Disclaimer:
I do not own Digimon or any of the characters from the show, I'm just using
them.
Author's Note: This story is basically an AU version of Season 2, Episode 43 (World Tour, Part 3). AU in this case means some parts of the story will be different, it also means that Yamato and Sora never got together before this (and never will, dammit!)
It's where Yamato and Ken are sent to Mexico together and from the moment I started watching it, I knew it was just begging to be slashed. Come on, the two prettiest boys, alone together, in Mexico, in a darkened corridor? Join the dots. I've used some of the original dialogue and events from the English dubbed version, but I've kept the Japanese names cos they're prettier.
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Ruins
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They crouch in the bushes, watching the guards march back and forth in front of the Mayan ruins, and Yamato shifts uneasily, impatiently. He is not usually easily agitated or rash, but the whole world could be at stake here.
"Where are the Mexican digi-destined? I thought they were supposed to meet us!" he whispers angrily, "what chance do we have with four of us to that many of them?"
"Nobody said it would be easy."
Ken's usually clear violet eyes are a stormy grey in the faint moonlight, and as he stares at them, Yamato's anger fades to a strange, twisting, almost guilty feeling that lodges itself somewhere in his stomach.
"That's true."
Yamato knows that Ken isn't just talking about their mission. Yamato knows that for Ken, nothing is ever easy.
He also knows the he isn't the only one who realises this. As they sneak forward and Ken tries to convince the guard to let them inside, Yamato sees how Wormmon never leaves Ken's side. How, while Gabumon eagerly explores his new surroundings, sniffing and pawing here and there, Wormmon's eyes remain fixed on his beloved friend, as if to make sure that Ken is still really there.
"Now get out of here, go home!"
Yamato is jolted back to the task at hand as the guard dismisses them with a wave of his hand, refusing them entry into the ruins. He turns to Ken as they walk away, intending to ask him what he thinks they should do next, but is stopped by the sudden flash of hot anger in the younger boy's eyes. It is not an annoyed sort of anger, the kind Yamato was feeling before, but white-hot and dangerous. It is a look Yamato has seen in Ken's eyes before, but he doesn't mention it, and neither, he notices, does Wormmon, although the Digimon looks slightly worried.
Yamato often wonders about Wormmon. He wonders, if his best friend were to ever turn into a heartless, sadistic bastard who treated Yamato like a piece of dirt that he'd found on the bottom of his shoe, would he put up with it? If Taichi, or Takeru, or any of his friends, if one of them had chosen Ken's path, Yamato wonders if he would have loved them enough, had enough faith in them, to not give up on them.
And afterwards, would he have had the strength and heart to forgive them for everything that had happened? Yamato remembers seeing Wormmon in the Digital World when the Kaiser was in control, the harsh red whip marks on his back, the almost constant tears in his eyes, the bite of Ken's voice as he constantly humiliated the one thing in the whole world that loved him. Yamato remembers this, and he doesn't think that he can answer his own questions. He hopes that he won't ever have to.
"Well, so much for sneaking in the back door, huh?"
He gives Ken a small smile, and to his surprise, the boy smiles back, his gaze once again calm.
"Good thing I'm here, eh?"
Startled, they both turn to see Gennai, or someone that looks exactly like him, walking towards them.
"Ah, my manners! I am José, Gennai's Mexican counterpart."
"Great timing." Yamato is genuinely relieved, both at the arrival of someone who can help them get in, but also at the welcome distraction from the dark thoughts he has been having.
As Jose distracts the guards, Ken spots the opportunity for the four of them to get inside. He grabs Yamato by the arm, and with an inclination of his head, begins running toward the entrance, dragging the other boy with him.
Safely inside, they stop, leaning against the dank stone walls, panting. Yamato notices a light pressure on his wrist, and looks down to see that Ken's hand is still wrapped around it. They look at each other, and Yamato sees a strange kind of light dancing in Ken's eyes. He assumes this is a result of their escape from the guards. Ken has always looked more alive when he has been running, or playing soccer, as if it is a way for him to get away from the darkness and sadness that haunt his life, if only for a few seconds.
Ken suddenly pushes away from the wall, letting go of Yamato, and laughs, pointing behind them. Yamato turns to see Wormmon and Gabumon burst through the door and crash into a tangled heap on the floor. Gabumon is laughing too, as Wormmon looks sheepish.
