Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or its characters.
A/N: This is another one shot i have done. i normally hate repititious things that like repeat so many times they're annoying and feel that parts of this are borderline annoying repititious. But... eh.
Bitterweet Reality
A Remorseful, Guilty and Hopeful One Shot
"Rukia, wake up you fool. We're supposed to be studying for the quiz tomorrow, remember?"
Ichigo threw a pen at the small girl's head.
Rukia drowsily moved her head up to look at him. She was lying on her stomach with a book splayed out in front of her, though it was serving more as a pillow than anything else.
"Study it yourself, idiot. Can't you see I'm busy?"
Her head heavily plopped back down when she finished talking. Her head still down, she moved her hand to the spot where she'd felt the pen go and groped for it. Once in her hand, she weakly threw it in the general direction in which she believed Ichigo to be in. The sound of it hitting the wall followed soon after as well as Ichigo's haughty chuckles.
"Missed." He said as she head him turn a page.
Those were the last sounds she heard as her mind slipped into unconsciousness until a loud beeping noise interrupted her slumber.
Her lids were heavy and felt as if she were still asleep as she sluggishly tried to move around. She was just adjusting to the darkness when a light glaringly turned on and the noise came to a stop.
She sat on her knees in the middle of the floor and looked up at Ichigo.
"What was that?" She yawned.
He turned towards his drawer.
"It was your cell phone, a hollow's nearby." He said, then as if detecting her movement, he turned around just in time to put his arms on her shoulders and slightly push her back down. "I'm going to get it." He specifically pronounced 'I'm' so as she'd get the message that she wasn't going.
She shook her head somberly. "No, I am going. You can't go by yourself." Her voice was half muffled with sleep.
"Rukia, listen to me," he said it slowly, "I know this is my first time, but trust me, I know what I'm doing. I'm definitely more fit to do this right now than you are."
"No, no, no! You're not hearing me correctly, I mean… no, I'm going too." She tried to get up despite his strength keeping her down.
Ichigo almost smiled at her attempts but then remembered the hollow.
"Rukia, now I am going to go and if you try to follow or waste any more time and let that hollow get away, I swear you will regret it."
Vulnerable and tired, Rukia nodded her head and let Ichigo pick her up and put her on the bed.
Ichigo placed a blanket over her and patted her down. She made no objections as he left this time, except for the light words she muttered as he left from his window and as she slowly fell back asleep.
"Ichi… Don't leave me…"
The next morning Rukia awoke tangled in Ichigo's sheets and feeling refreshed. She yawned and stretched her arms above her head enjoying the pull on her tight muscles.
"Good Morning, Ichigo." She called out into the room not really knowing where he was.
There was no reply.
"Ichigo?"
Still no answer.
She then remembered that it was a school day, which meant that he was probably in the shower or getting breakfast.
Rukia got busy while she waited for him, cleaning up the room. While doing so, she remembered the events of the night before. She wondered how the hollow hunt had gone. It would have been his first all on his own. It made her proud to think that she had taught him all he knew.
Rukia finished cleaning and sat down, looking at the clock next to his bed. Twenty minutes had passed since she'd gotten up and Ichigo still wasn't back. She found that odd as he normally only took ten to fifteen minutes to shower and eat.
His family's voices could be heard throughout the house and it only lacked his.
Rukia decided to just get dressed, figuring that he was probably just taking a bit more time today. Yuzu had probably made something extra delicious for breakfast. She got dressed and when he still didn't show up, she just sat on his bed, her bag at her feet and patiently waited for him.
"Is Ichi-nee still asleep?" Rukia heard Yuzu's small voice outside the room.
"I don't know. Why don't you check?" Karin's voice replied with its usual amount of sarcasm.
Rukia's eyes widened, not because Ichigo's little sisters were about to open the door, but because then that meant Ichigo wasn't out there. Though Rukia still realized she was about to seen and quickly but quietly got up and hid in her closet.
"Ichi-nee?" The blond sister asked cautiously.
Rukia slid the closet door open a bit and peeked out.
Yuzu was slowly poking her head around, a confused look on her face.
"Whoa," she said, turning back to Karin, "His room is clean."
Rukia could practically hear Karin rolling her eyes. "Is he in there or not?"
Yuzu shut the door as she left the room. "No, he's not in there, either. Where do you think he could be? You think he already went to school?" Her last question had a sound of awe in it.
Rukia stepped out of the closet and stood there for a second, deciding what to do. Ichigo could have just gone to school early, though she didn't know why.
