All my associated Elder Scrolls properties are belong to Bethesda. Some one set us up the story! (And those quotes are Zero Wing's, not M'aiq's…obviously.)
M'aiq
the Liar presents "Prophecies of Morrowind: The Musical"
Act
I: The Outlander.
Scene
1. "Her Arrival" - A parody of Aladdin's "Arabian
Nights" © Disney.
Guard:
So,
you've finally arrived. Our records don't show from where…
Nelle:
Oh,
I come from a land, from a faraway place
Where
the chance of survival is slim
Where
there's battle all year
Since
we're all just one race
It's
barbaric, but hey, it's Skyrim.
When
the winds from the South
And
the peaks of Jerall
And
the snow on the ground is right
March
on up, stop on by
Climb
a mountain and fall
To
another snowy night.
Skyrim
nights
Unlike
Skyrim days
More
often than not
You'll
get slain on the spot
From
drunken swordplay.
Skyrim
nights
'Neath
Tamriel skies
A
Nord with his mead
Could
fall off his steed
Out
there on the ice.
Guard:
…Great.
I'm sure you'll fit right in.
Scene
2. "One Theft Too Many" - A parody of Aladdin's "One
Jump Ahead" © Disney.
Guard:
Stop!
You've violated the law!
Nelle:
Gotta
keep—
One
jump ahead of the Dunmer
One
spell ahead of the Altmer
I
only steal from who I can.
(That's
anyone!)
One
line ahead of the Imperial
That's
all for those stiff folks
'Cause
they don't appreciate my jokes.
Crowd:
N'wah! S'wit! You thief! Fetcher!
Nelle:
Just need a clever disguise.
Crowd:
Beat her down, lock her up, guys!
Nelle:
I can take a hint, gotta face the facts
But
I'm not getting caught by you!
Crowd:
What!
She's
become a one-woman thieves' guild
I'd
blame parents except she hasn't got 'em.
Nelle:
Gotta earn to live, gotta steal to earn
I'll
tell you all about it if I'm not killed!
'Cause
I gotta keep—
One
step ahead of the Redguard
Next
time I won't steal from a singing bard
One
jump ahead of the Bosmer
One
hit ahead of the Orcs
Now
I'm sorry for stealing all those forks.
Crowd:
Outlander! N'wah! You thief! Stoopid!
Nelle:
Let's not get too crazy
Man:
Get a job, and don't be lazy!
Nelle:
Gotta earn to live, gotta steal to earn
Otherwise,
I'd be poor like you!
Crowd:
Fetcher!
Nelle:
One
place ahead of Argon'an
One
swing ahead of the Nord
One
move ahead of the Breton
They're quick, but I've got my sword
Here
goes, my luck never fails
Wish
me happy trails
All
I'm gonna do is run!
Reprise.
Nelle:
N'wah,
outlander
Horrid
slander.
If
only they'd look closer
Would
they see a smart thief? No sera.
They'd
find out
There's
not that much…to me…
Scene 3. "Dagoth Prepares" – A parody of Lion King's "Be Prepared" © Disney.
Dagoth:
I
know that my powers of attraction
Are
as warped as an old, iron blade
However,
I must get to action
For
my plans are all fully laid
It's
clear from my unholy oppression
The
n'wah must fall by my hand
I'm
talking with guile and discretion
Through
dark nightmares I'll begin my stand
So
prepare for some marvelous breakthroughs
Be
prepared for sensational news
A
shining new era
Will
make my plans clearer
Dreamer:
And
what will we offer?
Dagoth:
Just keep
listening to Ur.
I
know it sounds far-fetched
But
with our hands outstretched
We'll
at last claim what is ours!
And
prejudice savagely squared
Be
prepared!
Dreamer:
Be prepared for what?
Dagoth:
For the death of the n'wah!
Dreamer:
Right, who's the n'wah?
Dagoth:
Oh, you fool, the wicked sinners…the weaklings!
Dreamer:
Great idea, who's killing them?
Dagoth: We are, you infidel!
Dreamer:
Oh, right. Well, I—
Dagoth:
—And I will finally rule!
Dreamer:
…
Dagoth:
I said, I will RULE!
Dreamer:
…huzzah…?
Dagoth:
Of
course, without saying, you will be
Used
as a sacrifice for duty
The
future will bring satisfaction
And
yes, I'm the main attraction
I
must now bring to light one thing
I
won't get beat by the Nerevarine!
So
prepare for the house of the era
Be
prepared for a dangerous scheme
Meticulous
planning
The
infidels' banning
Decades
of reprisal
Is
simply why I'll
Be
respected and well known
As
the Sixth House's backbone
And
seen for the god that I am
Yes,
my heart of Lorkhan is bared
Be
prepared!
Dreamer:
Yes,
uh…I'm sorry I erred.
Be
prepared!
Exeunt all. End.
A word from M'aiq: So, that concludes Act I. I'm more or less just trying to increase my poem-writing XP. The Dagoth part might not be entirely correct with the 'real' plans, but it's close enough, I say. I'll update soon enough and am open to song suggestions.