"Sorry, Ken, I didn't see you leave. We were watching Jose doing his martial arts and then I realised you'd gone so we ran and..."
"We got a little carried away." Gabumon explains, smiling up his partner.
Yamato smiles back, feeling a sudden burst of gladness at having his Digimon by his side again.
"That's ok, guys, but come on, we should get going."
****
The stone corridor is very dark and Yamato can hardly see a thing. He can hear the click-clack of Wormmon's scuttling on the hard floor, and, softer, but closer, Ken's light breathing somewhere in front of him. The younger boy breathes the way he talks, softly and evenly, as if he is measuring each one before he lets it out.
"I read somewhere that there is an ancient king buried in these ruins."
Yamato has gotten so wrapped up in listening to Ken breathe, that when the boy finally speaks, he is taken aback.
"Oh, uh, yeh..."
Of course, Ken knows things like this. Yamato wonders sometimes if that is the reason Ken finds it so hard to let other people in. Maybe he is already too filled up with knowledge and facts to allow something as trivial as love or friendship squeeze its way inside.
"...um, maybe we'll see his ghost! Wouldn't that be cool?"
Yamato winces at the lameness of his statement, but Wormmon suddenly adds to the discussion with a huge yell.
"Waaaaah!"
Ken stops so quickly that Yamato runs into him, their bodies crashing into each other. This is the first time they have really ever been in contact, and Yamato notices that, even though Ken looks small and fragile, he actually feels quite solid. There is a surprising strength in his body, and rather than being cold, like his pale skin suggests, he is quite warm...
"Calm down, he's just kidding!"
At the sound of Ken's voice, Yamato steps back quickly, so quickly that he bangs his shoulder into the slimy wall.
"Ok, that is a little spooky."
Yamato does not have time to dwell on why he is suddenly so interested in what Ken's body feels like, as he sees the ugly green face painted on the wall in front of them. It stares back at them, the portrait of some ancient god, painted by an ancient people, god knows how long ago. He nods in agreement, forgetting that Ken probably can't see him in the darkness.
"I'm not afraid of ghosts..." Wormmon's voice trails off as he moves ahead. Yamato moves to walk forward too, but once again bumps into something soft and warm. Ken is still standing, looking at the face on the wall. This time Yamato doesn't move away.
"You know, everyone says ancient ruins like this are so beautiful, but then they have something like this here."
Ken pauses, but Yamato stays silent. Now they are this close again, he can smell the other boy's hair as it tickles his nose, soft and sweet and fresh like rainwater.
"They talk about the past like it's some wonderful, brilliant thing. But it's not always. Sometimes it's ugly, sometimes..."
This time Ken stops mid-sentence, and he sounds so lost that Yamato feels compelled to speak, only he doesn't know what to say. He reaches his arm up awkwardly and puts his hand on the smaller boy's shoulder.
"Ken..."
He doesn't know whether to feel annoyed or relieved at Wormmon's interruption, as the Digimon suddenly reappears with two lights stuck in his headband. The glow sticks light up the corridor, and everyone in it, and Yamato sees that Ken has his eyes closed tight, as if he has been thinking about something painful, or maybe even wishing hard for something. He wonders how long Ken's eyes have been closed like that.
"Sometimes I'm so smart it scares me."
Wormmon's proud announcement seems to shake Ken out of his spell, and his eyes snap open. As their partners tease each other, the eyes of the two boys meet, deep violet battling with shocking blue, for some sort of comprehension or understanding of what has just passed between them.
"Sometimes you scare me too, but I think it's for a different reason."
"Gabumon!"
Yamato reluctantly pulls away from Ken to chide his friend.
"Sorry."
"He may be a goofy little glow-worm, but that light was a great idea."
He smiles at Wormmon, who nods knowingly.
"Geniuses are always misunderstood," the insect Digimon informs him as they begin to move down the corridor once more.
"You're not wrong." Yamato agrees softly, but Ken hears him and smiles. They fall into step together and Yamato tries to ignore the tingle he feels as their arms lightly brush each other.
The peace is suddenly broken as Wormmon rounds the next corner and collides head on with a Gotsumon who is coming from the other direction. A young girl steps out from behind them, at first eyeing them suspiciously, but then grinning broadly as she spots Ken.
"Buenos nochez!"
"Hi - uh, I mean, Buenos nochez. You must be one of the Mexican Digi- Destined."
