Thanks to this site being a finicky, prissy thing sometimes, I lost the completed, original version of this. And then I threw a fit and didn't remake it. Until now. I still don't think it's as good as the first version, but oh well. It takes place post second time skip.

This is dedicated to papalogia (aka Eien, sxtrisoul), to celebrate a year's worth of screaming profanities at each other. Happy belated anniversary! Have some cute nonsense.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.

Lucy stared blankly at the job board before her; no matter how long she perused the board, nothing was jumping out at her. Thanks to Natsu and Gray's latest escapade (involving a gargantuan bird, equally large droppings, and an unsuspecting town populace), she was short on rent money once again. Which necessitated her current perusal of the job board. She needed to find a job that both paid well, and that she could do on her own. Erza was out of town on an S-class job of her own (she'd snuck out in the dead of night to take it so a certain pink-haired dragon slayer wouldn't invite himself along). Natsu and Gray, for their part, were avoiding Lucy for a while, taking on solo jobs until her ire cooled and they were no longer in danger of having their ribs broken by a well-placed Lucy Kick. Or worse, being forced to endure lectures and the Disappointment Face.

"Hey, Lucy! I'm glad I caught you!"

Startled at being addressed suddenly, the blonde turned around to see a green-haired woman walking up to her. "Oh, hello Bisca!" Lucy greeted the woman, smiling. Spotting the small, dark-haired little girl hiding behind her mother's legs, Lucy's expression softened even further as she greeted her as well. "Hello to you too, Asuka."

"Hi Lucy," Asuka replied quietly, very much unlike her usual cheerful self.

Perplexed by the six year old's behavior, Lucy glanced back up at Bisca. "So what's up? Did you need me for something?"

"Actually, yes," Bisca admitted sheepishly. "Alzack is on a job, and I have to run an errand really quick... do you think you could watch Asuka for me? I'll only be gone about... thirty minutes, I swear! Normally, I would take her with me but... " She paused, and then hurriedly added, "I'm sorry if I'm keeping you from going on a job! It's just that... well Mirajane usually watches her for me, but she's kind of busy today. Same with Kinana..."

A glance around the guild hall revealed it to be rather crowded indeed. Crime Sorciere was visiting, and the members of Fairy Tail had taken up the cause of getting the visiting mages as drunk as possible (Jellal had been visibly disappointed to see Erza not present, so it was also half to cheer him up/drown his sorrows). With the notable exceptions of Cobra and Midnight; the former of whom was skulking at the end of the bar, as far as possible from the racket, with the latter passed out cold in the seat beside the Dragon Slayer.

It was still something of a mystery to Lucy as to how, precisely, the group was able to cavort about in public like they did. Crime Sorciere almost flaunted their presence wherever they went - as if they were begging for the Rune Knights to arrest them (or at least attempt to). Why did the Master even let them in the guild for that matter? Wouldn't that cause trouble for the guild in the long run? Heck, the short run, too. Then again... Fairy Tail didn't abandon people they cared for.

Bringing herself back to the conversation at hand, Lucy nodded in acquiescence to Bisca's desperate request. "Sure," she agreed. "I would be happy to watch her for a while!" The jobs really weren't going anywhere, after all. Little chance of them being taken while there was a party going on and guests present, after all. Hospitality was not something the guild shirked.

Relief shone in the worried mother's eyes. "Thank you so much, Lucy!" Bisca knelt down so she was eye level with her daughter. "Lucy is going to watch you for a little bit. Can you be on your best behavior for Lucy, Asuka?" Asuka shifted, stubborness set in her cheeks and a gleam of rebellion forming in her irises. "For your mother?" Bisca tacked on, keen to her daughter's warning signs.

Though this didn't seem like quite enough to fully quell the six year old's impending revolt. "But... Mama!" Askua protested. "Why can't I go with you?"

"Because it will be very boring," Bisca told her. "Even for Mama," she added under her breath.

Asuka's face scrunched up. "I wanna go with!"

Lucy shifted in place, feeling a little awkward caught between the pair's argument.

Taking note of Lucy's uncomfortable stance, Bisca proposed, "How about you and Lucy have a milkshake or an ice cream at the bar? By the time you're done, I'll already be back, I promise."

The pair of adults waited a few moments while Asuka considered the offer, visibly torn by the temptation of sweet, delicious bribery ice cream, and her desire to remain with her mother. Once she had mulled it over to her satisfaction, she nodded. "Okay. I'll wait."

Ice cream had won the day, it seemed.

Bisca smiled and kissed her daughter's forehead, eliciting a giggle. "Alright then; you be a good girl for Lucy."

"I will!"

