1. regarding beauty

It is not as if he had only become aware of it now. Kija was beautiful, but so what? Big fucking deal. Jae-Ha had known this the moment he had laid eyes on the younger man and he was not one to deny himself the simple pleasures in life, which include (but are not limited to) beautiful places and beautiful people. Oh, and hard liquor... It's not wise to forget about the booze. Or is it? He should have skipped the alcohol some hours ago and perhaps he would be sleeping by now instead of dwelling on the subject of beauty (Kija's, to be precise).

It's not like he had to do something about it, such as initiate any kind of interaction between them or maybe even feel repulsed by his thoughts. Beautiful things simply are and demand no specific reaction from us apart from admiration. That was the sole reason he was gazing at the other man sleeping beside him. He was simply doing what beauty demanded him to do, that is, admire its existence. Beauty and, well, maybe he shouldn't have drunk at all tonight because the alcohol was probably getting to his head. He was definitely not looking because he was attracted to him in any way aside from pure aesthetics.

Besides, Hakuryuu was not the only one in their merry band of misfits he deemed attractive. Hak was undeniably handsome, Yoon was a boy as pretty as some of the most attractive teenage girls he had met (if you're into that), and Yona ... well, she was definitely something else (even if he still blamed the dragon blood for his heart fluttering every now and then when she looked at him). Whereas Kija ... he wasn't manly like Hak but he also lacked that femininity the other two had. He could be considered pretty, but the word his mind was compelling him to use was the all-inclusive adjective that is beautiful.

The freaking point he was trying to make before his mind ran wild was that it's not because he recognized that that holier-than-thou jerk with a stick up his ass was indeed beautiful that it would change in any way how he perceived him. Having established that, he still couldn't quite grasp why the thought of brushing a stray wisp of silver hair from his eyes was suddenly so alluring. Why his lips were curling into a smile when he saw the peaceful expression on the other's face. Why he still found him beautiful even after he started drooling in his sleep.

He was going out of his mind. Or maybe it was the rum. Yeah, most certainly the rum. He didn't have that pirate tolerance he used to have, — it seems he had gone soft while hanging out with mostly teenagers. That's it. Tomorrow he would wake up and this silly whatever the fuck it is would be gone. Now he just had to force himself to sleep and get the silver haired boy out of his line of sight (and mind).

(it's excused to say it didn't)

2. regarding love

It is true Kija didn't know much about love. He never minded girls much, despite his grandmother's most earnest efforts to find him a partner. His one and only resolution was to serve his master — he was so sure he would be the one to fulfill his predecessors' will that he didn't really think a lot about anything else and limited himself to wait for the day he would be reunited with the other dragons and their master. Also, girls made him a little uneasy. They were intense and overly flirty and he really didn't know how to deal with them.

Maybe the only time he ever felt anything of the sort for anyone outside his family was when he met Yona. It may be that what he felt for her was what people called love. Yet, he doesn't think the way he feels is the romantic sort of feeling. He reckons she's beautiful and, dragon's blood aside, he clearly doted on her. His heart felt warm when she was pleased with him and he felt an urge to protect her. He felt jealous when other people had her attention.

But he didn't want to kiss her, or touch her, or be intimate with her, or any of the other things people always talked about when it came to love. He just wanted to be by her side and be good to her. That was his life's resolve. Wasn't that enough love for his whole life?

Maybe Jae-Ha was right when he said he was too pure.

Maybe he would grow up later or maybe he wouldn't.

Maybe he really didn't know much about love though.

(the time for that would come later and, needless to say, it's not enough)

3. regarding trust

"Why did you do it?" Jae-Ha asks, still incredulous as he looked at Kija lying inside the tent, the silver haired man's eyes half-closed "Do you have a death wish? Or maybe you do like getting scarred. Never would have taken you for a masochist. But if you fancy that, though, I can come up with a few extremely creative ideas."

His tone was playful as ever, but he was feeling unsettled. They had encountered a few soldiers on the road and it's not like they couldn't deal with it. They were all seriously strong and not even a battalion could take them down, thank you. But he had been reckless, too confident on his own skills. He almost suffered a blow that could have been fatal. That would have been pathetic — you're not free when you die, you're just ... well, dead.

Then the unexpected happened. Kija put himself behind him, saving him from the blow. It could have been much worse but he still got badly hurt, the idiot. He would have understood if he had done it for Yona ... but him? Didn't he realize that once he was dead he couldn't fulfill his so-called mission?

"Are you trying to pick a fight with someone wounded?" Kija asked.

"Yeah, I guess, if fighting's what you people call it these days." Jae-Ha winked at him, expecting the other to blush or something, like the prepubescent teenager he was at heart, but instead was met with confused eyes regarding him "Oh forget it, teasing you is not fun at all, you're like a little kid."

