and ran over to the box, tripping everyone and winning his first game of Twister. He grabbed the box and shook it chanting, "Mama, Mama can you hear me."

"Looks like whatever enchantment is holding them is breaking" Mille poked out from underneath Tira. A feather leapt from his hand and hit the box.

Back In Box-Ville...

Salad finally calmed down enough so Marron could explain. It looked like the 'wine' was drugged with aphrodisiacs. In the end Salad didn't mind too much. Her husband's business trip was far from being over, and the struggle to wait for him and the power of the aphrodisiac wine made her veeerrry horny.

"So now what are we gonna do?" She asked.

"I don't know..."
"My husband wont be back for about another year if you want to.."

Marron turned bright red. The spell card on the ceiling burst and behind it opened a portal. A big meaty hand stretched in. Marron and Salad wasted no time running to the hand. It tightened and lifted them both out of the cube.

"Mama!" Potato was drowning in his own tears.

"Potato!" Salad knelt down and opened her arms. Potato ran and leaped into Salad's arms like Lassie.

"Oh my God Marron!" Carrot ran over to Marron and proceeded to make an ass out of himself, hugging and crying all over him.

"Well now glad that's ov-AHHHH!" Mille was sucked into the Lover's Cube.

"This is the best day of my life! He's finally gone! Hey Chocolat, wanna see someth-AHHHHHHHH!" Carrot was promptly sucked into the cube with Mille.
All the Sorcerer Hunters, Potato, Salad, and Jeeves sweat dropped.
Looks like the cube thought Mille was a girl too. ^^