Straightening up, Bisca nodded at Lucy. "She's all yours for a bit. I'll be back as soon as I can - let Mirajane know the ice cream is on my tab. And thank you again for watching her!"

The blonde couldn't help but grin at the mother and daughter. "It's no trouble at all! We'll have fun, right Asuka?"

"Yeah!"

After two more rounds of goodbye kisses between Bisca and Asuka, the green-haired woman departed. As she waved a farewell to her guild mate, Lucy belatedly realized that she had forgotten to ask just what kind of errand Bisca was running in the first place. She shook it off quickly, though.

"So, Asuka, why don't we go find Mirajane and..." Lucy trailed off when she realized that her charge was no longer present. Great; just wonderful. Less than thirty seconds in, and she'd already lost the kid. Casting about the guild, Lucy tried to spot the little girl's telltale hat bobbing amongst the throng of partying mages. After a moment, she caught sight of the hat, its owner having already scampered off towards the bar. Specifically, towards the two criminals at the end.

Cobra glanced at the child while she pulled out the stool next to him, though he didn't comment. On his other side, Midnight roused himself briefly to shoot Asuka a curious look, before burying his head back into his arms.

"Hi!" Asuka greeted Cobra cheerfully.

His purple eye narrowed suspiciously at little girl as she clambered up onto the tall stool. Once she was situated to her liking, she looked up at him expectantly, kicking her feet.

"Hello," Cobra returned slowly.

Midnight mumbled something incoherent into the countertop, presumably a greeting as well.

Taking no offense, Asuka grinned at the mages. With a snort, Lucy pushed Asuka's stool closer to the counter. Then she took up the free one next to Asuka for herself. "Good afternoon, Cobra. Midnight."

Giving up on his nap as a lost cause, Midnight sat up in his stool. "Good afternoon," he replied. He covered a huge yawn with his hand, the action proving extremely amusing to Asuka who giggled at the sight. "So what brings you two over here?"

Before Lucy could respond, Asuka chirped, "Ice cream!"

Cobra squinted at her. "And you chose this spot, because...?"

"I like you guys!" Asuka replied candidly.

Lucy was fairly certain she'd never seen the two former dark mages knocked quite so off balance before. Midnight was definitely wide awake now, and staring outright at the child who'd just declared her affections for them. Cobra, on the other hand, was unable to do anything other than blink rapidly. "Uh..." The poison dragon slayer seemed at a loss for words. It took several bewildered moments for him to muster up a response. "Okay...?"

"I'm watching her for a little bit," Lucy redirected. "So we're getting ice cream." She left the whole liking thing untouched. Poor souls had had quite enough of a shock already (Asuka was a force to be reckoned with).

Over Asuka's head, Cobra's eye narrowed dangerously at Lucy. He silently radiated waves of warning at the celestial mage. Who just smiled at him and pretended not to have noticed anything out of the ordinary (though truth be told, Cobra glaring at people was the norm). Upon seeing that his attempts at intimidation were ineffective, he made an annoyed sound in the back of his throat. Then he turned his attention back to the child, who was now drumming her fingers impatiently against the counter. An annoyance he could actually stand a chance of stopping.

Lucy could almost see the man work through in his head how best to get the child to cease the irritating action without resorting to his usual (violent) methods of getting annoying things to go away.

She decided to take pity on him. "Asuka?" The child's fingers stilled, and she turned to Lucy, curious. "Before Mirajane gets here, what flavor would you like to get?"

Delight shone in her eyes and she let out a giggle. "Guess!"

Although Lucy couldn't see him, she heard Cobra snort in amusement. Pointedly ignoring the man, Lucy put on an exaggeratedly thoughtful expression. Tapping her lip, she thought aloud, "Now what could Asuka's favorite flavor be...?" Asuka continued to grin at her. "Is it... Pumpkin?"

"Ew!" Asuka said, scrunching her face up at the adult. "That's gross!"

"Fair enough," Lucy acknowledged. "Okay then... how about... Spinach?"

That garnered a laugh. "That's even worse!"

Lucy raised her hands up. "Alright, alright! Not a spinach fan, I see." Asuka shook her head vehemently. "Let's see... Carrot?"

"No!"

"It must be lemon, then."

"Nuh uh!"

"Darn! ...Octopus?" she tried, hiding a smile.

"You're horrible at this game," Cobra input.

"Yeah," agreed Asuka. "You're really bad at this, Lucy."

Lucy huffed at the pair. "Well, why don't you try to guess then, Cobra. If you can." She nearly smacked herself at that. Of course he would be able to! He could hear what Asuka was thinking! Why was his magic so easy to forget about? Was it because he rarely made a big deal out of it, now that he was no longer an enemy?

