Dislaimer: I do not own Card Captors, it is owned by the four women who actually own Card Captors, CLAMP, Nelvana, Kodansha, and any others I forgot I apologize.
A/N: This is my first attempt at a somewhat humorous fic. Please go easy on my, because I have no experience in this genre. Arigatou minna, and enjoy!
* * *
The Videogame Crisis
Written by: Pyromancer
* * *
The television shone with a brilliant light, as the screen flashed several times, illuminating the dark room. Kero skillfully maneuvered his character across the screen, dodging blows, and trying to swipe his enemy with his deadly sword. He was completey immersed in this latest video game, a ninja warrior type. A bead of sweat rolled down his cute, rounded face as he pressed many buttons on his controller, his eyes never averting from the screen.
Fushina, the company that programmed and produced this game, was Kero's favorite game corporation. Ever since its first game, Zylon Warriors, made its arrival on the gaming market, Kero had begged and nagged Sakura to get every video game produced by that company.
Kero smirked as his ninja lept up in a graceful jump, twirled around, and swiped its blade against the face of his enemy, forcing a knockout. On the screen was the big bold lettering of "Victory", as Kero's character made several impressive movements with its sword, stopping in a fighting stance.
"YES! All right! I won!" he shouted joyously, flying around the room, while sending condenscending and obnoxious remarks to his defeated opponent on the screen, who hung its head in shame as Kero continued on with his banter.
Kero gently massaged his paws, which were slightly tired after a match with one of his toughest computer opponents yet. As a prize for winning the fight, Kero's character acquired a newer sword, one with a razor sharp edge, and composed of tempered steel. His eyes gleamed as he took a look at his new sword, which seemed to glow on the screen.
He pressed a couple more buttons on the controller, entering his character with the new sword to battle his next opponent. A robot appeared on the other side of the screen, in a battle stance, with glowing red eyes. Kero's eyes narrowed as he eyed his robot opponent suspiciously, as if to search for its weaknesses.
Without warning, the robot lept up into the air, and jump kicked Kero's character clumsily. Although the robot's movements were jerky and not smooth, the kick still sent the ninja into the wall, taking a considerable amount of health away from Kero's side.
Kero winced slightly, but still concentrated, sending his ninja into a series of lightning fast sword swipes. The robot was thrown against the wall, scarred badly, but still conscious. It was Kero's turn to smirk, as his ninja tripped the robot, kicked it in the head, flipped over the robot and swiped it with its sword.
The ninja was about to deal out the final blow, when the robot lifted its arm and a light began to form at its end, growing bigger and bigger with each passing second. As the ball of light began to grow larger, Kero became very nervous.
"What is that light?" Kero asked to no one in particular.
He tried to move his ninja to swipe the robot before he found out what that light was, but the ninja was paralyzed, unable to move.
The ball of light expanded, and suddenly, a very large laser beam shot out, striking Kero's ninja, and sending it face down to the ground, knocked out.
The words "Game Over" shifted onto the screen as the robot cackled victoriously, and as taunting music played in the background.
"NANI?!? That move was so...so CHEAP!" Kero yelled indignantly, anger clearly visible upon his face. "How can ANYONE win with that big lump of trashed metal using its _illegal_ laser attack? Arghhh..."
He threw down his controller to the hard wood floor, trying to vent his anger in some way. The controller hit the floor hard, causing the device to break apart. Electricity began to crackle around it, as a few computer chips inside fell out, clinking onto the floor.
Kero's eyes widened, and his anger was immediately forgotten. He slowly lowered himself to the ground, a look akin to horror present on his rounded face. He gently took the broken controller into his hands, cradling it as if it were a child.
With a single wave of his paw, the television and the game console shut off, leaving the room in an uneasy silence. Kero's usually yellow and bouyant face now paled considerably, eyeing the only controller that he owned, which was now broken and beyond repair.
"I think that I'll have to get a new one," he said softly, the tension within him growing. He sweatdropped and fell to the floor, teary-eyed.
