"Okay… that's enough for today."
A collective sigh echoed through the rehearsal space, and the majority of the Bellas grabbed their things, some walking outside together while others left by themselves. Beca almost left with the rest of them, but she decided to hang back, distracted by Aubrey's behavior. She had almost been nonexistent during rehearsal, allowing Chloe to take the reins through most of it.
Beca wanted to be a good friend, but she wasn't even sure if Aubrey considered them as such. She was more like the blonde's secret admirer so perhaps she didn't have any right to be concerned. If it meant seeing the confident, fiery Aubrey they all knew again, Beca would do anything, even if it wasn't her place to.
With a deep breath, Beca took a few strides forward, pausing as she observed Chloe walking up to Aubrey's side. The redhead gently rubbed Aubrey's back and whispered something in her ear just before she turned to leave. Chloe didn't say anything or even make eye contact with Beca like she normally would, looking distracted by something as she walked past. Beca shrugged to herself and took a couple quiet steps closer to the blonde and for a second she could have sworn she heard sobbing. Beca wanted to laugh it off, thinking it's just Aubrey being Aubrey and that she was worrying over nothing, that Aubrey was fine. She knew better, however—Aubrey was more complicated than that.
"Aubrey…?" Beca was surprised at how frail her voice sounded.
"Not now, please!" Aubrey didn't turn around, and Beca didn't press further. Taking a few steps back, she watched the blonde for a second or two before deciding to do the smart thing and leave instead of calling to her again. Whatever it was, Aubrey needed space and for now Beca would grant her that. She took one last look at the blonde as she walked out of the room and decided she would try again next time.
It happened again a few days later. Rehearsal wasn't like normal and this time Beca was still hoping to get an explanation. She found it odd that no one else but Chloe seemed to notice Aubrey's markedly changed behavior. Perhaps everyone else was enjoying these more relaxed rehearsals and didn't want to question it. With a brief sigh, Beca marched towards Chloe after nearly everyone else had left, meeting her eyes before speaking in a hushed tone.
"Chloe, what's going on?" Beca asked, nodding her head in Aubrey's direction. The smile faded from Chloe's lips as she glanced in Aubrey's direction before giving Beca a curious look.
"You're worried about Aubrey?"
"Of course I am!" Chloe raised her eyebrows in surprise and Beca scratched the back of her head, suddenly nervous. "Is that weird?"
"N-no! It's just, um…" Chloe took a deep breath, studying the brunette for a few seconds before speaking again, "I don't think it'd be right for me to tell you. If you want to ask her yourself, I think she's doing slightly better today. But don't get too hurt if she brushes you off. Maybe I should stay and make sure she doesn't get upset—"
"No, no, it's okay," Beca waved her hands in front of herself. "I'll be nice."
Chloe regarded Beca with a smile. "I know. Give her a hug for me, okay?" She turned on her heel and Beca watched her go.
"But I don't… do hugs…" she mumbled, looking back in Aubrey's direction. Her back was turned to her just like the other day, and as Beca inched closer she hoped this would turn out differently than her previous disastrous attempt.
"Hey, Aubrey…?" Beca sounded more confident this time, but she reached up to twirl a few strands of dark brown hair around her finger as she waited for Aubrey's response.
"What, Beca?" Aubrey turned around, quickly wiping away tears as she stared the brunette down.
"Um…" Beca stared at Aubrey, slowly beginning to lose whatever courage she had amassed before getting Aubrey's attention. "Look, I don't mean to barge in on anything, but I've been… worried about you. Do you want to talk… about whatever is going on?"
Aubrey sighed and Beca started to backpedal. "I mean, I can just go, I'm sorry…"
Something seemed to click in Aubrey's mind and she shook her head, gesturing for Beca to move closer to her. "No, it's fine. I should talk, get things off my chest. Thanks for… worrying, I guess." Beca walked over to Aubrey's side and observed as she took a seat, taking a few deep, concentrated breaths before speaking again. "I have to say, out of all the people I know, I didn't think you would be the one I'd end up talking to about anything remotely personal."
"Well, despite how it may seem at any other time of the day, I do… care about you, Aubrey… I know I'm not Chloe but I want you to know that I'm here for you if you need me, okay?"