Cobra looked offended. "Of course I can. Who do you think I am, Midnight?"

"Hey," the reflector mage spoke up from Cobra's other side. "Uncalled for."

The dragon slayer rolled his eye. "It's obviously chocolate."

At this, Asuka burst out into giggles again. "Nope!"

Surprised at this response, Lucy glanced over at the poison dragon slayer. How had he gotten this wrong?

He was trying his best to hide it, but there was an unmistakable smirk on his face. "...How did you fool my Soul Listening magic?" Cobra peered at Asuka intently, as she flushed in delight at having bested the poison dragon slayer. "Did you use some sort of trick, or magic?"

Asuka shook her head, grinning.

"Hmm." Cobra straightened up in his seat. "Not going to divulge your secrets, I see. I'll find out eventually." He paused, and then glared at the blonde trying to hide her smile. "What... are you laughing at me? I didn't see you doing any better."

'That was adorable!' Lucy thought.

He bristled in indignation at her insolence.

Midnight coughed at the strange scene the three made. "Hello, Mirajane," he greeted the barwoman, who had been watching as well for some time, unnoticed by the others.

There was a devious, calculating cast to the take over mage's countenance, but it was swiftly wiped from her expression when Midnight addressed her. She turned her patented, brilliant, customer service smile to him. "Hello, Midnight! Would you like a refill?"

Something about that smile scared him, far more than Brain ever had. Midnight nodded cautiously, his danger senses on high alert. "Yes, please."

"Yo, same here," Cobra said.

Mirajane nodded at the pair. "Two refills, then." She turned to Asuka and Lucy, her face softening and the corners of her eyes wrinkling in a genuine smile of affection for the girls. "Asuka, Lucy, what would you two like?"

"Ice cream!" Asuka declared, kicking her feet.

"Same for me," Lucy stated. "We were trying to guess Asuka's favorite flavor earlier, right Asuka?"

"Yup! They weren't able to get it right! I stumped them!"

With a giggle, Mirajane reached for Cobra and Midnight's glasses. Once they were refilled and returned, she took out the ice cream scoop hanging under the counter. "That's fantastic, Asuka! Should I give it a try, as well?"

"Yeah!"

Mirajane set the scoop down on a towel, and pulled out two dishes for the ice cream. "Alright then... let me think..." Asuka giggled again. "Is it... banana?"

The tiny cowgirl let out a whooping cheer, making Cobra cringe beside her. "You got it!"

"Hooray!" Mirajane and Lucy clapped their hands. "The mystery is solved!"

After the round of applause had concluded, Mirajane glanced over at Lucy. "Let me guess, strawberry for you, Lucy?"

"You know me too well, Mira."

Order completed, Mirajane then walked over to the backroom with the dishes and scoop. "I'll be right back!" she promised. "The ice cream is in the large freezer." A moment passed, and then she returned - sans delicious treat. Seeing their confusion, Mirajane shrugged. "I need a pair of scissors to open the new tub, but it would appear that mine have been... borrowed." Her expression promised untold pain to the perpetrator of the theft. "Reedus!" she called out to her guild mate, sitting at a table near the group.

He glanced up from his current work-in-progress - craning her neck, Lucy thought she could make out the start of what would be a breathtaking waterscape. "Oui?" Reedus inquired, "Is there something you need, Mirajane?"

"A pair of scissors, if you wouldn't mind!"

"Happy to help," he reassured her, brandishing his paintbrush. A few flourishes later, the artist had a pair of bright blue scissors in hand. "Will these do?"

Mirajane beamed at him. "They're perfect, thank you!"

"I'll get them!" Asuka declared, jumping down from her bar stool. Running to Reedus, she held out her hands for the scissors, bright spots of colour on her cheeks and a brilliant smile adorning her face. "I'll take them to Mira!"

Reedus smiled fondly down at the young girl. "Oui." He passed them carefully to Asuka, handles first. "Now, Asuka, walk slowly-"

Without waiting to hear the rest of Reedus' words of caution, Asuka whirled away. "I got the scissors!" she yelled to the waiting group, running towards them.

"Wait, Asuka!" Lucy yelped. "Don't run with scissors!"

Asuka obediently slowed down, curiosity shining in her gaze. "Why not?"

"It's very dangerous; you could get hurt!" she scolded.

The diminutive cowgirl tilted her head to the side. "Like how?"

"Um... well..." Internally, Lucy flailed about for an answer. Grasping at an old memories of half-remembered lectures from her mother, Lucy blurted out, "You could... You could poke your eye out with them!"

Asuka stiffened, her eyes slowly widening with horror.

A couple seats down the bar from her, Lucy suddenly heard spluttering as Midnight choked on his drink.