"Watashi wa baka desu..." Kero said, chiding himself.
He then proceeded to repeatedly hit his head on the wall, yelping in pain with each impact. Exhausted, he fell to the floor and fell to the floor, his eyes spiraled.
* * *
Touya and Yukito were quietly reading over their books, studying for their upcoming physics exam. Both were deep in thought, silence hovering over the room like a shadow.
Touya cleared his throat and broke the uncomfortable silence. "Yukito, do you want any tea? I have plenty here."
He motioned towards the teapot in his left hand, and the cup in his right hand.
Yukito smiled cheerfully. "Hai. Arigatou."
Touya was about to pour the tea into the cup, when several pounding noises startled him, spilling the tea all over himself and Yukito.
He was mortified to say the least, and apologized profusely. "Gomen, gomen, gomen!" An irritated mark appeared on his forehead, and he closed his eyes in frustration. That noise had originated from his sister's room, no doubt.
Yukito calmly dried his shirt with a napkin. "It's all right Touya."
Touya sighed in relief, then glanced suspiciously behind him.
The two returned to their studies, not saying any more.
* * *
Kero woke up from his unconsciousness, and slowly rubbed his eyes. He floated slowly on top of Sakura's desk, and procured a pen and a piece of paper. He then began to write.
(Start Letter)
Dear Sir/Madam:
I have recently broken one of my controllers for a Playstation 2 console, so now I am requesting another one. Enclosed with this envelope is the sufficient money to purchase it. The money for shipping and handling is also included. Please send the package by air mail. Arigatou.
Regards,
Keroberos
(End Letter)
"There," said Kero with an air of finality, resting the pen on the desk. "Now, all I have to do is find an envelope and a stamp."
Kero opened all the desk draws with a casual wave of his paw, and he began to search all of them. Finally spotting one amongst the messy contents, he reached for it...only to fall in the pile of papers, face down.
"Who would've known that writing one letter would take so much effort?" Kero said sardonically, brushing a few pink paper hearts off his head.
He proceeded to fly out of the drawer with the letter and stamp...however, fate chose him to connect hard with the top of the desk, causing him to fall back down again, with an even bigger bruise on his head.
Kero finally crawled out of the drawer...but fell over the extended end and fell to the floor with a sickening thud.
He groaned and massaged the bruise on his head with even greater care, muttering, "Why me?"
After one hour and six bruises later, Kero's letter was all ready to be sent out.
Kero looked on proudly at his finished envelope, and picked it up with ease. He paused and placed the envelope back onto the desk, while contemplating the many options of getting it to the post office.
"Hmm...I _could_ use magic, but that would be obvious, and it would give my true identity away," he said thoughtfully.
"Or...I could just try to lay low and sneak my way to the post office by foot, and place it in the mailbox..."
He sighed, and chose choice two. Tying the letter to his back, he flew to the door, opened it, and walked out of the room. In Touya's room, he heard talking, two voices belonging to Touya and Yukito.
Kero quietly, tryed to walk past the door without making any noise, but failed to do so, yelping when a sharp corner of the envelope cut into his fur.
The door opened, and a very aggravated Touya stepped out, grumbling to himself. He spotted Kero on the ground, with an envelope strapped to his back.
Touya gave a suspicious look at Kero, before picking him up by one ear. "How did you get out here?" He spotted the envelope tied to Kero's back, and chuckled.
"I'm assuming that the kaijuu thinks her winged stuffed animal can make air mail deliveries," he said, opening up Sakura's bedroom door, and tossing Kero back in.
Kero hit the side of the desk, and slid slowly down, lying in a heap at the floor. Grumbling again, Touya shut the door, and Kero wobbled as he attempted to get up once more.
"This must be one of my more horrific days," Kero said, trying to open the door once more. He suceeded, and this time, flew down the stairs, into the kitchen, and out of the door.
