Chapter One: A Hundred Days

I took one last look at my darling Esme one last time as a single tear ran down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away, afraid my kids would see it.

"Come on kids, lets go get something to eat." My mother suggested, trying to pull them out of the ICU room Esme was in.

"But, I wanna stay here with mom." My eldest, Emmett said. Emmett was fifteen and never showed a thought of fear until I told him his mother was in a coma from the cancer moving to her brain.

"Your mom will be here when you get back." My father tried, but they were resisting.

"I refuse to leave mom alone." Alice protested, squeazing her mothers hand.

"Alice, Emmett, please go with your grandparents." I said, trying not to show how I was really feeling. They tried protesting, but they soon grew tired of fighting a loosing battle. After they were gone, Esme's doctor and good friend of mine came into the room.

"She's brain dead, Carlisle. She won't ever recover from this. We can keep her breathing and her heart beating, but there isn't anything we can do for her." He said, and my mind spun. I didn't want to loose her, not like this. But if she would only live like this; a vegtable; I had to do what she thought was right. I also knew as a doctor myself that this was the worse state she could be in.

"I know..." I whispered as I took her hand in mine.

"I'm so sorry. The cancer spread too fast, we couldn't keep up with it." Aro tried telling me, things I had already been told.

"Can I have a minute alone with her?" I asked.

"Of course. Tell me when your ready." He said and left the room.

"Esme...my dear Esme. I am so sorry I can't be of more help. I am so in love with you and you have no idea what you have done for me. You gave me two great kids, who will always keep you with me. I love you...so much." I said my goodbyes but I wasn't ready for them to turn off the machines. Alice, Emmett and my parents arrived shortly after and stopped dead in their tracks and there color drained from their faces.

"Daddy?" Alice asked, walking up to me.

"Emmett, come over here." I said and my parents left us alone. He sat down next to me as Alice kept her stance behind me. "You're mother loved you very much. And we tried so hard to conquer the cancer, but it was too fast growing. Her body, will never recover from this...she will live but only like this. With tubes breathing for her and keeping her heart beating. Your mother and I talked when she found out about the cancer, and she told me if she was ever in this state, she would want to turn the machines off." I explained.

"No." Emmett said, standing up.

"Emmett, please. This is hard enough." I begged, grabbing ahold of Alice's small hand.

"You're giving up? Your giving up on mom aren't you?"

"Of course not. We've done everything we can..."

"Well you should have done more!" He yelled.

"Emmett..."

"I can't believe you...how could you?" He asked and stormed out of the room.

"Emmett..." I called but he was gone. I had to worry about Alice right now, she needed me more. "Alice, sweetheart..."

"Mom's...gonna die?" She asked, trying to hold back the tears. I became even more scarred. Alice was thirteen, how in the world was she supposed to go through her teenage years without a mother?

"Yeah, baby I'm so sorry." I said as she collasped into my arms. Aro came in a few minutes later, to ask if we were ready.

"Carlisle?" He asked and I looked up from Alice. "Are you ready to do this?" He asked.

"No...I never will be...but it's...time." I said as Alice fell into my chest again crying. Emmett came back in, reluctantly and huffy to spend her last moments of life with her. We each held her hands and the machines were turned off. Slowly, the machines began to stop their beeping and soon enough, the heart moniter had a steady ring telling us, she was gone. Emmett kissed her hand and then ran out of the room, holding back tears. Alice just fell into my chest again, her eyes never ran out of tears.

The drive home to the house was silent. Emmett refused to talk to me after I had 'killed their mother' and Alice was so drained, she couldn't even form words. He pulled into the driveway and Emmett quickly opened the door. He was just about to close it when he said the worse thing Carlisle could here at this moment.

"I hate you." He said angrily and slammed the door, making Alice cry harder.

