So, this is my first fic in some time. Loosely based off of the song "Stars" by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. Probably a bit OOC, but keep in mind that losing the doctor would have changed Rose. Also, as mentioned in the summary, this is an AU little fic where there is no doctor duplicate to keep Rose company. So please, read and review. Constructive criticism is most certainly welcomed, but keep it positive. No flames. Thanks. (:
Also, quite obviously I don't own the characters, or the song, or any of it. Unfortunately.
They say that time heals all wounds. Rose Tyler knew better than that, though. She knew better than almost anyone that it did no such thing. When something was painful enough, just memories were enough to make it sting like a raw, fresh wound. So she buried the memories, at least to the best of her ability. And Rose kept going, despite the pain, because she knew that was what he would want her to do
Lost in her thoughts, the clanking of the cash box slamming shut jolted Rose to attention. The bloke behind the counter flashed her a thousand watt smile, but she barely noticed. His blatant attempts at being flirtatious were wearing her patience thin. Rose offered him a polite smile in return, hoped it didn't come off too much like a grimace, and turned to leave.
The blast of cool air that hit her on the way out the door was refreshing, but she froze on the spot, completely overwhelmed. Her mistake had been glancing up. It was a clear night, and anyone who looked could see the stars for miles in any direction. And then she couldn't keep the memories buried any longer. The stars made her think of him; they always had. She swallowed hard. Her mouth had suddenly gone dry. She couldn't stop herself from wondering where he was and what he was doing. She wondered if he had a new companion, or if he was all alone again. Rose knew her Doctor, though. She knew his tendencies. He wouldn't fare well all by himself. She desperately hoped he had found someone.
Someone bumped into Rose as they attempted to enter the store behind her, and this brought her back to reality. Shuddering, she started off towards her car as she attempted to shake her train of thought.
As she crawled into bed that night and lied in the dark, Rose finally allowed the memories to consume her. Some memories were painfully clear to her mind still. Like the time they had stayed up into the wee hours of the morning, sitting in the grass and gazing up at the stars. The planet they were on had three moons, and they were stunning. Nobody was trying to kill them or trying to arrest them. The planet didn't need saving. They just spent a peaceful night together, talking about everything and nothing. And good lord, could that man ever talk. She smiled at the thought. Other things that she should remember had begun to fade, and it terrified her. She had to concentrate to remember the way he smelled, or exactly how his fingers had felt when intertwined with hers.
So that was Rose's night. She was curled under her soft pink duvet, shaking with soundless sobs. The memories were so very painful, but so was the idea of losing them. Tomorrow she would be okay once again. She would get up, and accept the cuppa her mum offered her. She would go to work. She would keep on living without him, because that's what her Doctor would want. He wouldn't want her to give up, to give in to the pain. He never did, so how the bloody hell could she? But tomorrow night, she would not look up at the stars. She would not allow herself to wonder how he was, where he was, or who he was with, because that only invited the pain to return. She simply couldn't have that. But she could, at least for this night, allow herself to hope he had found someone new, and to hope that had found it in him to forgive himself.