Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or its characters. I also do not make any sort of profit through this fic, I merely used a couple characters to write out this insane sort of drabble that magically appeared in my head.
Warning: Rated M for mentions of rape, death, mentions of gore and quite a bit of angst. I apologize to anyone who feels this is offensive, but the truth of the matter is that rape is a part of our everyday world and is something that should make you feel gross.
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By the way, I'm sorry.
Lessons
Deserving
There are lessons that we must all learn in life.
One of the most painful ones being that any one of us could face the humiliation and pain of being raped.
Rape.
It is a vile word; one that fills the mind with images and feelings better left in the darkest of undiscovered nightmares.
And yet, everyday...every moment...rape, rape, rape.
It happens all the time in this world that we call civilized.
I let myself hear the whimpers, taste the screams, feel the tears run down my cheeks.
A Victim.
Victims; dirtied for life, their souls viciously attacked and sometimes destroyed.
And those who act out these crimes?
What can you possibly do to such heinous offenders?
Prison?
A slap to the wrist.
Death?
Outlawed, evil and barbaric.
But would it really be so bad? So bad to watch them suffer and scream and claw out for mercy?
Hell, why not let them go to prison, get raped themselves and then die...?
To die in such a way that would leave any other would-be rapist pissing their pants.
To castrate the fucker before his death; to chop up their dick and feed it to them-the way they have forced others to choke upon it?
Would it be so wrong?
Is it not fair, is it not...justice?
The sweet justice I have heard spoken of by so many who secretly work against it?
I hear about how this world of ours in rotting, everyday I see the filth and feel the contamination rising up from the gutters and plunging into the mindless crowds of droning peoples; who are too stupid or ignorant to stop the tainting of innocence.
To prevent the monsters from becoming real...and the children, God forgive me for my sins, but...
I did this for them, for them!
For them and for all the rest who have been deceived...who have trusted those who should never have betrayed them.
Victims.
Monsters...
They walk amongst us, these disgusting lowlifes, who care nothing for purity.
They just take and take and take and in this society we feel hellbent on giving to those who deserve it the least.
Money, care and forgiveness given to those who should rot in a hole rather than rot the world we live in.
Rape.
Molestation.
Child abuse.
Fucking paedophiles.
Raping kids, little kids...babies and toddlers...little boys and girls who just want to play and learn and love.
Their eyes shining in one moment and dulled in the next...lifeless little corpses, haunted expressions, dressed up so prettily and faking to the world, shame...such shame carried within, heavy, such a burden.
Sometimes they can't even speak yet, walk or defend themselves...and to see what they do to them, I feel the sting in my heart, the hurt in my soul, bile in my throat...
And then, they even grow up and do it to others...become the corrupt criminals they have always fought against.
A vicious circle, the cycle of never-ending abuse...he claimed he couldn't stop it.
Hypocrites, both of them...all of them.
Monsters.
Victims.
If I could just save all of them, if I had the means...
But I do. I have the means and have been given the will, forcefully.
I remember the day a miracle-in the form of a black notebook-fell into my hands.
I didn't realize that one day I'd come to need that weapon.
In my still-innocent hands, it was the tool to save the world.
Now it is the tool to avenge those who have been ruined.
Given to me for a reason, to teach those who have become monsters a lesson.
Who am I to stop the will of God?
Who am I to say no to the call for justice?
I answer that call every time I write down a name; rapist, killer, paedophile, all of them.
One-by-one, I feel my hands grow bloodier and the world grow brighter.
The weight on my shoulders is heavy; heavier by the letter, but the countless victims faces grow clearer.
They venture outside now that Kira has vanquished the monsters.
While I sit inside and feel my life crumbling to bits around me...
Their prayers finally answered by the hand of God.
If only we could all be so lucky...
I wish that my family and friends could only see the good that I am doing now.
I know some of them get it, the girl at school who had been attacked and wasn't heard of again, for so many months...found out and shopping with her friends. Only weeks after I had demolished her rapist in the most violent of ways I could think of while he sat in his five-year prison term.
FIVE-YEARS!
Five years?
Really?
In the newspaper photo she had looked so-so alive, so cleansed, so free...
I smirk as L cock's his head at my happy expression, feeling a slight victory at his confusion for my smile finally being back in place. What do I have to smile about? His curious glance and cold black eyes making me shudder. Making me remember. His scrutiny is almost painful...
Rape.
A word that would usually make my heart feel sick and heavy with images I wish I had only ever concocted, but are oh-so-real...it suddenly makes me feel a bit lighter.
I couldn't rescue these victims, but I can send their attackers to the deepest depths of hell in this realm and in the next.
I see the room fall into planned chaos as the creator of my own personal monster is the first to fall.
Deserving.
Monsters.
Victims.
Even if I am doomed to the nothingness in my next life, I could care less...for the nothingness will be a haven now that my life has been destroyed by the hands of another, one that I should've been able to trust...
So when he drops that spoon from his deceptively gentle hands, as his eyes open wide in terror and he finally slumps over dead...I feel no guilt, no remorse...even as the blood on my hands grows thicker.
Yes.
And in this way...I am free.
I am clean.
I am alive.
Lesson learned.
Please tell me what you think. I would really appreciate critical reviews, what you thought of my POV, the plot of the story, how it all progressed and flowed- anything and everything. I welcome your thoughts and criticisms...just so you know, I have no beta, though I would probably like one...so tell me how I did, I will attempt to answer all reviews and questions.
-Sinner