Finally realizing exactly what had just come out of her mouth, dread filled the blonde. She glanced over to the pair of former dark mages. Midnight's hazy, crimson eyes met Lucy's carnelian ones as he held his stomach and wiped his mouth from his drink. His shoulders shook in a display of mirth far greater than any she'd ever seen from him before.

But her gaze slid away from the reflector mage's, as his compatriot slowly turned to face her. Cobra's single, indigo eye bored into Lucy's. She swallowed thickly, and tried to sink into her seat in mortification. Was it just her, or was his scar standing out much more starkly against his dark skin than usual today?

This was bad. Lucy couldn't believe she'd said that! And around Cobra, of all people!

A few moments passed in tense silence. Then Cobra closed his eye, and shook his head slightly. He opened it again, and stated, his voice a touch forlorn, "I really should have listened."

Lucy stared for a moment at the dragon slayer, not quite processing his response. Once it finally reached her brain, shock flooded her veins. She shot a brief glance at Asuka, who was still standing stock-still, scissors gripped tightly in her hands. If anything, she looked even more horrified.

Not too different than what Lucy was feeling at the moment.

She was dead. He was going to kill her for this.

Loud, raucous laughter burst from Midnight at the scene. He bent over in half, unable to suppress his vast enjoyment over what had just occurred.

Regaining her composure somewhat, Lucy decided to make the best out of the situation. She cleared her throat. "Asuka." Once Lucy had the stupefied girl's attention, she continued, "So you need to be careful with scissors, okay? No more running with them?"

Asuka mutely shook her head.

Letting out a delicate cough, Mirajane reminded the group of her presence. She smiled at Asuka. "Thank you for bringing the scissors to me, Asuka."

Still silent, Asuka handed them over before climbing back onto her stool.

"I'll get your ice cream right away, you two."

Midnight pounded the bar counter with one hand, tears streaming from his eyes as he continued to laugh at them. Cobra smacked him on his back none-too-gently. "It wasn't that funny, Macbeth."

Face pressed firmly into the bar surface, the Reflector mage was unable to respond, though he still shook with laughter.

Lucy rubbed the child's back. "So, banana ice cream is your favorite! I wonder what that would taste like on a banana split..."

This seemed to snap Asuka out of her stupor. "What's a banana split?"

"Well, you take a banana, cut in half..." As Lucy pantomimed how to make the dessert, she caught Cobra's gaze. Once her explanation was finished, and Asuka was daydreaming about the fantastic new treat, Lucy sent a questioning look at Cobra.

Over Asuka's head, Cobra mouthed, "You owe me," to Lucy.

Lucy nodded minutely, sweat beading on her forehead. "I know," she mouthed in reply.

Bisca arrived back at the guild just as Asuka was polishing off her ice cream - along with a surprise.

"Daddy!" Asuka cried out, jumping down from her stool and dashing across the guild hall. She leapt in Alzack's arms, the force nearly knocking the gunslinger off his feet.

While the two started talking, Bisca made her way over to Lucy. "Thank you for watching her, Lucy. Alzack and I had some paperwork to deal with at the bank, so I really appreciate all your help."

Lucy shook her head, smiling. "Don't worry, it was no trouble!"

"Still, I'd like to find a way to repay you. Just let me know if there's anything you need, alright?"

The celestial mage let out a laugh. "There's really nothing I need right now," except rent money, "but thanks! I'll keep it in mind."

Cobra pushed away from the bar as the family of three departed. "Well, I think we should probably haul our fearless leader out of here."

"I'm not carrying him," Midnight stated following suit (and once again able to breathe).

His companion snorted. "Then you get to deal with Her Featheriness. Or Richard. Take your pick."

Midnight blanched at the options. "I'll take Jellal." He paused, and nodded at Lucy. "Take care, Lucy."

The blonde woman smiled and nodded at him. "Sure. You two take care as well, okay?"

Cobra smirked at her. "I will. Don't forget you owe me for covering with the kid."

Lucy's stomach sank to her toes. "Yeah, okay. Fair's fair. I'm really sorry about that. So what do I owe you?"

He shrugged, and started walking off. "I haven't decided yet. I'll collect next time. See ya, Bright Eyes!"

Lucy stared after him for a moment. "Where did that nickname come from?" Then she sighed. "Whatever." With a groan, she made her way back to the request board to start her job hunt all over again. "I'm going to spend all day over-analyzing what he's going to ask for, aren't I."

And she did.

I might make a second part to this at some point. It kind of seems to want one. May go back and edit this further at some point too, I dunno.

It's been a fantastic year, Eien! Here's to another year full of CoLu and shouting profanities and flinging sad headcanons at each other over the internet!