Yamato notes that Ken's friendly voice holds no trace of the pain that was present only a short time before. He wonders at how Ken is able to do this, how many times he has seemed quite happy when it has really been an act, when he has really been hiding his feelings deep inside.
"Yes, my name is Rosa. You're really cute - now I'm double-glad I sneaked out of the house to help you!"
Yamato watches with amusement as Rosa gushes over Ken, and smiles at how patient Ken is with her. This time as they walk, he hangs back a little, observing the other boy from a distance. He realises that this is the first time he has seen Ken in normal clothes, and the look suits him. The loose, collared shirt is a nice change from the harsh, bright Kaiser's uniform, or Ken's usual white 'boy genius' outfit that makes him look stiff and uncomfortable. Yamato thinks that even Ken's soccer uniform, no matter how well he plays, doesn't suit him. It still marks Ken as the Boy Wonder that everyone worships rather than, well, this boy here. This boy who is just Ken, who is laughing and joking with Rosa, who is sweet enough to hold her hand in the dark corridor, who is...
What, exactly? Yamato struggles to remember when he started analysing the other boy like this. When he started thinking about what Ken looks like in certain clothes, or how his eyes changed from the darkest purple when he was upset, to a clear, sparkling amethyst when he laughed.
"You're a rude little girl!"
Yamato is once again jolted out of his thoughts by Wormmon's scandalised voice.
"I'm what?"
Rosa sounds just as angry as the Digimon, and Yamato smiles as he sees Ken struggling not to laugh at the two fighting over him. Ken looks at him pleadingly, and Yamato nods.
"Calm down guys, there's no need for an international incident here." He looks at Ken slyly and winks before adding, "There's enough of Ken to go around!"
Ken stares at him for a second before smirking and raising his eyebrows. Rosa ignores Yamato and latches back onto Ken.
"So Ken, do you have a girlfriend? If you don't, maybe you could move here! Then I could be your girlfriend! Don't you think I'm cute?"
Ken continues to smirk at Yamato as he replies. "No, no girlfriend." He slowly and deliberately winks back at Yamato before Rosa pulls him forward and their gaze is broken.
Yamato decides he has done enough analysing for today, so he does not dwell on the warm sensation that seems to trickle down his spine after this exchange.
****
"Stingmon, these ruins are the last will and testament of the Mayans. Try and leave them in one piece."
From the other side of the battle, Yamato laughs silently at Ken's quip. For such a serious boy, he sometimes surprises the others with his wit. But...Yamato remembers, the Digimon Kaiser, although evil, was similarly witty. The thought disturbs him for a moment, as he recalls Ken's earlier flash of anger. He wonders if it will ever stop, if Ken will ever be able to let go of who he was. An even scarier thought hits him - does Ken want to let go? Is there some part of him that remembers the power and the destruction and enjoys it?
"Send them back, Ken!"
Jose's voice rings out through the sounds of the snarling Minotaurumon and Dokugumon. As the huge monsters are sucked back into the Digiport, Yamato shakes the thoughts from his head. Ken couldn't feel that way and still be here, fighting beside him, smiling at him that way, winking at him like that...
'What the hell is going on here?'
Yamato turns to Ken, hoping to maybe find an answer, but is stunned at the sight of Ken holding the sleeping, battle-weary Rosa in his arms. The former Kaiser looks at her with an expression of such tenderness that Yamato cannot deny what he has been feeling all day. Oh hell, what he's known ever since he met Ken.
The boy is beautiful.
Yamato suddenly finds himself trapped by intense violet eyes as Ken raises his head to look at him. Ken's expression changes as he stares, from a kind of dawning comprehension, to something else, something unfathomable. He stands up quickly with the girl still in his arms, as their Digimon partners join them.
"We'd better get her home to her parents." Yamato breaks the awkward silence and starts walking away briskly, trying not to look at the other boy at all. Ken stares after him for a moment, then slowly moves forward, struggling to understand what is happening to them.
They do not speak again until it is almost time to leave. Wormmon and Gabumon run off to explore amongst the fallen stones one last time, but not before Wormmon leaves Yamato with a look that is easy to understand. 'Look after him while I'm not here.'
Yamato is fairly certain that even if he tried, it would be impossible for him to not look after Ken. In fact he is very sure that if something were to happen to Ken, Wormmon might not be the only one who was inconsolable.
