Here's a little anistory I put together. It's my first attempt at humor.
THE NEGOTIATION
My name is John. I just discovered how hard it is being a fanfiction writer. Especially when you ask the characters their opnion.
"Here's what I have in the contract so far," I said. I showed them the paper.
The author will not write a story in which follow invents occur.
1. The Yeerks are victorious.
2. One of more of the Animorphs dies or becomes a Controller.
3. One or more members of the Animorphs' families are injured.
"Doesn't that happen in a story you already wrote?" asked Rachal.
"I wrote that story before we made this contract so it doesn't apply," I explained.
"O.K., but please don't it do it again," said Cassie.
4. David or the Crayak appear.
"Let's add the Ellimist to that one," said Marco.
"I agree with Marco," said Rachal.
"You do?" gasped Marco.
"Yes and its causing a great deal of pain," replied Rachal.
"All right," I said, trying to prevent a squabble, "I'll put that in."
4. David, the Crayak, or the Ellimist appear.
5. Jake and Tom fight.
"Anything else?" I asked, hoping the answer was "no."
"No time travel," said Jake. "Things always go worse when we time travel."
And no taking us to other planets, added Tobias.
Except my home world, put in Ax.
6. The Animorphs time travel.
7. The Animorphs go to another planet with the exception of the Andalite home world.
"No stories where I'm called a hypocrite," said Cassie.
"Or me a psycho," said Rachael.
"And don't make to much of a clown," added Marco.
8. Cassie is called hypocrite, Rachael a psycho, or Marco is made into an excessive clown.
"Let's not have any more of Marco and I dating," said Rachal.
And don't make an issue out of me being a nothilt," said Tobias. Everyone knows I'm a nothilt, why point it out every two minutes?
9. Marco and Rachael date.
10. An issue is made out of Tobias being a nothilt.
I do not wish to look arrogant, said Ax. We Andalites are proud, but we're not arrogant. Why's everyone looking at me strangely?
11. Ax is made to look arrogant.
"Is that all?" I asked.
No one goes insane" said Tobias.
12. Anyone goes insane.
"If we bring in a new Animorph make it someone we know," said Marco.
"I agree," said Cassie. "I'm not ready for another 'leap of faith.'"
"And no more having the Sharing trying to recruit us," said Jake.
13. A stranger becomes an Animorph.
14. The Sharing attempts to recruit a member of the Animorphs.
"That should cover it," said Rachael.
"I think so too," said Jake.
"Not quite," I said.
The Animorphs will agree to all other reasonable and will not resist the fanfiction author. There will be no protest in the middle of a story.
Every agreed and signed the contract. I was glad it was finally over. Consulting them on what I could write had seemed like a courtesy, but I'd come to think it was a mistake. Well, at least we'd agreed now and there would be no resistance from them. Later on, I realized something.
"Hey, is this binding since they didn't use their last names?"