Author's Note: I don't even know. I just wanted to write something and so I randomly picked a prompt (from TwilightBrightStar as usual) and this is the result. Much less angsty then my last two stories. Hope it's enjoyable!
Prompt: Modern AU - All Human - Klaus gets drunk at a bar and calls Elijah.
Disclaimer: The Originals and all related characters still do not belong to me. I just enjoy borrowing them from time to time. Even the title of this fic is not mine. It is shamelessly stolen from a Buffy, The Vampire Slayer episode.
Beer Bad
"And then she threw her hairspray at my head and now we're done. Davina and I are over," Kol said, waving his empty glass in his older brother's face before slamming it down on the bar between them.
"No," Klaus slurred, pointing blearily at Kol. "No. Crazy or not, that kind of love never dies. Davina will come around."
Kol snorted, shaking his head. "She threw. Her hairspray. At my head," he repeated, saying the words slowly and carefully as though he was afraid Klaus had missed them the first time.
"At least she didn't light the bed on fire while you were still in it," Klaus pointed out, somewhat reasonably he thought, as he motioned to the bartender.
"Aurora is crazy," Kol said once their glasses had been refilled. "Remind me again why you're still with her?"
"Aurora and I understand each other," Klaus said, taking a gulp of his beer.
"Right. How about that time she locked you out of the house without any clothes and you were arrested for indecent exposure? Did you understand her then?" Kol smirked.
"She was upset," Klaus defended, shaking his head. "Tristan had told her that I had a thing for Caroline Forbes."
"Didn't you end up calling Elijah in a panic and he had to bail you out and bring you clothes?" Kol asked, ignoring his brother.
"I think we're getting off track here," Klaus said quickly, scowling, as Kol drained his glass. "The point is... the point..."
Klaus frowned, staring at his beer in confusion.
"Davina?" Kol supplied helpfully, rolling his eyes.
"Right," Klaus agreed, nodding. "The point is Davina will come around."
"Maybe," Kol muttered, sighing. "She was pretty adamant though."
"We're closing. You two need to clear out," the bartender announced, taking away their empty beer glasses.
Outside of the bar Klaus and Kol stumbled to Klaus's car. "I shouldn't drive," Klaus said, swaying.
Kol snickered. "I'll drive," he offered with a smirk and Klaus rolled his eyes.
"Right. I'm going to let my seventeen year old drunk brother drive. Because that's so much better."
Kol laughed, leaning against Klaus's car and staring up at the dark sky. "A cab then?" he asked.
"Of a sort," Klaus smirked, leaning next to Kol and pulling out his phone.
The bedside table was vibrating. The thought pierced his sleep fogged brain slowly and twenty four year old Elijah Mikaelson frowned, lifting his head from his pillow in confusion.
It was his phone, he realized, suppressing a groan. Grabbing it he squinted at the caller ID in the dark, not entirely surprised to see Niklaus's name.
"If you're naked in another jail cell, brother, you can wait until morning," he said once he had answered and there was a drunken laugh from the other end.
"We both know you wouldn't do that to me, big brother," Niklaus's voice said. "Best not to make idle threats."
"Are you drunk?" Elijah asked, sitting up in his bed with a sigh.
"Elijah!" a voice somewhere in the background called, dissolving into laughter.
"Is that Kol?" Elijah demanded. "Is there a reason you and Kol are drunk? You are aware you're both underage, right?"
"Oh don't be such a wet blanket, Elijah," Klaus snorted and Kol guffawed.
"Where are you?" Elijah sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Elijah!" Kol exclaimed when Elijah pulled up in front of them. "Definitely better than a taxi," he said, stepping away from where he was still leaning on Klaus's car and promptly falling to the ground.
"Wonderful," Elijah sighed as Klaus burst into laughter.
From the ground Kol groaned but didn't move.
"On your feet, brother," Elijah muttered, heaving Kol upright and supporting most of his weight.
"So much better than a taxi," Kol slurred, his head lolling onto Elijah's shoulder.
"Yes, thanks ever so," Elijah said sarcastically as Klaus snickered and climbed unsteadily into the front passenger's seat.
"Homeward bound!" Kol slurred, mostly dead weight as Elijah struggled to get him situated in the backseat.
"No. You're both coming to my place," Elijah said decisively, finally buckling Kol in as his head titled backwards against the seat and his eyes closed. "Where exactly do Mother and Father think Kol is?" he asked as Kol snored.
Klaus frowned, considering. "I didn't ask," he admitted, having the grace to look a little abashed. "Why are you taking us to your place?"
"If I take Kol home now, drunk, at three in the morning after he has been out with you, who do you think Father will blame?" Elijah asked carefully as he started the car and Klaus paled. "As for why you are also going to stay with me," the elder continued, sparing Klaus from having to answer. "Suffice it to say I would really rather not have to deal with Aurora before the sun is even up."
"She's better than Katerina," Klaus muttered, leaning his head back and allowing his eyes to slip closed, not really minding the thought of staying at Elijah's, and trusting his older brother to take care of whatever needed taking care of.
"Debatable," Elijah snorted, rolling his eyes. "Sleep, brother," he added, sighing. "I'll wake you when we get there and you will help me get Kol inside. And in the morning we are going to have a little chat about underage drinking and the type of example an older brother should set."
-End.