* * *
An hour later, Kero faced the road boldly, glaring at the speeding cars, as if they dared to challenge his victory on this perilous journey. The post office was right across the road, but somehow, Kero had to maneuver himself so quickly and skillfully that he could get past the road without being noticed or seen.
In other words, the task was pretty much an impossibility.
However, Kero was ready to face the problem, seeing it as a challenge. Flying above the cars was out of the question, because it would be too noticable. The post office was packed with people today, so it would be too much to hope for that all of them wouldn't notice a hovering stuffed animal with a crudely secured envelope on its back.
He gritted his teeth and took one tentative step onto the road...only to be nearly run over by a gigantic pizza delivery truck. Kero dodged the truck, face-faulting at the renewed doubt of his survival on this road.
Without warning, another two cars came racing towards him. Kero's eyes widened in fear, following his instinct and ducking. Both cars passed by over him, not doing any damage.
Kero sighed in relief, wiping his brow. He cautiously moved from the third to the fourth and final lane, keeping a wary eye at the approaching cars and trucks. Before he could react, a truck's wheel slammed into him, sending him flying off the road, and crashing into the mail box.
He fell to the ground and began to speak in a tired tone. "This is definitely not fun. I want to go home!" he wailed, animé tears flowing out of his eyes and streaming onto the ground.
Not caring anymore if someone saw him, he flew up, opened the slot, and took the battered envelope off his back and shoved it into the mail box.
He sweatdropped. Now all he had to do was get back across the street to get back home.
'Just when things couldn't get any worse,' he thought.
* * *
"I'm home!" announced Sakura, her emerald green eyes twinkling as she entered her house. "Onnichan? Otousan?"
She carefully took her backpack off and laid it gently against a wall, and swiftly sprinted upstairs, taking two steps at a time.
She opened the door, and was met by a not too appealing scene.
Pink hearts, pieces of paper, and envelopes lay scattered over the floor. Her collection of pens were located in different parts of her room, also mixed up. Stamps, photos, and tape lay strewn over the desk. And, as she looked over the scene helplessly, Kero's video game controller lay in two pieces, the computer chips left astray.
"Kero? Kero!" she said worriedly, looking around. "Where are you Kero?"
She began to clean up all of the mess, in hope of finding Kero after the room was completely fixed.
After a bit of effort, everything was in its rightful place, except for the video game controller, which now resided in the trash can.
Suddenly, Kero burst into the room, looking haggard and worn out.
"Sakura...controller...broken...get...new...left...post...office...letter..." he mumbled, falling to the ground.
"Kero!" Sakura rushed to pick up the tired Clow Guardian, whose once immaculate fur was now covered with dirt and bits of grass.
"Are you okay?" Sakura asked worriedly, resting him on her bed.
Kero just muttered incoherently, and for the first time, she noticed a big bruise upon his head.
Sakura looked at Kero sympathetically, and rushed out of her room.
"I'll go get some ice and a wash cloth," she said, before closing the door.
* * *
After an hours rest, Sakura's expert care, and after eating a substantial amount of chocolate pudding, Kero fully recovered from his exhaustion.
"So Kero..." Sakura started. "What happened while I was gone? When I got home, I saw envelopes, pens, paper, stamps, all over the room."
Sweatdropping enormously, Kero explained how his controller broke, how he desired to get a new one by ordering it by mail, and how he finally delivered it to the post office.
When he was done, a confused expression was written on Sakura's face.
"I see..." she said slowly, but her facial expression showed exactly the opposite.
"Gomen..." Kero said, bowing his head.
"It's okay...but I'm curious Kero...why didn't you just use the Time Card? You're the guardian of the seal, so obviously, you can also use the cards. What you could have done was to go back to the time that you were fighting that computer opponent, and regardless of whether you won or lost, you wouldn't have thrown your controller down on the floor again, so it wouldn't have been broken. It makes sense, ne?"
Kero stood, mouth hanging open, and shock registering on his face.
"NANI?!? WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!?!? BAKA!"