"Weird day, huh?"
Yamato notices that Ken sounds a little uncertain, like he didn't really mean to say this, he meant to say something else, but this popped out instead.
"Yeh."
He avoids looking at Ken, fiddling with a thread on his sleeve.
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry for getting all intense in there before, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just sometimes..."
Yamato can't stand it anymore, and he stares right into Ken's eyes.
"You didn't make me uncomfortable. It was...I'm glad I could be there for you, it was...nice." As he says this, he realises his face is flushing, and this annoys him. Yamato Ishida does not blush. Girls swoon over him, girls worship him, he can have whichever one he wants, but...this boy...somehow...
"Look, Ken," he doesn't mean for the annoyance to creep into his voice, but it does. "You have to stop dwelling, ok? We've all been touched by the darkness, tempted by it, teased by it, but we made it out, alright?"
Ken opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. He just stares as Yamato continues his rant.
"You know why we made it? Because we had each other, we had our friends who wouldn't let us down and who believed in us and all that corny shit! But it's not shit, it's real and you have to..."
He stops as he notices Ken's expression.
"I'm sorry. Look..."
Yamato's voice shakes, so does his hand as he slowly lifts it and places it on top of Ken's.
"I just mean to say, you have that too."
Ken frowns and opens his mouth to protest, but Yamato brings his other hand up and places it on his lips, silencing him.
"How many times do we have to say it? How many times does Daisuke have to drum it into you? He doesn't hang around with you because he feels sorry for you, he hangs around because you're his best friend, get it? They didn't come to your party because they felt obligated, they came because they love you, ok?"
Yamato hesitates and shuts his eyes momentarily before losing himself again in Ken's gaze, which is now brimming with tears that threaten to spill at the slightest movement.
"I, we, I mean...I love you."
This time it isn't Yamato's hand that halts Ken's reply, but his lips, as they press softly against the other boy's. Feeling no resistance from Ken, Yamato's hand moves up to cup the back of his head, tilting it to deepen the kiss, and this movement is enough to send Ken's unshed tears spilling down his face.
Yamato feels the warm wetness on his own face and tastes the salty rivers as they stream down to where their lips meet. Concerned, he pulls back and looks at Ken, his silent gaze an unspoken question as he smooths away the other boy's tears tenderly with his thumb.
Ken looks shocked, but also pained, as if he trying to hold something very big in. He fails, and Yamato moves to wrap the boy up in his arms as he begins to sob loudly and heartbreakingly.
"Yama..." Ken chokes out. "I...I know..."
After a few minutes, Ken is able to speak properly, although he keeps his head where it is, resting against Yamato's chest.
"I know you, I mean, everyone, cares about me. I've known for a long time but it scares me. It scares me so much."
He raises his head and looks up at the older boy.
"The last person I was close to...Osamu..."
His voice starts to shake again, and Yamato hugs him tighter.
"I know Ken, I know. Baby, sssh."
He strokes Ken's hair absently, murmuring to him until he calms down again. This time it is Yamato who pulls away.
"We aren't going anywhere, ok? I promise. At least, I promise, I'm not. I couldn't leave you. I meant what I said."
He moves down and slowly kisses Ken again, trying to put everything he feels and means and says into it, trying to make Ken understand. This time, after a moment, Ken responds, wrapping his arms around Yamato's neck to bring them closer, parting his lips to let the older boy taste him properly. Ken tastes of tears and tenderness and cold rain and warm summer wind, and Yamato drinks in as much of him as he can before the other boy pulls away.
"I can't, I haven't, Yama...I haven't loved anyone for a long time. I don't know if I can..."
"I can help you. Ken, I know it's hard for you, to feel, to be able to let someone else in, but I know you can. One day, you'll be able to. And I'd like that someone to be me."
Yamato smiles down at Ken as he wipes away the last of his tears. Somewhere in the background he is vaguely aware of Gabumon and Wormmon calling to them to hurry up. Ken smiles back.
"I'd like that, too."
Yamato places one last quick kiss on Ken's lips before pulling away.
"It's a deal." He holds out his hand towards Ken and nods in the direction of their partners.
"Now, let's get this pesky saving the world business out of the way so we can get back to the important stuff."
Ken's laughter is carried up by the wind, and whirls around them as they run to join the others. Yamato thinks that he has never heard anything sweeter in his whole life, and probably never will.
