But Maybe Next Year Part 1
Grasping his bedsheets, Mitsuyoshi gasped as he sat straight up. Another nightmare. Slowly loosening his grip on the sheets, he inhaled deeply. That was the fifth one this week. His cigarettes wouldn't last him much longer if these nightmares persisted. Sighing, he slid out of bed and lit one up.
Mitsuyoshi opened the window and leaned out. Studying the full moon with great intensity, he wondered how Natsume-chan was doing. Her visits had become less frequent over the past three years to the point where they had stopped entirely. Was it his fault? Had he become too overbearing on the rare occasions that she would bring someone by on her even rarer visits?
He let out a breath of smoke into the night breeze. The billows of smoke swirled out into the stars. Was it really that sad that he hadn't seen anyone else after their last intimate encounter? Natsume-chan had obviously moved on with her life and he realized that he should've a long time ago. Running a steady hand through his hair, he let out another sigh. "You're so pathetic"
Flicking out the stub of his cigarette, he shut the window and fell back into bed. He had to see her if he wanted these nightmares to end.
"Micchan! Where were you this morning? I had to wait outside until noon today"
"We don't open until later anyways Haru, this is even early for me" he replied wearily rubbing his face.
"You have a girl over last night?" he smirked.
"Don't be dumb"
Mitsuyoshi then watched him go on and on about how excited he was to give Shizuku her first goldfish during one of the upcoming cherry blossom festivals. He smirked enviously at Haru's carefree smile and hopeless romantic persona. If only he could've been that blithe when he was younger. He just might've had a family and a plentifully happy home. Not that he ever regretting caring for his cousin. Scoffing at his momentary midlife crisis, he poured himself a cup of tea and settled himself behind the counter of the store.
Haru paused as he stared at him for a moment.
"You're not still thinking about Natsume are you?"
"No! - No, of course not"
Haru shrugged at Micchan's strange behavior and proceeded into the batting cage. It was going to be a long week if Micchan stayed in this abnormally disgruntled state.
After the seventh nightmare he finally decided he'd had enough. Early next morning he pulled on a black woolen sweater along with his faded pants and- as usual- his sunglasses. He nearly smiled as he recalled Asako's adorably reassuring voice telling him that he looked great no matter what he wore.
She was definitely a peculiar girl for such a conventional man to favor. There were countless days where he would wonder what she saw in an incredibly ordinary being such as himself. Those were the days that generally led to Haru making fun of him for acting like such a pensive old man. Still, he couldn't deny the fact that his mind was full of obscure thoughts lately.
He had asked Haru to take care of the game center while he took the day off. Surprisingly, he had been in a relenting mood and had agreed almost instantly if only to see his cousin's troubles dispelled from the atmosphere.
Letting himself out the front doors- Mitsuyoshi allowed the brusque wind push him down the street. It pushed him closer and closer to the center of city. Closer and closer to her.
Glancing down at his cellphone, he relayed the address to himself. This was undoubtedly the place. Asako had offered to give him a tour of her workplace a while ago. He had decline on account of how unprofessional he would seem next to her. At least now that she was the manager of some large social network. Besides, he figured she wouldn't truly be comfortable showing him off at work. But now- now it was him who needed to see her. If seeing her meant that he could merely mollify the pit in his stomach that awoke him every night to stoke the fiery nightmares in his mind.
Walking into the sleek lobby of the high rise, Mitsuyoshi instantly felt out of place. Why was he here? Second thoughts were giving him horrible images of everything that could possibly go wrong.
Shaking the hesitations from his mind, he sauntered over to the front desk. The receptionist, a sophisticated looking girl, briskly typed away at a computer without giving him a second glance.
Clearing his throat he contemplated what he should say next. "Yes?" the girl seemed to despise his disorderly existence in her perfectly manicured world.
"I- uh…I was hoping that I might speak with Nat- Miss Natsume if possible. I'm a- an old friend"
The girl scoffed at him and began to mutter something about how Miss Natsume didn't keep panhandlers as trade associates. However, she gave in and picked up the phone to dial the intercom. "Yes- yes ma'am. I know it's a bad time but there's someone here who claims to be an old acquaintance of yours…are you still interested in seeing him?"
Mitsuyoshi could hear the silence on the other end of the line. It seemed to last longer than the receptionist was used to because she cleared her throat and repeated her question. Abruptly nodding at her response, the girl put down the phone "She'll see you immediately. Her office is on the fifteenth floor, last door on your left"
Shuffling towards the closing elevator, he jumped in just in time. Instantly, he was surrounded by men dressed in suits and ties and women in trim business suits. He was completely aware that he did not fit in at all now. By the time he reached the floor he was looking for he was all alone in the elevator. The doors opened at a speed that seemed intolerably sluggish.
Stepping out into the hallway, he could feel his heart pound rapidly. It pounded the same way it had every time he was startled awake by the night terrors that haunted him so infallibly. Fighting the urge to light a cigarette, he shoved his shaking hands into his front pockets. Who knew that he could get so worked up over a girl he didn't even realize that he cared for?
There he was, her office door. "Three- two- one…" he breathed as he pushed the door open.
Asako rushed over to the door to greet Micchan. It had felt like forever since her last short visit with him but she knew things had changed between them and the distant visits were required in order to avoid discomfort between the two of them. That wasn't to say that she hadn't missed their amusing discussions. On the other hand, she was more than willing to devote herself entirely to her work.