It was the end of the day and I was exhousted. The night before was spent in Alice's room trying to get her to sleep...so I had no sleep. Emmett was still refusing to speak to me and I was burying my wife in a day. Life...sucked to say the least. I looked at and saw Emmett standing near the casket and I thought it was as good as any to talk to him. I walked up and the closer I got, I could see him holding her hand, moving his lips to speak to her.

"Hi, Emmett." I said softly.

"What do you want? Your the reason we're here." He said angrily, not looking at me.

"Emmett, no I'm not. I didn't do this."

"You...pulled the plug. She could still be alive if you hadn't..."

"Emmett, a machine was breathing for her. She wasn't alive." He said and his face softened.

"I know...but..." He said as he began tp cry for the first time since Esme had died.

"It's going to be a hard few years, without her here, but you know her. She wouldn't want you to fret over this...and she defineatly wouldn't want you talking to me the way you have been for the last few days." I said after everyone had gone and it was just family lingering.

"I know...I'm sorry, Dad. I was just so...angry and I needed to blame it on someone and Alice would have exploded if I tried blaming it on you...putting the blame on someone was just easier than facing it, I guess."

"I understand...but we need each other as a family right now, Alice is a mess, she's going to need stability. Her whole world is crumbling beneath her." I said, looking at my daughter who had pulled a chair up to the casket, just sitting with her.

"Is she going to be okay?" Emmett asked after starring at her for a long time.

"I hope so." I whispered before I saw my mother coming up to Emmett and I.

"I think it's time to get Ali out of here, she's going to go crazy if she continues to stare at Esme." My mother suggested. I looked over at Alice and she was right, she was practically hanging on Esme.

"Yeah, I think so too. Em, help me out." I said, getting up and walking over to Alice.

"Ali..." I started, she'd always gone by that name, claiming 'Alice' was "too old" for her. It had been Esme's late mother's name and it was a tad out of date but I'd always loved it.

"Alice. I wanna be called Alice." She said, no emotion in her voice. "Mom named me Alice...she liked that name...I want to be called Alice." She said as she got worked up over nothing.

"Okay...Alice...it's time to go home now." I said, tugging her arm.

"No...I don't want to leave her, she'll be all my herself."

"Alice, sweetie, we have to leave. We can't stay here." I tried.

"No. I'm staying. You and Em can go home." She said and I saw her knuckles turning white from holding the side of the casket so tightly.

"Alice..."

"NO!" She yelled. She left me no choice. Emmett had to pry her hands off the casket and carry her to the car. She kicked and screamed the whole way home, throwing a full out temper tantrum, but once Emmett put her into her bed, she fell right asleep.

"What in the world am I going to do, Mom?" I asked, playing with the spoon in my coffee later that night after Emmett had gone to bed.

"We'll all be here to help, honey." She said, stroking my arm.

"I know...and I'm grateful for all you've done durning the past few days. But Ali...excuse me, Alice is going to loose it. It's been three days and I'm already at loss of how to take care of a thirteen year old girl. Heck I barely know how to raise a fifteen year old boy...and I was one."

"Okay. One, Emmett doesn't really need 'raising' anymore, he needs dicipline. Second, your sister and I are right on the other side of town. We can be here in ten minutes."

"Mother, I know. Alice through a temper tantrum while we were leaving the funeral home today. What's going to happen tomorrow when we finally...bury Esme?" I asked, my mind reeling. I was not prepared to be a single father.

"Have you considered hiring help?" She asked.

"Help?"

"Like a nanny..."

"They aren't children, Mom. They are teenagers...even Alice now."

"Yes, and now you are left to parent them yourself. It might be nice to have help living here, someone Alice can always depend on. Victoria and I will be here in ten minutes if needed, but having someone to help you all the time, might make your life easier."

"I mean...I guess. How do I find one though? An AD in the paper?" I asked, joking.

"Yeah, you'd be surprised how many people would be will to take the job. Just think about it, okay?" She asked standing up and putting out coffee mugs in the sink. "I'm going to be. Night honey...and please, try to sleep in your own room tonight...I don't want to find you on the couch again tomorrow morning."