He sighed, his eyes now moving towards Hakuryuu's chest which was covered in bandages. Kija really had to thank Yoon — anyone could see the kid was talented, because his bandage work was perfectly done.

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Save me. Put your life at risk for the sake of someone you don't really like." Jae-Ha said, his stern expression than changing into a cheeky grin "Or are you secretly in love with me? That would explain it, and I don't blame you — I'm probably the most handsome man you've ever seen."

Kija blushed in a way that had up until then been reserved to things related to Yona. He tried to compose himself — he didn't love anyone, much less Jae-Ha. Did he like him, though? He had never stopped to think about it, but despite his insufferable attitude, the other was still one of his fellow dragons. He was one of the people he always dreamed to be with. He was his comrade. Of course he liked him, apart from his shitty personality.

"You're my comrade. Of course I'll protect you. That's a given." he said solemnly.

"That's so stupid and so you. Really? Comrades? We just happen to be traveling together, I already told you I'm not like you, I don't care about any of that dragon bullshit."

Kija thought for a while before answering.

"But you're still here and you protect Yona. I guess it's enough. Someone who protects Yona is someone I wouldn't mind die protecting."

"Even if it meant not being by Yona's side anymore? The thing you most wanted your whole life?"

"I've got the will off all my predecessors on my back. I shouldn't dishonor them by being a dishonorable person while at King Hiryuu's side."

It was so like him to say something of the sort. It was laughable even — how different from him he was. Even so, Jae-Ha didn't think less of him because of that. It was admirable. Day after day, Kija surprised him, changing everything he had previously thought of the other. Yes, he was still an annoying self-righteous prick.

And maybe he was falling a little for such prick. Damn.

"You're not half-bad." Jae-Ha said, smiling.

"You're not half-bad either, I guess."

(and they were indeed a little bit for each other ... they guess)

4. regarding affection

Day by day, inside the tent Kija was sleeping in as he recovered, they started gravitating towards each other. Jae-Ha made himself watch for the injured man as the rest of the group tended to their businesses. It started with hands touching, shared looks that lingered for a second more than what was acceptable between friends, endearing smiles when the other wasn't looking, elbows touching, and even bickering. Even that last one had changed — it was now playful, flirty even.

"You must really enjoy staying inside this tent. Your recovery has been slow as hell. It's like you like staying inside a tent, warm ..."

"Yeah, there are no bugs, I can't say I don't enjoy being inside." Kija agreed with the other one, but there was still plenty of eye-rolling from his part.

"Also, being tended day and night by me must be amazing. Many would kill to have the opportunity."

"I do agree having someone to kill the spiders is nice, but you don't really do anything aside from sleeping at night. Also, I never asked you to be here with me. You can go, if it is so exasperating." Kija said.

"Ouch, you've hurt me, Kija. You don't like my company?" Jae-ha leaned in towards the other boy "And I must say, I'm also very useful at night, if you want me to."

"You are?" Kija was blushing — the green haired man's face was way too close to him and his heart was beating fast. He had come to realize this last few days that he had really nice eyes. And nice lips too, it seemed.

"I've been told so. I could give you a sample, if you'd like." Jae-Ha's eyes were now looking towards the other lips. They were cherry, and looked soft and moist. He couldn't help wonder how it would be to kiss him or if he had ever been kissed before.

"Really ..." he said, his breath now uneven as Jae-Ha started closing the space between them, his face probably redder than ever.

"If you'd like. Do you want me to?" Jae-Ha didn't know if he could control himself to follow the other's wishes if he said no.

"I guess ... it wouldn't hurt to try."

The other didn't wait one more second, his lips clashing with the other's passionately. He didn't want to frighten him, and so he stayed still for a while, just enjoying the taste and sense of his lips touching his. He was surprised when the other one started pushing, closing in the remaining space that there was still between them. Their chests were touching and Jae-Ha's fingers were playing with strands of silver hair.

The kiss didn't last for long, as Kija broke it apart with a sudden growl.

"... Was it ... that bad?" Jae-Ha asked, a bit hurt.

The silver haired man had yet to regain composure. His cheeks were bright red and he still had his mouth open.

"Uh ... no ... far from it. It's just ... my chest."

"Oh." Jae-Ha said to himself, the smile coming back to his face.

"Yeah ... " Kija couldn't help smiling too and their eyes were fixed on each other again.

Jae-Ha came closer to him, looking at him seductively but tenderly at the same time.

"I could try and be gentle. If you would still like it."

"I don't mind if it hurts a little. But please do so." their smiles were both wide now "Try again, I mean."

"Everything you desire."

They did kiss for a long time. And that night, Kija wasn't afraid of bugs. And that night, Jae-Ha thought that maybe beauty is not to be admired from afar ... That beauty also needs to be nurtured.

(yoon eventually found them sleeping close together, but he didn't wake them up — it's not like he hadn't called it a week ago)