Sakura giggled lightly, her emerald eyes twinkling with amusement.
* * *
A/N: This is my first attempt at a somewhat humorous fic. Please go easy on my, because I have no experience in this genre. Arigatou minna, and enjoy!
* * *
The Videogame Crisis
Written by: Pyromancer
* * *
The television shone with a brilliant light, as the screen flashed several times, illuminating the dark room. Kero skillfully maneuvered his character across the screen, dodging blows, and trying to swipe his enemy with his deadly sword. He was completey immersed in this latest video game, a ninja warrior type. A bead of sweat rolled down his cute, rounded face as he pressed many buttons on his controller, his eyes never averting from the screen.
Fushina, the company that programmed and produced this game, was Kero's favorite game corporation. Ever since its first game, Zylon Warriors, made its arrival on the gaming market, Kero had begged and nagged Sakura to get every video game produced by that company.
Kero smirked as his ninja lept up in a graceful jump, twirled around, and swiped its blade against the face of his enemy, forcing a knockout. On the screen was the big bold lettering of "Victory", as Kero's character made several impressive movements with its sword, stopping in a fighting stance.
"YES! All right! I won!" he shouted joyously, flying around the room, while sending condenscending and obnoxious remarks to his defeated opponent on the screen, who hung its head in shame as Kero continued on with his banter.
Kero gently massaged his paws, which were slightly tired after a match with one of his toughest computer opponents yet. As a prize for winning the fight, Kero's character acquired a newer sword, one with a razor sharp edge, and composed of tempered steel. His eyes gleamed as he took a look at his new sword, which seemed to glow on the screen.
He pressed a couple more buttons on the controller, entering his character with the new sword to battle his next opponent. A robot appeared on the other side of the screen, in a battle stance, with glowing red eyes. Kero's eyes narrowed as he eyed his robot opponent suspiciously, as if to search for its weaknesses.
Without warning, the robot lept up into the air, and jump kicked Kero's character clumsily. Although the robot's movements were jerky and not smooth, the kick still sent the ninja into the wall, taking a considerable amount of health away from Kero's side.
Kero winced slightly, but still concentrated, sending his ninja into a series of lightning fast sword swipes. The robot was thrown against the wall, scarred badly, but still conscious. It was Kero's turn to smirk, as his ninja tripped the robot, kicked it in the head, flipped over the robot and swiped it with its sword.
The ninja was about to deal out the final blow, when the robot lifted its arm and a light began to form at its end, growing bigger and bigger with each passing second. As the ball of light began to grow larger, Kero became very nervous.
"What is that light?" Kero asked to no one in particular.
He tried to move his ninja to swipe the robot before he found out what that light was, but the ninja was paralyzed, unable to move.
The ball of light expanded, and suddenly, a very large laser beam shot out, striking Kero's ninja, and sending it face down to the ground, knocked out.
The words "Game Over" shifted onto the screen as the robot cackled victoriously, and as taunting music played in the background.
"NANI?!? That move was so...so CHEAP!" Kero yelled indignantly, anger clearly visible upon his face. "How can ANYONE win with that big lump of trashed metal using its _illegal_ laser attack? Arghhh..."
He threw down his controller to the hard wood floor, trying to vent his anger in some way. The controller hit the floor hard, causing the device to break apart. Electricity began to crackle around it, as a few computer chips inside fell out, clinking onto the floor.
Kero's eyes widened, and his anger was immediately forgotten. He slowly lowered himself to the ground, a look akin to horror present on his rounded face. He gently took the broken controller into his hands, cradling it as if it were a child.
With a single wave of his paw, the television and the game console shut off, leaving the room in an uneasy silence. Kero's usually yellow and bouyant face now paled considerably, eyeing the only controller that he owned, which was now broken and beyond repair.
"I think that I'll have to get a new one," he said softly, the tension within him growing. He sweatdropped and fell to the floor, teary-eyed.
"Watashi wa baka desu..." Kero said, chiding himself.