Author's Note: This story is basically an AU version of Season 2, Episode 43 (World Tour, Part 3). AU in this case means some parts of the story will be different, it also means that Yamato and Sora never got together before this (and never will, dammit!)
It's where Yamato and Ken are sent to Mexico together and from the moment I started watching it, I knew it was just begging to be slashed. Come on, the two prettiest boys, alone together, in Mexico, in a darkened corridor? Join the dots. I've used some of the original dialogue and events from the English dubbed version, but I've kept the Japanese names cos they're prettier.
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Ruins
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They crouch in the bushes, watching the guards march back and forth in front of the Mayan ruins, and Yamato shifts uneasily, impatiently. He is not usually easily agitated or rash, but the whole world could be at stake here.
"Where are the Mexican digi-destined? I thought they were supposed to meet us!" he whispers angrily, "what chance do we have with four of us to that many of them?"
"Nobody said it would be easy."
Ken's usually clear violet eyes are a stormy grey in the faint moonlight, and as he stares at them, Yamato's anger fades to a strange, twisting, almost guilty feeling that lodges itself somewhere in his stomach.
"That's true."
Yamato knows that Ken isn't just talking about their mission. Yamato knows that for Ken, nothing is ever easy.
He also knows the he isn't the only one who realises this. As they sneak forward and Ken tries to convince the guard to let them inside, Yamato sees how Wormmon never leaves Ken's side. How, while Gabumon eagerly explores his new surroundings, sniffing and pawing here and there, Wormmon's eyes remain fixed on his beloved friend, as if to make sure that Ken is still really there.
"Now get out of here, go home!"
Yamato is jolted back to the task at hand as the guard dismisses them with a wave of his hand, refusing them entry into the ruins. He turns to Ken as they walk away, intending to ask him what he thinks they should do next, but is stopped by the sudden flash of hot anger in the younger boy's eyes. It is not an annoyed sort of anger, the kind Yamato was feeling before, but white-hot and dangerous. It is a look Yamato has seen in Ken's eyes before, but he doesn't mention it, and neither, he notices, does Wormmon, although the Digimon looks slightly worried.
Yamato often wonders about Wormmon. He wonders, if his best friend were to ever turn into a heartless, sadistic bastard who treated Yamato like a piece of dirt that he'd found on the bottom of his shoe, would he put up with it? If Taichi, or Takeru, or any of his friends, if one of them had chosen Ken's path, Yamato wonders if he would have loved them enough, had enough faith in them, to not give up on them.
And afterwards, would he have had the strength and heart to forgive them for everything that had happened? Yamato remembers seeing Wormmon in the Digital World when the Kaiser was in control, the harsh red whip marks on his back, the almost constant tears in his eyes, the bite of Ken's voice as he constantly humiliated the one thing in the whole world that loved him. Yamato remembers this, and he doesn't think that he can answer his own questions. He hopes that he won't ever have to.
"Well, so much for sneaking in the back door, huh?"
He gives Ken a small smile, and to his surprise, the boy smiles back, his gaze once again calm.
"Good thing I'm here, eh?"
Startled, they both turn to see Gennai, or someone that looks exactly like him, walking towards them.
"Ah, my manners! I am José, Gennai's Mexican counterpart."
"Great timing." Yamato is genuinely relieved, both at the arrival of someone who can help them get in, but also at the welcome distraction from the dark thoughts he has been having.
As Jose distracts the guards, Ken spots the opportunity for the four of them to get inside. He grabs Yamato by the arm, and with an inclination of his head, begins running toward the entrance, dragging the other boy with him.
Safely inside, they stop, leaning against the dank stone walls, panting. Yamato notices a light pressure on his wrist, and looks down to see that Ken's hand is still wrapped around it. They look at each other, and Yamato sees a strange kind of light dancing in Ken's eyes. He assumes this is a result of their escape from the guards. Ken has always looked more alive when he has been running, or playing soccer, as if it is a way for him to get away from the darkness and sadness that haunt his life, if only for a few seconds.
Ken suddenly pushes away from the wall, letting go of Yamato, and laughs, pointing behind them. Yamato turns to see Wormmon and Gabumon burst through the door and crash into a tangled heap on the floor. Gabumon is laughing too, as Wormmon looks sheepish.
