This story was written as part of 'The Dare Challenge' over at TF.N. We had to send in a dare for someone else to write and then one was randomly sent to us. The Dare sent to me was...

Write a romantic comedy with a love triangle between Ghent, Mara Jade, and Wes Janson. Include the phrases "Holy force floppin' Ewoks!", "It's not my fault", and "All the people in the universe and I'm stuck with you." DO NOT use the words smile, red, or green.

The idea for the fic came from the show Torchwood (Episode 1.1 Everything Changes). Once that idea popped into my head, I just couldn't get it out even though it did skirt the lines of the Terms of Service at TF.N!

I hope you enjoy!

mav

"I think if I can manage to..." Ghent wasn't talking to anyone specifically, more to himself about what he was doing. "There, I think I got it."

Just as soon as the words were out of his mouth, a set of blast doors came crashing down.

Wes turned around and stared at the slicer. "I thought you knew what you were doing. Now you've got us completely trapped." He glanced out of the corner of his eye to look at the woman standing at the other control, panel giving her a wink as he spoke. "Though the company could be worse."

Mara did her best to control her temper and ignored the wink. "All the people in the universe and I'm stuck with you." She knew that getting angry in this situation would only make it worse, so instead she focused on trying to get them out of the very strange situation in which they found themselves.

They were part of a larger team on a mission to recover some old republic documents, and the three of them had wound up separated from the rest of the group. While trying to recover some of the documents they had accidentally set off an internal security trigger and now they seemed to be trapped. All their attempts to get out only led to more security measures. Whatever it was they were looking for, someone didn't want found.

Wes figured while they were trapped, he might as well take advantage of the situation. Yes, Mara Jade was married to the Jedi Grand Master and she was a Jedi Master herself, but he figured she could use a little comfort in such a stressful situation. He also had a secret weapon up his sleeve.

"So, Mara," he started as he approached her from across the room.

The extremely patient look Mara turned upon the offending pilot spoke volumes about their current predicament. "Are you going to help get us out of here, or are you just going try to flirt?"

"I thought I might help you..."

"I'm fine, thank you." Mara snapped before he could finish his sentence.

A whoop of excitement came from the other side of the room and interrupted what was starting to escalate into an argument. Mara liked Wes Janson in small doses, but she didn't know how much more she could take of being this close to him. Unfortunately, soon after the whoop of joy, there came a loud thunk as another security door came crashing down.

"It's not my fault," cried Ghent. He was doing everything he could to get them out, it was just that everything he could do wasn't good enough. He had yet to find a computer he couldn't slice and he would get this one; he just hoped it was before Wes ended up dead.

Wes took the moment of distraction to use his secret weapon. He had come by this particular spray on some planet he not visited not too long ago. He didn't exactly remember where it was, nor whether or not it would work, but to him it was worth a try.

He took the bottle and sprayed its contents on his face. "Mara," he spoke softly.

"What? I told you--" she stopped mid sentence and the anger she wore on her face disappeared. In its place a sly, and sexy grin sprang into being.

"Holy force floppin' Ewoks! It worked!" Wes didn't speak very loudly for fear that it might undo his erstwhile solution. He didn't know if making his victim realize what they were doing would make it wear off and he didn't want to take any chances.

Not having heard much for a few moments, Ghent looked their way, just to make sure Mara hadn't killed Wes yet: just in time to see her grab him by his collar and slam him into the wall. At first, he thought she was doing so in anger--for he had seen it done many times--but he soon realized that she wasn't going to kill him. Instead, she was going to kiss him.

Most people knew that Ghent was in love with Mara. In fact, he had been since she had first joined Karrde's organization. He loved how strong and independent she was, and how much she cared for the people around her. He could see the caring behind her hard emerald eyes; he had always been able too. But she never thought any more of him than a friend and he was content with that. He knew she loved Luke Skywalker very much and that he made her happy, and that was enough for him. So all of these things made him wonder what Wes had done and why Mara was about to kiss him.

In an act which was very much out of his normal character, Ghent ran over and grabbed Wes, pulling him away from Mara. "What are you doing?"

Wes looked shocked, but before he had time to explain himself Mara jumped in. "What are you doing?" She shoved Ghent out of the way and pulled Wes back towards her, "Come here, you."

Ghent knew something strange was going on and he couldn't let this happen, so once again he grabbed the back of Wes' shirt and yanked with all of his might. He was so angry his face had turned a dark scarlet color. While Wes was stumbling he shoved him to the ground and was about to hit him when Wes took something out of his pocket.

"Well," Wes semi-shrugged, "if it helps..." and he sprayed the solution on his face once again.