He then proceeded to repeatedly hit his head on the wall, yelping in pain with each impact. Exhausted, he fell to the floor and fell to the floor, his eyes spiraled.
* * *
Touya and Yukito were quietly reading over their books, studying for their upcoming physics exam. Both were deep in thought, silence hovering over the room like a shadow.
Touya cleared his throat and broke the uncomfortable silence. "Yukito, do you want any tea? I have plenty here."
He motioned towards the teapot in his left hand, and the cup in his right hand.
Yukito smiled cheerfully. "Hai. Arigatou."
Touya was about to pour the tea into the cup, when several pounding noises startled him, spilling the tea all over himself and Yukito.
He was mortified to say the least, and apologized profusely. "Gomen, gomen, gomen!" An irritated mark appeared on his forehead, and he closed his eyes in frustration. That noise had originated from his sister's room, no doubt.
Yukito calmly dried his shirt with a napkin. "It's all right Touya."
Touya sighed in relief, then glanced suspiciously behind him.
The two returned to their studies, not saying any more.
* * *
Kero woke up from his unconsciousness, and slowly rubbed his eyes. He floated slowly on top of Sakura's desk, and procured a pen and a piece of paper. He then began to write.
(Start Letter)
Dear Sir/Madam:
I have recently broken one of my controllers for a Playstation 2 console, so now I am requesting another one. Enclosed with this envelope is the sufficient money to purchase it. The money for shipping and handling is also included. Please send the package by air mail. Arigatou.
Regards,
Keroberos
(End Letter)
"There," said Kero with an air of finality, resting the pen on the desk. "Now, all I have to do is find an envelope and a stamp."
Kero opened all the desk draws with a casual wave of his paw, and he began to search all of them. Finally spotting one amongst the messy contents, he reached for it...only to fall in the pile of papers, face down.
"Who would've known that writing one letter would take so much effort?" Kero said sardonically, brushing a few pink paper hearts off his head.
He proceeded to fly out of the drawer with the letter and stamp...however, fate chose him to connect hard with the top of the desk, causing him to fall back down again, with an even bigger bruise on his head.
Kero finally crawled out of the drawer...but fell over the extended end and fell to the floor with a sickening thud.
He groaned and massaged the bruise on his head with even greater care, muttering, "Why me?"
After one hour and six bruises later, Kero's letter was all ready to be sent out.
Kero looked on proudly at his finished envelope, and picked it up with ease. He paused and placed the envelope back onto the desk, while contemplating the many options of getting it to the post office.
"Hmm...I _could_ use magic, but that would be obvious, and it would give my true identity away," he said thoughtfully.
"Or...I could just try to lay low and sneak my way to the post office by foot, and place it in the mailbox..."
He sighed, and chose choice two. Tying the letter to his back, he flew to the door, opened it, and walked out of the room. In Touya's room, he heard talking, two voices belonging to Touya and Yukito.
Kero quietly, tryed to walk past the door without making any noise, but failed to do so, yelping when a sharp corner of the envelope cut into his fur.
The door opened, and a very aggravated Touya stepped out, grumbling to himself. He spotted Kero on the ground, with an envelope strapped to his back.
Touya gave a suspicious look at Kero, before picking him up by one ear. "How did you get out here?" He spotted the envelope tied to Kero's back, and chuckled.
"I'm assuming that the kaijuu thinks her winged stuffed animal can make air mail deliveries," he said, opening up Sakura's bedroom door, and tossing Kero back in.
Kero hit the side of the desk, and slid slowly down, lying in a heap at the floor. Grumbling again, Touya shut the door, and Kero wobbled as he attempted to get up once more.
"This must be one of my more horrific days," Kero said, trying to open the door once more. He suceeded, and this time, flew down the stairs, into the kitchen, and out of the door.
* * *
An hour later, Kero faced the road boldly, glaring at the speeding cars, as if they dared to challenge his victory on this perilous journey. The post office was right across the road, but somehow, Kero had to maneuver himself so quickly and skillfully that he could get past the road without being noticed or seen.