"Sorry, Ken, I didn't see you leave. We were watching Jose doing his martial arts and then I realised you'd gone so we ran and..."
"We got a little carried away." Gabumon explains, smiling up his partner.
Yamato smiles back, feeling a sudden burst of gladness at having his Digimon by his side again.
"That's ok, guys, but come on, we should get going."
****
The stone corridor is very dark and Yamato can hardly see a thing. He can hear the click-clack of Wormmon's scuttling on the hard floor, and, softer, but closer, Ken's light breathing somewhere in front of him. The younger boy breathes the way he talks, softly and evenly, as if he is measuring each one before he lets it out.
"I read somewhere that there is an ancient king buried in these ruins."
Yamato has gotten so wrapped up in listening to Ken breathe, that when the boy finally speaks, he is taken aback.
"Oh, uh, yeh..."
Of course, Ken knows things like this. Yamato wonders sometimes if that is the reason Ken finds it so hard to let other people in. Maybe he is already too filled up with knowledge and facts to allow something as trivial as love or friendship squeeze its way inside.
"...um, maybe we'll see his ghost! Wouldn't that be cool?"
Yamato winces at the lameness of his statement, but Wormmon suddenly adds to the discussion with a huge yell.
"Waaaaah!"
Ken stops so quickly that Yamato runs into him, their bodies crashing into each other. This is the first time they have really ever been in contact, and Yamato notices that, even though Ken looks small and fragile, he actually feels quite solid. There is a surprising strength in his body, and rather than being cold, like his pale skin suggests, he is quite warm...
"Calm down, he's just kidding!"
At the sound of Ken's voice, Yamato steps back quickly, so quickly that he bangs his shoulder into the slimy wall.
"Ok, that is a little spooky."
Yamato does not have time to dwell on why he is suddenly so interested in what Ken's body feels like, as he sees the ugly green face painted on the wall in front of them. It stares back at them, the portrait of some ancient god, painted by an ancient people, god knows how long ago. He nods in agreement, forgetting that Ken probably can't see him in the darkness.
"I'm not afraid of ghosts..." Wormmon's voice trails off as he moves ahead. Yamato moves to walk forward too, but once again bumps into something soft and warm. Ken is still standing, looking at the face on the wall. This time Yamato doesn't move away.
"You know, everyone says ancient ruins like this are so beautiful, but then they have something like this here."
Ken pauses, but Yamato stays silent. Now they are this close again, he can smell the other boy's hair as it tickles his nose, soft and sweet and fresh like rainwater.
"They talk about the past like it's some wonderful, brilliant thing. But it's not always. Sometimes it's ugly, sometimes..."
This time Ken stops mid-sentence, and he sounds so lost that Yamato feels compelled to speak, only he doesn't know what to say. He reaches his arm up awkwardly and puts his hand on the smaller boy's shoulder.
"Ken..."
He doesn't know whether to feel annoyed or relieved at Wormmon's interruption, as the Digimon suddenly reappears with two lights stuck in his headband. The glow sticks light up the corridor, and everyone in it, and Yamato sees that Ken has his eyes closed tight, as if he has been thinking about something painful, or maybe even wishing hard for something. He wonders how long Ken's eyes have been closed like that.
"Sometimes I'm so smart it scares me."
Wormmon's proud announcement seems to shake Ken out of his spell, and his eyes snap open. As their partners tease each other, the eyes of the two boys meet, deep violet battling with shocking blue, for some sort of comprehension or understanding of what has just passed between them.
"Sometimes you scare me too, but I think it's for a different reason."
"Gabumon!"
Yamato reluctantly pulls away from Ken to chide his friend.
"Sorry."
"He may be a goofy little glow-worm, but that light was a great idea."
He smiles at Wormmon, who nods knowingly.
"Geniuses are always misunderstood," the insect Digimon informs him as they begin to move down the corridor once more.
"You're not wrong." Yamato agrees softly, but Ken hears him and smiles. They fall into step together and Yamato tries to ignore the tingle he feels as their arms lightly brush each other.
The peace is suddenly broken as Wormmon rounds the next corner and collides head on with a Gotsumon who is coming from the other direction. A young girl steps out from behind them, at first eyeing them suspiciously, but then grinning broadly as she spots Ken.
"Buenos nochez!"
"Hi - uh, I mean, Buenos nochez. You must be one of the Mexican Digi- Destined."