Oh! Never mind, Rukia thought, I bet he went early because of the test we had today!
She smiled and put her bag over her shoulder, glad that she had figured out the great mystery.
At school, Rukia went straight to the classroom and was surprised to see half the class was already in there. It seemed everyone else had the same idea to study. She quickly scanned the room for bright orange hair but saw nothing orange except for Orihime's lighter shade. She went over to Orihime.
"Huh?" Orihime turned towards Rukia after hearing Rukia's inquiry for the guy she liked. Surely Orihime would know if her one and only was at school. "Kurosaki-kun?" She asked with that pout voice of hers, an index finger taping the area where dimples normally were.
"I don't remember seeing Kurosaki-kun today…why, was there something you needed him for?"
Rukia turned her head to the side, momentarily ignoring Orihime's own questions. If even Orihime hadn't seen him, where was he?
"Kuchiki-san?" Orihime asked, bringing Rukia back from her thoughts.
"Oh, yes, I needed to talk to him about something…" She still sounded and looked spaced as she moved to her seat and sat down.
"Kuchiki-san, Are you okay?"
Rukia looked up abruptly, caught off guard by Orihime.
"Yeah… what time is it?" Rukia sat up in her seat and for the umpteenth time that day checked the classroom for Ichigo only to be disappointed again.
Orihime have her an odd look. "It's lunch time."
"Oh…" Rukia nodded her head as if she was fully engaged even though her mind couldn't have been farther from the moment.
Orihime sat in someone's seat right next to Rukia.
"Kurosaki-kun's not here today…" She said thoughtfully. Rukia became more interested as she heard Ichigo's name.
"Do you know where he's at?" Orihime turned to Rukia.
"No, I don't." Rukia said honestly, ignoring the paranoid feeling she got thinking about early that morning and his absence now. She couldn't help but feel it might be connected.
"Oh… You've been getting awfully close to Kurosaki-kun, haven't you?"
At that point, Rukia became more interested in the conversation.
"Huh?" She said, surprised. "Not really, I mean, I don't really know what you mean."
"Well, you fight hollows together all the time and then your always with each other… " Orihime clarified.
Rukia shook her head in response to Orihime's assumptions. "I assure you, Inoue-san, nothing is going on between me and Ichigo."
While Rukia was assuring Orihime, she was assuring herself of quite a different matter. Her mind was back to Ichigo. If he wasn't here, then where was he? Rukia refused to believe tht something had happened to Ichigo during his early hollow hunt and instead decided that he was simply taking a day off. That's right, he just needed a small vacation and didn't tell her because he didn't want her to persuade him from doing it. Yeah, that made sense.
With that in mind , she decided she could now stop worrying and getting upset because he wasn't there. She'd see him after school, of course. He might even be waiting for her and he would probably just brag about his awesome and legendary defeat of the powerful hollow early that morning… She smiled to herself, imagining a scene where she would hit him over the head and tell him to shut up.
Now she couldn't wait for school to be over.
Giddy now, she turned back to Orihime who was looking slightly down.
"It's okay, Inoue-san! That baka's probably just out there making a fool of himself!" Rukia assured Orihime who in turn smiled a bit.
Rukia happily stacked her books and put her supplies away in her bag. She then put the bag's strap over her shoulder and excited the classroom, a big grin on her face.
Not that she'd ever admit it, but she'd actually spent the last part of the day imagining a million different scenarios involving Ichigo surprising her in some way. And even now as she neared the exit, she wondered which one of her fantasies he'd fulfill.
She slowly opened the big door and stepped out. Bright orange hair did not immediately fall into her line of sight. She took a few steps out further and looked around the surrounding area. Her hope that's he'd be there for her quickly died as she saw no sign of him. She quickly thought positively to break any negative thoughts that may have started to form. Rukia instead concluded that he didn't want to risk any teachers seeing him and getting him in trouble of ditching school. He was just waiting for her at his house.
Her mind at ease and already conjuring up more ideas, she began to walk back to his house. She had finally decided on a chappy-themed surprise awaiting her as she entered his house through his window.
"Ichigo!" She happily sang as she flew into his room.
She landed on her feet with a smile on her face. The smile began to fade, as Ichigo was once again not there.
Her face fell as she looked around the room and was once again disappointed by his absence.
She had been positive that he'd be here waiting for her. However, she could clearly see that not only was he no there then, but it didn't appear he'd been there at all. Everything was in it's exact spot it had been there since she'd that morning.
