Daddy Issues
An: I do not own Arrow.
Felicity hopped up on the bar stool and ordered a scotch, neat, just the way Oliver liked it. It had been a long day at Queen Consol... no that wasn't right, it was Palmer Technologies now. She couldn't even get her thoughts straight and that's probably why she ended up at a bar around the corner from her day job. She had sat in front of her computer all day trying to do work and failed miserably. She could almost hear Oliver telling her that she needed to clear her head. She had barely seen him over the last month yet he always seemed to be everywhere in her life. He had left yesterday to go off to Nanda Parbat to face the Demon again. He had left her again; just like how her father had left her mother. She finally understood what her mother went through when her father left. She had felt it when she thought Oliver had died, but it is much worse knowing that the person is alive and chose to walk away on their own.
The scotch arrived in front of her and she downed it in one go slamming the glass on the bar in front of her and signalling to the bartender that she wanted a refill. She had not talked to Ray at all today. When she awoke, he was gone as well, off to solve the latest issue with his suit. He had sent her a text by mid-morning telling her he had the suit flying. It seemed that every man in her life would leave her for something more important than her. She knew Ray was still around for her, well as long as he needed her for his suit, she still wasn't sure what would happen when his suit was completed, but he was still there, definitely more there than Oliver.
She liked Ray, she really did but she knew he wasn't Oliver and she would never have the connection she shared with Oliver, with him. In fact, she didn't think she could have a connection like that with any other man, but then how strong was her connection if she had said he would never side with Malcolm Merlyn? Her brain said she had been right then, she had been arguing about protecting the city, Oliver would never side with Malcolm to protect the city but when it came to protecting Thea that was an entirely different matter. After all, he had said that he was sure of two things, the first being that he would do anything to protect his family and siding with Malcolm definitely fell under the 'do anything' category. Felicity wondered what would be the cost to his soul. Even with her disapproval of his new BFF and the limbo their friendship was hanging in, she still found herself reaching out to him to show him her favourite part of the news video of the Count escaping. He had been turning away from the report and she had automatically reached out to him for him to see Laurel punch the guard. Of course he wasn't pleased with the report and she was sure he had seen it at least once before but he still watched the part that she drew to his attention.
She thought back to her first love Cooper, he had left her too. What was it about Smoak women that caused men to run away? Maybe it was a good thing that she barely had a social life, she didn't know how she would manage being rejected over and over again. She had seen what her mother went through and she had sworn that she would not end up like her mother.
She realised she might also have a choice to make, team Arrow (or what was left of it considering Digg left with Oliver) or the Atom suit. She knew there was no way she was strong enough to do both Arrow and Atom. She was the weakest member of Arrow and if she were honest with herself, she had been an emotional wreck recently and she had the empty pints of ice cream in the recycle bin home to prove it. The more she thought about it though, the more obvious the decision was. There was no way she could leave Roy and Laurel on their own; they needed her as much as she needed them. She would stay with team Arrow and maybe, depending on Oliver and Dig's survival, she would try to integrate Ray into the team.
Freud would be so pleased to see how she was letting her father's non-existent role in her life dominate her thoughts. Weren't women supposed to be attracted to men like their father? Again, she could hear an echo of Oliver's words reminding her that she is who she is today because of her experiences in the past. He wouldn't want her moping around like he did. She could finally agree with him on something. She needed to get back to the person she was six months ago, smart, funny and strong. She needed to hit all these new curve balls life was throwing her out of the park. With those thoughts, Felicity pushed away from the bar and made her way to another bar in the Glades. She used the alley exit and headed straight for her chair. She pulled up all her programmes and she readied herself for another night of protecting the city. This was who she was now, one of the protectors of the city and no matter who came and left in her life, she would always strive to protect her city.