Aubrey paused, repeating what Beca said in her head, letting her words linger for a moment. She was finding it hard to believe Beca cared, but why? Beca was here, wasn't she? That must've meant she thought of her as more than just the uptight leader of a college acapella group. It was… nice to think that Beca approved of her, but that wasn't the issue at present. Aubrey felt herself tearing up at the thought of talking about what had been bothering her for days now, but she took one shy glance at Beca's concerned expression and knew that it would be okay.
"My… dad," Aubrey spoke carefully, trying to keep her voice from cracking, "He, um… he passed away… recently…"
Beca's eyes widened and she remained rooted to the spot where she stood. "Aubrey, that's—"
"I don't want anyone's pity… that's why I tried keeping it to myself. I'll admit that it hurts though, it hurts a lot more than I expected it to."
"Well yeah, he was your dad," Beca said, imagining the pain Aubrey must have been feeling. "I would be devastated if I was in your place… were you guys close?"
"No," Aubrey whispered, wiping away tears before slowly looking up at Beca, "but I respected him and his work ethic. I wanted to emulate that. He was tough and he got things done. I wanted to get things done too, I wanted to make him proud. I don't know if I ever did…"
Without thinking, Beca gently touched Aubrey's shoulder. She felt the blonde tense up at the contact and let out a little sob, but she didn't push her away, and Beca didn't move.
"Maybe I shouldn't say anything, but I want to say something inspiring, I want to be able to tell you that he was proud of you… I can't say any of those things and still act like I'm being honest with you, 'cause I didn't know him. But I know you've done the Bellas proud. You work so hard for us and everyone sees it. I think that if he saw that, if he knew all about your dedication to this group and to everything that you do, he'd be proud to say you're his daughter."
Aubrey let a few more tears run down her face before she straightened up and gently wiped the remnants away. "You always know the right thing to say, don't you?"
"Huh? I… I don't know about that…" Beca laughed nervously, "I wouldn't say those things if they weren't true though."
Aubrey nodded and leaned slightly into Beca's touch, surprised at how comforted she felt. "My dad… he always said 'if you can't stand on your own two feet, you'll never make it to the finish line.' I always thought he meant that I couldn't let myself depend on other people—that ultimately I have to depend on myself and myself alone, but…" Aubrey tried hiding a smile as Beca shrugged in response, "I have you… I mean I have all of you! We all have each other to lean on when things don't work out and I should have seen that sooner."
"No reason you can't start now," Beca said. She and Aubrey looked each other over. They didn't say anything and they didn't need to. Aubrey was still hurting and Beca could see it, but she could also just make out a bit of hope or some kind of new understanding of things. They were both beginning to feel a little too at ease and then it hit Beca—this was the first time she and Aubrey had been this calm around each other since they met. Even though they didn't say it, both girls were sure they understood each other slightly better. It was just a shame they had to bond over something so sad.
A shrill ringing suddenly interrupted the quiet, startling both of them. Aubrey sighed like she knew exactly what it was and reached for her bag, pulling out her cell phone and touching the screen a few times to silence it.
"I have a thesis meeting in ten minutes, I guess I should go."
Sheesh, she would have her schedule programmed into her phone, Beca thought with a little smile on her face. "Um, okay. I-I mean, right, of course. Hey, I—"
"Beca, thank you," Aubrey said, glancing at the brunette as she finished gathering up her things. "I'm going to work harder. For him, for you, and for the Bellas. Thank you... for this."
All of a sudden Beca found herself wrapped in a warm embrace. Aubrey hugged her quickly, pulling her body away only a couple seconds after they touched, but the feeling lingered on Beca's skin. She wanted to ask the blonde to do that again, to let her smell the scent of whatever shampoo she used and just be that close for more than two seconds, but she kept her mouth shut.
Aubrey smiled shyly—something Beca never thought she would see—and walked backwards toward the exit so that she could keep her eyes on the brunette. "See you tomorrow?"
Beca nodded and Aubrey waved goodbye, turning around and walking briskly out of the room. She watched her go and smiled to herself as she reached for her own belongings, waiting a minute before following the path Aubrey took to leave.
That afternoon Beca decided that maybe hugs weren't so bad after all.