Greetings, citizens!
I just wanted to state some things before you all could start reading this.
This is an AU fanfiction through Elsie's point of view. I've been thinking about something like this for a long while and I actually think that my AU is… good, not meaning to brag.
There are some things that probably won't make much sense to you all, but I'll try to explain everything as the story progresses.
Stay tuned and reviews will always be welcome!
tidalutopia

-/-

I'm lost, so lost, but you are the constellations that guide me.

I've been living in this doomed land for 30 years. I've left Scotland when I was nothing but a young gal that wanted nothing more but to live amongst the beautiful people. None of that happened, obviously – it was really hard to make a living here. I did not know anything about the world. Ten quid on my pocket and of I went, I unleashed myself in the middle of nothing.

London isn't really that bad, though. It's colossal, yes, but yet beautiful. But I've suffered through the first ten years… A few brief jobs, a friend kind enough to let me live with her…

Poor Isobel. Single mother by my age, nurse, and she could barely be with her son. She had rent to pay and Matthew to feed, and she thanked the heavens above when I moved in with her – she didn't have to pay me for babysitting Matthew as long as I helped with the rent and all the other bills. Some thought it was irresponsible of her to lend her son in the hands of a unknown woman but those times were hard for her.

She married a good man three years ago, though. Scottish, dashing, and a successful doctor. He goes by the name of Richard Clarkson. She seems so happy now. Both of them. Even Matthew.

Matthew was always a good chap. So kind, so mature, so funny and wonderful. He always called me Aunt Elsie. I've seen him grow up, I've seen him having his first crush, I've seen him turning into a fantastic lawyer. He grew a lot on me, that kid.

Talking about lawyers, I've been working on a law firm for 18 years now. Carson & Co. And you will not even believe when I tell you that the man I work for is the most beautiful, yet strange and mysterious man I've ever met.

Charles Carson. Tall. Handsome. A smile that makes any woman swoon and fall down to the ground unconscious. Eyes that make you shiver. A deep voice that speaks right into your soul. I'm his secretary and I've been in that post ever since I stepped on that building. Sadly, we barely talk outside the work. The few things I know about him is that he is single, he lives alone, and that he hasn't much family left.

If only he noticed me. But I'm just a fool, really. How could he notice me? I'm not in his taste of women. Only younger men ever fancied me.

And how can I even love him? I'm a fool. I don't even know what love truly is.

It's time for me to get out of my bed. I've never been much of a sleeper, to be honest. 5 am, a warm shower, a black suit, a white shirt, a pair of heels and that necklace with a rose that I love so much. I had my breakfast, I watched the morning news. Bombs on Iraq. War everywhere. This world is crumbling down as we speak.

My phone has text from Isobel. She wrote that she misses me and that she'll be here by the end of the week. I couldn't help but to smile. Isobel worked like an ant. All day, all night. She got used to it and no one could blame her. Richard, that lovely man she married, was the only one to put some sense in her head. She'll die of so much work. I texted her back, saying that she better not be here tired because we were going to hit the night like the good old days.

7 am. I went out of my flat and took the bus to work. The sky was grey and it was rather windy – the weather forecast said that it would probably rain but I've never trusted it. London was always so busy. So many people running around, it was crazy. Sometimes I miss laying back on a green grass field on a hill in Scotland. But I've grown used to this rush.

As I approached the firm, I've seen a sight that filled my eyes with desire. A desire I'd never understand.

Charles Carson. Standing outside the firm, talking to his phone.

I've approached him carefully, watching him as he moved his arms and body around while having a conversation I was not being attentive to. As I reached him, he threw the device into his pocked inside is coat and he turned his head to me and smiled.

"Good morning, Mrs. Hughes." He greeted with his melting tone of voice.

I shivered slightly – the things his voice would do to me. Stay calm, I said to myself. I got to be cool and to smile back. But he lent his hand for me to shake it and I did not think twice, I took it and shook it. Instinct, some might say.

"Good morning, Mr. Carson." I greeted him back, glancing the newspaper he had folded between his arm. "Have you seen the news?"

"Oh yes. God help those poor souls, the situation is getting worse and worse." He said, waiting for me to walk beside him into the building.

"I did not know you were a man of god, Mr. Carson."

He grinned. "I'm not."

I grinned him back. Of course he was not, it was just a manner of speaking. I should have known. I've almost made a fool of myself. Stupid, Elsie. Stupid.

We walked inside side by side but then we were parted away. He went to his office, I stood beside my desk and began to work right away.

I would be a fool if I said that it was a normal day of work. I couldn't possibly stop thinking about how ours hands were clasped, even though it wasn't in a very romantic way. But we talked. We have such a professional relationship, but even with that, we've never been so close to each other.

Even Matthew noticed that there was something odd with me. He works in the same firm. I got him inside, actually. It was the first time I had a proper talk with Charles – about Matthew. I remember Charles saying that with such good references and being a friend of such a good woman and professional, he had nothing to say but to let him join the party. I was so happy.

Me and Matthew had lunch like we always have, nothing out of ordinary. But that man knew me very well to notice that I was particularly red. Not even all the make-up I had on my bag would help it. Oh well, the harm was already done.

The time passed like mad through the afternoon and I couldn't wait to get home.

Even though I moved from Isobel's flat when I had enough money to afford a place of my own, I bought the one right next to it. I was lucky. Isobel then moved in with Richard and Matthew stood in her old flat. Let's just say I've never truly stopped being his babysitter. 5 years since that happened. It's crazy how time flies.

I kicked of my heels and threw my coat over my bed. I needed a cup of tea. I got me one and turned on the tv and my laptop to see if I had any new messages from my sister Annie or from work. When I opened my mail, I had trouble keeping the tea inside my mouth.

I had an email. From Charles Carson. That never happens. I was quite afraid of what he might want to tell me.

Dear Elsie Hughes,
I know that me being your boss doesn't give me much opportunity to have a desirable behavior around you. But I've been thinking… that outside these walls there's nothing stopping me.
What do you think?
- C.C.

So this is what people feel when they have an heart attack. Because mine stopped for a second. What is air, I kept asking to myself. Charles Carson implied that he wanted to go out with me. In his subtle and subliminar self.

Charles Carson,
Are you asking me out?
- E.H.

After ten seconds of replying to him, I've yelled in anger with myself. What have I done? Why would I reply like that? So long for a quiet crush, Elsie Hughes. I could only hope that he would never read that email.

How I slept the following night? I could not answer. Maybe being so worried got me so tired the only thing I remember is my alarmclock being its annoying self. I went back to work trying not to meet his eyes – and I didn't, as I was late. I've never been late for work in my life. No one seemed to notice, though. All was good.

But when I got to my desk… I saw a note. A folded paper with something written on.

I've took a few moments to read it and I almost had another heart attack. Only one word.

Yes. – C.C.

Charles Carson asked me out. Charles Carson asked me out.
The man I've been secretly loving my whole life asked me out.
I feel like I am 20 again.
Now, what should I reply to him without sounding too stupid or too available?