A/N-Song owned by Duncan Sheik. It's so purty!
First chap dedicated to twstofate and Lukey Bannon(lol),and if they don't read I'm gonna be REALLY pissed!! And also to Becky, who told me I should use Incubus's "Have you ever?" lol.
Enjoy! The first part is gonna be written in the first person, but I dunno if that's gonna be the case through the whole thing. But, I mean, if you see me writing "Chris said" instead of "I said", ya know what's goin's on.
Italics, yay!
-*-
*I know what you're doing, I see it all too clear. I only taste the saline, when I kiss away your tears…*
I love Stephanie McMahon, God knows I do. Hell, everyone knows I do, but most importantly,Steph knows and the best part about that is...she loves me too.
Well, sometimes anyway. Sometimes I REALLY wonder about that girl.
* You really had me going, wishing on a star. But the black holes that surround you are heavier by far…
The real Stephanie McMahon is kind of like the Billion Dollar Princess. I mean, come on, no one could be THAT bitchy without something to draw it from. But, I swear, she can be the sweetest person you've ever met. But she's different with me, she knows that she can be herself around me.
We have a very...different relationship.
We've broken up 28 times in the last 2 years.
Yes, I'm aware how sad that is. And out of those 28 times, I've broken up with Steph...twice. But it never lasts for long, because we love each other too much.
*I believed in your confusion, you were so completely torn. Well, it must've been like yesterday was the day that I was born…*
Well, at least I THOUGHT we did. Until she decided that she needed to "explore" what she was feeling for Him.
I was drifting off to sleep in my hotel room after a show one night-alone. I should've known something was up when Steph said that she'd gotten a separate room, but I just figured that she had her reasons.
She had her "reason's" all right.
* There's not much to examine, there's nothing left to hide. You really can't be serious you have to ask me why...I say goodbye…*
She comes knocking on my door and when I open it, I'm happy, because I just figured that she decided that she couldn't sleep without me until I saw the look in her eyes. Her deep blue eyes were focused, yet had a pain going through them that I couldn't understand. Then she said the 5 words I never wanted to hear:
"Chris, we need to talk."
*Cuz I am barely breathing and I can't find the air. Don't know who I'm kidding, imagining you care..*
I let her in, and she doesn't waste any time telling me why she's there. Another thing I love about Stephanie-no bullshit. What you see is what you get and she doesn't bother sugar-coating anything unless she believes that it's necessary.
"I don't think we should see each other anymore."
*And I could stand here waiting, a fool for another day. But I don't suppose it's worth the price, it's worth the price, the price that I would pay…*
Uh,ok,thanks for telling me this joyous bit of news at 3 in the morning. Nothin'll wake a guy up faster.
"Why? What happened? I don't understand." I say.
"Maybe I shouldn't have said it like that. What I really mean is...I think we should see other people."
*Everyone keeps asking what's it all about. I used to be so certain but now I can't figure out. What is this attraction? I only feel the pain. There's nothing left to reason, and only you to blame. Will it ever change?*
So that can only mean one thing. If two people are in a relationship and one says they need to see other people, odds are that's because they've already started.
"Who is he?" I say, not bothering to cover up my anger. She goes silent and looks away. My heart drops a little bit more. "WHO is he,Steph?! If you're gonna come in here at 3 o'clock in the fucking morning to break up with me, you damn well better start talking!"
*Cuz I am barely breathing, and I can't find the air. Don't know who I'm kidding, imagining you care. And I could stand here waiting, a fool for another day. But I don't suppose it's worth the price, it's worth the price, the price that I would pay... *
"Chris I don't wanna argue with you!" she yells. Coulda fooled me. She pushes a bit of her long,chesnut colored hair, still slightly wavy from earlier in the night, behind her ear and chews her bottom lip. Damn,this must be bad.
"Stephanie-"
"Alright! It's...it's Paul." She looks up at me as I stare at her and then the last thing I expected happened.
I burst out laughing.
