The crowd booms with the sound of screaming fans as he steps onto the stage. He takes a deep breath, grabs the mic, and starts to let loose.

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

The words flow effortlessly from his mouth. Jade Curtiss, lead rapper of the Black Eyed Fonists, has performed this routine countless times. He's lost track of how many times he's sung this song to thousands of excited fans, but it didn't matter. This was his drive, his passion. He loved his job as an entertainer with all his heart. Still, something was missing. A piece of him, and he didn't know which one.

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Just as he sang that line for the umpteenth time, he found it. In that moment, Jade Curtiss found himself staring back into the endless blue eyes of a fan in the crowd. Time seemed to slow down, the world blurred until there was only him and the person. Jade was still a performer, however, and quickly snapped back to reality. Still, as the concert went on, he found himself contantly scanning the crowd for that fan. He wanted to burn his image into his memory, he needed to find this person.

"Hey Jade, you alright? You look kind of down," Luke, one of Jade's back up rappers, asked him. Stirred from his thoughts, he replied, "I just can't get him out of my mind..."

"The guy from the concert?"

"He was perfect. He was the one. I have to have him," Jade swooned.

"You're awfully emotionally invested in a guy you only caught a glimpse of once in a crowd of thousands of sexy mamas who would love to get down n dirty with you, big boy," Luke responded, but it was no use. Jade was in love. True love conquers all social norms.

Right then and there, Jade shot out of his chair and went to get his laptop. He opened it and went to work. He searched, questioned, and sought. After hours of effort and googling, he finally found what he was looking for. Peony Jr IX. He found his name, location, home address, social security number, everything.

This was it. Everything had come down to this moment. His seven hours of Facebook searching had finally led him to this house. He starts to sweat, but he chokes down his nervousness. With a steady hand, he rings to doorbell.

Slowly, the door opens. There stands Peony, looking pleasantly shocked to see his celebrity crush standing at his doorstep. All sense flies out of Jade Curtiss's head. Every thought, every word he wanted to say. He didn't know what to do, but he had to do something. Without another thought, he began to dougie furiously. He started doing all the moves. All of them. Peony was astounded, he nearly fainted from Jade's slick dancing. Jade finished with the flyest move he knew, and looked Peony dead in the eye.

"Emperor Peony IX," he said as passionately as he could, "Will you marry me?"

Peony's eyes welled up with tears. "Oh yes, Jade! Yes! Of course I'll marry you!"

Three months later, the happy couple was wed. They had the crunkest, happenest, off-the-chainest wedding in hip-hop history. All the flyest guys were there. Soulja Boy Asch, The YingYang Replicas, hell, even Kanye Dist came to see them.

So if you ever find yourself wondering, where is the love? Well, it might be closer than you think. ;)