"I can't help it, Mom. It...hurts too much to be in there." I said and she kissed the top of my head and grabbed a clump of my hair, bringing my ear close to her mouth.

"Life, will go on, darling." She whispered and walked out of the kitchen. I sighed, looking at the family picture that had been taking on Emmett's seventh birthday. Esme was kneeling beside Emmett, her hands wrapped around his neck. Alice was on my shoulder's as I knelt beside Esme, my arms around her waist. We were all so happy, and now, that was...gone.

"Living God, you have lit the day with the sun's light
and the midnight with shining stars.
Lighten our hearts with the bright beams
of the Sun of Righteousness
risen with healing in his wings,
Jesus Christ our Lord.
And so preserve us in the doing of your will,
that at the last we may shine
as the stars for ever;
through the same Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen." The minister prayed at Esme's funeral service the next day. I starred up at him, my face hard. I was tired of crying, tired of feeling weak. I looked over at Alice who had brought her knees up to her face, burying it in her dress. I wrapped my arms around her shoulder and she didn't even look up.

"Esme's eldest and only son would like to give her eulogy." The minister spoke and I tapped his knee before he got up and walked up front.

"Mom, no truer words could ever be spoken by a son expressing his love and gratitude for his mother. I owe so much to you—from taking care of my sisrer and I when we were younger to always being there for me over the years. There was no way that I could ever repay you for all the sacrifices you made. All I could ever hope and pray for was to be the son you would always be proud of just as much as I was proud of you...You see Mom I was the one who was truly blessed. Mom, you were always an "Angel" to me, and all that I am and ever hope to be I owe to you. You are forever in my heart and I know right now you are looking down upon me and feeling very, very proud that I was you son, and I know Ali was proud to call herself your daughter...thank you." He said before falling into tears. I knew he was trying to be brave for his sister, but he himself was tired of hiding it.

The funeral seemed to drag on for days. Everyone who spoke, seemed to speak slowly. I just wanted this horrid day to end, I wanted to take my children home and relive great memories with them, but I knew as long as Alice was in this condition, we wouldn't be doing that for a long time. Once we were at Esme's grave sight, Alice tried climbing into the whole that would soon be filled with her mother's casket. It took me, my father, Emmett, and my brother, Felix to pull her up and carry her to the car. Her life, would never be the same and I grew scarred in thinking she'd never come to terms with her mother's death.

The wake had ended and all that remained was my family and the kids. Alice was asleep in her room and Emmett was locked up in mine and Esme's old room, looking at old pictures I presumed.

"Dad?" I heard his voice call from the doorway to the living room.

"What, Em?" I asked, not wanting to move from this space.

"When was this taken?" He asked, showing me a picture of Esme and I. It was right before I had proposed to her. We were sitting on the Florida beach, someone had just been taken photagraphs and was somehow able to capture the moment before, and the actual proposal. Esme was sitting with her back leaning against me. We looked son in love, but I look like I was about to throw up. "you look like you're going to be sick." He joked as I took the picture from his hand.

"This...was right before I proposed to her. A photographer was just taking pictures and we were lucky enough to have had him there to take this picture for us."

"You look so...in love. How'd you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Keep your relationship going for so long. It seems impossible to keep a relationship."

"Emmett, son, you're fifteen. You and Jane dated for like two months. When it's right...you'll know and you won't ever want to let her go." I said as I heard footsteps coming from upstairs and then down the stairs. "Is this the first time she's been out?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think...Dad, she's really starting to scare me...she hasn't eaten since Mom...died."

"I know...she has to heal in her own way though. And I've made her eat. She isn't starving." I assuered him as Alice came into the room.

"Hey, Ali." My younger brother Felix greeted.

"It's Alice, Uncle Felix." She barked at him.

"Sorry, hi ALICE." He said and she rolled her eyes at him before disappearing into the kitchen.

"Well, Esme's death could not have come at a worse time...oh boy. This is going to be a long few months." I sighed.