Yamato notes that Ken's friendly voice holds no trace of the pain that was present only a short time before. He wonders at how Ken is able to do this, how many times he has seemed quite happy when it has really been an act, when he has really been hiding his feelings deep inside.
"Yes, my name is Rosa. You're really cute - now I'm double-glad I sneaked out of the house to help you!"
Yamato watches with amusement as Rosa gushes over Ken, and smiles at how patient Ken is with her. This time as they walk, he hangs back a little, observing the other boy from a distance. He realises that this is the first time he has seen Ken in normal clothes, and the look suits him. The loose, collared shirt is a nice change from the harsh, bright Kaiser's uniform, or Ken's usual white 'boy genius' outfit that makes him look stiff and uncomfortable. Yamato thinks that even Ken's soccer uniform, no matter how well he plays, doesn't suit him. It still marks Ken as the Boy Wonder that everyone worships rather than, well, this boy here. This boy who is just Ken, who is laughing and joking with Rosa, who is sweet enough to hold her hand in the dark corridor, who is...
What, exactly? Yamato struggles to remember when he started analysing the other boy like this. When he started thinking about what Ken looks like in certain clothes, or how his eyes changed from the darkest purple when he was upset, to a clear, sparkling amethyst when he laughed.
"You're a rude little girl!"
Yamato is once again jolted out of his thoughts by Wormmon's scandalised voice.
"I'm what?"
Rosa sounds just as angry as the Digimon, and Yamato smiles as he sees Ken struggling not to laugh at the two fighting over him. Ken looks at him pleadingly, and Yamato nods.
"Calm down guys, there's no need for an international incident here." He looks at Ken slyly and winks before adding, "There's enough of Ken to go around!"
Ken stares at him for a second before smirking and raising his eyebrows. Rosa ignores Yamato and latches back onto Ken.
"So Ken, do you have a girlfriend? If you don't, maybe you could move here! Then I could be your girlfriend! Don't you think I'm cute?"
Ken continues to smirk at Yamato as he replies. "No, no girlfriend." He slowly and deliberately winks back at Yamato before Rosa pulls him forward and their gaze is broken.
Yamato decides he has done enough analysing for today, so he does not dwell on the warm sensation that seems to trickle down his spine after this exchange.
****
"Stingmon, these ruins are the last will and testament of the Mayans. Try and leave them in one piece."
From the other side of the battle, Yamato laughs silently at Ken's quip. For such a serious boy, he sometimes surprises the others with his wit. But...Yamato remembers, the Digimon Kaiser, although evil, was similarly witty. The thought disturbs him for a moment, as he recalls Ken's earlier flash of anger. He wonders if it will ever stop, if Ken will ever be able to let go of who he was. An even scarier thought hits him - does Ken want to let go? Is there some part of him that remembers the power and the destruction and enjoys it?
"Send them back, Ken!"
Jose's voice rings out through the sounds of the snarling Minotaurumon and Dokugumon. As the huge monsters are sucked back into the Digiport, Yamato shakes the thoughts from his head. Ken couldn't feel that way and still be here, fighting beside him, smiling at him that way, winking at him like that...
'What the hell is going on here?'
Yamato turns to Ken, hoping to maybe find an answer, but is stunned at the sight of Ken holding the sleeping, battle-weary Rosa in his arms. The former Kaiser looks at her with an expression of such tenderness that Yamato cannot deny what he has been feeling all day. Oh hell, what he's known ever since he met Ken.
The boy is beautiful.
Yamato suddenly finds himself trapped by intense violet eyes as Ken raises his head to look at him. Ken's expression changes as he stares, from a kind of dawning comprehension, to something else, something unfathomable. He stands up quickly with the girl still in his arms, as their Digimon partners join them.
"We'd better get her home to her parents." Yamato breaks the awkward silence and starts walking away briskly, trying not to look at the other boy at all. Ken stares after him for a moment, then slowly moves forward, struggling to understand what is happening to them.
They do not speak again until it is almost time to leave. Wormmon and Gabumon run off to explore amongst the fallen stones one last time, but not before Wormmon leaves Yamato with a look that is easy to understand. 'Look after him while I'm not here.'
Yamato is fairly certain that even if he tried, it would be impossible for him to not look after Ken. In fact he is very sure that if something were to happen to Ken, Wormmon might not be the only one who was inconsolable.