*...but I'm thinking it over anyway…*
"You-you're kidding me, right? You're dumping ME for PAUL?!" I say, bending over I'm laughing so hard. I can tell from the look on her face that this wasn't the reaction she was expecting.
"It's NOT funny!" She says, starting to get angry. Oh,good lord, how unfunny it is.
* I've come to find I may never know, your changing mind, it friend or foe?
*But I'm still laughing, some weird defense mechanism that I'm thankful for, because if I wasn't laughing, I'd probably be screaming.
"Stephanie, what do you want me to do? Say "congratulations and I hope you're happy"? You just dumped me, for the guy I just-so-happen to be feuding with, who YOU just-so-happen to be 'divorcing' on TV! So, what was it Steph,was I not ape looking enough? Was it that my nose just wasn't big enough? Or did my body look too natural and you needed someone with breasts as big as yours?!"
And THAT comment, ladies and gentleman, got me a bitchslap. Ow. Well, that's what I get for talking about her boobs. She's still kind of sensitive about them, while she flaunts them all over television. Go figure.
*I rise above, or sink below, with every time you come and go…*
"Don't you EVER-"
"I'm sorry,Steph. I shouldn't have said that."
"You're damn right you shouldn't have!" She glares at me for a while, then her expression softens. "Chris, I don't want us to end this way." I resist the urge to say something sarcastic about our previous break-ups,and how we ended things. Slammed doors and shouting matches, which usually commenced in us having some hot and heavy make-up sex. I knew that that wasn't gonna happen this time.
"I was hoping that...you know...we could still be friends?" she suggests. I give her a raised eyebrow that Dwayne would be proud of and walk towards the door.
*...please don't come and go…*
"Get the hell out...please." I say as calmly as possible. She looks at the ground, then nods and begins to walk out of the door I've opened for her.
"Chris, I-"
"Don't, Steph,just...don't." I tell her, avoiding the pools of blue that are her eyes.
*Cuz I am barely breathing, and I can't find the air. Don't know who I'm kidding, imagining you care…*
"No, Chris, you have to know how torn up inside I was over this. I love you, you know that, but Paul...I just have to know, Chris. I need to know. Tell me that we can still be friends." she says, her eyes digging into me, pleading for an answer. I look at her-no, I look through her.
*And I could stand here waiting, a fool for another day, but I don't suppose it's worth the price, it's worth the price, the price that I would pay. But I'm thinking it over anyway…*
"Goodnight, Stephanie." I say to the flower print wall covered hotel wall. "Have a nice life, and try not to get your eye poked out while you're kissing him." Stephanie purses her lips, as if to say that there's nothing else to say, turns and makes her way over to the elevator. I watch her until the doors close, blocking her from view, then I slam my own door in response.
*...I'm thinking it over anyway...I know what you're doing…*
As I sit on my bed, it feels like an outer body experience, like I wasn't really there, like I was watching someone else's break-up. Then it starts to sink in, just a little.
Oh my God, it really IS over.
*I see it all too clear.*
-*-
"Wake up, you sack of shit." a voice says, nudging me in my side. I open my eyes for a split second, just so I know which direction to throw the punch, when I notice who it is, I close my eyes again.
"It should be illegal to have teeth THAT big and white." I say in a groggy voice. But our friend Adam is persistent, and decided to nudge and prod at me some more.
"Quit it, you fuck!" I yell at him. The bastard doesn't know when to take a hint.
"Then get your ass up, we've got a flight in three hours."
"So let me sleep for two." I say, lying back down.
"Stop being so damn lazy and get up. And after you get up, you can stop moping around because Stephanie broke up with you last week."
"I told you not to say her name."
"Who's? Stephanie's?" he says grinning. I'm blinded by the whiteness again so I get up, if for nothing but to save my eyesight.
"Get out of my house."
"It's MY house, too." Oh, yeah. We've been sharing this house for about a year now and I still need reminding that he lives here sometimes.
"God, man, have you even showered since she dumped you?" I glare at him and swing my legs around to get up off the bed. "I'll take that as a "no". Why are you letting this get to you so much? It's just a chick, man, there are millions of 'em I'm sure you can get, what, at least 2 of 'em. And you're Y2J, ayatollah and all that bullshit."