Mitsuyoshi let her lead him into her office and seat him in a comfortable red leather armchair. She made comments about how great it was to see him again. Her once petite frame had filled out stunningly and the little black dress she modeled definitely did it justice. Asako's once wavy hair had been tamed into a chignon that let a single tendril fall out, framing the right side of her face.
"So you've really moved up in the world Natsume-chan" he finally responded to her.
"Well…I guess you could say that. It definitely wasn't easy though"
"Oh- indeed. But then again, you were never one to give up" he mused almost ironically.
Asako brushed aside his comment and offered him tea. She'd promised herself that she was able to deflect any man's advances and continue on with her work. It was her top priority after all. The business had flourished the moment she had walked in through the doors and she had no intentions of reducing her expectations for this company.
"How has the batting center been doing? You're still keeping up with it I presume?"
Her polite speech took him by surprise. It felt as though everything she did was so much more refined and graceful as opposed to his uncouth banter and inept movements.
"Yes, the usual business. I don't have much else to do other than make sure Haru doesn't get into more trouble than he can handle"
Asako chuckled as she proceeded to take a careful sip of tea. A bright red lipstick stain remained where her lips had once been. Mitsuyoshi watched it bleed into the cup as he brushed aside a voice in his head that desired to see that mark on himself. He could almost hear her appalled voice quiver as she called him a sick old pervert.
Asako watched his distant expression land on her cup of tea. She couldn't help but smile as her gaze traces the edges of his jaw and the calming lines of his collarbones. Time didn't seem to do much to him excepting his exhausted face. It obviously lacked many hours of sleep but she didn't think it fair of her to ask why he didn't take better care of himself. "I've got an early leave this evening. Would you like to talk over some dinner? I'd love to hear some stories from your side of the neighborhood. It would be great to catch up Micchan" she added softly.
Standing up, Mitsuyoshi nods as he wonders whether she really has intentions of catching up with him or if she was just being gracious.
At around five in the evening Mitsuyoshi patiently waited outside a kaiseki ryori restaurant. Fidgeting with his shirt buttons, he peeked down at his phone to see if she had sent him any messages. To his dismay the cell phone remained message-less. Of course she had said that she would be there half past, but that didn't stop his anxiety. What he couldn't decipher was why he was so anxious. She had been the girl who had constantly needed his advice and protection. Now it seemed that the tables had obviously shifted. After lighting a cigarette he found a comfortable bench to wait at.
Less than five minutes had passed before he began to see Natsume-chan emerge from the crowd. She was wearing an even shorter black dress and her lips were a cherry red. It set her ginger waves of hair on fire in the street lights. Nothing had ever seemed as tangible as this girl's glamorous smile. As his heart rate sped up, he knew what she had become. No longer was she just his little pet. She was his femme fatale. His demise.
"Those things will kill you y'know" she grinned charmingly. He instantly stubbed it out as he rose to greet her. "You could've just waited inside the lobby. I made reservations after all." Her smile was bound to be his death sentence. It was as if her tantalizing eyes were playing some sick joke on the butterflies in his stomach.
He made up some excuse about how he didn't want her to get kicked out before she even arrived. "It's really- really great to see you again Natsume-chan" he smiled as he held the door open for her. Winking at him she led him inside and seated herself at a window booth. Mitsuyoshi sat down in the seat across from her. Paper lanterns floated from the ceiling like bubbles suspended from motion.
"My apologies for not stopping by the game center these past few months. The business life…well let's just say it's quite the lifestyle!"
"So you consider it a way of life now. Never thought I'd ever see you set work as your top priority. It appears to work well for you though. This new look of yours- does it bring in more clients?"
Asako's eyes widened and she coughed faintly. "Forgive me for answering your question with a question but- why are you here Micchan? I mean- why did you come to my office today for the first time in years?"
The smirk that had previous tugged at the corner of his mouth disappeared. Then he did something strange, he took off his sunglasses. Asako was struck by all the pain and lonliness that lurked behind those eyes. "Oh Micchan…" she whispered to herself as he looked away. The waiter walked up to the table and dutifully took their orders for a moment before walking on to the next table.
"I-I…I've been missing you. More than I should be missing a busy girl like you"
"You still insist on calling me a girl…it's not very…professional" She quipped suddenly losing her sympathy. Asako instantly chided herself for retorting in such an uncharacteristically cruel manner. Something was off and it was setting off their whole evening.
He was about to lose it when the waiter suddenly reappeared. As the plates of steaming food were placed in front of them, he struggled to rethink of a calmer response for the temptress that sat opposite of him. Why were they so cross with each other? This wasn't anything like their typical cute meetings where he could just pat her on the head and everything would be all better again.
"I'm truly sorry Natsume-chan. I shouldn't treat you so insignificantly because you've grown so much and worked so hard to become the woman you are. I really thought the last time we…well I thought I had accepted the fact that you were no longer a child. But…I guess I was wrong. And I think I know why now. I can't let go of the pictures of you that spin around in my mind infinitely"
"Micchan…no-"
"When I love someone…I love them all the way. And you made me love you that one night. I don't know how such a horrible beast like me could allow himself to love such a bewitching creature who shouldn't desire this hapless fate- but it's happened and I fear that there is no going back" Mitsuyoshi's hand was practically crushing his sunglasses and in his other hand he was clenching his fork with a death grip.
"Micchan… your words are tremendously kind but you misunderstand my intentions of seeing you"
His face went completely blank or rather- returned to his usual poker face expression. "You're engaged"