"Weird day, huh?"
Yamato notices that Ken sounds a little uncertain, like he didn't really mean to say this, he meant to say something else, but this popped out instead.
"Yeh."
He avoids looking at Ken, fiddling with a thread on his sleeve.
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry for getting all intense in there before, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just sometimes..."
Yamato can't stand it anymore, and he stares right into Ken's eyes.
"You didn't make me uncomfortable. It was...I'm glad I could be there for you, it was...nice." As he says this, he realises his face is flushing, and this annoys him. Yamato Ishida does not blush. Girls swoon over him, girls worship him, he can have whichever one he wants, but...this boy...somehow...
"Look, Ken," he doesn't mean for the annoyance to creep into his voice, but it does. "You have to stop dwelling, ok? We've all been touched by the darkness, tempted by it, teased by it, but we made it out, alright?"
Ken opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. He just stares as Yamato continues his rant.
"You know why we made it? Because we had each other, we had our friends who wouldn't let us down and who believed in us and all that corny shit! But it's not shit, it's real and you have to..."
He stops as he notices Ken's expression.
"I'm sorry. Look..."
Yamato's voice shakes, so does his hand as he slowly lifts it and places it on top of Ken's.
"I just mean to say, you have that too."
Ken frowns and opens his mouth to protest, but Yamato brings his other hand up and places it on his lips, silencing him.
"How many times do we have to say it? How many times does Daisuke have to drum it into you? He doesn't hang around with you because he feels sorry for you, he hangs around because you're his best friend, get it? They didn't come to your party because they felt obligated, they came because they love you, ok?"
Yamato hesitates and shuts his eyes momentarily before losing himself again in Ken's gaze, which is now brimming with tears that threaten to spill at the slightest movement.
"I, we, I mean...I love you."
This time it isn't Yamato's hand that halts Ken's reply, but his lips, as they press softly against the other boy's. Feeling no resistance from Ken, Yamato's hand moves up to cup the back of his head, tilting it to deepen the kiss, and this movement is enough to send Ken's unshed tears spilling down his face.
Yamato feels the warm wetness on his own face and tastes the salty rivers as they stream down to where their lips meet. Concerned, he pulls back and looks at Ken, his silent gaze an unspoken question as he smooths away the other boy's tears tenderly with his thumb.
Ken looks shocked, but also pained, as if he trying to hold something very big in. He fails, and Yamato moves to wrap the boy up in his arms as he begins to sob loudly and heartbreakingly.
"Yama..." Ken chokes out. "I...I know..."
After a few minutes, Ken is able to speak properly, although he keeps his head where it is, resting against Yamato's chest.
"I know you, I mean, everyone, cares about me. I've known for a long time but it scares me. It scares me so much."
He raises his head and looks up at the older boy.
"The last person I was close to...Osamu..."
His voice starts to shake again, and Yamato hugs him tighter.
"I know Ken, I know. Baby, sssh."
He strokes Ken's hair absently, murmuring to him until he calms down again. This time it is Yamato who pulls away.
"We aren't going anywhere, ok? I promise. At least, I promise, I'm not. I couldn't leave you. I meant what I said."
He moves down and slowly kisses Ken again, trying to put everything he feels and means and says into it, trying to make Ken understand. This time, after a moment, Ken responds, wrapping his arms around Yamato's neck to bring them closer, parting his lips to let the older boy taste him properly. Ken tastes of tears and tenderness and cold rain and warm summer wind, and Yamato drinks in as much of him as he can before the other boy pulls away.
"I can't, I haven't, Yama...I haven't loved anyone for a long time. I don't know if I can..."
"I can help you. Ken, I know it's hard for you, to feel, to be able to let someone else in, but I know you can. One day, you'll be able to. And I'd like that someone to be me."
Yamato smiles down at Ken as he wipes away the last of his tears. Somewhere in the background he is vaguely aware of Gabumon and Wormmon calling to them to hurry up. Ken smiles back.
"I'd like that, too."
Yamato places one last quick kiss on Ken's lips before pulling away.
"It's a deal." He holds out his hand towards Ken and nods in the direction of their partners.
"Now, let's get this pesky saving the world business out of the way so we can get back to the important stuff."
Ken's laughter is carried up by the wind, and whirls around them as they run to join the others. Yamato thinks that he has never heard anything sweeter in his whole life, and probably never will.