In other words, the task was pretty much an impossibility.
However, Kero was ready to face the problem, seeing it as a challenge. Flying above the cars was out of the question, because it would be too noticable. The post office was packed with people today, so it would be too much to hope for that all of them wouldn't notice a hovering stuffed animal with a crudely secured envelope on its back.
He gritted his teeth and took one tentative step onto the road...only to be nearly run over by a gigantic pizza delivery truck. Kero dodged the truck, face-faulting at the renewed doubt of his survival on this road.
Without warning, another two cars came racing towards him. Kero's eyes widened in fear, following his instinct and ducking. Both cars passed by over him, not doing any damage.
Kero sighed in relief, wiping his brow. He cautiously moved from the third to the fourth and final lane, keeping a wary eye at the approaching cars and trucks. Before he could react, a truck's wheel slammed into him, sending him flying off the road, and crashing into the mail box.
He fell to the ground and began to speak in a tired tone. "This is definitely not fun. I want to go home!" he wailed, animé tears flowing out of his eyes and streaming onto the ground.
Not caring anymore if someone saw him, he flew up, opened the slot, and took the battered envelope off his back and shoved it into the mail box.
He sweatdropped. Now all he had to do was get back across the street to get back home.
'Just when things couldn't get any worse,' he thought.
* * *
"I'm home!" announced Sakura, her emerald green eyes twinkling as she entered her house. "Onnichan? Otousan?"
She carefully took her backpack off and laid it gently against a wall, and swiftly sprinted upstairs, taking two steps at a time.
She opened the door, and was met by a not too appealing scene.
Pink hearts, pieces of paper, and envelopes lay scattered over the floor. Her collection of pens were located in different parts of her room, also mixed up. Stamps, photos, and tape lay strewn over the desk. And, as she looked over the scene helplessly, Kero's video game controller lay in two pieces, the computer chips left astray.
"Kero? Kero!" she said worriedly, looking around. "Where are you Kero?"
She began to clean up all of the mess, in hope of finding Kero after the room was completely fixed.
After a bit of effort, everything was in its rightful place, except for the video game controller, which now resided in the trash can.
Suddenly, Kero burst into the room, looking haggard and worn out.
"Sakura...controller...broken...get...new...left...post...office...letter..." he mumbled, falling to the ground.
"Kero!" Sakura rushed to pick up the tired Clow Guardian, whose once immaculate fur was now covered with dirt and bits of grass.
"Are you okay?" Sakura asked worriedly, resting him on her bed.
Kero just muttered incoherently, and for the first time, she noticed a big bruise upon his head.
Sakura looked at Kero sympathetically, and rushed out of her room.
"I'll go get some ice and a wash cloth," she said, before closing the door.
* * *
After an hours rest, Sakura's expert care, and after eating a substantial amount of chocolate pudding, Kero fully recovered from his exhaustion.
"So Kero..." Sakura started. "What happened while I was gone? When I got home, I saw envelopes, pens, paper, stamps, all over the room."
Sweatdropping enormously, Kero explained how his controller broke, how he desired to get a new one by ordering it by mail, and how he finally delivered it to the post office.
When he was done, a confused expression was written on Sakura's face.
"I see..." she said slowly, but her facial expression showed exactly the opposite.
"Gomen..." Kero said, bowing his head.
"It's okay...but I'm curious Kero...why didn't you just use the Time Card? You're the guardian of the seal, so obviously, you can also use the cards. What you could have done was to go back to the time that you were fighting that computer opponent, and regardless of whether you won or lost, you wouldn't have thrown your controller down on the floor again, so it wouldn't have been broken. It makes sense, ne?"
Kero stood, mouth hanging open, and shock registering on his face.
"NANI?!? WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!?!? BAKA!"
Sakura giggled lightly, her emerald eyes twinkling with amusement.
* * *