But that didn't mean anything was wrong with him, it only meant he still wasn't back. Rukia figured he was still gone, or had gotten stuck somewhere crowded, or had went all the way somewhere to find a Chappie store. Her exitement began to return slowly.
The small girl lay on Ichigo's bed to rest until he returned. She closed her eyes and imagined what would happen when Ichigo finally returned. In that way, she accidentally fell asleep.
When she next woke up, it was from someone lightly shaking her. After a moment, she shot up with excitement thinking it was Ichigo. Her dreams had been full of him but she would happily take the real hi.
She was let down once more when she saw it was not Ichigo who had woken her but Renji.
"Renji?" She didn't bother to hid her disappointment. Though she did wonder what had brought him here. She noticed it was dark outside, with a small sliver of light from the streets lighting the room. It could be assumed everyone was asleep in the house.
"What are you doing here?" She also noticed Ichigo wasn't back, or at least wasn't in the room.
Renji crouched in front of Rukia and made eye-contact.
"Rukia, why haven't you come back to the Soul Society yet?" His tone was completely serious.
"Why should of I?"
He looked at her strangely. "Rukia," He said meaningfully, though Rukia had no idea what he was meaning.
"What?"
"You should have come back after what had happened."
"… happened? What happened?" He was only continuing to confuse her.
Renji gave Rukia a non-believing look.
"Ichigo," He said in a way that she felt should have made sense.
"… what about him?" She began to get suspicious though she wouldn't allow herself to jump to any conclusions.
"That he's gone."
"He went somewhere? Why didn't he tell me?"
Renji looked slightly surprised. He then spoke very slowly.
"Rukia, he's… he's dead…"
Rukia took a sharp breath and immediately shook her head, not believing it at all.
"No he's not." She denied the claim. "He's here, he's alive!" Rukia shook her head violently.
"Rukia, calm down. When was the last time you saw him." He reached for Rukia's hands.
She pulled them away and raked at her face. "I saw him… I was with him… Last night… and then this morning… I was tired… he told me to stay and his bed was warm." Her words began to blend with small quakes from her body and almost silent sobs from her mouth.
Renji quickly looked around. Rukia was becoming hysterical someone could hear her.
"Renji, tell me this is a joke. Please! He's alive, I know it, right?" Here wide eyes searched Renji's.
"He killed that hollow this morning, right? He was bragging about it! He brought me back a chappie-doll! Orihime even said we were close!!!! He wouldn't leave me!!! Renji!"
Renji sat besides her on the bed and put an arm around her, trying to soothe her strengthening cries. She pushed him away and darted up, going for her closet and pushing the door aside, he wasn't there.
"He's just hiding! I know it!"
She dropped to her knees and looked under the bed. She stood up again. "Help me find him! I know he's not dead!" She pleaded to Renji who could only stand by and watch the sad happening.
She ran to the window and opened it. "I bet he got hurt and just never came back. The hollow injured him and now he's just waiting for someone to come find him…" She crawled to the ledge. "God, I'm so dumb. He's been waiting for me to come help him the whole day and I was just selfish, thinking about him coming for me…" Renji heard her muttering.
"Rukia, be careful." Renji followed her. She looked back and Renji saw her tear-streaked face and wide, red eyes. "I have to find him."
Renji nodded, figuring that Rukia would soon calm down and realize what had happened had happened.
She ran through the streets, breathing hard and containing her tears.
"Renji, where was the hollow at?"
The red- haired man caught up to her and lead her to where the battle-scene had been. Rukia slowed to a walk and surveyed the area. She looked behind the bushes and anywhere someone could hide. "He's not here." She mumbled.
She began to run the perimeter, thinking he might've crawled a ways trying to make his own way back. She found nothing there, either.
Rukia finally just collapsed, exhausted. She burst into a new round of tears.
Why? Why had he gone without her that morning? Why hadn't she tried harder to go with him? Why had she let herself sleep more? She could've stopped it. If she had only been there, none of this would have happened.
Why hadn't she even said good bye to him or before that, been nicer to him? Why had she always been immature and pick on him? Why couldn't she have gotten closer to him or said something meaningful to him that morning? Why did her last memory of him have to be a blurry, sleep retarded one? Why?
Why couldn't she have been the one? Why wasn't her phone with her and not where Ichigo had to find it????
Why?
"He's really gone isn't he?" Rukia asked once her sobs had quieted. She had sensed Renji behind her.
"yeah."
A/N: Review?