"Remind me to put that on a hallmark card-'Chris Jericho, Ayatollah and shit like that.' It'll sell big."
"Whatever, just get in the shower, you smell like old cabbage."
-*-
We stroll into the arena, making it about 20 minutes before noon so, no getting yelled at by Vince. Yay.
As we maneuver our way through the halls, I'm looking all over the place for one glance of Stephanie...you know, so I can avoid her. If she's around, chances are The Magnificent Nose is with her, and I'm just not ready to see that yet.
"Will you stop that!" Adam says in frustration.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Will you stop looking around for Stephanie?!" he yells. I grab him by his collar and shove him into the closest room I see. With my hand still around his neck, and with the fact that momentum is on my side, I back the loudmouth blonde Canadian....never mind. As I'm glaring daggers into him, he just starts laughing, the little asshole.
"You are so fucking pathetic," he says.
"Oh, you think this is-" I'm cut off by a loud gasp, then we both turn to see Amy standing in the middle of the floor in nothing but a towel.
"Aimes, hel-lo," Adam says, smiling.
"Uh,hi. If I'd known there was gonna be a fight I'd have dressed accordingly."
"Sorry, Red," I say. I heard from someone that she hates when anyone calls her that, but she's never gone off on me for saying it."
"You ARE aware that this is the women's locker room, right?"
"Oh. Well, we were just leaving. Right Adam?"
"I was thinking of staying," Adam says, looking over at Amy like a pimp who's just found a new prospect. I grab his arm and pull him out of the room and drag him down to the men's locker room, which is empty, fortunately. "What the hell are you doing? I was getting somewhere with her."
"She's taken,dumbass! The name 'Matt Hardy' ring a bell?"
"And does the word 'storyline' mean anything to you? They're not REALLY together, they're just friends."
"Yeah, I've heard that excuse before." I reply, reminding myself of Steph and The Elephant Man.
"Look, you have to start getting over her, and moving on with your life."
"How the hell am I supposed to get over her, Adam?! I see her everyday, she's head writer, she's the bosses fucking daughter for God's sake!"
"Hey,maybe if you do start moving on,Steph'll see what she's missing and throw herself at your feet, begging for you to take her back." I raise an eyebrow.
"Stephanie? Begging? Those two words don't even go together."
"Hey,when a chick is desperate, she'll do what she has to. Don't give her too much credit, Chris, all chicks are like that. It's a mind game,man,they just want you to THINK they're in control when YOU'RE actually the one with all the power." He finishes, crossing his arms in satisfaction.
"And you wonder why you're single..."
"Hey, I'm single by CHOICE. I could have any girl I laid my eyes on. You forget I'm a heartthrob, 'Tiger beat' and all that, yanno."
"Yeah...ok." Too many chairs to the head. It's sad really. He narrows his eyes at me then purses his lips. I call it his 'male model' look.
"Whatever. Look, Chris, as long as you go around feeling sorry for yourself, you're gonna scare off all potential pieces of ass. I'm going to catering, you comin'?"
"I'll be there in a minute. Save me a seat."
"No."
"I love you,too,sweetheart." After he leaves, I have some time to think. 'Move on with your life', how come all the single people say that? It's easier said than done. You don't just break up with the woman you love after two years of being together and then just decide to move on after a week, it doesn't work like that. I HAVE to get her back, but how? How can I get Steph out of that gorilla's grasp?
Well, there's no use trying to come up with anything on an empty stomach, so I leave and head towards the dining area. To get to catering, I have to pass the women's locker room, and I bump into Amy-fully clothed this time.
"You again?" she jokes.
"Headed down to catering?"
"Yeah. Wanna walk with me?"
"Sure." I answer, and as we walk down the hall, while Amy's talking, I watch her, really look at her, and Adam's words come back to me, 'If you do start moving on, Steph'll see what she's missing.'
Just then a plan pops into my head. Maybe I don't have to move on at all.
But I sure as hell can make it look that way.